Sunday, February 28, 2010



It's no secret: Rapidshare sucks. It fucking sucks BAD.
Unfortunately, I was not always aware of this.
Lucky for you, I'm a super nice guy. I went back and moved EVERY SINGLE file available for download in the IC Archives OFF of Rapidshare and ONTO either MadiaFire or Megaupload. It took a long time. But convenience and accessibility are of the utmost importance to both myself and the team here at Illogical Contraption HQ. Happy downloading, buttholes!

(Artist name & album title links to original post.)

Rorschach - Protestant (with corrected tracklist)
Alejandro Jodorowsky - Holy Mountain OST
Cretaceous - Demo '08
The Carl Stalling Project - Music From Warner Brothers Cartoons, 1936-1958
Fred Myrow & Malcolm Seagrave - Phantasm OST
Idiot Flesh - Fancy
Idiot Flesh - The Nothing Show
Embalmer - There Was Blood Everywhere
Joseph LoDuca - Evil Dead 2 OST
Demilich - Nespithe
Carnage - Dark Recollections
Brocas Helm - Black Death
Gorguts - Obscura
Rudimentary Peni - Cacophony
Malachi - Self-titled
Jerry Goldsmith - Logan's Run OST
Tigon - Self-titled EP (previously expired)

Sir Lord Baltimore - Kingdom Come
Sex Machineguns - Sex Machinegun (previously expired)
Lucifer's Friend - Self-titled
Facedowninshit - Shit Bloody Shit
Dystopia - Self-titled
Flower Travellin' Band - Made In Japan
Asmegin - Hin Vordende Sod And So (previously expired)
Butthole Surfers - Widowermaker EP
Discordance Axis - The Inalienable Dreamless
S.O.B. - Leave Me Alone (previously expired)
Cyaegha - Steps of Descent (previously expired)
Deathspell Omega - Kenose (previously expired)

Witch - Self-titled
Jerry Goldsmith - The Omen OST
Faxed Head - Chiropractic
MX - Simoniacal
Ved Buens Ende - Written In Waters
David Munrow - Zardoz Soundtrack
Various Artists - Awakening: Females In Extreme Music
Richard Band - Re-Animator/Bride of Re-Animator OST
Iron Lung - Life. Iron Lung. Death.
Pentagram - Turn To Stone

Ghoul - We Came For The Dead
Toto - Dune OST
Gentle Giant - Self-titled
His Hero Is Gone - Complete Discography
Basil Poledouris - Conan The Barbarian OST (previously expired)
Deadbodieseverywhere - Self-titled
Devo - Hardcore, Vol. I
Atomic Rooster - Death Walks Behind You
Joseph LoDuca - Evil Dead OST
The Hook - Hooked
Red Fang - Tour EP (previously expired)
Aura Noir - Black Thrash Attack
Basil Poledouris - Robocop OST
Boulder - Ripping Christ
Artimus Pyle - Civil Dead
Jerry Goldsmith - Runaway OST

Vondur - The Galactic Rock 'N' Roll Empire (previously expired)
Cephalectomy - Eclipsing The Dawn
Khlyst - Chaos Is My Name
Sleepytime Gorilla Museum - Grand Opening And Closing
Victim's Family - The Germ
Coroner - No More Color
Diamond Head - Lightning To The Nations
Belphegor - Blutsabbath
Poison Idea - Kings of Punk
Heathen - Breaking The Silence

Various Artists - Gummo OST
Bison (BC) - Earthbound
Pungent Stench - Been Caught Buttering
Various Artists - Eyesore: A Stab At The Residents
The Frogs - My Daughter The Broad
Various Artists - Hymns For The Hearing Impaired
Resurrection - Embalmed Existence
Alice Donut - The Untidy Suicides of Your Degenerate Children
Sore Throat - Unhindered By Talent
Alejandro Jodorowsky - El Topo OST
Born Against - Patriotic Battle Hymns
Harry Manfredini - Swamp Thing OST
Purulent Jacuzzi - Stench of the Drowned Carrion
Jerry Goldsmith - Alien OST
Regorge - Kingdoms of Derision

Various Artists - Nordic Metal: A Tribute To Euronymous
Mystic Circle - Drachenblut
Brujeria - Matando Gueros (previously expired)
Abscess - Damned And Mummified
Nifelheim - Devil's Force
Demolition Hammer - Epidemic of Violence
Various Artists - The Exorcist OST
Brutal Truth - Extreme Conditions Demand Extreme Responses
Thrones - Day Late, Dollar Short

Take a breather....

Putrevore - Morphed From Deadbreath
James Horner - Krull OST
Uriah Heep - Look At Yourself
Magrudergrind - Owned 7"
Rorschach - Live In Italy '92 (previously expired)
Basil Poledouris - Red Dawn OST
Thin Lizzy - Bad Reputation
Queiron - The Shepherd of Tophet
Celtic Frost - Morbid Tales
Os Mutantes - Self-titled (previously expired)
John Williams - Heartbeeps OST
Mistress - II: The Chronovisor
Ruins - Burning Stone
Tangerine Dream - Legend Soundtrack (US version)
Various Artists - Crass Records: A Sides, Part 1
Logical Nonsense - Deadtime
Morbid Saint - Spectrum of Death

Melt-Banana - Scratch Or Stitch
Grief - Come To Grief
Isao Tomita - Firebird Suite
Desekrator - Metal For Demons (previously expired)
Ol' Dirty Bastard - Return To The 36 Chambers: The Dirty Version
Unleashed - Shadows In The Deep
Univers Zero - Heresie
Hirax - Raging Violence
Walter Carlos & Friends - A Clockwork Orange OST
Accept - Restless And Wild (previously expired)
Thorns - Self-titled
Dün - Eros (previously expired)
Nuit - Lituus
Gentle Giant - Octopus
Popol Vuh - Nosferatu The Vampyre OST
Various Artists - Thrashing Holocaust
The Ravenous - Assembled In Blasphemy
Zao - Z = 7L (previously expired)
Various Artists - Possessed To Skate
Wendy Carlos - Tron OST
Anaal Nathrakh - Total Fucking Necro

Catheter - Preamble To Oblivion
Exhumed - Slaughtercult
Weakling - Dead As Dreams
Various Artists - Transformers The Movie (1986!) OST
The Phantom Limbs - Applied Ignorance
Hellhammer - Apocalyptic Raids
Sleep - Sleep's Holy Mountain
Septic Death - Crossed Out Twice
Harold Faltermeyer - The Running Man OST
Confessor - Condemned
Tubeway Army - Replicas
D.R.I. - Dealing With It
Crowbar - Obedience Through Suffering
Sepsism - To Prevail In Disgust
John Corigliano - Altered States OST

Spazz/Romantic Gorilla Split
Nazxul - Totem
Ennio Morricone - The Thing OST
Faust - Self-titled
Impetigo - Ultimo Mondo Cannibale
Body Count - Self-titled
Possessed - Beyond The Gates
Subhumans - From The Cradle To The Grave
Victimizer - The Final Assault (previously expired)

As always, let me know if you have any issues with these files. Maintenance comes included with every standard-issue IC Membership.

PS: A special "Congratulations" goes out to Monster Mutt, who took home the 2010 Monster Jam championship last night at the Oakland Coliseum with a whopping 31 points in the freestyle competition. Shit was EPIC.

*(I think)

Saturday, February 27, 2010

Totally kick ass montage of Michael Knight hitting the turbo boost and KITT jumping over shit.


Perhaps you recall our first encounter with the Geinoh Yamashirogumi collective: It was back in October of last year, when we discussed their near-perfect score for the animated 1988 film Akira. Their haunting blend of Japanese avant garde psychosis - featuring indigenous Balinese instruments like jegog and gamelan along with vocal ensemble and Roland synthesizers - provided a fitting backdrop for an equally haunting film. But what else has this mysterious group of reclusive musicians produced?
Gee, I'm glad you asked. Among a few other releases, Geinoh Yamashirogumi's greatest accomplishments came in the form of 1976's Osorezan/Dounokenbai and 1986's Ecophony Rinne. These two albums, released a decade apart, serve to shed some further light upon the Yamashirogumi legacy, and document their progression in the years leading up to Akira.
Originally released as Rinne Kohkyogaku (Reincarnated Orchestra) in 1986, Ecophony Rinne was re-released internationally in 1994 under its better-known title. Of all Yamashirogumi albums, Rinne is the one that most closely resembles Akira, awash with futuristic synth goodness and ethereal layered vocals. Highly recommended listening, and weird as shit.
Opening with an ear-piercing scream and devolving deeper and deeper into freaky communal-hippie chanting weirdness during the course of its 40 minutes, Osorezan/Donoukenbai presents a younger and more experimental Yamashirogumi collective. Osorezan can't decide if it's from 1969 or 2069, but I don't think it really matters. And by the time you get to the insane vocal percussion of Dounokenbai, neither will you.


Download HERE

ECOPHONY RINNE (1986/1994)

Download HERE

Geinoh Yamashirogumi website (in Japanese) / Wiki

Friday, February 26, 2010

BROMANTIC INTERLUDE #5: Abdul Alhazred Guides A Raucous, Squamous, Amorphous Tour of Apocalyptic Lovecraftian Dread

Perhaps you have not yet made the acquaintance of my dear friend abdul alhazred (right). What a shame.
I speak not of the well-known Abdul Alhazred who met his untimely demise at the hands of invisible demons in the middle of a crowded street-market some centuries ago, but a different and very much living (or is he?) Mr. alhazred who holds dominion over the morbid and hideous young beast known as From This Swamp. Visit the dark caverns and eery crevasses of abdul's foul new creation to experience the unspeakable horror of That Which Should Not Be. Shudder as you behold dark, massive, inescapable forms shambling towards oblivion. Scream as the rotten, foul-smelling appendages of musty, antediluvian mummies grasp at your very soul. And perish in the fires of a final, cleansing extinction. IA! IA!


Thusly Spoken: Apocalypse Music

Illogical Contraption cult leader Shelby Cobras has charged me with the task of compiling a collection of music pertaining to the word APOCALYPSE. After careful consideration, I have pruned roughly four hours worth of potential songs into 80 burnable minutes, primarily (but not entirely) of the heavy metal and punk rock varieties. Many of the discarded songs were from other genres: hip-hop, soul, noise, country, classical, soundtrack music, etc. Perhaps these shall surface someday from the fetid depths of the swamp I now call home. Quite a few other potential inclusions were also forgone due to their scheduled appearance there in the foreseeable future. What remains is hopefully a coherent document for future generations, a capsule buried deep enough to survive the approaching darkness. History will vindicate or vilify me, accordingly.

Boris Karloff - Civil Defense Spot: Protect your Home
Taken from Atomic Platters: Cold War Music from the Golden Age of Homeland Security (forthcoming)
Plasmatics - The Damned
The premier Reagan-era harbingers of the inevitable nuclear holocaust.
Spawn Sacs - Real Situation
Chattanooga/Miami's darkest and most self-destructive punk rock band, renowned for staring doom in the face and surviving. This is a cover of Bob Marley's eerily prophetic anthem.
The Dicks - I Hope You Get Drafted
A vitriolic screed against apathetic, apolitical ignorance. A condom full of spite hurled into a redneck's gaping jaw.
The Humpers - Apocalypse Girl
Black-humoured love song sung by the doomed, for the doomed.
Nausea - Inherit The Wasteland
Arguably the first vital American crust band, the template for a million albums of annihilation fetishism. The meek shall inherit the cinders.
In/Humanity - Nuclear Winter Wonderland
Diminutive but snappily-dressed front-man Chris Bickel sticks out his tongue and tastes the black snowflakes.
Cathedral - The Omega Man
Charlton Heston indulges in inter-racial romance and the wholesale slaughter of bomb-worshiping albinos.
Saint Vitus - The End Of The End
The go-to source for post-civilization rock and roll. Wino, like the humble cockroach, will scuttle though the ruins and thrive.
Trouble - Endtime
Christian doom bands perhaps have the best perspective on this sort of thing; a belief system revolving around end of it all set to the proper down-tuned hum of incoming ballistics.
Flower Travellin' Band - Hiroshima
Similarly, Japan's close brush with extinction lends this track weight and poignancy.
Slough Feg - White Cousin
This is taken from Ape Uprising, a concept album loosely based around Planet of the Apes, Here, subterranean mutants in tattered robes worship a missile god as yet undetonated.
Scientists - Atom Bomb Baby
Muddy, twisted rockabilly in the service of recreating the human race, this time perhaps as a tribe of two-headed greasers with burn scars to match the flames pinstriped on their bombed-out car husks.
Blues Creation - Atomic Bombs Away
Another Japanese rocker embracing the national spectre: ashen silhouettes of fleeing peasants remain where now-vaporized bodies once stood.
Funeral - Waiting For The Bomb Blast
Not the crusty Portland band – this is from Bloodstains across California. More Cold War paranoia you can dance to.
Fearless Iranians From Hell - Holy War
America's worst fear in the 80's (aside from a Black Planet): fat ugly queer Texas punks in balaclavas glorifying jihad, drugs, and hardcore music.
The Drags – Cannible (sic)
Ham-fisted Albuquerque garage punk whose priorities include arson, poison, electrocution, and red meat. Anything but spelling and production values, it seems.
Men's Recovery Project - The Fat Lady Is Singing
Corrosion of Conformity - Poison Planet
North Carolina's most famous toxic progeny, corpse-fattened hogs wallowing in luminescent mud.
Carnivore - Legion of Doom
The original preposterous Road Warrior metal, unsurpassed in thick-headed homoerotic manliness. Akin to stabbing yourself in the eye with a sharpened human femur.
Angel Witch - Extermination Day
NWOBHM second-stringers lobby for the merciful oblivion of universal genocide.
Dust - Thusly Spoken
Deceptively pretty ballad, perfect for relaxing with a Long Island Iced Tea and watching the skyline go up in flames. Drummer Marc Bell went on to fame after changing his surname to Ramone.
Hank Williams - Angel Of Death
A gleeful warning of things to come.
Nick Cave & Warren Ellis - The Cannibals
From the soundtrack to The Road.
Tem Eyos Ki - Kaput Mortem
Little Rock, Arkansas' most famous abstract Nintendo-metal warriors break from their usual dual-guitar template to serenade you into that final slumber.
Blind Willie Johnson - Dark Was The Night, Cold Was The Ground
The Earth heaves its death rattle out into space, and God looks down and says, “It is good.”


Thursday, February 25, 2010


Hailing from the two miniscule towns of Willits and Laytonville, California (populations 4,972 and 2,932 respectively), Ciribus emerged from the stony shadows of Mendocino County's redwood forests sometime in 1998. My old band played countless shows with these guys back around the turn of the millenium, both in our hometown and theirs (we were about 2 or 3 hours apart). In fact, we even embarked on an extremely ill-fated west coast tour with these sick fuckers back in 2001 or '02. It turned out bad.
Crossing The River Styx was their first demo release, featuring a four-piece version of the band (they were always a three-piece when I saw them, once even a two-piece because their bass player Luie was in jail). It's a sloppy mess, with terrible guitar tone and both drums and vocals clipping out all over the place. That being said, I think this 9-song, 13-minute disc really sums up everything great about metal. Four small-town dudes, completely isolated in their obsession with death metal, pouring strangely technical and unabashedly br00tal weed-grind into a 4-track machine in a shed somewhere. What the fuck is wrong with that?
Ciribus lasted about 5 years before splitting up and morphing into another band called Mummification. Beyond that, half of the dudes went on to join a reptoid-and-conspiracy-theory-obsessed tech metal outfit known as Embryonic Devourment (get their excellent Fear of Reality Exceeds Fantasy here).


Download HERE

Ciribus on Myspace / Mummification on Myspace / Embryonic Devourment on Last.FM

JOSEPH CAMPBELL AND THE "HERO'S JOURNEY" (As Told By A 1-Minute Cat Food Commercial)

(This post was adopted by the fine folks over at If you are left wondering what Joseph Campbell and a Friskies commercial could POSSIBLY have in common, head on over there and check it out. - Cobras)

Wednesday, February 24, 2010


Last time we checked in on analog synth god Isao Tomita, he was floating over the heads of 80,000 people, suspended in a glass pyramid as he live-mixed keyboard tracks at an Austrian music festival. Oh no wait, he was re-arranging the works of Mussorgsky, Stravinsky, and Debussy for electronic interpretation on 1975's Firebird. That's right. But that other part happened, too (at the 1984 Ars Electronica Festival in Linz - a performance documented on the live album Mind of the Universe).
Indeed, Mr. Tomita is a supremely trippy, space-obsessed dude, responsible for some of the finest oscillator modulation this side of Wendy Carlos or Morton Subotnick. And admittedly, Kosmos is one of his more commercial-minded albums. But Tomita has never shied from commercial work, scoring many a Japanese television show (Zatoichi, anyone?) and even working (like Carlos) with Disney at one point. Let us also consider the year 1978. If memory serves, a certain sci-fi film was recently released, and the public had cosmic travels on the brain.
Speaking of which, Tomita's version of John Williams' Star Wars theme on here is a true keeper, not to mention an excellent example of his innate ability to transform someone else's work into something completely different while still maintaining the integrity and feeling of the original. His treatment of Williams' work, awash in buzzing, swooning syncopation, channels the spirit of R2D2 via a melody that sounds like it's being played on a kazoo. Goofy, yes, but distinctly Tomita, as are the seven other tracks on Kosmos. You want the theme from 2001? You got it. A little bit of Grieg? No sweat. Tomita is a fucking pro.

Download HERE
Purchase HERE

Below: Isao Tomita = Pimp Sauce

A 6-minute excerpt from the album's final track, "The Sea Named Solaris", paired with a super-epic psychedelic art montage. Trip out.


I'm glad so many people enjoyed my previous post on Sun Ra and his Arkestra and I apologize that it has taken me so long to do a follow up. I wish that I had the time to indulge the enthusiasm you've all shown for his music but I'm a very busy (lazy) person with lot's to do (like nurse a perpetual hangover).

Exploring Sun Ra's discography is daunting for a variety of reasons. Not only is Ra's music some of the most abstract and challenging ever created (and, as much as I enjoy it, after ten years of regularly listening to it, I still can't say that I "get" all of it), but the motherfucker also released a shitload of it. There are over 120 known recordings, many of them out of print or difficult to find, some with alternate covers and titles. So, in addition to it being frustratingly time consuming, it's also incredibly expensive to be a Sun Ra fan. Ra never really worked with a major label (with the exception of Impulse! in the 1960s, at the height of his popularity), most of his stuff being released on Saturn Records or other small labels, and his personal style and philosophy sort of negated the idea of keeping good records, covering the details. At concerts The Arkestra reportedly sold hundreds of unlabelled LPs and from time to time there are stories of collectors finding these things in thrift stores and flea markets across the country. There are also incidents in which Ra is credited with playing on albums, but no one can figure out exactly what he is doing on said album (for instance, Sun Ra is credited with playing synthesizer on Billy Bang's Tribute to Stuff Smith but there is no synthesizer present on the recordings).

The discography attached to the wiki entry I linked to last time is grossly insufficient. Here is a link to a more comprehensive one, maintained by Saturn Web, a collection of scholars and journalists who, after the Arkestra itself, have done the best work in promoting and preserving Ra's legacy. The most comprehensive version of a Sun Ra discography, however, is an 850 page, $80 book called The Earthly Recordings of Sun Ra, written by Robert Campbell, a psychology professor from Clemson University. Plenty of collections and newly uncovered stuff has come out since Ra's death in 1993, and The Arkestra continues to put out music as well, which you can buy here.

If this post is as successful as the last one I'll do a third and fourth, and we can try to plow through these things together until we exhaust my collection. As I said before, though, I won't post stuff like The Futuristic Sounds of Sun Ra or We Travel the Spaceways because you should buy those things from your local record store (believe me, both The Arkestra and your local independent record store could really use your support these days). Also, if y'all are interested, I can do other avant garde jazz stuff as well.

Other Planes of There was recorded in 1964, just before the explosion of free jazz, and released two years later on Saturn Records. In the cannon of The Arkestra's work it isn't considered particularly groundbreaking or important but is nevertheless essential as it is a good representation of where Ra was heading with his music. It's here where Ra really starts to tinker with going "out there", relinquishing all of his bebop sensibilities and forging new ground, which would first be achieved....

....on The Magic City, released in 1966. This (of course) is all my opinion, and you're all welcome to disagree with me in the comments, but I think this is Ra's first real masterpiece. It's the first time The Arkestra is really unleashed, the first time they just blow the listener away with something so different, so alien from established ideas of how music should be played and how it should be listened to. It's named after the city of Birmingham, AL, which was Sun Ra's home during his childhood and teenage years. Apparently "The Magic City" was Birmingham's motto back in the 1950s. I've been there and have no idea why anyone would describe that horrid place as magical, but I'm guessing that Sun Ra knew something I didn't.

The most important thing to understand about Sun Ra is that while all of the "I'm from Saturn", "It's after the end of the world", Egyptian motifs and UFO stuff might seem hoaky and even hilarious, none of it was an act. Unlike a lot of other artists Sun Ra really believed all of the stuff he said, he wasn't using a gimmick. There was a philosophy and world view behind it, and when you listen to the music of The Arkestra you have to be willing to enter that world. It's also important to point out that Ra, and many members of The Arkestra, were incredibly gifted musicians who could have had long, successful careers in the mainstream, had they chosen to do so. Ra was so talented with a keyboard that I'll bet he would have totally rocked had he ever collaborated with this dude. Then again, knowing Mr Ra, there could be an album out there of the two kickin' it, we just haven't found it yet.

Other Planes of There
The Magic City

Tuesday, February 23, 2010


Captain Cob-bro already posted something about Arthur Brown a little while back, but I just felt like now would be a good time to step in with a quick follow up. By follow up, I mean giving you the amazing record that he was talking about: The Crazy World of Arthur Brown. Some of you may have done the digging and found the record on your own, but for the lazy readers who didn’t bother with a captaincrawl search, I just wanted to make sure everybody out there had at least a digital copy of this record on their hard drive. So here you go: take it.

Now I hate writing just as much as you hate reading so there is no point in me rambling on about a bunch of exceptionally interesting trivia I learned from his Wikipedia page. If you dig this record (you will), then you should read about the man (you should). I will say this though, I was turned on to AB through the father of a friend of mine. All he needed to say was that he saw AB open for Hendrix in the late sixties and that Arthur Brown completely tore the stage apart, showing up Hendrix in everyway. Later on AB was kicked off the tour, his performance simply too mind-melting to be followed up by anything even Jimi Hendrix could pull off. That was enough for me to go searching, and it’s been one of my all time fav’s ever since.

Need more convincing?

Also, Shelbert pointed out that AB might be the first person to use corpse paint (as a huge influence on Alice Cooper and Kiss, I believe he was. Although I think he referred to it as clown makeup, which is what we should be calling corpse paint). I just wanted to add that he’s also a very early pioneer of the metal scream, or epic wail. Besides, of course, Screaming Jay Hawkins (if you could call that a metal scream), AB predated Uriah Heep’s vocal prowess and even Ian Gillan’s involvement in Deep Purple. Now you could bring up Child and The Gods right here, but that would be another post entirely, delving into the first usage of skull splitting wailing in a proto-metal or heavy psych band. The point is, Arthur Brown did a lot to progress the evolution of the heavy rock scream, and if you ask me, he was one of the best at it (okay, there was Vanilla Fudge too, but their deal was just being better at everything than everybody so that barely counts). Actually, now that I’ve gone down this road, I’d ultimately have to give the crown to Roky Erickson circa 1966. But again, that’s another post…

Just get the record.


Known as one of the world's finest and most bizzare prank callers, Colorado's Longmont Potion Castle has been releasing full albums of conceptual prank calls inter-spliced with homemade death metal instrumentals and sound collage pieces since 1987. Now on his 7th volume, LPC has given us such classics as the Gomez call and the Chaka call to a live television doctor. I took some of the best calls from volumes 4, 5, 6 and 7 for this exclusive sampling of LPC's work, including a 12 minute opus prank call to one Edward "Eddie Money" Mahoney. If you dig this I suggest checking out the full albums. If you are interested in finding out more check out this great interview. He even discussed the effect he uses on his voice (Digitech RDS 8000)!

Download HERE

APOCALYPSE NOW (Or At Least Pretty Soon)

Since Day One of Illogical Contraption, the Large Hadron Collider has been something of an unofficial mascot around here, gracing the header we all see at the top of this page every time we stop in. The Collider "officially" opened just a few months before the creation of this blog, and I've always viewed the LHC as a testament to both the brilliance AND the foolishness in Man, a symbol of the technological wonders we can create together but also of the self-defeating God Complex we've developed as a race. In fact, I'll let you all in on a little secret: The term "illogical contraption" was originally meant as sort of an homage to the old beast, the ultimate tool of science which also has the potential for ultimate destruction.
All this being said, I haven't really written THAT much about the Large Hadron Collider. Browse the 'Tags' section over there on the right. Check out "LHC". 10 posts out of almost 1,000. Not much.

But in the words of a very wise old sage, "New shit has come to light here, man".

It all started with this article, written by a guy calling himself "The Bard of Ely" and discovered by myself while innocently researching LHC-inspired conspiracy theories. Grab onto something solid, because this is going to be quite a ride.

First off, The Bard hipped me to the fact that much like IC considers the LHC something of a mascot, so too does CERN (creators of the Collider) consider Hindu god Shiva as their "mascot" as well. Consider the image shown above. That's a statue of Shiva that stands outside of LHC HQ in Geneva. In this depiction, Shiva is assuming the Nataraja posture. Follow me so far? OK. Now let's see what Wikipedia says about all this:

"The depiction of Shiva as Nataraja (Tamil: நடராஜா, Sanskrit: naṭarāja, "Lord of Dance") is popular. The names Nartaka ("dancer") and Nityanarta ("eternal dancer") appear in the Shiva Sahasranama. His association with dance and also with music is prominent in the Puranic period. In addition to the specific iconographic form known as Nataraja, various other types of dancing forms (Sanskrit: nṛtyamūrti) are found in all parts of India, with many well-defined varieties in Tamil Nadu in particular. The two most common forms of the dance are the Tandava, which later came to denote the powerful and masculine dance as Kala-Mahakala associated with the destruction of the world, and Lasya, which is graceful and delicate and expresses emotions on a gentle level and is considered the feminine dance attributed to the goddess Parvati. Lasya is regarded as the female counterpart of Tandava. The Tandava-Lasya dances are associated with the destruction-creation of the world."

Grand Magus Omicron Oblongata signs the Book of Blood under the watchful gaze of a vengeful Shiva. Our fate is sealed.

So why the Shiva statue?
I understand the "creation of the world" part -- after all, one of the main goals of the entire LHC project is to recreate conditions at the time of The Big Bang (Remember the Higgs boson aka The God Particle aka The Schwarzenegger Particle?) -- but "DESTRUCTION"?!?!?! Whaaa?!?!?
Sure, Dan Brown has suggested that those creeps over at CERN might be up to some shady shit, and plenty of folks on the internet have their theories about apocalypse via Black Hole, but Dan Brown is a hack and internet people lie. We have no reason to distrust CERN. Do we?

Welcome to the second (and final) revelation made apparent to me by The Bard. Check out the official CERN logo over there. Anything strange?

I don't know how I didn't spot this one before.




Plain as day. The balls on these guys.

So let's see... "666". Apocalypse. Rapture. The Antichrist.
Is the LHC some sort of doomsday device created by the closet Illuminati running CERN? Of course. Fulfilling the 2012 End Times Prophecies? Yep. (learn how to survive 2012 HERE)
Confusing stuff, but maybe Pastor Harry at the "Philadelphia Internet Church" at (screencap below - apparently a very real and very serious site) can help you understand. There is indeed a 666/2012 connection, which Pastor Harry discovered using our old friend The Bible Code.

Pastor Harry knows what's up. I don't remember reading nothing about no black holes in The Bible. What the Hell?
If I'm gonna have me some paralyzing End Times fear there better be some Goddamned CHRISTIANITY involved!

In somewhat surprising concurrence is occult fringe writer Thomas Horn, who wrote Nephilim Stargates: The Year 2012 And The Return of the Watchers. According to Mr. Horn, what we have here is a Nephilim issue (no, not Nifelheim). And some Christians agree. But defining 'Nephilim' is a major grey area. Allow me to eloborate:

The Christian definition of 'Nephilim' (as I understand it) goes something like this: The sons of God (angels) came to Earth, and made babies with the daughters of men (humans - see below). These babies were giants, but God only let them hang out on Earth for 120 years. These were the Nephilim. After they were forced to leave, their bloodline went on, spawning heroes and other legendary leaders. In Genesis 6:4 it is said that "the Nephilim were on the Earth in those days - and also afterward." We'll come back to this.

The more "occult" and less widely accepted definition of 'Nephilim' is this: Motherfuckers were ALIENS, plain and simple. They came to Earth in their Nephilim Spaceship, but got stuck here and lost the technology to leave again. I find both theories to be equally credible.

Here's what everyone CAN agree on: The Nephilim -- whether they be half-breed angels OR stranded space aliens -- are stuck here, and for Mankind to achieve our next evolutionary level, they need to be set free. The question IS: "Next Evolutionary Level" = Enlightenment OR "Next Evolutionary Level" = Extinction? Tough call.
Either way, the Nephilim must be freed. But how?

Back to the beginning, my friends. THE LARGE HADRON COLLIDER.

Sounds like Stargate, right? Of course. And NOT on accident (see diagram, below).

So there you have it. The death and rebirth of all civilization, whether it be DOOM or RAPTURE, spelled out in letters as plain as day. "The Nephilim were on the Earth in those days - and also afterward." But what is "afterward"? It's obvious that CERN is up to some evil shit, but when the Nephilim (whoever they are) ascend to the stars (or Heavens) via the Large Hadron Collider, where will that leave US?

"We need Kurt Russell"

Further studies:

- 'Nephilim And The Cosmic Alignment of 2012'

- 'UFO's, The Nephilim and The Sons of God of Genesis 6 During The Days of Noah'

- Another helpful essay:
Part 1: 'Stargates, Wormholes And The Bearded Serpent Gods of All Major Religions'
Part 2: '2012: Stargate of the Gods'

I leave you with a quote that Oppenheimer borrowed from the Baghavad Gita when he first witnessed the destructive power of the atomic bomb:

"If the radiance of a thousand suns were to burst at once into the sky, that would be like the splendor of the mighty one. Now I am become Death, the destroyer of worlds."


Late 80's: Asbestos Death forms in San Jose, CA, comprised of Al Cisneros on bass and vocals, Matt Pike on guitar, Tom Choi on guitar, and Chris Hakius on drums.
1990: Choi leaves to form It Is I. Remaining Asbestos Death members recruit guitarist Justin Marler and rename the band Sleep. Marler later quits to join a monastery.
Mid-90's: Sleep breaks up. Pike forms the hugely successful High On Fire in 1998. Haikus and Cisneros form the drone metal band Om a couple years later.
2009: Sleep re-unites, etc. etc. etc.

So really, Asbestos Death was the protoplasmic ooze from which all of their further projects sprang. And the same spirit and sentiment that drives High On Fire and Om is indeed here, albeit in a far more primitive, raw, and malevolent form. This shit is fucking EPIC.
Also: 3 of the 4 songs contained on these records also appear on Sleep's Volume 1. Which you also need.

Call me an asshole, but I'll still take this over the new High on Fire anyday. Real talk.



Purchase the Southern Lord re-issue containing both 7"s HERE


LECHEROUS GAZE (members of Annihilation Time)

Thursday, March 5th. Eagle Tavern, SF.

Monday, February 22, 2010


Sod off, ye fuckin' wankers.


Purchase the Total Doom collection HERE




You are being controlled. You are being misinformed.
Everything you "know" has been planted inside you by a malevolent outside force. Can you define "reality"? Does "reality" define you?
I have seen behind the curtain, friends. Do you want to take a peek?

A link was provided during our discussion of The Hollow Earth. Perhaps you explored it. Perhaps, out of fear, you did not.
All I can do is offer an awakening.
For you are indeed asleep.

Do you dream?

Cyrax and Flyrax channel overview:

Cyrax and Flyrax on the benefit of wearing tinfoil hats:

Cyrax and Flyrax on Nazi flying saucers:

Cyrax and Flyrax explain Roswell:

Cyrax and Flyrax welcome you to Innsmouth:

Cyrax and Flyrax explain how the "moon landing" was produced by Walt Disney:

Cyrax and Flyrax invite you to join The New Seekers/The Brotherhood of Atlantis:

Cyrax and Flyrax introduce us to Reptaloids in Part 3 of the 50-part 'Real Aliens' series:

Cyrax and Flyrax address trolls and haters:

Cyrax and Flyrax bring it all "full circle" - Hitler was in it with the aliens all along!:

The truth is NOT "out there". The truth is IN HERE.