VONDUR - THE GALACTIC ROCK 'N' ROLL EMPIRE (1996)

You guys remember Vondur from last Saturday's post on "Star Wars Metal" (right), correct? No? Well, Aesop from Cosmic Hearse did, and in an entirely unprecedented Bro-Move uploaded their follow-up EP, The Galactic Rock 'N' Roll Empire for me, including scans of the amazing artwork that adorns said album. And believe me, it's a doozy.
Rock 'N' Roll Empire was a huge cream pie in the corpsepainted face of Black Metal, a ridiculous, forehead-slappingly stupid, brilliant piece of audio satire from two respected musicians in the genre. How stupid and brilliant, you ask? Well, have you ever heard a Black Metal band do a relatively faithful cover of Judas Priest's "Rocka Rolla"? Or Motley Crue's "Red Hot"? How about an awesome, blast-beat laden re-imagining of Elvis Presley's "Love Me Tender" (quite possibly my new favorite song)? No? Well now you can, along with the last track (and final nail in the coffin), "The Raven's Eyes Are As Mirrors On The Bottom Of Satan's Black Halls", which consists of nothing but a distorted open E played over a drum machine blast beat for 3 minutes, accompanied by some shrieking "vocals".
While this EP is obviously a big fat joke, it is also somehow a very satisfying listen, vicious and grinding in the best possible way. Goofy as fuck, yes, but I highly recommend checking it out.
Consider it further proof that Cosmic Hearse's sloppy seconds are still better than anything on this lame-ass blog. Big ups, Aesop.

Download HERE

Below: "All" as "All-vis Presley".



"It" as Mick Mars:



More All-vis:



The awesome back cover: