APOCRYPHON SPRING DATES 2013

- THURSDAY, MARCH 21ST, @ DNA LOUNGE, SAN FRANCISCO
W/ LANDMINE MARATHON
MAN AMONG WOLVES
AT OUR HEELS

- FRIDAY, MARCH 29TH, @ ON THE Y, SACRAMENTO
W/ FACINOROUS
FIENDS AT FEAST
EMBODIED TORMENT
FALL OF MAN

- SATURDAY, MARCH 30TH @ JOHNNY V'S, SAN JOSE
W/ CYANIC
FIENDS AT FEAST
+1 MORE TBA

- FRIDAY, APRIL 12TH @ HEMLOCK, SAN FRANCISCO
W/ HAZZARD'S CURE
NECROT

- FRIDAY, APRIL 26TH-SATURDAY, APRIL 27TH: "FESTUM CARNIS", SODA SPRINGS, CA
W/ ABSU (!!!)
GRAVEHILL/WITCHAVEN/NOCTURNAL FEAR
NUCLEAR DESECRATION/VALDUR/HELLHUNTER
BADR VOGU/MINENWERFER/ROTTEN FUNERAL
NIGHT NURSE/BLACK FUCKING CANCER/HUMAN FILTH
VILE MASS/CYANIC/BLASPHEMOUS CREATION
TEMPLE OF DAGON/MALEFICUS/HELLBOMBER
HEMOTOXIN/XENOTAPH/DEMON SEED
VALLEY OF THORNS/ARCHEA/ More TBA...

- THURSDAY, MAY 2ND @ THE SHANTY, EUREKA, CA
W/ BANDS TBA

- FRIDAY, MAY 3RD IN SEATTLE, WA
VENUE AND BANDS TBA

- SATURDAY, MAY 4TH @ ASH STREET SALOON, PORTLAND, OR
W/ BANDS TBA

Split album (+ vinyl!) and new shirts on the way soon! Catch updates via Apocryphon's Facebook page...

PS: ILLOGICAL CONTRAPTION IS NOT DEAD. Complete re-design and re-launch coming in the very near future! Any and all brogrammers, artists, writers, or other assorted freaks looking to toil under the IllCon banner for little or no reward (especially brogrammers) write to Cobras at illogicalcontraption(at)yahoo(dot)com. ALL I ASK IS THAT YOU OBEY ME AND I WILL BE YOUR SLAVE.

Abomination - Abomination (1990)

Every once in a blue moon I come across something that I totally did not expect to find. With all do respect, the record stores within the area I live lack and have lacked with regards to selection, particularly metal. On occasion when The Works still had a location here in Arcata (they consolidated into one store in Eureka) I'd come across something awesome, like the first four Iron Maiden with Dickinson on vinyl, but usually it was the same old CDs, records, and tapes I had already listened to and or sold to them. One could easily try to order something but often it took forever to come in and usually one could find it cheaper online. That's why when I visit San Francisco I make a valiant attempt to visit Amoeba Records, often getting lost within the bins and three hours later walking out the door a couple hundred dollars less.

Now, it's not to say that there isn't that rare opportunity that one does happen across here in my hometown. Such was the case last Monday when I went into Missing Link Records. Missing Link opened about three to four years ago and remained an enigma of sorts in part due to their original location being off on a side street near downtown in a quaint building but also at the time we had three other record stores, now we have only two and Missing Link has helped fill the shoes of the other two after they closed their doors. It took me the better part of a year to summon up enough curiosity to actually check the store out but since then I've been surprised at what I've been able to find in there! Now I know half the people associated with the store and as I was headed by the shop while running some errands last Monday, I figured I'd swing in...

Now they have a very small selection of LPs, CDs, tapes, comics, and random knick-knacks but looks are deceiving. It didn't take me long to discover this particular gem though: Abomination - Tragedy Strikes.

I was blown away by seeing it there. It was an original pressing to boot and in surprisingly good condition. Their sound is straight forward, old-school death/thrash from Chicago, Illinois. Their sound is quite fitting for the time of release (early '90s). Imagine the best of early Death, Morbid Angel, and Obituary with a peppering of Death Strike and a light salting of early Slayer. Then again, what the hell do I know?! I say tomato, you say tomato. Anyways...

Apparently, the band is still 'active' but have not released anything since Tragedy Strikes which was released in '91. Also knowing that Paul Speckman of Master/Death Strike fame is involved, it has to rule right?! And ruling, yes it does.

I had heard Abomination years ago through a friend of mine and was thoroughly impressed. I often stumbled upon a CD of theirs in the used bins at certain record stores or on Ebay but for whatever I never actually picked up a copy of any of their albums. Not sure why. Their self-titled debut slays so when I stumbled upon Tragedy Strikes, I figured the metal gods were telling me something and that I should pick up the LP regardless of the cost. And I am quite grateful I did! While Tragedy Strikes is not as good as Abomination itself, it is still a great album. So with that in mind, I took it upon myself to scour the internet for some sort of downloadable link and or used copy for the first album, Abomination, and I was surprised to notice a lack thereof. I had to fulfill my need and find me a copy of Abomination and while both albums were eventually rereleased as a compilation last year, nothing beats the originals. So after a painstaking search, I finally located the self-titled album and as a token of my gratitude I've uploaded a link for you to enjoy yourself!

Cheers!

 Get it Here

Encyclopaedia Metallum

THIS IS YOUR FINAL WARNING

ATTENTION, ASSHOLES:

If you dwell in the Pacific Northwest, your attendance is MANDATORY at any of the three "heavy metal concerts" listed above. Mention the code word "Mantlers" and be bought a drink by our extremely wealthy drummer! Don't miss out! We are surprisingly genial and well-mannered dudes!
Let's rock and/or roll!

...And Then Comes Lividity (1990)

Holy bat shit biscuits! It's been a while since I have graced the mighty IllCon halls with my presence. My deepest of apologies! Scheiße! This month has flown by. Really it has. A lot, I mean A LOT of shit has gone down in the last month: finals, The Legendary Boonville Beerfest, family memorials, visiting my old man, random drunken excursions in the City, brewing adult beverages, and getting back on air... 

Yes, you heard correctly! I recently got accepted into the ranks of local pirate-radio station 99.9 FM HFRA! I am now a genuine pirate it appears and I intend to sail the seas of cheese without abandon. It has been several years since I have been on air. Some of those out there may remember my stint at KHSU-FM (90.5) here in Arcata and if so, you'll remember the ridiculousness of that endeavor: staying up Friday night, consuming massive amounts of coffee and snickers bars, cueing up my show, hitting the air waves at 3am Saturday morning, and then making the arduous journey back "home" at the break of dawn only to officially go to bed at 7:30am and waking up at 1pm for band practice... Ah! Those were the days! How I miss them (minus the 3am part). Nothing is set in stone yet for when my show will be but it will undoubtedly be great. I intend to play a little bit of everything, focusing mainly on metal, classic rock, and the occasional blues album or two. Barring that I can figure out how to, I will try to set up a podcast or record it somehow so y'all can listen for yourselves. Seeing as my last time on air via IllCon Radio was a drunken disaster, I have some redeeming to do on my end... So stay tuned, and don't touch that dial!

In other news, I've been drinking a fair amount. I have tried many a new brew in the past month including my own, which is still fermenting, and I'll have a couple posts coming soon in relation to brew-reviews, hopefully... Also, there's several shows coming up! Namely, Shelby and Co. are making a return to E-town for a show and the bros from MIASMIC are opening! APOCRYPHON slayed the last time they were up here so I'm definitely looking forward to this show. Last I checked, MIASMIC's CD was still at Amoeba Records in SF, and I've been told it was at the store in Los Angeles as well. So go pick yourself up a copy of their debut or contact the band directly.
Also, legendary stalwarts LOCUST FURNACE are opening for PHALGERON this Friday, June 22nd. LOCUST FURNACE are pretty reliable. They have been around for the better part of 15 years now and I'm told they have new material (for once!). PHALGERON were solid the last time I saw them play here. So if you're in the Humboldt area this Friday, you can check them out alongside MADHAMMER (another local band) at the 'Lil Red Lion in Eureka...
Lastly, I recently got a email from MediaFire saying that one of the files I have uploaded via the site has been pulled due to copyright issues. The file "Almost Heathen.zip" has been suspended. Sorry for the inconvenience but I'm glad a few hundred of you out there got the chance to check it out before they pulled it. It took me years to locate a copy of it in replacement for my original and my intentions with my contributions here at IllCon are simply to give readers the chance to hear new and rare tunes. I do not intend to violate any applicable laws nor try to attract the wrong kind of attention. I'm still not sure on all the details but I may have to begin posting more obscure, less-available stuff on here...

So as a token of my apologies, and with the aforementioned, I present you with this somewhat rare slab of maggot-infested metempsukhosis (or whatever that is).

Enjoy! 

Download

Buy

Metallum / Last.FM

I'M GOING TO STEAL THE DECLARATION OF INDEPENDENCE

OK, maybe not.

I'm way too busy for such shenanigans, what with all my sweet guest appearances on heavy-metal-and-conspiracy-themed podcasts (OH HEY, did I mention that the "Illogical Conspiracy" episode of Metal Injection's Hand Ov Doom--featuring Yours Truly--is up now?), tours, forays in the IllCon clothing line, and the impending move from SF to Oakland... Shit, I've hardly got time to brush my teeth, much less accompany Extraterrestrial Nic Cage on his next adventure through the catacombs of subterranean Washington, D.C., searching for hidden messages in the text of ancient documents.

But long story short: The Apocryphon show in Arcata (Vallejo got cancelled--long story) was a fucking blast (see photos below for evidence), and thanks to all the die-hards who showed up. Dates are solid on our next Northwest tour, more on that in a second.

Now is the part where I devolve into an extended period of shameless self-promotion. Apologies in advance:

THIS SUNDAY, APRIL 29TH @ HEMLOCK, SF:

BADR VOGU

PRIZE HOG

APOCRYPHON

and motherfucking AUTHOR AND PUNISHER! Get a load of what this guy is all about:

What a freak.

Then, the following Friday, @ The First Church of The Buzzard in Oakland:

THE HAUNTING PRESENCE

MUKNAL

SUTEKH HEXEN

CRUCIFIXION (impossible to Google)

APOCRYPHON

Be there.

Then Apocryphon plays with Cerebrate (from Eureka) and Bone Sickness (ex-Funerot, Olympia, WA) at The Elbo Room Saturday, May 19th.

Then the mighty DALTON has a show at an art opening for our pal Ben Venom (remember him?) at Guerrero Gallery in SF with our bros Hazzard's Cure on June 9th.

Then Dalton is playing an epic "Rock and Roll Bro-B-Q/Fucking In Tents Fest" camp-out type thing in Half Moon Bay with Total BS (they're a Bob Seger cover band), Beer Drinkers and Hell Raisers (they're a Zed Zed Topp cover band), Chablis, Bar Fight, and Girl Problems on June 16th. We might even get a mechanical bull for this one. Seriously.

Then Apocryphon is playing in Eureka Thursday, June 28th (local bands and venue TBA).

Then Apocryphon is playing at Slabtown in Portland Friday, June 29th (local bands TBA).

Then Apocryphon is playing The Kraken (formerly Galway Arms) in Seattle Saturday, June 30th (local bands TBA).

And then...

That's right, motherfuckers. Apocryphon with Anhedonist, Grave Miasma, Vastum, and fucking DEAD CONGREGATION at the Oakland Metro Friday, July 6th.

More summer shows to be announced in the near future. Meanwhile...

Check out IllCon Radio tonight for an interview with the porn-soaked YouTube enigma known as The Spelunker, whose Smut Cave videos were previously featured on the blog RIGHT HERE. Tune in to FCCFreeRadio.com at 10 pm PST, and J.O. into the vortex with us!

"unfortunately terms like 'tin foil hats' may be amusing but serve the purpose to discredit conspiracies before fact 1 has even been looked at. Well done for being patronising (sacracsm)"

- some guy commenting on my episode of Hand Ov Doom

T-SHIRTS, TOURS, DOOM, ETC... (The IllCon Empire Never Sleeps)

ATTENTION HESSIAN MINIONS: ILLOGICAL CONTRAPTION NEEDS YOUR HELP!

First off, you can "help out" ol' Uncle Cobras by tuning in to the Hand Ov Doom show on Emerson College radio tonight, where I'll be appearing to discuss conspiracy theories, metal, conspiracy theories in metal, and all things great and small pertaining to the IllCon Universe. The show streams live 5-7pm PST (that's 8-10 EST, dummies) right HERE, then goes up in podcast form (via Metal Injection.com) right HERE. While you're at it, why don't you "help out" Metal Injection too, by heading over to iTunes and subscribing to their entire podcast roster, which includes not only Hand Ov Doom but a veritable multitude of excellent metal-oriented broadcasts as well: Metal Injection podcasts on iTunes!

Secondly, we implore the more artistically-minded amongst our dear readers and listeners to help us out with yet another podcast/radio-related item--of course, I'm speaking of the IllCon Radio T-Shirt Design Contest!
This really cool bro from Rochester, NY's own HTB Press has put an offer on the table in regards to producing some IC Radio-themed garb, and we're fully stoked on making it happen. The only problem: WE SUCK AT DRAWING THINGS. Can you draw good? Are you a fan of the show? Would you be interested in seeing your very own alien-smoking-a-bong-on-the-back-of-a-unicorn design emblazoned on the front of an IllCon Radio shirt, and would you be psyched to receive said shirt, for FREE, in the mail? Well shit, dude. The address is illogicalcontraption(at)yahoo(dot)com. What the fuck are you waiting for? We'll accept sketches, written ideas, scribbles on bar napkins... Whatever. Let's do this.

Thirdly (and most important): Let's hook up some Apocryphon dates for this summer! If you're an Illogical Contraption reader, you're also undoubtedly an Apocryphon listener, so how 'bout you help out your favorite psychedelic deathgrind homies with a couple tips on booking West Coast dates? We've only got a couple small windows of opportunity to get out of town this June, and the specific dates we're looking to book are as follows:

- Thursday, June 7th: Eureka/Arcata, CA
- Friday, June 8th: Portland, OR
- Saturday, June 9th: Seattle, WA

- Friday, June 22nd: Los Angeles, CA
- Saturday, June 23rd: San Diego, CA

Do you live in any of these places? Where are all the metal-friendly venues and easy women? Who has the cheapest booze? WE WANT TO PARTY WITH YOU. Let's make it happen!
Again, illogicalcontraption(at)yahoo(dot)com, or check us out (if you haven't already) on Bandcamp/Facebook/Last.FM. (Groovy DALTON news coming up in June as well, stay tuned...)

Speaking of epic tours:


This Friday...


Apocryphon is slated to devastate "The Dank Room" in Vallejo on 4/20, along with Short Fuse, Ill Content, Viral, and ZombieDeathFuck (Newtdick dropped off this one). Facebook "event page" HERE.

Then, Saturday:


Back up to the 'ol hometown (namely The Alibi in Arcata) for a night of cacophonous, sludgy, schizophrenic chaos with our best bros Hazzard's Cure. NOT TO BE MISSED.


Thanks again for your encouragement and support in all things IllCon. We'll be seeing you out on the road soon!

Live Report! SPELL OF BLOOD tour: Sacrament Ov Impurity, Blood Etchings, Miasmic, and Vellum at the Lil Red Lion, Eureka CA

Holy shit! I'm still recovering from this show, I think. Thursday night's gig at the Lil Red Lion in Eureka, CA (Cobras' favorite town!) was friggin' awesome! And that isn't the booze talking! Yet... It is rare to see a show up here in the Arcata/Eureka area of this caliber. I mean we'll get maybe one or two of these bands but not all four! Here in Humboldt County I've witnessed a few heavyweights pass through on their way to SF or Portland while on tour, namely Embryonic Devourment, Vile, Decrepit Birth, High On Fire, WITTR, Vektor, Nachtmystium, Earth, Skeletonwitch among others. We even have a few metal bands here that are of worthy note: Locust Furnace, Miasmic, Ash Borer, Cerebrate, Unholy Crucifix, and Sadistic Hallucinations but to get a tour coming through here - or any metal band to play for that matter - is amazing to say the least! The bands that played Thursday weren't necessarily huge but they each have their own following and deserve mentioning.

So without going into a long, laborious and detailed account of the show, I will simply post some brief info on each band. You can check them out further on your own.

FYI: Currently Sacrament Ov Impurity and Blood Etchings are wrapping up their tour tomorrow at the SUB-Mission in SF. No they're not these guys... and no, they're not these guys either, but they're solid musicians and if you like going to shows at smaller venues and you happen to be in SF tomorrow evening, I would recommend checking them out.

So first things first, MIASMIC rules. Period. They spawned from the ashes of an old band I used to be in up here, morphing from an embryo of mixed ideas into a formidable juggernaut. I don't have a link to download any of their material yet but plan to do a proper review of them soon enough! In the mean time go check them out, befriend them on Facebook, and immerse yourself in the Redwood Darkness that is MIASMIC!

Facebook / Metallum

***

VELLUM hail from the LA area and are good friends of Miasmic. They are an obscure band with little info out there on them but they have solid intentions. Rumor has it that they literally drove up from LA to Eureka just to support Miasmic - apparently is was their first gig even! Talk about dedication! Having recently lost their drummer, Iishtok from Miasmic filled in on the kit despite literally only having a week or two to learn their material... Despite this and time constraints, it was an epic set! Hopefully we'll be hearing more of them soon!

Facebook

***

BLOOD ETCHINGS were interesting. They were menacing. A bit rough around the edges perhaps. They were engaging enough to hold my interest at least. They had a bit of an attitude that I could have done without but they had several worthy songs. They label themselves as "Black Baroque Metal". Definitely had a black/death vibe going at times but shit, at that point the last gin & tonic I had been drinking began to catch up to me so my account is a bit fuzzy.

Facebook

***

SACRAMENT OV IMPURITY stole the show. Simple as that. They recently lost their bassist/vocalist. I had the opportunity to purchase and download their debut two weeks ago prior to the show so I was already familiar with their material. There were subtle differences, especially where the bass should have been and the change of vocals but they held it down. They played a solid set to a small but solid crowd. Despite not understanding a single word she was saying, Naphula was one hell of an intimidating vocalist - and that is coming from a vocalist! (she was pretty hot also but that may have been the booze talking)

Metallum / Facebook

Official Website

***

As mentioned, Blood Etchings and Sacrament Ov Impurity are wrapping up their tour tomorrow in SF. If you live in or near the City, I recommend going and checking it out.

...for those curious, I am compiling a list of songs from these bands and others as a mix of sorts for y'all in which I plan to feature in a subsequent post at a later date...

Disincarnate - Dreams of the Carrion Kind (1993)

James Murphy. James Motherfucking Murphy... I mean, who hasn't heard of this guy yet?! I recently ran into an old acquaintance of mine who's into the metal scene up here in Humboldt County. We shot the shit, eventually discussing influential guitarists. In turn I mentioned James Murphy. For the life of me he had never heard of the dude! Dude?! He's only been in a few seminal metal bands right? Only bands like Agent Steel, Cancer, Death, Konkhra, Obituary, and Testament. He's appeared as a guest on several genre defining albums and even put out two of his own records under his own name! I know what you're asking: So what? Big deal! Eh, he's no Yngwie Malmsteen or Joe Satriani. Phhht! Blah, blah, blah...



Umm... yeah. Well... Anyways, in my opinion he's better than that! I mean don't get me wrong on Mr. Perpetual Flame or The Extremist, I like both musicians and have respect for them, but we're talking about death metal here not flame-metal. So in light of Cobra's most recent post in the spirit of OSDM (i.e. Oppressor), I present you with this fine slab of blood-drenched, soul-eroding, old-school brutal Death Metal. Its basically as close as you are going to get to a "masterpiece" in this genre!

I remember the first time I heard this record... I was partially drunk, stoned, amped up on caffeine and sugar (possibly coming down from some recent acid trip), prepping for my show on KHSU-FM (which aired between 3-6am Saturday mornings). I had just finished putting together the playlist and was just about to take over the mic when I decided to return some CDs and records that didn't fit into my program that morning to their proper graveyards in the studio. Since I am short (i.e. not very "tall" as they say) and thus found myself precariously standing on an old rickety step ladder, I was in the throes of replacing the last handful of albums I had pulled when I inadvertently knocked this stubborn CD off the shelf. Fortunately I caught it just in time! It must have been fate, or karma, or some fucked up bullshit, otherwise it would have fallen to the floor which was cement, breaking the jewel case (they still make those right?), and likely throwing the CD across into the cavernous corner of that section of the studio (and in the process scratching the hell out of it)... So I stumbled across this record. It was on Roadrunner. It was grim looking with obscure artwork. It had a cool name. So I gave it a brief spin in the back room. Needless to say, I was blown out of my suds-and-buds daze upon first listen! I immediately aired it as soon as I could get it on-air. It actually got some callers to call in from Eureka - mainly those too cracked out to fall asleep and apparently had nothing better to do at that time of the day - but they requested a whole onslaught of OSDM that morning. Man, that show sure rocked! But this album blew me out of the water! I even put it on twice that morning! No joke.

So with this album now "reissued in 2004 by Roadrunner, 2006 by Metal Mind, and 2007 by Displeased" according to Metal-Archives, it isn't as hard to find as it was, say ten years ago, but I figured since this is my first post, I'd do it proper justice in hailing an album that was both considered one of the best of the best as well as ahead of its time. It even has a 100% rating on Encyclopaedia Metallum (shhh! don't tell anyone!). It's technical, brutal, swift, precise, and deadly. "Monarch of the Sleeping Marches" has some of the most memorable riffing Murphy has laid down on record. Supposedly Disincarnate were going to release new material recently but alas they're "on hold"... I'm curious if this has anything to do with the recent recurrence of the tumor he was diagnosed with back in 2001. Hopefully Murphy has a safe and speedy recovery!

Download here or Buy here

Hey look, another new addition to the IllCon Team! Aegipan and I share the distinct misfortune of both putting down roots in the Humboldt County area at one time or another, and our acquaintanceship/correspondence has been long and fruitful. His knowledge of metal runs nearly as deep as my own (JUST KIDDING but no, it is pretty deep), and his thirst for both truth and alcohol are legendary amongst the Northmen. His recommendations and/or donations have made for many a previous IllCon post, what a joy, then, to finally have him in our ranks! HAIL.

- Cobras

Why I Left Humboldt County

This is where I'm from.



This is also why I don't smoke weed.

Sorry for neglecting the blog, preparation for this weekend's festivities (see below) have me swamped. If you're in the Yay Area, come out and fist bump me this Saturday/Sunday.

BALLS WILL BE SHREDDED

KRABATHOR - COOL MORTIFICATION (1993)

90's Death Metal Week, Part 7

The final album in our (almost) week-long 90's DM journey is one that I hold near and dear to my heart, an early release from the Czech Republic's own resident Hessians KRABATHOR. This band has always been the pet project of one Petr "Christopher" Krystof (right), and has been populated by a revolving cast of hired-gun musicians since its birth in 1988. But I was lucky enough to catch these guys in a club the size of my living room in Eureka, California, about a decade ago, while Krabathor counted amongst their ranks the Bearded Behemoth, bassist/vocalist Paul Speckmann. If you are not already familiar with the Speckmann legacy, his body of work and reputation throughout the decades, you are a bag full of tools. There's no two ways about it.

Needless to say, the show was fucking EPIC in the fullest and most resounding sense of the word, and afterwards I instantly set out to locate the entire back catalog of this crushing colossus of sonic sorcery. As it turns out, I actually came to prefer Krabathor's pre-Speckmann (pre-1999) recorded work over their newer stuff, and as the years wore on, I found myself gravitating toward Cool Mortification more and more often.

I dunno. I've seen my share of bands live, but there's something about being face-to-face in cramped quarters with a group of dudes from halfway around the planet, boozed to the gills and banging your head in a universal catharsis that defies language or cultural difference. For some reason, I still feel a strange personal connection with Krabathor, and every time I put on one of their albums it feels like the return of an old friend. Overly sentimental? Probably. But generic Eastern European death metal does that to me.

Download HERE

Metallum/Last.FM

Speaking of Jesus Metal...

Nostalgia will make you do funny things. Speaking from a purely personal viewpoint, pure, unadulterated nostalgia will cause strange behavior, such as downloading (and subsequently listening to) such hindsight-tarnished nuggets as NOFX, Voodoo Glow Skulls, or even Weezer's first album. Such nostalgia will also cause you (read as: "me") to listen to the TOTALLY RAD FUCKING JESUS JAMS OF BARREN CROSS!
When I first encountered Barren Cross' 1986 Xtian opus Rock For The King in the back room of some Saint Vinnie's in downtown Eureka in the mid-90's, I was immediately blown away by not only their awesome haircuts and sweet blue-and-white spandex outfits (crucifixes and handcuffs? Kinky!), but their lyric sheet as well. Barren Cross love Jesus, to be sure, but their odd fixation on Jesus-as-substitute-for-weed is what REALLY caused me to fork over the 50 cents and bring this sucker home. This is a band unafraid to belt out such controversial phrases as "Better than pot, Jesus rocks / Come and believe!" or invite you to "Smoke on his love!"
The Thing posted some actually-pretty-awesome-and-not-ironic Xtian metal jams this morning (XINR), but from ongoing conversations in the comments section and elsewhere, it is apparent that our tastes diverge when the elements of cheese and silliness are introduced. I like corny, ridiculous metal. The Thing does not. Harbor no futile hopes about Barren Cross being an actual, substantial, talented band. They are silly as fuck. Sorry dude.

FUCK IT, WORSHIP JESUS.
(dl)

Tribute website. Fuck yeah bro.