Drop what you're doing and check out this video. If you have any taste, you'll watch the entire thing, but pay special attention from 4:20 on. At 5:00, Gibby pulls one of the most awesome moves I've ever seen. Shit is real, son.
6 hours ago
Showing posts with label Exploding Heads. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Exploding Heads. Show all posts
Thursday, March 29, 2012
Monday, January 30, 2012
COIN-OP MEMORIES PART 1
If my parents had a list of things I shouldn't have spent my hard earned paper round money on then arcade games where public enemy number one when I was a child. Even more so than comics and records! I could happily piss away a whole weeks wage ( back then, that was a lot) inside of an hour at any number of amusement arcades dotted around my home town. I have always believed the appeal was the fact that you believed you would never see these games on your home computer, couple that with the amount of violence and the prison-art-therapy artwork adorning most of the machines casings and you had a sure thing when it came to relieving young people of money.
I recently spent a bit of time messing around with a MAME emulator and revisiting some of these games. Suffice to say, it becomes obvious you were not designed to complete most on a single credit. A few have held up pretty well while others still hold a small corner of my memory hostage. Following my research, these are my sure fire, revisit, classic arcade cash devourers.
Cadillacs & Dinosaurs not only combined all manner of awesome things ( dinosaurs, cool cars, guns, post-apocalyptic story and girls) to appeal to a young man, but it also managed to keep me going back time after time. Despite being Mark Schultz's Xenozoic Tales bolted to the Final Fight game system, Cadillacs & Dinosaurs held my attention for years. You had guns! Final Fight didn't have those. You could kick the shit out of dinosaurs! Final Fight couldn't do that.
The story had you fighting off poachers, mutants, bikers and various nasty types from messing with the balance of nature. That didn't really matter to me. The clincher was halfway through the first stage, being able to blast someone out of a window with a shotgun before punching a Rock Hopper (Raptor. None of the dinosaurs go by their real names) in the face outside in an alley! Throw in being able to smash through bikers and barrels in a car and I was sold. My pockets rapidly emptied.
A.B. Cop (1990)
Long before you could take cover with a fancy foot pedal in Time Crisis and such games, rail shooters gave you a big machine gun and threw waves of enemies at you. Beast Busters ( from the ever reliable SNK stable) was always the game I saw in arcades but never managed to actually play as they always seemed to place Operation Wolf or Rambo 3 in my way as a distraction. Luckily, I found a flea pit on a family outing that only had assorted pinball tables, Asteroids and Beast Busters. No contest really, sorry Asteroids.
The wafer thin plot had you as gun nuts trying to escape a zombie infested city. Gun toting zombies at that. Pretty ahead of its time stuff? The gore was a major factor in how cool I thought this game was. Enemies exploded in blood and bone pieces, green slime was everywhere, they had zombie bikers, Jason like hockey masked monsters and then along came the absurd bosses! A driverless Jeep that shoots missiles before coming alive! A typical 80's street punk that transforms into a massive dog! A floating eye made of bodies! Next level shit for any kid. Even the soundtrack was sweet.
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I recently spent a bit of time messing around with a MAME emulator and revisiting some of these games. Suffice to say, it becomes obvious you were not designed to complete most on a single credit. A few have held up pretty well while others still hold a small corner of my memory hostage. Following my research, these are my sure fire, revisit, classic arcade cash devourers.
Cadillacs & Dinosaurs (1992)
Cadillacs & Dinosaurs not only combined all manner of awesome things ( dinosaurs, cool cars, guns, post-apocalyptic story and girls) to appeal to a young man, but it also managed to keep me going back time after time. Despite being Mark Schultz's Xenozoic Tales bolted to the Final Fight game system, Cadillacs & Dinosaurs held my attention for years. You had guns! Final Fight didn't have those. You could kick the shit out of dinosaurs! Final Fight couldn't do that.
That's what you think dick neck.
The story had you fighting off poachers, mutants, bikers and various nasty types from messing with the balance of nature. That didn't really matter to me. The clincher was halfway through the first stage, being able to blast someone out of a window with a shotgun before punching a Rock Hopper (Raptor. None of the dinosaurs go by their real names) in the face outside in an alley! Throw in being able to smash through bikers and barrels in a car and I was sold. My pockets rapidly emptied.
Ignore the System of A Down tune at the beginning, Some people have a nerve.
A.B. Cop (1990)
AB Cop was the easiest of my childhood arcade adventures. Being as I once managed to complete it on a single credit, sadly there was no one to witness my amazing skill on that fateful day in a derelict amusement arcade in Blackpool. AB ( Air bike, air biscuit) Cop took the Hang On template of third person, full immersion racing ( you had a bike to lean left and right on, or if your arcade was cheap they just had the cabinet with handle bars ) and added enemies to battle. The levels all took the same route, ram various nasty biker types before confronting the boss. You then had to use your turbo charge to jump and smash him off the road to complete the level and get a satisfying thumbs up from your rider.
The main appeal of AB Cop was the difficulty scale. It was so easy to have a single credit and get through about 3 levels before you had to dive into your pocket for a follow up go. Once you worked out the main tactic for dealing with every boss ( jump, turbo charge. steer left/right, repeat) you could rampage through the whole game on a single credit. Of course the appeal of showing off to all and sundry in the arcade by reaching the completion screen of any game was impossible to ignore. No matter how easy said game was.
BEAST BUSTERS (1989)
Long before you could take cover with a fancy foot pedal in Time Crisis and such games, rail shooters gave you a big machine gun and threw waves of enemies at you. Beast Busters ( from the ever reliable SNK stable) was always the game I saw in arcades but never managed to actually play as they always seemed to place Operation Wolf or Rambo 3 in my way as a distraction. Luckily, I found a flea pit on a family outing that only had assorted pinball tables, Asteroids and Beast Busters. No contest really, sorry Asteroids.
The wafer thin plot had you as gun nuts trying to escape a zombie infested city. Gun toting zombies at that. Pretty ahead of its time stuff? The gore was a major factor in how cool I thought this game was. Enemies exploded in blood and bone pieces, green slime was everywhere, they had zombie bikers, Jason like hockey masked monsters and then along came the absurd bosses! A driverless Jeep that shoots missiles before coming alive! A typical 80's street punk that transforms into a massive dog! A floating eye made of bodies! Next level shit for any kid. Even the soundtrack was sweet.
It had 3 f**king guns!
Party Bus
Thanks to the wonders of MAME technology you can enjoy all these titles from the comfort of your own home. You don't have to worry about all those dodgy, blatantly criminal looking dudes that used to hang around arcades, you don't have to worry about putting your hand in the never clean ashtray that adorned pretty much every machine and you don't have to worry about any bigger boys coming along and shoving you over while you where playing. The world of arcade gaming is far less dangerous these days.
P.S. If anyone can help to hook me up with any of the soundtracks to these games or other arcade classics then that would be sweet.
Part 2 to follow.
Tuesday, June 28, 2011
A CONSPIRACY TO END ALL CONSPIRACIES: The Stanggressive Hyperbole of Alex Jones Finally Dovetails Into Undeniable Truth
ATTENTION SHEEPLE!
The biggest news story of the year just broke, and chances are you haven't heard a goddamn thing about it. This is HUGE, nigh unto Earth-shattering. I want you to watch the following video very, very closely, for it holds the key to our collective future as a cohesive human civilization.
Behold:
PS: "Stanggressive" = "Stupid" + "Angry" + "Aggressive".
Now, I'm no friend of Alex Jones. I thought his infiltration of the Bohemian Grove Owl Orgies was pretty cool, but beyond that, his Limbaugh-esque demeanor and penchant for unneccesary shouting has kept me away. He's a douche, long story short, and, like fellow circus barker Glenn Beck, makes up for lack of substance with an overabundance of volume.
But HOLY SHIT has he blown this one wide open.
I'm sure we're all aware of the Bilderberg Group already, but the revelation that these power-hungry Illuminati overlords are controlled by multi-dimensional aliens via DMT vision-quests? Fucking Hell! Where's the CNN coverage? MSNBC? The Daily Show?
Anything?
Jones' assertation that Dimethyltryptamine hallucinations guide the major power decisions made by the ruling financial elite is nothing short of a total revelation for society as we know it, and the fact that mainstream media has ignored the story only strengthens its case. The shape-shifting DMT "machine elves" that Jones refers to in the above video are the true manipulators of all the major media outlets, after all, hence their total silence on the matter.
But let's take a minute to discuss these "elves". Originally popularized by psychedelic guru Terence McKenna (left), these multi-dimensional creatures choose to communicate via drugs like ayahuasca (which contains Dimethyltryptamine), and appear in the lore of many cultures accross the globe. Machine elves (also known as "fractal elves" or "self-transforming elf machines") are totally real, and their existence can be proven by the fact that they have a Wikipedia page.
Check out McKenna's description of the Fractal Elf/DMT experience from said page:
At about minute one or two of a DMT trip, according to McKenna, one may burst through a chrysanthemum-like mandala, and find:
There's a whole bunch of entities waiting on the other side, saying "How wonderful that you're here! You come so rarely! We're so delighted to see you!"
They're like jewelled self-dribbling basketballs and there are many of them and they come pounding toward you and they will stop in front of you and vibrate, but then they do a very disconcerting thing, which is they jump into your body and then they jump back out again and the whole thing is going on in a high-speed mode where you're being presented with thousands of details per second and you can't get a hold on [them ...] and these things are saying "Don't give in to astonishment", which is exactly what you want to do. You want to go nuts with how crazy this is, and they say "Don't do that. Pay attention to what we're doing".
What they're doing is making objects with their voices, singing structures into existence. They offer things to you, saying "Look at this! Look at this!" and as your attention goes towards these objects you realise that what you're being shown is impossible. It's not simply intricate, beautiful and hard to manufacture, it's impossible to make these things. The nearest analogy would be the Fabergé eggs, but these things are like the toys that are scattered around the nursery inside a U.F.O., celestial toys, and the toys themselves appear to be somehow alive and can sing other objects into existence, so what's happening is this proliferation of elf gifts, which are moving around singing, and they are saying "Do what we are doing" and they are very insistent, and they say "Do it! Do it! Do it!" and you feel like a bubble inside your body beginning to move up toward your mouth, and when it comes out it isn't sound, it's vision. You discover that you can pump "stuff" out of your mouth by singing, and they're urging you to do this. They say "That's it! That's it! Keep doing it!".
We're now at minute 4.5 [of the trip] and you speak in a kind of glossolalia. There is a spontaneous outpouring of syntax unaccompanied by what is normally called "meaning". After a minute or so of this the whole thing begins to collapse in on itself and they begin to physically move away from you. Usually their final shot is that they wave goodbye and say "Deja vu! Deja vu!".
From Terence McKennaLand: Terence McKenna (1946—2000) has been studying the ontological foundations of Shamanism and the Ethnopharmacology of spiritual transformation for the past quarter century. An innovative theoretician and spellbinding orator, Terence has emerged as a powerful voice for the psychedelic movement and the emergent societal tendency he calls The Archaic Revival. Poetically dispensing enlightened social criticism and new theories of the fractal dynamics of time, Terence deobfuscates many aspects of the visionary lexicon, and then some. As Artist Alex Grey suggests, "In the twilight of human history, McKenna's prescription for salvation is just so crazy it might work."
"Joe Rogan knows what I'm talking about."
Whoa. That's a whole SHITLOAD of information to process. First, that the existence of Fractal Elves is a very real and provable fact, but second (and most importantly), that said Elves are a MALEVOLENT, EXTRA-DIMENSIONAL ALIEN FORCE!
I can't say it's much of a surprise: as Mr. Jones said before, politicians often stumble about in a weird, zombie-like haze, and the fact that they are all tripping super fucking hard on DMT all the time explains quite a bit.
The wool has been pulled back, revealing what I think many of us suspected already: The Bilderberger/Illuminati/reptilians are high as shit on hallucinogens, communicating through channels undiscovered by modern science with malevolent robot elves. Fuck.
OF COURSE this is why the Bible forbids drug use! It all makes so much sense now!
1 Peter 5:8 - "Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour."
Galatians 5:19-21 - "Now the works of the flesh are evident: sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries, dissensions, divisions, envy, drunkenness, orgies, and things like these. I warn you, as I warned you before, that those who do such things will not inherit the kingdom of God."
1 Corinthians 6:19-20 - "Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body."
Translation: "Don't trip on DMT, it will make you see the Fractal Elves that control the government, bro."
A simple equation:
^^^You.
So there you go. I am again forced into a grudging, mutual-respect-based stalemate with Alex Jones, based solely on his unwavering dedication to truth and justice. Illogical Contraption salutes you, Mr. Jones, and we pledge our allegiance to you in the upcoming battle with the Annunaki-reptilian/Fractal-based self-transforming elf machines. You have once again exposed The Man Behind The Curtain, and this time, when he approaches in the guise of a "jewelled self-dribbling basketball", we will see him for what he is: pure, unadulterated EVIL.
ALEX JONES: WINNING.
The biggest news story of the year just broke, and chances are you haven't heard a goddamn thing about it. This is HUGE, nigh unto Earth-shattering. I want you to watch the following video very, very closely, for it holds the key to our collective future as a cohesive human civilization.
Behold:
PS: "Stanggressive" = "Stupid" + "Angry" + "Aggressive".
Now, I'm no friend of Alex Jones. I thought his infiltration of the Bohemian Grove Owl Orgies was pretty cool, but beyond that, his Limbaugh-esque demeanor and penchant for unneccesary shouting has kept me away. He's a douche, long story short, and, like fellow circus barker Glenn Beck, makes up for lack of substance with an overabundance of volume.But HOLY SHIT has he blown this one wide open.
I'm sure we're all aware of the Bilderberg Group already, but the revelation that these power-hungry Illuminati overlords are controlled by multi-dimensional aliens via DMT vision-quests? Fucking Hell! Where's the CNN coverage? MSNBC? The Daily Show?
Anything?
Jones' assertation that Dimethyltryptamine hallucinations guide the major power decisions made by the ruling financial elite is nothing short of a total revelation for society as we know it, and the fact that mainstream media has ignored the story only strengthens its case. The shape-shifting DMT "machine elves" that Jones refers to in the above video are the true manipulators of all the major media outlets, after all, hence their total silence on the matter.But let's take a minute to discuss these "elves". Originally popularized by psychedelic guru Terence McKenna (left), these multi-dimensional creatures choose to communicate via drugs like ayahuasca (which contains Dimethyltryptamine), and appear in the lore of many cultures accross the globe. Machine elves (also known as "fractal elves" or "self-transforming elf machines") are totally real, and their existence can be proven by the fact that they have a Wikipedia page.
Check out McKenna's description of the Fractal Elf/DMT experience from said page:
At about minute one or two of a DMT trip, according to McKenna, one may burst through a chrysanthemum-like mandala, and find:
There's a whole bunch of entities waiting on the other side, saying "How wonderful that you're here! You come so rarely! We're so delighted to see you!"They're like jewelled self-dribbling basketballs and there are many of them and they come pounding toward you and they will stop in front of you and vibrate, but then they do a very disconcerting thing, which is they jump into your body and then they jump back out again and the whole thing is going on in a high-speed mode where you're being presented with thousands of details per second and you can't get a hold on [them ...] and these things are saying "Don't give in to astonishment", which is exactly what you want to do. You want to go nuts with how crazy this is, and they say "Don't do that. Pay attention to what we're doing".
What they're doing is making objects with their voices, singing structures into existence. They offer things to you, saying "Look at this! Look at this!" and as your attention goes towards these objects you realise that what you're being shown is impossible. It's not simply intricate, beautiful and hard to manufacture, it's impossible to make these things. The nearest analogy would be the Fabergé eggs, but these things are like the toys that are scattered around the nursery inside a U.F.O., celestial toys, and the toys themselves appear to be somehow alive and can sing other objects into existence, so what's happening is this proliferation of elf gifts, which are moving around singing, and they are saying "Do what we are doing" and they are very insistent, and they say "Do it! Do it! Do it!" and you feel like a bubble inside your body beginning to move up toward your mouth, and when it comes out it isn't sound, it's vision. You discover that you can pump "stuff" out of your mouth by singing, and they're urging you to do this. They say "That's it! That's it! Keep doing it!".We're now at minute 4.5 [of the trip] and you speak in a kind of glossolalia. There is a spontaneous outpouring of syntax unaccompanied by what is normally called "meaning". After a minute or so of this the whole thing begins to collapse in on itself and they begin to physically move away from you. Usually their final shot is that they wave goodbye and say "Deja vu! Deja vu!".
From Terence McKennaLand: Terence McKenna (1946—2000) has been studying the ontological foundations of Shamanism and the Ethnopharmacology of spiritual transformation for the past quarter century. An innovative theoretician and spellbinding orator, Terence has emerged as a powerful voice for the psychedelic movement and the emergent societal tendency he calls The Archaic Revival. Poetically dispensing enlightened social criticism and new theories of the fractal dynamics of time, Terence deobfuscates many aspects of the visionary lexicon, and then some. As Artist Alex Grey suggests, "In the twilight of human history, McKenna's prescription for salvation is just so crazy it might work."
"Joe Rogan knows what I'm talking about."
Whoa. That's a whole SHITLOAD of information to process. First, that the existence of Fractal Elves is a very real and provable fact, but second (and most importantly), that said Elves are a MALEVOLENT, EXTRA-DIMENSIONAL ALIEN FORCE!I can't say it's much of a surprise: as Mr. Jones said before, politicians often stumble about in a weird, zombie-like haze, and the fact that they are all tripping super fucking hard on DMT all the time explains quite a bit.
The wool has been pulled back, revealing what I think many of us suspected already: The Bilderberger/Illuminati/reptilians are high as shit on hallucinogens, communicating through channels undiscovered by modern science with malevolent robot elves. Fuck.
OF COURSE this is why the Bible forbids drug use! It all makes so much sense now!1 Peter 5:8 - "Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour."
Galatians 5:19-21 - "Now the works of the flesh are evident: sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries, dissensions, divisions, envy, drunkenness, orgies, and things like these. I warn you, as I warned you before, that those who do such things will not inherit the kingdom of God."
1 Corinthians 6:19-20 - "Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body."
Translation: "Don't trip on DMT, it will make you see the Fractal Elves that control the government, bro."
A simple equation:
^^^You.
So there you go. I am again forced into a grudging, mutual-respect-based stalemate with Alex Jones, based solely on his unwavering dedication to truth and justice. Illogical Contraption salutes you, Mr. Jones, and we pledge our allegiance to you in the upcoming battle with the Annunaki-reptilian/Fractal-based self-transforming elf machines. You have once again exposed The Man Behind The Curtain, and this time, when he approaches in the guise of a "jewelled self-dribbling basketball", we will see him for what he is: pure, unadulterated EVIL.
ALEX JONES: WINNING.Monday, March 28, 2011
KILLER FOX - ORGASM OF DEATH (1990)
Oh man, do I have a treat for you guys today.
Killer Fox (also known as Killer Foxx) are an enigma trapped within an anomaly enshrouded within a vortex of mystery--a mindfuckingly awful yet compellingly listenable experimental/techno/death metal trainwreck replete with Vocoded narration, frenzied screaming, drum machines, extended acoustic guitar passages, and a confusing medieval (above)-meets-Motley Crue (below) visual aesthetic. Quite simply, Killer Fox defy any sort of tidy categorization, existing in the esoteric realm of Outsider Metal, where they rule as undisputed Kings.
Although it's exceedingly difficult to extract any sort of coherent storyline from the Killer Fox continuum, it does appear that they released an impossible-to-find debut album entitled Going Under (also known by the titles All You Can Eat and The Night) in 1986, at which point half of the band (Vivian Fox and KK Fox) promptly died in a car accident, leaving the surviving members (guitarist Mick Stryker and drummer John Deacon) to create the absolutely baffling Orgasm of Death in 1990 before evaporating into complete obscurity.
Attempting to quantify exactly how much of this album is a joke and how much is quote unquote serious is a futile endeavor, as just about anyone could discern after 30 seconds of listening. There is simply no way to put adjectives to the Killer Fox experience, although one reviewer described it as "... nonsensical, never-ending songs, 'vocals' like a ranting old hag and weird and totally unmotivated sound effects. Like if THE RESIDENTS had made a Sci-fi concept Metal album." YES. The Residents meet... Old Lady Drivers? Fuck. I don't know.
Orgasm of Death was released by the mysterious and obscure Metal Enterprises label out of Germany, who also boasted (?) a "White Power Oi-Metal" band fronted by a black dude (FUCKER), history's only "Grind-sploitation" band (EXREME NAPALM TERROR--see yesterday's non-mixtape), and the terrible Steely Dan+reggae+German thrash abomination GODZILLA. I promise to explore the Metal Enterprises back catalog in greater detail very soon.
Meanwhile, let Killer Fox fuck you in your ear-pussy.
Download HERE
Metallum/Last.FM Check out a succinct yet very thorough history of the Metal Enterprises Chamber of Horrors via The Corroseum HERE.
Monday, February 14, 2011
Happy Valentines Day From IC
Our bros at Dark and Somber Greetings have a new website up and some brand new cards for that morbid someone in your grim and frost bitten life.
Outside reads: “I hate everyone.”
Inside reads: “except for you”
Inside reads: “if I can’t have you, no one will.”
Also, if you live in LA, we’re throwing a party at Footsies tomorrow. By "we" I mean Dark and Somber Greetings, J. Bennett from Decibel, Scott Carlson from Repulsion, Amoeba Records, the Grill ‘em All Truck and my heavy metal gaydio show.
If you don't live in LA, you can just tune in to Moheak.com tomorrow night at 7pm (pst) to catch the pre party on Death Wish Radio. Tomorrows show will be brought to you by St Ides malt liquor which is officially the new Four Loko at the IC satellite office in Southern California.
Outside reads: “I hate everyone.”
Inside reads: “except for you”
Inside reads: “if I can’t have you, no one will.”
Also, if you live in LA, we’re throwing a party at Footsies tomorrow. By "we" I mean Dark and Somber Greetings, J. Bennett from Decibel, Scott Carlson from Repulsion, Amoeba Records, the Grill ‘em All Truck and my heavy metal gaydio show.
If you don't live in LA, you can just tune in to Moheak.com tomorrow night at 7pm (pst) to catch the pre party on Death Wish Radio. Tomorrows show will be brought to you by St Ides malt liquor which is officially the new Four Loko at the IC satellite office in Southern California.
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Thursday, October 28, 2010
Soulja Boy on IC?
Believe it.
You probably are familiar with Soulja Boy from his 2007 hit single. I wasn't impressed with the song and more or less discounted the guy. That all changed when a friend showed me Da Album Before Da Album. This is insane, lo fi psych hip hop.
Preview:
Spark A blunt and play this album loud.
Download here.
Purchase here.
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
Noise Blog: John Wiese & Merzbow - Multiplication
Alright you blogger nerds, you fucked up. You fucked up big time. And your going to have to be punished. Just remember, I do this because I love you.
The first post I made about noise featured John Wiese. This album features a collaboration between Wiese and another major noise artist, Merzbow.
Merzbow (Masami Akita) is an OG on the real. Dudes been releasing this sort of stuff since 1979(!). He is also a big fan of grindcore and deathmetal. Akita is incredibly prolific, he has over 350 solo recordings out to date and numerous collaborations as well. His process has changed a lot over the years, originally using "junk" and electronics and more recently using laptops. Heres an example of his earlier approach from a Korean tour in 1991...
Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Multiplication.
This album is brutal and unrelenting. Your ears are assaulted from every angle and you never get a chance to catch your breath. Its starts right in at a million miles an hour and only gains momentum. This is not for the faint at heart so you Elliot Smith listening, sweater wearing types best leave this one alone. But if you think you can handle this, give it a try, and find out how wrong you are...
Download here
Purchase here.
PS One of my favorite things to do is play this and Phobia or Visceral Bleeding at the same time. Go on try it, it'll give you a chance to meet those new neighbors who moved in upstairs.
The first post I made about noise featured John Wiese. This album features a collaboration between Wiese and another major noise artist, Merzbow.
Merzbow (Masami Akita) is an OG on the real. Dudes been releasing this sort of stuff since 1979(!). He is also a big fan of grindcore and deathmetal. Akita is incredibly prolific, he has over 350 solo recordings out to date and numerous collaborations as well. His process has changed a lot over the years, originally using "junk" and electronics and more recently using laptops. Heres an example of his earlier approach from a Korean tour in 1991...
Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Multiplication.
This album is brutal and unrelenting. Your ears are assaulted from every angle and you never get a chance to catch your breath. Its starts right in at a million miles an hour and only gains momentum. This is not for the faint at heart so you Elliot Smith listening, sweater wearing types best leave this one alone. But if you think you can handle this, give it a try, and find out how wrong you are...
Download here
Purchase here.
PS One of my favorite things to do is play this and Phobia or Visceral Bleeding at the same time. Go on try it, it'll give you a chance to meet those new neighbors who moved in upstairs.
Saturday, October 9, 2010
Trying to find a Special Lady...
Hey she bros, Ive been trying to find myself a new lady friend. Think you might fit the bill? Read my craigs list ad below...
Satanic Sexual Ritual
Date: 2009-06-18, 5:13PM
Looking for a woman with evil appetites.
We will have nasty, evil, sweaty, probably illegal sexual encounters in order to bring about the rise of Lucifer. (ie Satan)
Must be willing to do all styles of sexual positions, except Missionary. That is the Lord's Way, and we will have none of that. Besides, if we do it Missionary, Satan gets angry and a kitten dies. I like kittens.
Must be into anal. For that is Satan's Alley. Must like blow jobs (Swallowing Lucifer's Gravy) and Hand Jobs (Milking the Evil Goat)
Must be into slight S&M (Safe word: Pink Sock)
Must be into erotic and evil costumes and lingerie. Leather Thongs, spikes, boots, black and evil bras that accentuate your bosom, Boba Fett costumes.
Must be willing to deep throat. (So that my satanic appendage will be closer to your black soul)
Must be into strap-ons so that I may feel the "Power of Beezlebub" coursing thru my lower intestines.
The perfect encounter will be this:
Meeting you at one of our local eatery's. Plying you with ample alcoholic libations. Enjoying a nice piece of animal flesh. Tipping the waiter only 10% instead of 15 to 20% (Because we are EVIL!) Taking you back to my lair. Removing your Gothic Garb, laying you roughly upon my "Sacrifice Altar" (Twin size futon), and promptly begin to nibble on your Satanic Slit. (Please shave before the ritual, as it's hard to be evil when you got pubes stuck in your fillings) Whence you are all moist with the Power of The Dark Lord's Juices, I will remove my cape and trousers and proceed to fill you with the Sceptre of His Infernal Majesty. You will writhe in pleasure so deep, it will call forth the Evil One himself! After 4 to 7 minutes of the most intense sexual experience of your God Fearing life, we will perform a Satanic Snuggle, until you gently fall asleep in my powerful arms.
If this taps into the Primordial Jelly you have buried deep down in your Dark Soul, then contact me and we will make beautiful, agonizing "love" together. We will combine our desires and perform rituals so evil, it will awaken the Evil Ancient One from His Firey Nap! He will spill forth from the Bowels of Hell like so much premature Satanic Ejaculate!!
Hails to the Evil One!!
Location: Santa Barbara
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
Original URL: http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/sba/1228602341.html
Edit: Im perfectly content with my current special lady.
Satanic Sexual Ritual
Date: 2009-06-18, 5:13PM
Looking for a woman with evil appetites.
We will have nasty, evil, sweaty, probably illegal sexual encounters in order to bring about the rise of Lucifer. (ie Satan)
Must be willing to do all styles of sexual positions, except Missionary. That is the Lord's Way, and we will have none of that. Besides, if we do it Missionary, Satan gets angry and a kitten dies. I like kittens.
Must be into anal. For that is Satan's Alley. Must like blow jobs (Swallowing Lucifer's Gravy) and Hand Jobs (Milking the Evil Goat)
Must be into slight S&M (Safe word: Pink Sock)
Must be into erotic and evil costumes and lingerie. Leather Thongs, spikes, boots, black and evil bras that accentuate your bosom, Boba Fett costumes.
Must be willing to deep throat. (So that my satanic appendage will be closer to your black soul)
Must be into strap-ons so that I may feel the "Power of Beezlebub" coursing thru my lower intestines.
The perfect encounter will be this:
Meeting you at one of our local eatery's. Plying you with ample alcoholic libations. Enjoying a nice piece of animal flesh. Tipping the waiter only 10% instead of 15 to 20% (Because we are EVIL!) Taking you back to my lair. Removing your Gothic Garb, laying you roughly upon my "Sacrifice Altar" (Twin size futon), and promptly begin to nibble on your Satanic Slit. (Please shave before the ritual, as it's hard to be evil when you got pubes stuck in your fillings) Whence you are all moist with the Power of The Dark Lord's Juices, I will remove my cape and trousers and proceed to fill you with the Sceptre of His Infernal Majesty. You will writhe in pleasure so deep, it will call forth the Evil One himself! After 4 to 7 minutes of the most intense sexual experience of your God Fearing life, we will perform a Satanic Snuggle, until you gently fall asleep in my powerful arms.
If this taps into the Primordial Jelly you have buried deep down in your Dark Soul, then contact me and we will make beautiful, agonizing "love" together. We will combine our desires and perform rituals so evil, it will awaken the Evil Ancient One from His Firey Nap! He will spill forth from the Bowels of Hell like so much premature Satanic Ejaculate!!
Hails to the Evil One!!
Location: Santa Barbara
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
Original URL: http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/sba/1228602341.html
Edit: Im perfectly content with my current special lady.
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
BLOOD FREAK - SLEAZE MERCHANTS (2003)
PORTLAND SPLATTERTHRASH, Part 5
Yet another entry in the PDX Splatterthrash series, and also the last, because I'm running out of creative ways to say "Here's another Portland area goregrind/Razorback band that samples 70's horror movies and features members of Engorged, Frightmare, and Lord Gore". Seriously. There are too many.
Blood Freak, recording-wise, is mostly a one-man project purveyed by a guy named "Maniac Neil", although he enlists the help of some other freaky dudes for live shows (see awesome band photo, below). Side note: either Maniac Neil is a kick-ass drummer, or this album was recorded with a kick-ass drum machine. If the latter is true, I've got to admit the coolness is significantly diminished. But the super-wet, monster-in-the-closet vocals, Dad Rockish wah-wah solos, and goofy song titles like "You Are What We Eat" equal instant forgiveness. Long story short, a pleasantly gory, violently silly metal album that neatly sums up the "Portland Sound" of the early-to-mid 00's. Good shit.
Pro tip: Sleaze Merchants maintains a perfect 100% review score on Encyclopaedia Metallum, meaning that it is approximately 33.3 times as good as that horrendous Cretaceous demo.
Download HERE
Purchase HERE
Metallum/Last.FM
Thursday, September 16, 2010
NEON NIGHTS
Incredibly Coked-Out 1986 Movie Producer #1: "Wow, this Neon Maniacs flick sure is an enormous hunk of pulsating shit. How the fuck are we ever gonna get people to go watch it?"
Incredibly Coked-Out 1986 Movie Producer #2: "Fuck if I know, dude. Maybe a really extremely offensively off-putting and nonsensical tagline on the cover of the VHS box?"
Incredibly Coked-Out 1986 Movie Producer #1: "You fucking NAILED IT, buddy. There's really no other way to sell a flaccid turd like this. But what will it say?"
Incredibly Coked-Out 1986 Movie Producer #2: "How about 'We spent our entire budget on shitty costumes'? Or maybe 'Turgid rehash of every half-baked monster flick ever filmed'?"
Incredibly Coked-Out 1986 Movie Producer #1: "Nah, too obvious. We need something vague. Something barely within the periphery of coherent human cognition."
Incredibly Coked-Out 1986 Movie Producer #2: "HOLY SHIT, I've got it! This is gonna be huge... You ready?... 'NIGHT FALLS. SO DO THEIR VICTIMS'."
Incredibly Coked-Out 1986 Movie Producer #1: "Good god... We might be able to convince people to spend money on this piece of shit after all..."
It was through a brief passage in the spectacular tome Zombie Movies: The Ultimate Guide by Glenn Kay (recently purchased as a gift for yours truly by the unceasingly awesome girlfriending-unit known as Sweet Baby Jay) that I became acquainted with the ill-conceived train wreck known as Neon Maniacs, a film that has proven itself, upon further retrospection, to be one of the finest examples of cocaine-hullucination zombie-splatter-horror numbskulled excess in the entire history of such things.Observe:
Just to dispel any doubts: YES, THIS MOVIE IS FUCKING HORRIBLE.But it is horrible in a way that is supremely enjoyable to watch, as the poor, transfixed viewer is quickly enslaved by the viciously captivating thought--"HOW COULD THIS GET ANY STUPIDER?" The amazing part, of course, is that Neon Maniacs KEEPS FINDING NEW WAYS to get stupider for the duration of an hour and a half. It is amazing. I cannot give a film a higher recommendation.
Plot? What plot? Dialogue? Who needs it? "Characters"? Neon Maniacs doesn't even know the meaning of the word. This movie's head is so far up its own ass that it's brilliant.
In all fairness, though, we do need to take a minute to discuss the "series of words, images, and motions" that pass for this film's "plot".Okay, here it comes: there are a bunch of
THE END.
Really, there isn't much more to the story. There's a shitty band, some sort of garbled attempt at romantic tension, and some motorcycles or something, but none of these elements are essential to the nexus of the film. The zombie guys (if they are in fact zombies, as such things are not actually explained) are the focal point that Neon Maniacs wishes for us to concentrate on, Axe and Chopper and Samurai and Lazer and, well, fuck... I'm probably just making these names up. But the point is, these are the "maniacs" the film's title alludes to, and such grandoise titularity would seem to imply some sort of, I don't know, exposition. Or at least organization. But alas, Maniacs offers none.
Fucking SO INTENSE:
Left: Is that the dude from The Karate Kid? Did I mention that the film's director, Joseph Mangine (go ahead and say it out loud)
Luckily the lack of coherent plot, character development, acting skills, or competent special effects is completely offset by a vicious fucking soundtrack comprised of raw, Satanic black metal psychedelia:
Alright, alright. Apologies in advance, but when it comes to Neon Maniacs, there is a MAJOR spoiler involved--one that I can't help but share with you fuckers (as if any of you were gonna go watch it anyways): You want deus ex machina? Well Neon Maniacs has a cop-out plot-twist that makes War of The Worlds look like Machiavelli.Check it out: Just when it has become apparent that the aforementioned high school students have no hope for survival and will surely suffer painful and heinous death at the hands of our furry, latex friends, the route for escape presents itself...
WATER. Throw fucking WATER on the Maniacs and they fucking die. The end. Did I mention that they LIVE INSIDE THE FUCKING GOLDEN GATE BRIDGE???
Wow. Just... Stunning. You should probably watch this movie over and over until your eyelids shrivel and fall off from dehydration. Luckily you can now do so, for free, in HD, right HERE.
Netflix it/Buy it
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