“Dune. Desert Planet. Arrakis. WATER.” --Kyle McLaughlin, in Lynch’s Magnum Opus, Dune “Dune, where’s my car?” --Cobras
Many bands have tried and failed to capture the essence of Frank Herbert’s seminal, epic, orientalist space-opera, DUNE. For some, it might have been better if they had tried and died.
It would be well-nigh impossible to document every Dune-inspired track in the universe, so these are but a sampling of the many existing varieties of Dune music. They are grouped in brackets because, as Paul Atreides has observed, "the worst potential competition for any young organism can come from its own kind."
Techno Bracket Eon let loose in 1991 with a couple Dune-themed tracks, "The Spice Must Flow" and "Fear: The Mindkiller.""Fear: The Mindkiller"is a clear ancestor of the Mortal Kombat theme song, and samples (you guessed it!) the line "fear is the mind killer" a few thousand times. For good measure, Eon throws in a healthy dose of what sounds like the panting from Kraftwerk's "Tour De France." Because that's what Kraftwerk is awesome for-- panting.
Not shown: panting. Shown: nerding.
As bad as this may be, however, it’s still better than “German techno-pop ensemble from Münster Dune,” because by "techno pop" they mean Happy Hardcore. If you don’t know what that is, take a moment to thank the gods. You are either too young, too old, or were too under-a-rock-in-the-90s to have been exposed to this toxin. Preserve your innocence/health. If you must know, a representative track is "Can't Stop Raving,"but don't say I didn't warn you. Also, Dune’s youtube page would have you know that the group is “named after the 1984 science fiction movie directed by David Lynch.” Yup. Straight from the source.
Winner: no one. No one is a winner here.
Metal Bracket Another band of Krauts, Golem, attacked the Dune concept in their 1998 album “The 2nd Moon.” Check out the first track, The Wanderers. Featuring succinct riffage and abstract/subtly ESL lyrics (see e.g.: “Unlocking the gates of time, widening its bounds/Guarded by the maker ...facing desert ground”), Golem may actually have what it takes to make a Kwisatz Hadderach.
A further solid entry comes from Aussie rock band Buffalo (mentioned in a previous Cobras post), whose Dune Messiah takes us on a Pentagram-esque journey to Arrakis (and admit it, you always wanted to go to Arrakis with Pentagram).
Pretty sure it would be like this...
Blind Guardian also pays a visit to the Dune-iverse in Traveller in Time. The morning sun! Of Dune! Good old Blind Guardian. If you haven’t heard this song, it’s pretty much exactly what you would expect from Blind Guardian (i.e., it is awesome, unabashed nerdery). They can really play their balisets ifyouknowwhatimean.
Picard Knows.
Also, according to a reliable source (wikipedia, duh), Iron Maiden tried to name To Tame A Land “Dune,” but Frank Herbert was having none of it. Apparently the band was told that "Frank Herbert doesn't like rock bands, particularly heavy rock bands, and especially bands like Iron Maiden." Good call on that one, F. Herb.
Frank Herbert hates you.
PS: Dreamtheater fans will be delighted to admit to you that Dreamtheater covered "To Tame A Land." Winner: Vote your choice in the comments. You are the dungeonmaster! You get to decide!
Blind Guardian
Buffalo
Golem
Iron Maiden
Dreamtheater
Prog/Jazz Bracket
More to F. Herb’s taste might be the smooth stylings of one Dave Matthews (!), a jazz keyboardist from Kentucky who hung out with James Brown and was apparently moved to gather together a bunch of other jazz players (Grover Washington, Eric Gale) and write several Dune-themed songs which readers should check out at their own risk. These are all on a 1977 album Dave Matthews titled, wait for it, “Dune.” The creativity here just does not end... or at least, not until the second side of the album, where Dave gives us NOT ONLY a disco-fied version of the Star Wars main theme (it was 1977, so Lucas didn’t quite know what he had on his hands), but also a limp cover of David Bowie's Space Oddity. On a related note, the only tolerable part of the latter song was sampled by MF (“Metal Face/Fingers”) Doom in Rap Snitch Knishes. You know. Like you do. Wait, what was I talking about? Ah yes. Another entry in the Dune prog bracket are French prog rockers Dün, about whom we have previously heard. An interesting compare and contrast exercise may be done by playing Dave Matthew's "Arrakis" and Dün's “Arrakis” back to back. Go on. Try it.
Winner:
Dave Matthews
Dün
Video Game Bracket Yes, evidently there were at least two about a million soundtracked Dune videogames. Kids these days. Don’t they know about books? Require a little effort on your part, make no be-be-be-be-beeps. Anywho. 1992 saw the release of not one, but TWO Dune videogames. The first was called “Dune” by Cryo Interactive, and it carried a soundtrack called "Dune: Spice Opera." It’s not so bad, from what I can tell. Also, at 1:55 of the track embedded below, "Sign of the Worm," you can see a sweet rendering of Shai-Hulud in 1992 graphics.
A competing video game company, Westwood Studios, released “Dune II” that same year; check out this sweet dialogue: “We were your pawns and Dune was your board.” The score is basically 8-bit plus. In 1998, Westwood Studios released “Dune: 2000” scored in part by professional video game composer Frank Klepaki. Good old Frank K. does a musical homage to/rip off of Toto’s score to Lynch’s Dune here on this track at about 3:22-32; otherwise, this is fairly unremarkable stuff.
Winner:
Dune: Spice Opera
Dune II
Klepaki
No one, again
Dune OST Bracket The Lynch Dune OST has been reported on here, but I thought I might add a few words. Two of those words are "Brian Eno." Two more words are “fuck yeah.”
but of course there is a fuckyeaheno.com
For the sake of completeness, here is the theme music from the Dune television series, composed by the dude who did the soundtrack to Final Destination V. If you have ever watched any sci-fi movie and heard some generic background symphonics, you’ve basically heard it. Speaking of orientalism, there’s also a Bonus New Age Track.
Winner:Toto/Eno OST. I’m sorry, this is just objective. Please send your complaints to James Madison.
Well, there you have it, friends. A smattering of the aural representations of the Dune-iverse. Please feel free to add on in the comments.
Behold Kris Mar, newest addition to the IllCon Team! Hail Kris Mar! May the rivers run red with the blood of your fallen foes, and may vampires tremble and expire at your feet just as they do under the mighty ax of Abe Lincoln! I am impressed with the nerdiness contained herein, please feel free to contribute further in the future. Sweet.
If you've been reading IllCon for a bit, you are probably somewhat accustomed to my (Cobras') taste in stuff -- I have my likes and dislikes, and I attack them both with equal vehemence. And as I'm sure you're aware, one of my favorite subjects to discuss is heavy fucking METAL. I am extremely picky about my metal, but I do like a varied cross-section of it. I think the metal genre is a breeding ground for some of the most creative and articulate musicians in the world, but it can also be a hotbed of pretension, falseness, and mediocrity. I'm not that old (*cough*31 this Saturday*cough*), but I am elderly enough to remember a time when the metal kingdom was a more honest and wholesome (?) place, before jocks and fratbrats had taken over the mosh pits and any self-respecting Hessian worth a stack of his own cassette demos wouldn't be caught dead wearing eyeliner or emo bangs. And up until the present, I prefer metal from this era -- I guess I like my metal like I like my women: dirty, mean as fuck, and at least 18 years old.
Right: It's OK to be old and love metal.
But I don't want to pigeon-hole myself. Lately I've become a little worried -- am I missing out on significant amounts of awesome metal as I contentedly kick back and rock the same old Obituary and Deicide albums once again? I don't know a Gojira from a Pelican from a Lamb of God from a Job For A Cowboy, and I've always just assumed that I'm not missing anything. I'm pretty sure I'm not. But lately I've been making a very real and focused effort to catch up on "modern" metal a little bit, in all its different forms. I'd hate for a game-changing album to slip under my radar as I pore over another batch of Carcass bootlegs here at the retirement home, and as a result, I've been stocking up on immense amounts of metal from '09 and beyond, separating the wheat from the chaff in some kind of an attempt to reconnect with the present.
Left: Shelby Cobras, circa late April, 2010.
For the most part, it's been a pretty fruitless endeavor. More and more often, I am reminded that my taste in music is usually the polar opposite of "critic's" taste in music, and I will almost always be the most disappointed by a band or album that has received large amounts of praise in the media. Examples: Remember when all the blogs and magazines had a huge boner for Nachmystium? Assassins: Black Meddle, Part 1 (great fucking title, guys) was on everyone's year-end best-of list, but I guess I just never "got it" (I wrote about it here). In fact, I think Nachtmystium is terrible. Now word comes down the pipe that Assassins 2: Black Metal Boogaloo (or whatever) is on the way, which I'm sure all the "critics" have already decided is awesome. I don't get it. My impression: hipster ninnies playing watered down, thoroughly mediocre hipster "experi-metal" for hipster beardos to jerk each other off to. Or what about Cobalt? This is another band that everyone couldn't get enough of last year, and seeing their album Gin on all the Top 10 of 2009 lists last year, I was fooled into buying it. I guess I'll never learn. I found their music to be a formulaic loud-quiet-loud snoozefest -- you know you're in trouble when the CLEAN singing is the best part. In a way, too much positive press will turn me against a band. And most bands that people love talking about are the same ones that completely fail to arouse my interest: Amon Amarth, Isis, the Red Chord, Converge, just about any band with three or more words in their name (besides 3 Inches of Blood and Wolves In The Throne Room, I guess) Mastodon, Baroness (that one song was kind of cool), any type of "shoegaze/drone" black metal (I blame Burzum and Darkthrone, PS), about 90% of bands discussed on MetalSucks, 95% of bands discussed on Blabbermouth, and 100% of whatever Sergeant D is listening to these days. The whole Folk/Viking/Pirate metal thing was cute for a minute, now I'm sick of hearing about it. But I digress. I didn't come here to bitch about what's WRONG with metal all day. I actually have some positive stuff to say here too. I swear we'll get to it soon. I think I've figured out what frustrates me so much about the state of modern "extreme music", and I can sum it up in one sentence. I'll use bold type AND italics to help it sink in:
METAL HAS BECOME SELF-AWARE.
Everyone remember what happened when Skynet became self-aware? It was bad news. The same thing is happening to metal. It's a tough concept to grasp -- I'm not sure I understand it 100% myself -- but I've found an example that illustrates my point rather succinctly:
We are all familiar with the band Arsis, correct? Well, I've always dug 'em (I'm a sucker for tech-metal), but I've never really had a mental picture of them in my head. Their lyrics have always seemed kind of emo (lots about "guilt" and "sorrow" and "candles" and whatnot), but I've forgiven it due to the insane guitar acrobatics and unconventional song structures. Resultingly, I procured a copy of their 2010 album Starve For The Devil upon its release. Let's take a look at the video for the first track, "Forced To Rock" (why would anyone be "forced" to rock in the first place? Doesn't that imply that one doesn't want to rock?):
WHAT THE COCK IS THIS ASS?
I'll tell you what it is: METAL BECOMING SELF-AWARE. This is metal declaring war on its creators. Do you get it yet?
It's not all bad in the world of tech-death metal, though. In the last year I've discovered a couple great bands, among them GOROD from France and OBSCURA from Germany (a country quickly establishing itself as the world tech-death capital). Both of these bands put out excellent albums in 2009 (Process of A New Decline and Cosmogenesis, respectively), and have stayed in pretty heavy rotation around ICHQ lately. If you're into self-indulgent wankery, I recommend checking both of these groups out (I'm not going to upload this stuff because it's still new and you should go buy it). Obscura totally reminds me of an updated version of their fellow countrymen PAVOR -- which is a really good thing. But here's the kicker: Both bands use the Cynic Focus robot/vocoder voice from time to time. What's up with that shit? I always just kind of figured that the Robot Voice was kind of like Cynic's "thing", you know?
Whatever.
Gorod, "The Path". Robot vocals at 2:35.
Obscura, "Choir of Spirits". Robot vocals at 2:50.
Speaking of Obscura, check this shit out (I am especially fond of the Calculus and Chemistry textbooks displayed prominently in the background. Adorable.):
And while we're still (kind of) on the subject of Cynic, am I alone in thinking that their 2008 "comeback" album Traced In Air was, I don't know... Kind of "meh"? I mean, Paul Masvidal seems like a nice guy and everything, but early reports have it that Cynic's next new album is going to be a "re-imagining" of Traced In Air called Re-Traced. Metal nerds are already creaming their jeans on this one, but I've got to call Consumer Fraud here. Anyone remember the Load/Reload debacle? I'm just sayin'...
One more item while we're on the whole tech-death thing: My boys BRAIN DRILL -- the band everyone loves to hate -- have a new album, promisingly titled Quantum Catastrophe (left), due to hit the shelves in exactly one week. It was hard to judge if their new lineup is up to snuff from the one video that I saw, but I've been addicted to their first two albums (2008's Apocalyptic Feasting and 2006's The Parasites) for a solid two years now. Should be interesting... And when are we going to see a new Deeds of Flesh record? That last one was epic... Or Necrophagist? Their new one was supposed to come out LAST YEAR... Hmmm...
Right: Another ruthlessly fucking br00tal 2009 DM release, Fleshgod Apocalypse's Oracles. Brother Peter uploaded it HERE. I suggest you check it out.
But enough of the super-techy stuff. Let's talk straight up death metal. In fact, I have a prediction I'd like to share with you all: You guys remember that "retro-thrash" thing? Guess what? By mid-summer all those denim vests and white sneakers will be replaced by Asphyx and Demilich T-shirts over sweatpants. That's right --
OLD SCHOOL DEATH METAL IS THE NEW RETRO THRASH.
How do I know? Because Japan is all over it. Ever heard of fucking COFFINS, bro? These guys have proved that there ain't a goddamn thing wrong with sounding like Autopsy in the present day, and if you don't believe me you should head over to The Unflinching Eye and let Brother Aylmer school you some. Once again, by mimicking our past, Japan has predicted our future. And if you have any doubts about that country's SUPERIOR TASTE IN EVERYTHING, I invite you to inspect their obsession with (and mastery of) SLAM METAL. Old school DM is the wave of the past/future, just wait and see...
Left: Sometimes it's OK to judge an album by it's cover.
For my old school death metal dollar, it doesn't get any better than the two-piece VASAELETH, who perform crushing, apocalyptic sludge via INCANTATION. Their 2010 release Crypt Born And Tethered To Ruin (left) has been melting my face repeatedly as of late, and I need to share the sickness. You should really go buy it from Profound Lore HERE and bask in the triumphant misery of your own gory demise. This album is BEYOND awesome.
BEHOLD VASAELETH:
But the Death Metal Album of the Year (so far) is DEFEATED SANITY's Chapters of Repugnance. By a fucking long shot. We last checked in with these Bavarian grindfreaks back here, but that album came out in '07 and things have changed significantly since then. Chapters is indeed the "game-changing" album I referred to at the beginning of this post, a horrific bloodbath of a release that sounds like Gorguts and Cannibal Corpse wallowing in a trough of severed limbs. Just when I was starting to wonder where metal could possibly go after all of its wonderful, gory mutations, my question has been answered. There are no words. This album is weird and mystifying in the same way that Lovecraft's protagonists could never describe the unimaginable horrors that confronted them at the end of their stories. Buy it. Crank it. Worship it. Repeat.
(Technically, this album was officially "released" TODAY. But whatever. You have been warned.)
DEFEATED SANITY, "Salacious Affinity". PS The bassist plays a Modulus Quantum 5. Duh.
Death metal chapter = CLOSED. Doom metal chapter = OPEN.
As you guys might already know, doom just ain't my bag. There's some good stuff out there, but for the most part, it's just dudes playing slow for the sake of playing slow. My attention span just isn't that long. There are, however, two doom albums that have blown my mind in recent months. They are FUNGOID STREAM's Oceanus (I think it's pronounced "Oh, see anus.") and AHAB's The Divinity of Oceans (BUY). We last heard from Fungoid Stream in 2004, the year they released the monumental Celaenus Fragments album (which you can, and SHOULD, get over at FROM THIS SWAMP). I was immediately enchanted both by Fungoid's Lovecraftian leanings and their funeral-doom-meets-John-Carpenter-synth-film-score meanderings, and the mere prospect of a new trickle from The Stream left me giddy with glee. Oceanus delivers. You can download two tracks for free on the official Fungoid Stream website.
Onward to AHAB! Everyone seemed to lose interest in this German band after the release of their Moby Dick-themed concept album The Call of The Wretched Sea back in 2006 (download that sucker here). And with good reason. The album came out right around the same time as Mastodon's Moby Dick album, and Ahab is only interesting in relation to Mastodon, right? FUCK YOU. As I might have mentioned the last time I wrote about Ahab, Wretched Sea is the ONLY White Whale-centric metal album that EVER mattered. Leviathan was a drag. Too bad everyone forgot about this band once the Mastodon controversy passed, because 2009's The Divinity of Oceans (above right) is amazing. Chumps.
So is "Seafaring doom metal" the new "it" genre? Has the market become so specific, so fractured, that I can afford to say "I only like OCEANIC funeral doom metal" and get away with it? Apparently so. Fuck yeah.
Also: I've never been a huge fan of High on Fire, but when did Matt Pike turn into a creepy, botoxed drag queen?
... And speaking of drag queens, you're probably wondering what these lovely ladies are doing in a post about the state of modern metal. Well, I have a surprise for you. Rhapsody of Fire has a new album out (in Europe - it won't be released stateside until June 29th). It's called (ridiculously enough) The Frozen Tears of Angels. It contains lots of narration and over-the-top shredding. And in a career built upon bombast and pomposity, it might be their most bombastic and pompous release to date. I know I'm probably alone in my love for Rhapsody, but mark my words: FROZEN TEARS IS FUCKING AWESOME. File this one under 'Most Pleasant Surprise of 2010 (so far)'. This album is both a return to form (their last couple albums haven't been great) and a brave adventure into unexplored territory. Yes, our buddy Christopher Lee is back, as are all the elements (in enormous portions) that have made Rhapsody the unstoppable epic-symphonic-shred-power-unicorn-Narration Metal juggernaut that they are. Yeah, I know: you're too "cool" for Rhapsody. But dude, you're seriously missing out. I'm telling you as a friend.
Just as Slough Feg's "White Cousin" was the best song of 2009, I'm starting to think that Rhapsody's "Reign of Terror" might be the track of '010 (probably not, though):
One last thing I want to get off my chest before I bail:
There are very few extreme metal bands that can stay both relevant and brutal for a several decades. Napalm Death is still holding it down, Testament is still keeping it real... Exodus? Well... No. Not you, Exodus. I was hoping against hope that Slayer's new (well, '09) album World Painted Blood would be some sort of return to relevance for them after hearing the "Psychopathy Red" single, but alas, my dreams were quickly crushed. Although "Red" was a pretty rippin' song, rumors about World Painted Blood being the "new Reign In Blood" were quickly proven false. No surprises there -- Slayer hasn't put out a decent record since Seasons In The Abyss. But bear with me here...
You have just borne witness to the (yawn) first (yaaaawn) track off of said album (yaaaaawn). It's all here: Boring, three note "main riff", sucky solo, uncomfortable spoken-word part... Jesus, what a mess. But it gets worse. Check out track 10, "Playing With Dolls" (I will LITERALLY GIVE YOU A MILLION DOLLARS IF YOU MAKE IT THROUGH THE ENTIRE SONG):
My point is this: it has become time for Slayer to throw in the towel. Artistically speaking, these guys sound like exactly what they ARE - 50-year-old dudes chasing after a music genre that is quickly leaving them behind. Slayer sounds like Kerry King looks - Outdated, irrelevant, overwrought, and sloppy. It's embarassing. Since the rest of the metal world is too polite to say it, allow me: STOP IT, SLAYER. YOU'RE CREEPING US OUT. For fuck's sake, listening to "modern" Slayer is like watching your parents get drunk and dance at a wedding. Yeesh.
Maybe it's blasphemy to call Slayer out like this. But isn't blasphemy what Slayer's all about? DID I JUST BLOW YOUR MIND?
I'd like to thank anyone who made it through this entire post. I meant for it to be a lot shorter, but I get carried away sometimes. Oops. Let me know about your take on the world of modern metal down there in the 'Comments'.
I'll tell you what, gang: Illogical Contraption might not have the biggest readership on the internet, but I'll be Goddamned if our readers aren't the best. Really. I mean it. (hold for applause.)
Following a recent post introducing the genre of Narration Metal ("NARRATION METAL", April 10, 2010), several IC faithful contributed their own nominations for inclusion in said category, and they were indeed some tasty morsels. In addition to the not-very-metal-but-still-awesome space-disco prog-opera Jeff Wayne's Musical Version of The War of The Worlds (which I located, consumed, digested, and shat out HERE), an eclectic and varied mix of story-driven metal bands were suggested -- some brutal, some corny -- all of them totally worthwhile. So Round 2 begins today, as we are introduced to four more Narration Metal pioneers -- all of them destined to stand proudly next to their brothers in the genre (Slough Feg, Inquisition, Rhapsody of Fire, Bal-Sagoth, and NarMetal Master Christopher Lee, to name a few). Read on...
The first contender for Narration Metal greatness on today's list is Southern California's MORGION, as suggested by Illogical Mega-Bro cdg (check out his freshly-birthed music blog Data Control HERE.)
As cdg pointed out in his comment on the last post, the only Morgion release to really properly fall into the 'Narration Metal' category was 1999's Solinari, which I have been kind enough to upload for you all HERE. It's a creepy, doomy, atmospheric, and (almost) goth-y (GASP!) affair, not the sort of thing I'm usually into but I'll be damned if Morgion doesn't like narrating a story or two. Additionally, cdg was instrumental in the establishment of the last IllCon-defined genre, RENROCK. Hence, all of his recommendations are GOLD to me (Fairy Fests be damned). I thank you sir.
Next up we have Japan's Dragon Guardian, championed by Thulsa Mood creator and IC guest blogger BradethQ. If you're into shit like PowerQuest, cosplay, anime, Helloween, Visual Kei, tentacle porn, or Taco Gaywolf, you will most likely pop a shameful boner for Dragon Guardian. From what little I understand about this very Japanese band, it is a one-man project, constructed by a dude named Arthur Brave (勇者アーサー). Mr. Brave proudly refers to the band as "fantasy metal", but it actually gets sort of tough at times. Like, there are blastbeats and shit. I don't know. Download 2008's Harukanaru Chigiri (above right) and tell me what YOU think.
I agree with BradethQ's description: "It's cheesy power metal that sounds like about what you'd expect given their name but with a lady handling a good chunk of the vocals and a dude doing some ridiculous dramatic narration throughout. Everything's in Japanese, but you should still get a kick out of it."
Thoroughly confusing stuff. Thanks, Bradeth.
Blood of Kingu was a recommendation from Brother Peter. Apparently the one-man side project of a dude from Drudkh, Kingu comes from the same so-evil-I-can't-be-bothered-to-actually-perform-the-act-that-mere-mortals-refer-to-as-"singing" school as the ass-kicking INQUISITION. Hailing from the Ukraine, BoK is (according to Last.FM) "...highly influenced by Sumerian, ancient Egyptian and Indo-Aryan mythology and history." But you would never know from the nearly inaudible, monotone croaking beneath their blasting, cacophonous onslaught. Some of the other guys from Drudkh play on Kingu's albums as well, which makes me wonder how they balance the Mesopotamian/North African focus of Kingu's imagery with the purported nationalism espoused by Drudkh. Whatever. This is evil and infused with massive amounts of mythology and weirdness. 2007: De Occulta Philosophia (I think it translates to something like Pink Bunnies In Space). Get it.
After experiencing something as cryptic and evil as Blood of Kingu, it's probably best to cool down with some good, old-fashioned Christian rock. But not just any old Christian rock. I'm talking about "CHRISTIAN MELODIC EPIC RENAISSANCE MEDIEVAL APOCALYPTIC METAL", the kind played by William J. Tsamis (right) in his mostly one-man mid-90's project Lordian Guard. Wait a minute... Casio drumbeats? Corny solos? Disneyesque female vocals? Atmospheric keyboards? This is somehow everything bad about metal in general and everything good about Narration Metal all in the same place, at the same time! This is like Oxiplegatz, but with angels instead of aliens! This is terrible! This is amazing!
Who can I blame for bringing this to my attention? Oh yes, HELM. Of course. It all makes sense now.
Did I mention that I'm a really nice guy? Because I am. I've chosen to share my Christian joy with all of you, via the awesomely-named Lordian Guard. That's right, today I present their ENTIRE DISCOGRAPHY: The self-titled 1995 debut (above) AND 1996's follow-up album Sinners In The Hands of An Angry God (left). Jesus Fucking Christ.
Really. You guys rule. Thanks again for the suggestions.
I tried to like Henry Cow. I really did. Superficially, they appeared to be just my "cup of tea", so to speak. They played the Rock In Opposition festivals with Univers Zero and Art Zoyd in the late 70's, they brandished "experimental composition" as a weapon against the vanguard of commercial artists rising to prominence in that decade, they talked the talk, they walked the walk. But I always just found their music a little too "jazzy", too mellow to fully blow my mind or sufficiently pump my nads. Such is not the case with Art Bears. Formed by half of Henry Cow after their dissolution (string guy Fred Frith, percussion guy Chris Cutler, and vocalist Dagmar Krause), the Bears embraced a much more "avant-garde" and skewed vision of rock and roll, following the experimental ideas they had explored in previous years out to their logical conclusions. The Henry Cow split was not a clean one, though, as the first Art Bears album (1978's Hopes And Fears) ended up featuring all of the Cow members, in an almost "split album" sort of set-up, presenting the last of their musical ideas created under that moniker. In effect, Winter Songs was the first "true" Art Bears album, and also their second-to-last (the band split up in 1981). But it's definitely a departure from the smooth jazz of Henry Cow, full of off-the-wall instrumentation, emotionless, almost surgical vocals from Krause, weird piano rumblings, guitar feedback, and out-of-place dissonance. One listen to the almost Melt-Banana-esque "Rats And Monkeys" will confirm that this was a band with their brains firmly dwelling in deep space. Psychedelic minimalist opera? Ren Faire on Quaaludes? Primordial Bjork fronting a malfunctioning, terminally injured jazz duo? Guilty on all counts. Enjoy.
Observe these four album covers. What do these bands have in common?
If you answered "They all rule" and/or "They have super kick-ass album covers", you are technically correct. But that's not actually the answer I was looking for.
The correct answer is this: all of these bands often forego traditional "heavy metal vocals" in favor of spoken passages over their music, telling stories rather than singing them. Welcome to the wacky world of NARRATION METAL.
Illogical Contraption has successfully identified and named musical genres in the past (RENROCK, anyone?), and that's why we're here again today. Narration Metal comes in many different sub-genres, which we will discuss below. But it is the storytelling that unites the genre, the solemn recitation of text over rippin' metal, whether it be symphonic power metal, blasting black metal, or dual-guitar NWOBHM.
We all know about The Lord Weird Slough Feg already. I wrote a pretty enormous post about them recently, breaking down the myriad mythologies -- often from comic books or role-playing games -- that they base their lyrical content on. They are nerds, long story short, and an absolutely shredding metal band to boot. What I didn't mention in the duration of that epic piece, though, was that Slough Feg often dabbles in the realm of Narration Metal. For example: Check out "The Great Ice Wars" from Twilight of The Idols (listen HERE while you read along HERE - the good stuff starts at about 4:30) or "Traders and Gunboats" from Down Among The Deadmen (above - listen HERE while you read along HERE - good stuff about parsecs and space travel at 1:30). I don't know if it's just my own inherent nerdiness, but these short segments of monotone speech really add an extra element of "AWESOME" to a song for me, transforming it from a mere "track" to an actual "tale" set to music. Perhaps it is an acquired taste.
You fuckers should really acquire it.
Another band with an entirely different take on Narration Metal is Inquisition, who were featured here on IC last week. Inquisition's version is more of a stylistic approach to their vocal delivery, with singer Dagon croaking out his stories about Satan in a simultaneously whiny and bassy oration. The vocals stay more or less in cadence with the music, a characteristic that differs from most of the other artists featured here, and Inquisition even adds some "standard" black metal screeching here and there. But this is definite Narration Metal, as it is their oddly lackadaisical and monotone manner of singing that sets Inquisition apart from the black metal hordes.
Get their 2002 album Invoking The Majestic Throne of SatanHERE or 1998's Into the Infernal Regions of the Ancient Cult (above left) on Thulsa Doom. Evil, nerdy, brutal, and corny all at the same time. Narration Metal at its best.
Another experiment in extreme metal nerdiness is Bal-Sagoth (above), a long-running British band who recite tales straight out of Lovecraft, Edgar Rice Burroughs, and Robert Howard over complex, keyboard-infused, blackened speed/death/symphonic grind. Vocalist Byron Roberts (nice Batman hat, Bro), while occasionally lapsing into more "standard" metal-vocal styles, most often speaks the lyrics of his songs in a powerful, reverbed baritone, almost reminiscent of Christopher Lee. The stories in Bal-Sagoth's music are fascinating, detailed accounts of magic and high adventure set in mystical places like Atlantis, Lemuria, and Mu, and are EXACTLY the type of stuff ALL metal bands should write about. These guys are perhaps the finest example of Narration Metal we will discuss today, a completely, ridiculously dorky juggernaut who wear their affection for literature and storytelling proudly upon their frilly sleeves.
IllCon actually published a Bal-Sagoth triple feature on the second day of our existence. Our love affair with this band has been a long and fruitful one, indeed. You can go back and check it out, or just download the albums and research them at your leisure.
Highly recommended stuff if you are into weird fantasy, the Cthulhu Mythos, Emperor, or The Lord of The Rings.
Speaking of LoTR, what about those leather-pantsed LARPers in Rhapsody (of Fire)? These guys are Narration Metal pioneers as well, and display the same on-again, off-again propensity for spoken interludes as Slough Feg. You want nerdy, Italian-accented (and slightly lisped) tales of trolls, wizards, unicorns, mountains, and goblins interspersed with your balls-clutching, symphonic power metal? Rhapsody has you covered. Especially on Dawn of Victory, released back in 2000. That shit is EPIC. Get it HERE.
The problem is, Rhapsody figured out that Narration Metal = Awesome, and once they got the formula, they did it to DEATH. By 2006, the band decided that they would play "soundtrack metal" exclusively, and with the release of Symphony of Enchanted Lands Part II (above right) that same year, they drove the final nail into the Rhapsody coffin. They enlisted the narrative skills of the epically-voiced Christopher Lee for extensive voice-overs, but the problem was that they sacrificed their music to tell a story. It should have been a monumental success, but somehow, Enchanted Lands II was a misfire. Oh yeah, that was the same year they changed their name from just plain "Rhapsody" to "Rhapsody of Fire", as well. Too bad.
Anything pre-'06 is Narration Metal GOLD, though.
And speaking of Christopher Lee, anyone else heard his 2010 stab at Narration Metal, Charlemagne: By The Sword And The Cross? DUDE.
Apparently emboldened by his work with Rhapsody, Saruman Lee decided to put together this fully realized, orchestral rock/metal opera, telling the story of King Charlemagne's brutal exploits across medieval Europe. Lee sings (out of tune, off time, and creepy), Lee narrates, Lee is Charlemagne. Sure, it's more "opera" than "metal", but this train wreck of an album is completely fascinating, even when it's cringe-inducingly bad. Despite some crunchy guitars, it's mainly the subject matter that's metal here, though -- I mean, beheading 4,000 Saxons in one fell swoop? Chris Lee is FUCKING METAL.
Download it HERE (thanks to Bro Peter for the kick-down)(update: this album removed due to DMCA request.).
While we're speaking of super-metal subject matter AND narration, I have a couple of other treats to share with you guys. Whether or not these recordings are "Narration Metal" is debatable, but they are certainly "Metal Narration"...
How 'bout a books-on-tape version of Beowulf? Brutal shit, awesome story, download it HERE.
Anyone need Tales of The Norse Legends, as read by Benjamin Soames? That's a good one too. Download HERE.
(Thanks to Camellia, who I'm pretty sure hooked me up with both of these recordings years ago.)
TO ASGARD!
So there you have it. NARRATION METAL. Genre = Defined.
But surely there are dozens more bands exploring this genre. Why don't you tell me about them in the 'Comments' section?
“Dune. Desert Planet. Arrakis. WATER.” --Kyle McLaughlin, in Lynch’s Magnum Opus, Dune
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