Is it just me? I've read alot of reviews by alot of critics jizzing all over Nachmystium's new(ish) release, "Assassins: Black Meddle Part 1". I recently got a copy and slapped it into the trusty ol' ipod. Man, was I ever NOT blown away. Boring, mid-tempo black metal, half-assed vocals, and repetitive riffs, punctuated here and there by an ill-placed piano or saxophone riff. Dudes, leave the sax molestation to 'Let's Dance' era David Bowie! Yuck! Apparently, 'Assassins' is some sort of tribute to Pink Floyd's "Meddle" (hence the terrible pun in the title: Black "Meddle"! Get it?!), which I find (to paraphrase Wayne Campbell) "both bogus and sad". I guess the beardo hipsters love this undercooked claptrap, but they ain't foolin' ME. Nachmystium is weak sauce, and I can think of dozens of other "artsy" black metal bands that do it way better (Deathspell Omega, Arcturus, etc. etc.). The worst part is that the whole album is coated in this flanged-out warbly noise, as if to hide the fact that the music is, in fact, NOT that interesting. The one song I started to get into, "Omnivore", has a passable build-up that feels like it's going somewhere, only to leave you disappointed again, blueballed like a drunken frat boy going home alone at 4 a.m. Sorry, beardos. Maybe next time.
Christian from Project Runway: "This album is NOT FIERCE."
10 hours ago