Sunday, November 19, 2017

DEATH METAL DADS: EPISODE 30 - SONORAN DADPRAVATION (with CHASE MASON and NATE GARRETT)


In this week's scandalous sequence, the Dads venture into the basement-level dressing rooms of Slim's in San Francisco for a mid-evening tryst with Chase Mason and Nate Garrett (Gatecreeper, Spirit Adrift). The fetid foursome find favor, and float fetishized fallacies for a fervent fifty-five (f)minutes. Listen in, and be shocked by the episode's (literal) climax!
What else is in here? Observe: A Cuckhold Discussion/Cumming On The Baby, Joshua Bling Bling, Aesop Has To Pee, Shooting Up With Boz Scaggs, Shawn Doing Weed Stuff, Moustaches And Vaping And Lies And Fidget Spinners, The Power Trippin' Rabbi, The Cost of A Gold Tooth In 2017, Buying The DMD Bump, A Message To Mom, David Lynch With Down Syndrome, Tool Fans, Lurking Rob Barrett In The Alley In The Rain, Mormon Rules About Facial Hair, Brigham Young vs Bring 'Em Young, "Recommendations For You", The OTHER Chick From Vastum, Idris Elba vs Paul Baloff, Long And Hard (But Mostly Hard), Every Woman Sitting On A Cake, Cryptopsy Taco Supremacy, Group Chat Chat, Origins of The Pingy Snare, Herpes vs "Mic Rash", Attila's Traveling Hairstylist, If Gatecreeper Was A Movie, Lots of Rotting Meat On Set, White People In The Kitchen, The Spirit of Full Disclosure, The M. Night Shyamalan of Shameful Masturbation, Jessica Tandy's PornHub Page, Incriminating Talk About Meth, John Leguizamo Getting His Dick Stuck In A Bottle, Legitimately Weirded Out, Death Metal Drive Thru, The Heyday of Mediafire, LMFAO (Lick My Fuckin Ass Out), Chuck Norris/Chuck Taylor, A Total Candy-Ass, Hockey Without The Sticks, Michael Jordan's Hitler Moustache, Musings On Crud Wizard And Luxury Factory, Action Pants, Not "Drunk" Just "Right", Phantasm Bros, Cosmic Hearse + Methadone, The Wet Bandits, Riffs And Fists, Troll 2 And The Gorilla With The Jetpack, The Thing About Aesop And That Movie "Spun", and a complete lack of all normalcy or regular segments. Enjoy responsibly!
Music:
Gatecreeper, "Craving Flesh"
Spirit Adrift, "Curse of Conception"


DIRECT DL

Contact: illogicalcontraption@yahoo.com


NIGHTS AFTER DARK: EPISODE 95 - WHO CREATED THE SOY BOY?




Charles and I discuss the role of Military AI in controlling US politics, personal identity, and reality itself. This one goes deep!


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Sunday, November 12, 2017

DEATH METAL DADS: EPISODE 29 - DAD SILENCE (THE RETURN OF EUGENE ROBINSON)


Writer, fighter, singer, strangler, poet, and all-around badass Eugene Robinson (Oxbow, Whipping Boy, Bunuel, Ozy.com) welcomes the Dads back into his fortress of solitude for a spirited discussion about art, violence, sex, philosophy, and staying the fuck away from the headliner’s beer. Popeye the dog is also present.

Also nestled comfortably herein: Why Zeppelin Sucks, Horny Goat Weed, Racially Identifying As “Television”, In Need of A Skilled Cocksman, The Harvey Weinstein Seven, Aesop’s Porn Appearance, Craft Services, The Case of The Missing Stripper Pole, Cum And Ladders, Guys Who Can Fight, The Huff Huff Woof Woof Thing, Those Competitions Where They Put A Leather Vest On A Dog And Then Strap A Pallet of Cinderblocks To The Vest And Then The Dog Drags Them Around, Dubbed In Spanish, That Wolf From Looney Toons With The Bugged-Out Eyes, Why Tarantino Sucks, Plagiarism And Pedophilia, A Black Guy With A Saxophone, Giving Guns To Depressed Kids For Christmas, Max’s Kansas City: A Lesson In False Advertising, Real Creep Shit, The Department of Parks And Recreation And Fistfighting, ‘Les Miserables’ Except Set In A Punk House, The Exploding Meth Lab, Stealing Riffs From Robert Deathrage, The Meat Shits/Anal Cunt Split, Obituary Hat Chat, Hittin’ On A Dead Nun, Peep Show Secrets, “Good Incubus” Vs. “Bad Incubus”, Spoilers About Darth Vader, A 14" Sharpened Screwdriver With A Taped Handle, Jerking Off In Houseplants, Impending News About Burl Ives, Harvey Milk And Eggs And Wine And Gravy And Pancakes, Breen Day, The Tardy Brothers’ Cat Rescue, Keeping The Party Polite, The Shitty Dude Algorithm, Slipping Mother Theresa The Tongue, The DMD Bump, The Reverse DMD Bump, and, of course, Fatherly Advice. What an episode!

Music:

Obituary, “Dead Silence”

Alice Donut, “Mummenschantz Pachinko”

Oxbow, “Cold And Well-Lit Place”




DIRECT DL

Also contained in this episode is audio of the Death Metal Dads’ live appearance (also with Eugene) at the Illogical Contraption Post-Halloween Decompression Fiasco Weds, Nov 1, at the Punchline in SF. Video coming soon!

Contact: illogicalcontraption@yahoo.com

Sunday, November 5, 2017

NIGHTS AFTER DARK: EPISODE 94 - 3 SIMPLE RULES FOR HUNTING MY TEENAGE YETI




Trump and His Meteor Wall / The Warren Buffett-Jimmy Buffett Continuum / Goosebumps Synthwave / Yeti Hunting in Nepal / Joan Baez and Her Satanic Ritual Abuse Songs / Cuban Sonic Weapon Audio / Stranger Things Question / Mystery Babylon


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Email: nightsafterdark@gmail.com

Sunday, October 29, 2017

DEATH METAL DADS: EPISODE 28 - EVIL DAD

The Dads are back after a long absence, and dive into a veritable treasure trove of Floridian folklore, spanning the dirty basements that spawned Death to the cocaine-crusted speedboats fearlessly captained by Jimmy Buffett. Also more Sweatpants Chat.

Further pontifications as follows: Oh, The Huge Manatee, The TV That You Watch The News On That Is Also On The News On TV, A Furious Rant About Dickholes And Buttflaps, A Requiem For Tom Petty, Rat Weed And Playgrounds, DMD Gets A New Recording Device, How Many Marleys?, The Inert Police Force of Colorado Springs, Colorado, That Thing That Happened With The Dick Pics And The Oakland Police Department, Lieutenant Joe Kenda Always Gets His Man, How To Not Make Friends And Not Influence People, Interdimensional Lovecraft Portal Shit, Sunn Ra))), Alameda: Where The Past And The Future Collide, Supportive Funky Kong ASMR Videos, Friendly Crackheads, YOU'RE NO PRIZE!, Listener "Rod" And The Sweatpants Conundrum, Blood Duster: Season 12 Material, Euro Porn Dudes, A Cautionary Tale, Real-Ass Trainheads, Huey Lewis' Cock, Militia Etheridge, The Artimus Pyle Defense, Death The Band Vs. Death The Activity, Aesop's Connection To The Hijackers Responsible For 9/11, Head Parrothead, Stories of The Intercoastal Waterway, Manatees: The Morons of The Sea, A 40 Dollar Coke-Booger, The Thrill-Seeking Teens of Hollywood, Florida, A Lot of Talk About John Hand, Freeway Rick Rozz, Death Metal Grandpas, 6 Months of Community College And The Resulting Consumption of Hot Pockets, An Angular, Spindley, Fucked Up Thing, Aura Noir Cologne, The Mind Lamp, Shelby Getting Exposed As A Total Hippie, Dad Sex, The DMD Bump, and, as always, Fatherly Advice. Be nice to dogs!

Music:

Death, "Evil Dead"

Manilla Road, "Flaming Metal System",



DIRECT DL

Contact: illogicalcontraption@yahoo.com

CATCH THE DEATH METAL DADS LIVE THIS WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 1ST, AT THE ILLOGICAL CONTRAPTION POST-HALLOWEEN DECOMPRESSION FIASCO AT THE PUNCHLINE SF!

Sunday, October 15, 2017

NIGHTS AFTER DARK: EPISODE 93 - LEGENDS OF THE MOTHMAN




Come along with me and special guest WILL as we explore the history of the Mothman and the Flatwoods Monster (with a detour into the Men in Black), discuss famous encounters, and pull it all together by exposing the possible driving force behind the recent rash of sightings in Chicago. It's a wild ride!


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MOTHMAN TSUNAMI VIDEOS:




Email: nightsafterdark@gmail.com

Sunday, October 1, 2017

NIGHTS AFTER DARK: EPISODE 92 - H.A.A.R.P. ROCK




Featuring Such Classic Hits As: What Does A Lady Bigfoot Smell Like? / Loose Change Jackpot / Parrothead Parties / Weather Modification Jams / Star Trek Occultism / Woke Ass Jim Carrey / DMT Machine


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Sunday, September 17, 2017

DEATH METAL DADS: EPISODE 27 - TO THE CORY END (with CORY SKLAR)


Join The 27 Club with The Dads as they welcome their best friend (and father of modern podcasting) Cory Sklar (Chaki, the internationally-renowned Illogical Contraption Radio) to the show, in a dark and subtly nuanced conversation about fucking couches, doing blow, slapping bass, and dodging nukes. Will they find the creamy center of Cory's brain, and figure out what makes this funky balladeer's inner time bomb tick? Your guess is as good as mine!

Also infernally exalted herein: Playing Megadeth Covers In A Hungry Hunter In 2030, A Guy That Needs A Pocket Pussy, Lox of Love, Moving To A Monastery And Making Dungeon Synth, Can I Fuck Your Kids First?, Brown Nazis, Snorting Coke With The Guy From Iron Butterfly, Great Moments In Guns N Roses Bloopers History, Delivering A Goat Head To The Oakland Metro, Sunny Day Real Estate Agents, Mall Metal, Ken M In The Yahoo Comments, Ted McGinley: Horseman of the Apocalypse, No Snow No Show, Ian From Skrewdriver, Talking About Jawbreaker In 2017, Bumblefoot Chat, The Goth Onion, Trey Azagthoth's Pancakes, Sleep Are Still Playing, Supportive Pit Dad, The Dave Murray Color Chart, Penis Injuries, A Cacophony of Dead Musicians AKA The Ungodly Racket, A Requiem For Metal Inquisition, Bedroom Shredders, Happy Suffocation, Rivetheads, Really Nice Guys, Self-Addressed Stamped Envelopes, Crying At A Promise Ring Show For A Whole Different Reason, Are You #Triggered?, Every Other House Is Racist, Beastmaster Stuff (The Ferrets Will Save Him), C-Level vs Sea Level, Your Led Zeppelins And Your Mick Jaggers, A Lot of Cadillacs On The Block And Fringe Jackets, A Whole Lifetime of Fabricating Pussies, Girlfriend (For A Night), Quinn/Martin Productions, The Proper Plural of Abacus, Moustache Wives, The Best Possible Outcome, Na'Vi Fleshlights, Sweatpants In The Wild, Bob Eubanks Scoring Weed, A Dog That Loads Gear, Tech Death Athleticism, Bizarro-World Clickbait, The Guy That Shot Alexander Hamilton, Getting Kicked Out of The Elks Club In Snoqualmie Falls, Prison Vagina, Judging Disabled Children, Send Us Dildos!, Metal Nerds, Frank Mullen: The DMD Jackalope, The Great Milenko, Aliens And Bigfoots, Missing The 90s, The Monty Python of Death Metal (Just Less Entertaining), Is Death An "Ailment"?, Living In A Castle Like Enya, Florida Springsteen, The Kiwanis Club, Enough Hate For Burners AND Nazis, The DMD Bump, and, as always, Fatherly Advice. It's a solid "also-ran"!

Music:

Cancer, "CFC"

The Hook, "Son of Fantasy II"



DIRECT DL

Contact: illogicalcontraption@yahoo.com

NIGHTS AFTER DARK: EPISODE 91 - MAKING FRIENDS AND INFLUENCING PEOPLE WITH CHARLES




Hurricane weather modification warfare / Secret space laser arms race / Face modeling on the iPhone X / The shortcomings of simulated reality / Religious implications of technological advancement / Exposing information and control of the internet / Google censorship / Global financial war motive behind Equifax hack / Extreme astrological happenings in September


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Email: nightsafterdark@gmail.com

Sunday, September 3, 2017

DEATH METAL DADS: EPISODE 26 - A PALE DADBILITATING AUTUMN (with SCOTT VERMEIRE)


In today's exhaustive expulsion of erratic estimations, the Dads are joined in the loud and stinky bowels of the Oakland Music Complex by comedian, weirdo, vocalist, and fellow dad Scott Vermeire (Sad Vicious, Talkies). After a couple shots of Jeppson's Malort, the conversation quickly turns to sadness and desperation, culminating in the cathartic howls of grown men paying tortured obeisance to their own quiet mortality. Dick jokes too!

Also contained within these cursed 80 minutes: An Awkward Encounter, One Million Tugs, Vaudeville!, The Traditional Consumption of Regional Liqueurs and Resulting Regrets (Two-Fisted Enthusiasm), Endless Elder Archons, Blowing Hobos, Fetish-Inclusive Boner Chat, When The Lights Go Out In The Practice Space, A Dickensian Gig, The Menstrual Hut, Rastafarians And Naughty Dogs, Fretless Bass Corrections Officers, The Thing That Happened At Sketchfest AKA Comedy Sucks, A Vicious Bicycle From Minnesota, The Return of The Thing About The Dog And The Peanut Butter, Investing Time And Money In Specifically Non-Marketable Entertainment Ventures, The Radley Metzger Story (A Vigorous Beej), MESSAGETRIBE!, The Smell of the Rag That The Uncle Used, A Small World, A Big Mistake, Yelling Things On Public Transportation, The World Is A Vampire, Recently-Incinerated Piles of Cash Having Sex, Dick Polaroids, The Guy With The Puppets, Really Great Rallies, A Shout Out To Kaseem Bentley, What Burns Always Returns, Breakin' On Through, A Lot of Talk About Shnarch, Shoplifting With A Broken Arm, Getting Drunk At A Wedding And Misplacing Your Child, The Jackoff Cone, True Confessions, The Return of Borscht Belt Comedy, Pornography And Telephones, Pun Guys, Nude Dads, Totebaggin', Lord Iffybottom And The Bawdy Tale of The Naked Chicken Chalupa, Jerkin' It To 'Barry Lyndon', Huggalos, Feeding The Sea Monkeys, A Little Horse, Why There Aren't Any Asian People In The Bay Area, Dad Sex, Unintentional Fatherly Advice, and, as always, the DMD Bump. We're tired of doing this!

Music:

Pavor, "Corpses"

Chaki, "Tired of Sex"


Contact: illogicalcontraption@yahoo.com