Sunday, August 20, 2017

DEATH METAL DADS: EPISODE 25 - WHO WILL NOT BE DAD (with GREG WILKINSON)


Join the Dads as they celebrate their quarter-century episode deep in the dank dungeons of Earhammer Studios, with none other than its proprietor and sole beneficiary Greg Wilkinson (Brainoil, DeathgraVe). Things get weird fast and everyone involved becomes very uncomfortable. Will the Dads get out alive?! 

Also discussed: Unexplained Swelling, The Removal of Testament-Related Memories, Oxiplegatz Chatz, Two Thirty-Gallon Trashcans Full of Empty Olympias (Courtesy of Schlong), Spiking Our Downloads By Just Dying, Nasty Sax, A Klean Kanteen Full of Urine, The Unhinged Guy From Pavor/Bethlehem, Graves At Seaside, Podcast of the Year Material, Skydiving Without A Parachute, A Totally Forgettable Recording Experience, Pig Champion On A Diet, Sacramento Jack Lemmon, The Italian Word For "Viagra", Please, My Father Was Mr. Brainoil, Grampas of Sludge, Party Fouls, Thomas Hatin' Church, Evanescencey Lady-Singing, Cambodian Food, Just "Pibb", Kids These Days And Their "Internet Memes", Chad Gailey's Green Card, Day of the Dad, Awesome Lawnmowers, The Other Deicide, Emailing From Five Feet Away, Origins of the Dickhammer, Camping With Fern, Too Extreme! vs Extreme 2, Lobotomized, Phlebotomized, Band Tinder, Fretless Bass, A Zornesque Element, You're Invited! (In Spirit), "I'll Suck Your Dick For An Old Tin Can", by Stevie Nicks and Tom Petty, Scene Luminaries, What You Can And Can't Be Proud Of, Showin' Some Ankle, Exit The Void, Closing Lots of Pornhub Tabs, Goatcunt, Terms of Endearment, Those Knuckleheads in Congress, Part 7, Diminutive Skinsman Ira Harris, Tone Boners, Alternative Rock And The Alt-Right, An Elvis Impersonator That Pisses On You, Sex Solicitation, Don't Be A Possum, You CAN Be Replaced, Listener Emails, The DMD Bump, and, of course, Fatherly/Gregerly Advice. It's a solid B minus!

Music:

Seance, "Who Will Not Be Dead"

DeathgraVe, "Seeping Through The Shoebox"

The Dads will be performing LIVE as part of the annual Illogical Contraption Halloween Special Wednesday, November 1st at the Punchline in San Francisco!

Contact: illogicalcontraption@yahoo.com


(PS: Debra Winger Dies At The End.)

NIGHTS AFTER DARK: EPISODE 89 - SPHINX MILLER BAND




Tune in and let me explain the Anubis Sphinx Theory, Disney's UFO disinfo campaign (including an unadvertised documentary and an unattended conference), some Wizard of Oz Mandela Effect weirdness, and Trump’s spiritual connection to Journey. Ok? Ok.


Direct Download
Listen on Stitcher
Subscribe on iTunes

Check out our NEW ILLCON SITE

Email: nightsafterdark@gmail.com

Sunday, August 13, 2017

DEATH METAL DADS: EPISODE 24 - CHAOS D.A.D. (with PRANJAL TIWARI)


In today’s salacious and enthralling installment, the Dads are joined by ultra-homie Pranjal Tiwari for a jocular journey full of tantalizing tales, disingenuous diatribes, and superlative stories. It’s a outre odyssey of  prolific proportions!
Also contained herein: Brazilian Fart Girls vs Cakefarts, How To Say “Sepultura”, Altar de Faygo, Don’t Be Sad About Celtic Frost, Riot Porn vs Poverty Porn vs Siqq Riff Porn, A Special Message For People Without Eyes, Aesop’s YouTube Hacks, The (Pod)Casting Couch, A Celebration of Our 100th Episode, Out of Dads, Cleaning Up The Dismembered Pig Fetus, The Clawfinger Problem, Polish Metal Beef, A Long Meandering Story About Cunty Dudes Who Don’t Understand How Money Works, Os Mutantes and Stan Getz and Brazil Nuts and Terry Gilliam’s ‘Brazil’, A Shout Out To The Pubes On The Back of ‘Cold Lake’, Supporting A Family By Touring With A Mediocre Death Metal Band, Don’t Call That Mexican A Mexican, “Troops of Doom”: The “Freebird” of Metal, Every Band In China Is A Children of Bodom Cover Band, Cherry Orchard Chat, The Good Ol’ Days of Colonialism, That Time On July 1, 1997, When Hong Kong Became ‘The Purge’ For Half An Hour, Tom Hanks Movies About Dudes With AIDS, Taking The Kids To See ‘A Serbian Film’, Elven Aerosmith: Dreams vs Reality, That Old Hobbit Who Does Sound at The Dive Bar in Vegas, Bro-piercer, Alien Fresh Jerky, Weird Al’s Underground Record Label, This Whole Nuclear Holocaust Thing, “The Vasectomy Didn’t Work”, The Panda Express Located In Shelby’s Back Yard, At The Gates: Corporate McDonald’s-Sponsored Eyeliner Mallcore Crap, The Solar-Powered Flashlight, These Colors Don’t Run, A Whole House Full of DMD Money, Puppy Diarrhea, A Guy In A Banana Suit In The Pit, Six People Paid At The Door, Bay Area Quasi-Nazi Metal Legends Blitzenhammer AKA SS Dagger, The DMD Bump, and of course Fatherly Advice. This one is a solid ground-rule double!
Music:
Sepultura, “Propaganda”
Cardinal Wyrm, “Dreams of Teeth”
Contact: illogicalcontraption@yahoo.com

Sunday, July 30, 2017

DEATH METAL DADS: EPISODE 23 - GRAVES OF THE FATHERS


Shelby and Aesop are back on the couch with Episode 23 (NOT 24), a philosophical exploration of all things political, gastrointestinal, musical, nautical, nonsensical, and psychedelic. Is it worth your time? There's only one way to find out...

"Sextons of the churchyard
Have seen unblessed things;
Ground no longer hallowed
Has sprouted new graves.


Descendants of clan
That unsurped maternity
hear whispers in their blood;
This summons of the Fathers.



Adherence to the principle
Of 'man by woman born'...
Anachronistic ritual
Soon to be obsolete.



'Forgive me Father
For I know not what I do;
My grave beckons
As irresistable as drawing breath.'"

- Lord Worm

"Bleh"

- also Lord Worm

Music:

Cryptopsy, "Graves of the Fathers"

Night Sun, "Got A Bone of My Own"






Contact: illogicalcontraption@yahoo.com

NIGHTS AFTER DARK: EPISODE 88 - ERIK EXPLAINS IT ALL




I explain it all.


Direct Download
Listen on Stitcher
Subscribe on iTunes

Check out our NEW ILLCON SITE

Email: nightsafterdark@gmail.com

Sunday, July 16, 2017

NIGHTS AFTER DARK: EPISODE 87 - THE AVERAGE IDEA GRAVEYARD




Erik is flying solo again! Topics include: Pandering To The Left, The Detroit Masonic Temple, This Day In Conspiracy History, Real Actual Pagan Witchcraft, Photon Teleportation, Buzz Aldrin's Illuminati Signs, Satanic Literary Corner, and More!


Direct Download
Listen on Stitcher
Subscribe on iTunes

Check out our NEW ILLCON SITE

Make me feel special: nightsafterdark@gmail.com

Monday, July 3, 2017

DEATH METAL DADS: EPISODE 22 - CHAINSAW DADSMEMBERMENT


I'm fucking tired of doing these write-ups. It's late and I have to work in the morning. We talk about Mortician in this one and then get all bummed. Listen to it, or don't. We don't fucking care. Cheers.

Music:

Mortician: "Chainsaw Dismemberment"

Thrones: "Obolus"

SOUNDCLOUD



DIRECT DL

Contact: illogicalcontraption@yahoo.com

Sunday, July 2, 2017

NIGHTS AFTER DARK: EPISODE 86 - THE WACK LODGE AND THE TIGHT LODGE




Join Cory and Erik as we DORK THE FUCK OUT about the new season of Twin Peaks, reveal the gnostic, magickal, and alchemical underpinnings of Episode 8, and dissect the occult mythology of the entire series. Fire walk with us!


Direct Download
Listen on Stitcher
Subscribe on iTunes

Check out our NEW ILLCON SITE

Drink deep and email: nightsafterdark@gmail.com

Sunday, June 18, 2017

NIGHTS AFTER DARK: EPISODE 85 - AMERICAN ASTROLOGY AND OTHER HOT ISSUES




Are you CONFUSED by your own reality? Then put your faith in the stars and allow me and Charles to explain to you why all these horrible things are happening! We dissect the astrology of Donald Trump and America itself, and make some BOLD PREDICTIONS about the future of the country. Tune in!


Direct Download
Listen on Stitcher
Subscribe on iTunes

Check out our NEW ILLCON SITE

What's your sign? nightsafterdark@gmail.com

Sunday, June 4, 2017

DEATH METAL DADS: EPISODE 21 - SUFFER THE CHILDREN (with Jason Cropper)


The Dads are barely holding it together, and enter a marriage-counseling office in Jingletown, USA, to see if they can miraculously salvage their podcast. Assisting them is engineer, dad, and founding member of Weezer Jason Cropper, whose indispensable advice and knowledge just might heal Death Metal Dads. Can the show be saved?!
Also on the menu: Fusion Confusion, Rockabillypocalypse, Legal Weed in Mayberry, Tissue Issues, Hobo Hand-Me-Downs, Hakuna Matata vs Napalm Death, Philosophical Explanations of Mr. Ed and Gilligan’s Island, The Power Station (Sex Club), The Power Station (Concert Venue), Cleaning Up After Dogstar, Not Playing Metal: The Path To Success, A Re-Visiting of The Barney Greenway The Big Purple Dinosaur Joke, Not Even “Milton Berle Good”, Just Eat Bugs Like In The Lion King, George Glass, Shitler’s List, A Friendly Conversation Between Friends, His Wife’s Magic Pussy, Crimpshrine Chat, Mendocino County Reggae Bands of the Late 80s and Early 90s, Schwarzenegger Soundboards and How They Are Used, Kurzweil, Jung, Freud, and Francis The Talking Mule, Blastbeats, French-Cambodian Cuisine, Getting Pitted, Funktown Graffiti and How Aesop Names Neighborhoods, Psychedelic Warriors, The ‘Judgement Night’ Soundtrack, The Colors of Weezer, Progressive Shred, Chris Cornell’s Starbucks Order, Fuzz, Gazzari’s, TV’s ‘Beauty And The Beast’ Starring Ron Perlman, Anti-Semitism, Unrepentant Potheads, I Can’t Drive 25, Head Injuries, Fatherly Advice, and a very dead-people themed DMD Bump. Get trippy!
Music:
Napalm Death, “Suffer The Children”
Piero Umiliani, “Magical Children”

Contact: illogicalcontraption@yahoo.com