Sunday, December 18, 2016

NIGHTS AFTER DARK: EPISODE 73 - FAILED SACRIFICE OF THE YEAR




Have you been feeling CONFUSED recently? Has reality CRUMBLED around you? Don’t panic! Just sit back, relax, and let Charles and I expose the occultic deep state engines driving the chaos of the world, and why Kim Kardashian of all fucking people is the lynchpin holding everything together.


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Emails go here: nightsafterdark@gmail.com

Sunday, December 4, 2016

DEATH METAL DADS: EPISODE 13 - UNQUESTIONABLE PRESENTS (A Non-Denominational Christmas Miracle with Jackie Perez-Gratz & AJ Gregory)



Pour yourself a nog and stuff those stockings--it's a brand new top-secret Holiday episode of DMD featuring Jackie Perez-Gratz (Giant Squid, Grayceon, Amber Asylum) and Aaron John Gregory (Giant Squid, Khorada, Squalus)!
It's a wacky, family-friendly thrill ride, with lots of silly chat about topics such as: Abortion, Intra-uterine Cannibalism, Child Murder, Nazis, Terrorism, Large Men Having Sex In Small Toyota Paseos, Prehistoric Sharks, Jimmy Buffett Metal, Laundry Day Metal, Cocaine, Winters Tavern, Midriff-Baring Shirts, Really Short Jogging Shorts, Green Jelly, Jello Biafra, Cello Biafra, Green Cello, Izzy Stradling, Yanni DiFranco, Sensible Footwear, Dental Hygiene, Impolite Off-Mic Chatter From Both Ezra The Producer And Pepper The Infant, Listener Emails, Dad Sex, The DMD Bump, and of course, everyone's favorite segment, Fatherly/Motherly Advice. Have a listen, won't you?
Music:

Atheist, "Mother Man"

Giant Squid, "Neonate"





DIRECT DL

Contact the Dads: illogicalcontraption@yahoo.com

NIGHTS AFTER DARK: EPISODE 72 - LOOKING FOR OWLS




Wow it’s a solo show! Subjects rambled about include: Listener Corrections, Jesus’s True God, Timewave Zero and the Transcendental Object At The End Of Time, Tarot Cards on the 2017 Economist, and Operation Werewolf! It's a wholesome good time for the whole family. Minimal swears. (But still a few swears.)


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MESSAGE ME IF YOU DARE: nightsafterdark@gmail.com

Sunday, November 27, 2016

NIGHTS AFTER DARK: EPISODE 71 - THE LIGHT BEHIND THE WALL




Tune on, turn out, and drop in as Charles and I pull back the curtain to reveal the physical and metaphysical engines driving the chaos of your present reality. Not gonna spoil the surprises, but this one goes hard in the paint.


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MESSAGE NAD: nightsafterdark@gmail.com

Sunday, November 13, 2016

NIGHTS AFTER DARK: EPISODE 70 - THANKS VOODOO




So you think that the Illuminati isn’t real? That our last three presidents haven’t been Satanists? That voodoo magic didn't cause the Trump presidency? Come down here with me, I’ll show you some shit.


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Sunday, November 6, 2016

DEATH METAL DADS: EPISODE 12 - DAD-MILICH


Rejoice! Shelby is back from tour and Aesop is willing to take a break from posting pictures of records on Instagram for just long enough to record another (guestless) episode of DMD! Shit gets hairy in this one, so strap in for a thrill ride of epic proportions...

Discussed herein: Sex Bigots, Grabbin' Pussies To W.A.S.P., Manowar Chat, Aesop Flaking on Work, A Follow-Up Email From "Porky Pig" re: List-Metal, Alcest vs. Incest, Mortiishead, "You Were Conceived To 'The Bleeding', Son", A Discussion Regarding DMD Signature Headwear, Goat Semen: Literally The Siqqest Shirt Ever, The Karl Sanders Story, Hand Relief, 3 Hours of Demilich Chat Lost To The Ages, Harri From Hooded Menace: Body Count Superfan, The ACTUAL String Cheese Incident, Shelby: A Compass That Always Points Toward Panic! At The Disco, Are You Pro- or Antti-Boman?, Bricks, Minifigs, And The Portland of Things, Shelby Using The Word "Tertiary" Correctly, 500 Bucks at BevMo, A Weird Meth-y Logger, Glen Benton: The Dayton, Ohio of People, Strong Politics, Spicy Opinions, Shitloads of Dad Sex & Listener Emails, plus, as always, The DMD Bump and Fatherly Advice. Also included: Live audio from the Dads' appearance at the Punchline in SF as part of the Illogical Contraption Satanic Black Metal Halloween Ritual! It's a solid-ass episode from start... To FINNISH!

Music:

Demilich, "The Cry"
Roky Erickson, "White Faces"





Contact us: illogicalcontraption@yahoo.com

*SEE BELOW TO FOLLOW ALONG WITH IMAGES FROM THE PUNCHLINE APPEARANCE*




Sunday, October 30, 2016

NIGHTS AFTER DARK: EPISODE 69 - INSIDE OUTSIDE BASEBALL




Join Shelby, Al, and Erik for some real straight talk as we wrap up the IllCon Satanic Halloween Comedy Ritual, discuss the nuts and bolts of our super advanced comedy theory, recount the Kubrick exhibit, hit or shit David Icke’s son’s music, and watch in horror as Shelby drinks a pint of tequila in under an hour. WARNING: no actual conspiracy theories are discussed.


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ALL EMAILS GO HERE: nightsafterdark@gmail.com

Sunday, October 16, 2016

NIGHTS AFTER DARK: EPISODE 68 - GOTTA WAKE 'EM UP




Join me on a mystical journey where we debunk reality simulations with something even stranger, get heavy with Wikileaks leaks, fuck with new Mandela Effect possibilities, and reveal plans for the coming Illuminati space nation. Come along, if you can handle the truth.


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If you want to join our space nation: nightsafterdark@gmail.com

Sunday, October 2, 2016

DEATH METAL DADS: EPISODE 11 - UNLEASHED... UPON DADKIND (WITH SHANE BAKER)


In October's delightful and extra MEATY episode, the Dads are joined by fellow father and rock vocalist Shane Baker (Alaric, Eerie, Pins of Light, Dead And Gone) for a lengthy and informative discussion about Bolt Thrower, dolmas, television, dumb kids, and the Billy Joel hit "We Didn't Start The Fire". But there's so much more!

Also discussed herein: The Strip Club At The Edge of Town, Not Exactly Fucking, Van Hayward, Matt Shapiro's Dick, Family Nudity, "Conceptually Awesome" Bands, Taliban vs Mall Cop, Transmissions From Planet Parmesan, Turkey Tetrazzini, Ambrosia Salad, Cool-Ass Space Orcs, Greek Sushi, 14 Years In 14 Minutes, Hitler And Aliens, Roger The Piano Man, The Ominous Scent of Ben Gay And Metamucil, Gallagher AD, The George Costanza of Death Metal Dads, Jews on TV, Who Would Win?, Danish Vocalist Florandia Suppenhausen, Long-Box CDs, Color Me Dadd, Cassingle Listenin', Another Bad Malevolent Kreayshawn, A Live Commentary On A Live Commentary, "Local" Bands, List Rock vs Indian Rock, Karl Sanders Checking His AOL Account Onstage, Dollar Store Cannibal Corpse, French Poetry And Rim Jobs, That Dog Is Sick of Peanut Butter!, Getting Advice From Pizza Boxes And Snapple Caps, Hashtag Hashbrowns, Imps of the Perverse: The Tell-Tale Subway Sandwich, Doctor Who Cares?, Cumming In Public: Morality vs Law, Ghost Dad 2: Son of Ghost Dad, Cowboy vs RoboCop vs Bag of Tube socks, The DMD Bump, Fatherly Advice, and A Complete Lack of Dad Sex. It's a real barn-burner, this one. So kick back, relax, and don't worry about catching that bus. There's always another one.

Music:

Bolt Thrower, "Unleashed... Upon Mankind"

Alaric, "Demon"

iTUNES
STITCHER
SOUNDCLOUD



DIRECT DL

Contact: illogicalcontraption@yahoo.com

Editor's note: The cigarrette guy from Star Wars' name is Elan Sleazebaggano. No, seriously.

NIGHTS AFTER DARK: EPISODE 67 - WOULD YOU COULD YOU ON A PODCAST?




Topics Include: Weird Warnings / I Am Truthor / You Can’t Handle The Proof / The Girlfriend Represents My Mind / Bohemian Grove Votes Third Party / Meme Magick Of The Alt Right / Baal’s Back / The Program Is Self-Correcting / Question The Reality Of Questioning Reality / Black Slime Creeping Over DC


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Would You? Could You? nightsafterdark@gmail.com

Sunday, September 18, 2016

DEATH METAL DADS: EPISODE 10 - DAD-SCANTING THE IN-SON-LUBRIOUS (with JASON WALTON)


In today's raunchy and scandalous episode, Jason Walton (Agalloch, Especially Likely Sloth, Celestial, Frankie Goes To Hollywood, Self-Spiller, etc) divulges sordid details about Aesop's past, gets candid about raising weird daughters, and slings insults at Shelby as if they'd met before or something. It's fucked up!


If you like to relax during entertainment, spoilers for you as follows: The O.F.P., Jeff Walker's Cowboy Hat, Professor Harry And The DMD Signature Fuckstyle, How To Build A Wooden Toilet, Deeply Moved By The Events of 9/11, Of Mirrors And Distressed Manatees, Fog Machines And The Resulting Digestional Tract Issues (Can You Sign This?), All Aboard America (Another Train Gang Bang), Making Out With One-Armed Mary, Happy Birthday Calvyn (Here's Your Invoice!), "Goodbye You Old Stinky Asshole!", How Hickey Killed Tupac, Buckets, Tarps, and Bodily Fluids, Glen Benton: DMD Arch-Nemesis, Bill Steer's Guide To Gentle Lovemaking, Weird Old Grind Dudes, The Thing About The Rest Stop, What The Fuck Is That Guy Running From?, What Aesop Does Like A Sailor, #SceneBeef,  Confusion About Corys, Pitching vs Catching in the Heavy Metal Gay World, Canadian Angel Dust, Feeding The Baby feat. Mystifier, Idyllic Punk Bass Player Parenting, Gross Coffee Noises feat. A Gross Burp, Roommates Showing Up Early, Slovenian Bullshit, False Leg Cramps, Involuntary Abstinence, Fake Ejaculate Mustard, Killing Your Sex Partner feat. A Sick Eyepatch, Siqq Salt Lake City Shows, What's Your Point?, and Swiss Racial Tension! All this plus The DMD Bump, Fatherly Advice, Dad Sex, Listener Emails, Hotel Keys, High Life, and Laffs Galore! Tune in numbnuts, you're gonna die soon!

Music:

Carcass, "Lavaging Expectorate Of Lysergide Composition"
Jeff Walker Und Die Fluffers, "End of The World"


iTUNES
STITCHER
SOUNDCLOUD


DIRECT DL

email us for bad sex advice: illogicalcontraption@yahoo.com

NIGHTS AFTER DARK: EPISODE 66 - ALIEN RESOURCES




Join your hosts Drunk Al and Drunk Erik on a podcast journey that ranges from sports superstitions to psychedelics to the extraterrestrial origins of chess to to the ESL conspiracy metal of Carlos Spartacus. Disclaimer: we are actually drunk and express some strong sports opinions.


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SPORTS QUESTIONS GO HERE: nightsafterdark@gmail.com

Sunday, September 4, 2016

DEATH METAL DADS: EPISODE 9 - CONSIDERED DAD (with VIVEK VANKATESH)



In the first of two enlightening episodes for the month of September, an Aesop-less Shelby is joined on the sunny patio of a Montreal AirBnB by college professor, metalhead, father of two, and creator of Grimposium Vivek Vankatesh. Also featuring surprise cameos by Dan Butler (Vastum, Acephalix), Pranjal Tiwari (Cardinal Wyrm), and British Dave (Football Madness), this discussion goes deep on academia, philosophy, fatherhood, and the mystical origins and culture of extreme music.

Valid and pertinent pontifications as follows: The Mutual Washing of Balls and Resulting Scrotal Cleanliness, How Did You Do That?, Incessant Beeping and The Passing of Fire Trucks, Maya Vs. Mastadon, Stoked Mallcore Kids, Partying With Sebastian Bach, Free Massages In The Artist Village, A Casual Plate of Food, Heavy Times at Katacombes Montreal, Uroboric Musings on Academia and The Mind/Body Horror Binary, Screaming In Your Daughter's Ear, A Complete Lack of Usual Segments, Luc LeMay and The Hidden History of The Human Race, Gettin' Pleiades Dusted Off Some "Colored Sands", Inquisition's Border-Crossing Issues and How They Benefitted Vastum, A Checkered Past, An Apartment Full of Drowsy Metalheads, Particularly Evocative Emotions, Don't Worry: Dan's Not Drunk, Strangling People With A Mic Cable, Cardinal Wyrm Chanting To The Empty Heavens, Neckbeard Technocracy, "Fucked With A Knife" As An Antidote To Dread and Depression, More Beeping, A Visit From The Landlord, Chatty Neighbors, and Lots of Weird Dude Energy. THIS 1 IS FOR SMART PPL ONLY! IF YOU ARE A FALSE DO NOT ENTRY!

Music:
Gorguts, "Considered Dead"
Vastum, "Amniosis"

ITUNES
STITCHER
SOUNDCLOUD



DIRECT DL

Write us: illogicalcontraption@yahoo.com

Check out Vivek's endeavors at Grimposium.com.

NIGHTS AFTER DARK: EPISODE 65 - WE SOLVED IT




Charles and I dissect the finer points of the global struggle for control of alien technology, occult Masonic influence on trade routes and colonial America, and how UFOs destroyed the SpaceX rocket. What more could you possibly want??


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Our personal stargate: nightsafterdark@gmail.com

Sunday, August 28, 2016

NIGHTS AFTER DARK: EPISODE 64 - TEMPLARS, LIZARDS, AND BEES




In this episode, we discuss the Masonic, occult, and/or reptilian angles of Chicago architecture, Usain Bolt, mental competency to stand trial, Hillary vs. conspiracy culture, woke ass comments on MRA videos, first-hand accounts of Alex Jones being weird, Time Travelin’ Trump, and Nikola Tesla’s views on feminism. This episode connects literally everything, so if you like episodes that connect literally everything, u mo b there!


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Email us if you dare (you don't): nightsafterdark@gmail.com

Sunday, August 14, 2016

NIGHTS AFTER DARK: EPISODE 63 - INFINITE BLISS AND OTHER BUSINESS OPPORTUNITIES




This episode is about one thing only: Transcendental Meditation. We dive deep into the ocean of pure consciousness and see what kinds of fish are swimming around down there. Put on your scuba gear and let’s roll.


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ARE U EVEN WOKE? nightsafterdark@gmail.com

Sunday, August 7, 2016

DEATH METAL DADS - EPISODE 8: DEATH METAL LADS

The Dads have given up. It’s over. In the laziest, most apathetic podcasting maneuver since the dawn of time, Shelby and Aesop hand the mics over to their kids–-Calvyn (age 18) and Ezra (age 15) to do the show for them. Is it the best Death Metal Dads ever? The worst? THERE’S ONLY ONE WAY TO FIND OUT!

Music:

Nitro, “Freight Train”

Foreigner, “Juke Box Hero”

ITUNES
STITCHER
SOUNCLOUD



DIRECT DL

DAD SEX: illogicalcontraption@yahoo.com




NIGHTS AFTER DARK: EPISODE 62 - A REPTILE DYSFUNCTION




It's a solo show! Allow me to ramble to you about our adventures in Las Vegas, the London Bridge in Lake Havasu, and fake Garths. Memes are also described.


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MORE AJ MEMES PLEASE: nightsafterdark@gmail.com

Sunday, July 24, 2016

NIGHTS AFTER DARK: EPISODE 61 - SHELBY AND ERIK ARE DRUNK AGAIN (LOKED AND WOKED EDITION)




Wow, we have definitely been day drinking! Join us as we discuss such diverse and wonderful topics as Donald Trumps, Pokemans, and Alan Jackson. This one is chock full of drunken rants, so if you like that sort of thing, the line forms on the left!


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SEND US YOUR AJ MEMES: nightsafterdark@gmail.com

Sunday, July 10, 2016

NIGHTS AFTER DARK: EPISODE 60 - TESTING TIN FOIL HATS




Come along for the ride while we get weird on synchronicity, occult occurrences surrounding the Dallas shootings, Professor Griff and 13 Bloodlines of the Illuminati, the Hum, and the shielding properties of tin foil!


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Guess I'm never getting the password for the NEW WEBSITE sigh oh well

Tin foil hat tips?: nightsafterdark@gmail.com

Sunday, July 3, 2016

DEATH METAL DADS: EPISODE 7 - BREEDING THE SPAWN


In today's enlightening installment, the Dads are guestless and return to The Dad Pad to gather their thoughts, drown their sorrows, and really get back to what's important--Mike Smith from Suffocation's rap career. But that's not all! Despite shitty audio and malfunctioning recording devices, they dive into a deep, tepid pool of subjects, including but not limited to: Suspicious Discharge, An Awkward Engagement In A Rest Stop Bathroom, A Corn-Studded Fuckturd, The Smart & Final Solution, Musings on The Back Cover of "Effigy of the Forgotten", Donald Duckin' vs. Porky Piggin', Clip Shows, Blooper Reels, Double-Donging, Tony Molina's New Gravity BlastCast, The Ballad of Dwayne and Rusty and The One-Armed Shotgun Dad, A Semi-Efficient Killing Machine (At Best), A Sex Query From Jaleel White, "Hey, Are You Guys In A Family?", A Brief History of Toilet Vocals, One Cock-Sweater With Reindeer On It: Size Small, Father/Son Bonding at the Suffocation Show, The All-New Death Metal Dads Fuck Apron With A Dickhole In It From Hide The Bodies Press, Haitian Winston and the Pizza Hut Vagina, East Oakland's Zombie Chicken Outbreak, Aesop Ate Brad, Post-Abortion Breakfasts, Frank Mullen: Patron Saint of Death Metal Dads, Good Ol' Fatherly Advice, PLUS Listener Emails, TWO New Segments (Dad Sex Vol. 1 AND The DMD Bump: Ball-Washing Edition) AND A Bonus Dad-Fuckin' Story! HOLY CRAP WHAT A PODCAST!

Music:

Suffocation, "Breeding The Spawn"
Inculcator, "Stygian Expanse (Malus Peior Malum)"

(Also featuring special appearances by Erika Osterhout, Marissa Martinez-Hoadley, and Brian Hoadley as The People Laughing at Aesop In The Hallway)

(Local underwriting by The 3 Rings Liquor Foundation)





Hit us up for Dad Sex Advice and get a prize! illogicalcontraption@yahoo.com!

NIGHTS AFTER DARK: EPISODE 59 - HANGIN' WITH CHARLES AND RON PART 2: OCCULT GEOGRAPHY




The second half of this amazing two-part episode is also jam-packed with content! We go deep on geographic anomalies and the ways in which those might be influencing our physical reality. Are UFO sightings and paranormal occurrences connected to earth's energies? Are orders of black magicians blackening our ley lines? Is there a secret geographic component to nuclear fission? Tune in to find out!


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Someday Shelby will send me the password for the NEW WEBSITE

Talk conspiracy to me: nightsafterdark@gmail.com

Sunday, June 12, 2016

NIGHTS AFTER DARK: EPISODE 56 - OCCULT TENDENCIES OF THE TECH ELITE




In this one, we talk about Silicon Valley’s deep influence on America: Eric Schmidt manipulating the election, Peter Thiel bankrupting the media, and Elon Musk’s “one in a billion” chance that we don’t live a holographic reality. We also talk about past lives encroaching on the present and Alex Jones’s siqq Info Wars clothing line. Please do join.


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NEW WEBSITE NEW WEBSITE NEW WEBSITE

Send us your words here: nightsafterdark@gmail.com

Sunday, June 5, 2016

DEATH METAL DADS EPISODE 6 - PARENTAL FUNERAL (WITH ERIC CUTLER)


Welcome to Episode 6, recorded live in a boiling-hot practice space on the third floor of the Oakland Music Complex! In today's auditory adventure, the Dads are joined by Eric Cutler (Autopsy, Necrosic) to expound upon an array of inane and beer-soaked subjects, surrounded by vintage smut and Star Wars memorabilia.

Topics discussed herein: Man Kegels, A Lack of Electricity & Apologies For Slapping, 16 Years on the Couch Drinking Beer, The Ken Burnses of Death Metal Podcasting, Antioch's Sadus Statue, A Change.org Petition For More Guitar In The Monitors, You Have Bad Taste In Things, Fun With Shitfun!, Unholy Blackened Death Thrash Farmer Grampa, Solicitations For Dad Sex, A Lot of Talk About Quilts, Alienating Autopsy, More Shit-Talking on Glen Benton, A Hole In The Cyclone Fence That You Climb Through To Smoke Weed With Chuck Schuldiner, Don't Talk Between Songs, THE DMD BUMP, Inquisition Wants You To Drive Safe, An Apology To Mom, Aesop On Shelby's Shoulders Wearing A Long Trench Coat Posing For A Picture With Dan Lilker, 105 Degrees in the Museum of Porn, Proud Father of a Rototom-Playing Son, A Letter To Aerosmith: The Whitford/Hamilton Affair, Sizzler Is The Sweatpants of Restaurants, and of course, everyone's favorite segment, Fatherly Advice. It's a good one. Tune in!

Music:
Autopsy, "In The Grip of Winter"
Necrosic, "Squirming In Your Guts"






We want to give you bad sex advice: illogicalcontraption@yahoo.com


Sunday, May 29, 2016

NIGHTS AFTER DARK: EPISODE 55 - TOP MEN




Wow, what a episode! Advanced subjects include: Psychic On A Leash! Poltershit! Tom DeLonge And His Unified UFO Theory! David Paulides And His Missing Persons! 19th Century Americana UFO Stories! And many other things! Please enjoy!


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Shoot us an email, it's been awhile: nightsafterdark@gmail.com

Sunday, May 22, 2016

NIGHTS AFTER DARK: EPISODE 54 - REMAINS OF SOMETHING WEIRD




2 Woke (No Girls) / Skulls For Sale / Back To The Crack / Fourteen Saloons, Two Dance Halls, No Law Enforcement / Psychic Moments / Layers Of Ghost Towns / You Are Not Alone / Describin’ Freedom Lovers


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BONUS VIDEO CONTENT WHAT IS EVEN HAPPENING RIGHT NOW:



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Sunday, May 8, 2016

DEATH METAL DADS EPISODE 5 - MOMWARD TO GOLGOTHA (WITH CHIYO NUKAGA)


SPECIAL BONUS MOTHER'S DAY SURPRISE EPISODE!

In what will surely be remembered as DMD's most GRIM and NEKRO installment (read as: shitty-sounding), the Dads enter an ACTUAL TOMB in the Mountain View Cemetery sans microphones or electricity to sit down with their first Metal Mom, Chiyo Nukaga (Noothgrush). Topics pontificated upon as listed (but not limited to): Yokohama-klahoma, If You Wanna Get Away From A Ghost Go Into The Woods, An Asshole Full of Gin, Punched By A Rabbi, Wind Noises, Parole Violations, Underwear Punx: What We Do Is (Victoria's) Secret, Disco Doom, Bad Reverb, Craig Pillard: Garbage Man/Garbage Person, Google Ghosts, Chuck E. Cheese Is Thunderdome, Dubstep Dads, Why The Oakland Raiders Travel In Single File, The Purple Pie Man: Scented Pedophile, Less Pissy Fabric, There's A Noothgrush On My Toothbrush, Narnia Meth, More Bad Reverb, Not Getting High With Dino From Dystopia, Casting Off Your Leg Prisons, Dionne Warwick's Inability To Locate San Jose, World Jewry/Rural Jewelry, and of course everyone's favorite bummer, Fatherly Advice. Join us.

Music:
Incantation, "Unholy Massacre"
Noothgrush "Alderaan"


Questions, comments, requests, and Dad Sex Advice: illogicalcontraption@yahoo.com

PRODUCTION NOTE: AFTER THE RECORDING OF THIS EPISODE, THE DADS LEARNED THAT THE TOMB THEY RECORDED IN WAS DESECRATED IN 1988, AND THAT THE HEADS OF TWO BODIES THEREIN WERE REMOVED. THIS IS THE REASON FOR THE TOMB'S VACANCY AND LACK OF NAME. YOU CAN READ MORE ABOUT THIS STRANGE CASE HERE.

(Listen close for EVPs in this one.)

NIGHTS AFTER DARK: EPISODE 53 - KEDOPHILES




Total Bullshit Is Our Bread And Butter / Elvis Is Prince Is Alive / Picture A White Jumpsuit / Intyrely Misremembered / Describin’ Memes: The Meme Dad / Shadow Man On Campus / The Greenbaum Speech / Michael Aquino and the Temple of Set


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Sunday, May 1, 2016

DEATH METAL DADS EPISODE 4 - DADAKLYSM (WITH EUGENE ROBINSON)



LIVE FROM EAST PALO ALTO, IT'S DMD EPISODE 4: DADAKLYSM!

On today's episode, the Dads are joined by author/singer/martial artist and all-around badass Eugene Robinson (Oxbow, Bunuel, The Sal Mineo Project, etc etc), to pet dogs, pet cats, and awkwardly avoid being brutally assaulted for 65 minutes. They talk about stuff. Such as: Fighting Dudes In Basements For Fun And Profit, A Surprise Cameo By Deaf Cat, A Lot of Unexplained Grunting And Panting, You Can't Un-Fuck A Vagina, NO DEALS AT THE MERCH TABLE, Eyeball Slicing, Getting Naked Onstage And How It Effects Your Children, Popeye: A Really Good Dog, Steve From Harvey Milk Makes Mean Eggs, The Yanni/Raffi Connection, When Your "Fun Orgy" Turns Into A "Bummer Gangbang": A Cautionary Tale, Someone Pack Bob Uecker In Bubble Wrap!, Leonard Part 6 Chat, Some Playful Eye-Gouging And The Casual Ripping off of Dicks, Kataklysm: Not Really Worth Talking About, and of course, a nice solid chunk of Fatherly Advice. Join us or die.

Music:

Kataklysm, "The Orb of Uncreation"
Oxbow, Daughter"

VERY IMPORTANT NEWS: DEATH METAL DADS NOW HAS ALL ITS OWN FEEDS! WE ARE NO LONGER PUBLISHING ON THE 'NIGHTS AFTER DARK' FEED! IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO SUBSCRIBE TO THIS FANTASTIC AND INFORMATIVE PODCAST, PLEASE DO SO AT THE FOLLOWING LOCATIONS:



DIRECT DOWLOAD HERE

Write to us: illogicalcontraption@yahoo.com

NIGHTS AFTER DARK: EPISODE 52 - SARAH DOES DISNEY WORLD




Wiccan Jesus / Archon Elaboration / Lisa Frank Hellscape / It’s A Disney World / Aerosmith Themed Everything / Are You Holy Land Experienced? / The Goat Man Claims Another Victim / Why All Our Celebrities Are Dying / Prince Predicts 9/11


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Emails, emails, emails: nightsafterdark@gmail.com

Sunday, April 17, 2016

NIGHTS AFTER DARK: EPISODE 51 - DON'T ARC OFF, ARCHON




Welcome to NAD Episode 51, featuring an array of diverse and stimulating topics such as:

How Does A Rainbow Go? / What A Cat Saw / Expounding The Interdimensional Hypothesis / Grey Alien Sex Majick Rituals / Describin’ Gnostic Reptilians / Carl Jung on UFOs / Mini-Bilderberg / The New World Order Commemorative Glock / Earthquake Chat / Name Dropping Moloch / This Chick Is Going Down


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Look At This Fucking Email Address: nightsafterdark@gmail.com

Sunday, April 3, 2016

DEATH METAL DADS EPISODE 3 - STARING THROUGH THE EYES OF THE DAD (WITH MARISSA MARTINEZ-HOADLEY)


Dad-Chat HEATS UP in Episode 3: STARING THROUGH THE EYES OF THE DAD!

In this month's installment, Aesop and Shelby are joined by their bestest pal and bandmate Marissa Martinez-Hoadley (Cretin, Repulsion) to make an attempt at not talking about dicks for 90 minutes. Topics include (but are not limited to): A Brief Celebration of the 100th Anniversary of The Elephant Pajama Joke, Psyllium Husk: Dietary Supplement or Prog Band?, Thawing Out The Blue Grape Neanderthal, How We're All Slowly Dying, Metamucinex/Stool-Aid/Shit Knit (Poop Tips with Grampa Dekker), Steve Vai-able Guitarists, Poseballs and How They Apply To Online Fuckstyles, Rihanna Chat, Scissoring Over Star Trek: TNG, The Guy From Obituary's Meth Lab, Brian Playing Frogger, Aesop's Staunch Anti-Immigrant Stance, DADS DON'T GRAVITY BLAST, A 4-Person Mosh Pit In a Fancy Penthouse Apartment, Nuclear Centaur Cock, Fucked With A Porsche, A Garfield Greeting Card Containing an Applebee's Gift Certificate and a Message Reading: "Hey Mom, I'm Transgendered!", Losing A Dick In First Life Whilst Gaining One In Second Life, I Cum Syrup/Waffle House Menu Items That Sound Like Cannibal Corpse Songs, Brony674 Calling QA To Get His Penis Fixed, and of course, everyone's favorite segment Fatherly Advice (featuring "It's A Boy! Or Is It?/Fuck It To Death"). All this and SO MUCH MORE. Wowie zowie what a program!!!

Spoiler: They talk about dicks. A lot.

Music:
Cannibal Corpse, "Staring Through The Eyes of the Dead"
Cretin, "How To Wreck Your Life In Three Days"

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(yeah we're still sharing iTunes & Stitcher feeds with NAD, so what?)

Your mother and I are worried about you: illogicalcontraption@yahoo.com

NIGHTS AFTER DARK: EPISODE 50 - TO GLOCK A SQUATCH




Fifty Episodes! Wha Happened? In this one:

Squatchin’ Or Skinwalkin’? / Interdimensional Cryptoids / Biggest Ba’als Of Them All / Psychic Bob And The Hathors / Cleophus Brown Sees A UFO / Weird Mortuary Rites Of George Bush Sr. / Disney Magic Shuts The Door


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BONUS VIDEO CONTENT HOLY FUCK!



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Sunday, March 20, 2016

NIGHTS AFTER DARK: EPISODE 49 - HOO CARES HOO'S LISTENIN'




Truther Jams! Human Mutilatiions! Rock Bands Down The Rabbit Hole! Describin’ Memes: Funny Club Edition! Republican Initiation Rites! Illuminated Shakespeare! SO MUCH TRUTH YOU CAN'T HANDLE IT!


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Sunday, March 13, 2016

NIGHTS AFTER DARK: EPISODE 48 - WAVE OF CATTLE MUTILATION




Describin’ Mutilations! An Amazing True Case of a Mutilated Cow! We Visit the Scene of an Actual Mutilation! Edgar Mitchell’s Psychic Experiments From Outer Space! Sarah Hangs Out With Real Pilots and Gets Real UFO Stories! THIS ONE GOES DEEP.


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Sunday, March 6, 2016

DEATH METAL DADS: EPISODE 2 - DAD BY DAWN (WITH MIKE SCHEIDT)




Welcome to Episode 2 of Death Metal Dads: DAD BY DAWN!

In this chapter, the beautiful and talented Mike Scheidt (Yob, Vhol) joins Shelby and Aesop LIVE at the Phallus Palace to discuss various and sundry topics, including (but not limited to): Openly Weeping Over Star Trek TNG, A Table For One At Denny's And The Resulting Food Sadness, Train Sounds, Penis Metal, Sharkfuckin'/Fast As A Shark (Depending On The Specific Shark And Type of Transportation Involved), Wesley Grindcrusher, Elephant Walrus Mating Season, More Train Sounds, Glen Benton Shampooing His Hair In The Ladies' Room, Steve Asheim's Insurance Seminar/Doing Donuts In A Hummer In The Parking Lot Behind The Venue, A Goat Semen Shirt at The PTA Meeting, Captain Picard's Pennywhistle, Four Frowny Bald Tough Dudes And A Jazz Dad, JESUS even MORE Train Sounds?, Visigoth Baking Hudson's Melon, Aesop Having Sex With A Horribly Disfigured Freak, Mike Getting Dimebagged, Deicide Mondegreens, The Cocoa-Demon, Fucking Your Friends' Moms, Fish Nipples, and of course, everyone's favorite segment Fatherly Advice. Followed by more Train Sounds.

Music:
Deicide, "Dead By Dawn"
Vhol, "The Desolate Damned"

Join the Dads again in April for Episode 3: STARING THROUGH THE EYES OF THE DAD, featuring Marissa Martinez-Hoadley (Cretin, Repulsion, Exhumed).

Don't Be A Creep!


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Sunday, February 28, 2016

NIGHTS AFTER DARK: EPISODE 47 - CIBOLO CREEK STAR WHACKERS




We go straight down the rabbit hole on the Scalia death, trace out the entire occult history of the participants, and emerge with a STARTLING NEW REVELATION that connects shit in a way that will (hopefully) blow your mind! Or just keep jerking off and watching wrestling, I don't care.


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Sunday, February 21, 2016

NIGHTS AFTER DARK: EPISODE 46 - DADS AFTER DARK




Magickal Online Seminars! The Pick Up Magician! Pick Up Dads! Furry Perversions! Hashtag Stay Woke Shit! Trump Knows 9/11! Is There Really A Book Of Secrets? Space Music! Shaded Half Of The Satellite! Reviews Of Shows And Movies! Lucifer At The Superbowl!


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Monday, February 15, 2016

DEATH METAL DADS: EPISODE 1 - ALTARS OF DADNESS




It's the much anticipated debut of Illogical Contraption's newest unneccesary spinoff, DEATH METAL DADS!

In this pilot episode, your intrepid hosts Shelby and Aesop discuss Dadness, Sadness, Madness, Death Metal Addiction, Valentine's Day, Natural Purple Watermelon Flavor, Morbid Angel, and Floridian Rednecks, all the while floating on a bromantic cloud of Lick Me All Over incense.

The pals will be back in a month with a very special secret guest for Episode 2: DAD BY DAWN. Don't take the brown acid!


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Sunday, February 7, 2016

NIGHTS AFTER DARK: EPISODE 45 - ONCE YOU GO FLAT...




Wow! The Popobawa! Celebrity Clones! DNA Activation! A Brand New Cult! Lisa Frank and Her Coke Problem! Wow!


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Sunday, January 31, 2016

NIGHTS AFTER DARK: EPISODE 44 - ANUNNAKI'D UP (CHILLIN' WITH CHARLES AND ERIK)




Join your weird conspiracy friends at IllCon for an “illuminating” in-depth discussion of Planet Nibiru and the Anunnaki. Spoiler: it was aliens.


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Sunday, January 24, 2016

NIGHTS AFTER DARK: EPISODE 43 - CHILLIN' WITH CORY AND ERIK




Come relax with your pals Cory and Erik while we shoot the breeze about sketchy hotels, frozen heads, Bowie conspiracies, Nibiru and the Anunnaki, the Kaballah, the Greys, the Beach Boys, and other chill topics. It’s the Jackie Brown of podcasts!


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Sunday, January 17, 2016

NIGHTS AFTER DARK: EPISODE 42 - HOW DO WE FUCK IT?




A Very Special Episode guest starring Jason Frisbie from Pool Party Radio and Shelby Cobras from some stupid show. Listen for magical surprises and mega laffs!


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