Thursday, February 12, 2009


Steven Seagal: Sweet or Lame? Please inspect all the evidence presented below before making your decision.

Above: SWEET - Steven Seagal has his own imprint of Kershaw knives.
Below: LAME - Steven Seagal has his own brand of aftershave. (Not the one pictured below. His is called "Scent of Action". Seriously.)

Above: LAME - Modern-day Steven Seagal looks like Alec Baldwin.
Below: SWEET - Modern-day Steven Seagal has his own ENERGY DRINK!

Above: LAME - Steven Seagal has a ponytail.
Below: SWEET - Steven Seagal has a ponytail (sorry, I couldn't decide which side of the fence this one fell on).

Above: LAME - Steven Seagal is a major Dad Rocker.
Below: SWEET - Steven Seagal plays Dad Rock wearing a fucking GOLD KIMONO!

Above: LAME - Steven Seagal runs like a girl.
Below: SWEET - Steven Seagal kicks the shit out of HELLA dudes.


Anonymous said...

Today's Seagal is a mere shadow of his former self. The young Seagal kicked a metric fucktonne of ass. He totally deserved an Oscar for running around Brooklyn yelling,"I'm lookin' for whoever did Bobby Lupo!!!" in his very believable guido accent. His early performances moved me to tears. I only wish he had a semi famous look a like for one last Shelby conundrum.

Anonymous said...

Lame: Someone left a Steven Segal knife at our house years ago.
Sweet:They also left a bullet belt.
Even Sweeter: Said person went on to play in Poison Idea when they played up here, put me on the list, and didn't even ask for the bullet belt back.