Wednesday, February 4, 2009


In the spirit of the last few posts here on Illogical Contraption, I've got one final Conspiracy/Cthulhu/Celebrity conundrum to share, this one pointed out, again, by an anonymous reader.
"Anonymous readers" make me nervous.

The conundrum is as follows:

Dagon The Fish-God = Wilford Brimley

Think about it: Dagon, interchangable with the sea-dwelling Lord of Demons Cthulhu, rules the minions of the deep, awaiting his chance to come forth and annihilate mankind. Wilford Brimley starred in the 1985 film "Cocoon", about a group of aliens from Atlantis who incubate in organic pods, UNDERWATER.

The cards are on the table. Dagon/Brimley is obviously putting together a legion of Giant Squid/Vampire Squid hybrid mutants to launch an attack on Switzerland (easy prey, they're NEUTRAL) and take control of The Large Hadron Collider, which they will use to create a black hole. With Illuminati funding, The Universal Order of the Architeuthis Infernalis will take control of our post-apocalyptic society, making slaves of those unlucky enough to survive. BAM! Novus Ordo Seclorum, indeed.
We must do what we can to stop them.

If this is the last you hear from me, I just want to thank you all for reading.
And Erik, you can have my Nintendo.


Anonymous said...

You are welcome. I'd say see you in the afterlife but since I have rotten luck i'll probably wind up in a Dagonite concentration camp....

Shelby Cobras said...

Dude, that's a great title for a metal song: "ENSLAVED BY THE DAGONITES". awesome.

Anonymous said...

... or maybe "Dagonite Enslavment"

Anonymous said...

Oh crap, just a sliver of a suggestion and Shelby is off and running. Well played.