By E. Del Tigre
What's better than a single dragon? DOUBLE DRAGON!
This game was released in 1987 and immediately went into heavy rotation in Nintendo systems nationwide, probably because it ruled so hard. The intro features your character's bridge-and-tunnel girlfriend (seriously, check out her outfit) getting sucker punched by some street thug in front of an auto body shop and carried off on the dude's shoulder.
Hey, it's New York, it's the 80s--it's called a freakin' date! ...so how 'bout them Jets?
After setting the bar so high with that opening, you'd think the game could only go downhill. Nope, not a chance. It's gritty, muscle-bound street action with whips, chains, and baseball bats from start to finish. You're probably thinking, whoa dude, that sounds a lot like the Folsom Street Fair! Well guess what dude, Double Dragon is EXACTLY like the Folsom Street Fair, except unflinchingly heterosexual. See below.
Another part of what makes Double Dragon so epic is the tunes. Turn up your speakers and check out these killer jams:
Now here's a clip of The Minibosses covering the same song. Rock!
Hey, I have an idea! This game is jam-packed with extreme action, right? Hollywood should make a Double Dragon movie! Oh wait, they already have. And guess what? It blows!
But this is one of those bad movies that transcends badness and becomes awesomely bad. You don't believe me? Watch this fight scene all the way through and tell me again you don't believe. "Let's do some damage!"
Surgeon General's warning: watching any part of this movie sober may cause complications of sanity.
Ever seen the shitty cartoon show? No? Now you have! Magic!
Want to play the game? Fuck yeah you do! Here's some links to sites where you can play Double Dragon online! Money in the bank!
Now go win.