ELIMINATORS for the win!

By E. Del Tigre

What's up Illogical Contraption readers, this is Erik Del Tigre. Recent communications from the field indicate that Shelby Cobras has cracked under the pressure of constant blogging. Fearing he might "go rogue" at any moment, his superiors have enlisted my services to assist in completing the mission--and to keep an eye on Cobras.

That being said, check THIS shit out:

Eliminators is easily one of the best B-movies of the 80s. The film--and make no mistake, it is a film--follows the adventures of a Mandroid, an Indiana Jones-style riverboat guide, a ninja master, a brilliant female inventor and her pet robot Spot on their journey through Mexico to stop a mad scientist from using to a time machine to travel back in time and conquer the Roman empire. Oh HELLZ yeah! And the best part? It totally rules.

Here's a partial list of awesome things included in the film:
-Time travel
-A Mandroid (infinitely more manly than a mere android)
-Laser guns
-Explosions
-Bar fights
-Boat chases
-Denise Crosby from Star Trek: the Next Generation in a wet t-shirt (nice!)
-Cavemen
-Ninjutsu

You want more? Watch the trailer:

You still want more? Well, you're in luck, because some badass on YouTube uploaded the ENTIRE FUCKING FILM.

Enjoy, suckas.