Wednesday, March 17, 2010

G.L.O.M. - The Gorgeous Ladies of Metal (Non-Poseur Edition)


Not interested.

I'm sick of Revolver's "Hottest Chicks In Metal" issues. I'm sick of MetalSucks telling us about the newest female-fronted metalcore/deathcore/whateverfuckingcore band (no offense, guys). I'm sick of the hipster-metal dude who forces his hipster-metal girlfriend to join his band at gunpoint. It seems like everyone is trying to give big ups to girls in metal, but doing it by either cramming them into lingerie or talking down to them. I call bullshit.
Today we'll take a tour of who I consider to be the finest ladies in metal, and by "fine" I don't mean "hott" (although that term might also apply in some cases). I mean talented. Brutal. Dedicated. Awesome.

No, I'm not talking about you. Or you. Or that chick from Mayhem.
I'm not talking about false shit like Lacuna Coil or Bleeding Through or Evanescence or that chick from Winds of Plague who put pictures of her boobs on the internet. I'm not talking about Otep Shamalamadingdong or that psuedo-rockabilly chick from In This Moment. I'm not even talking about Arch Enemy.

I'm talking about motherfucking Girlschool, the Motorhead of girl bands. I'm talking about Jo Bench, keeping it real in Bolt Thrower since '87. I'm talking about the ridiculous shredding of The Great Kat*.
Women playing REAL FUCKING METAL. The good stuff.

Interested.

I'm not here to talk sexual politics. Is it sexist for me to even call attention to the gender divide in the metal scene? Am I too sensitive to this kind of stuff from living in the Bay Area for too long? Who cares?
I just want to take a little time to give a virtual high-five to all the ladies kicking ass in the metal world, carrying the banner forth into a bold new age of heavy metal equality. Below you will find a list of 25 underappreciated bands, all of whom are either fronted by women or in some way populated by them. Depending on how metal/internet literate you are, you may have heard of all, some, or none of these bands. Deal with it.
I've included links where appropriate, for furtherance of research. Enjoy.

(Before you start, go back and download the Females In Extreme Metal compilation. It is the soundtrack to this post.)


1) SCARY BEAR
All-girl instrumental thrash from Seattle. Camellia posted about them here. What she didn't mention is that one of the chicks in Scary Bear is Charles Bronson's daughter. Like, FOR REAL. METAL CRED AS FUCK. (Myspace)

2) KYLESA
Stony, psychedelic, rocking doom metal from Savannah, Georgia. They're blowing up right now, you've probably already heard them. (Myspace / Last.FM)

3) HUNTRESS
Our very own Seanford plays drums in this band. Former Playmate Jill belts out metal vocals over crazy Professor shred (Side note: The Professor guys don't play on the Huntress Myspace songs). Without giving anything away, let me just say this: You will be hearing A LOT MORE about Huntress in the near future (and not from me). (Myspace)

4) RUNHILD GAMMELSAETER (THORR'S HAMMER/KHLYST)
Runhild (left) first crushed skulls at the tender age of 17, when she travelled to Seattle from Norway as an exchange student. There she met up with Stephen O'Malley to form the ridiculously heavy (but ridiculously short-lived) Thorr's Hammer. Her gutteral take on doom metal vocals instantly blew EVERYONE'S mind, but she quickly disappeared back to Norway. She later resurfaced in James Plotkin's experi-metal Khlyst, but devotes most of her time to the development of autologous cell-based therapeutics working for a genetic research firm. Dang.

PS: I first heard Thorr's Hammer on the aforementioned Women In Extreme Metal compilation over a decade ago. Such is the case with the next five bands listed as well.

5) ACROSTICHON
Corinne van der Brand has been rocking bass and vocals in this crippling death metal band since 19-fucking-89 (!). From the Netherlands, the most metal place in the world. (Myspace / Last.FM)

6) WITCHES
Why haven't you heard of France's half-female black thrash troop Witches? Is it because you suck? Or is it because their name is nearly un-Googleable? (Myspace)

7) NOVEMBER GRIEF
All-girl death metal four-piece, again discovered on the F.I.E.M. compilation. Unbelievably fucking brutal. Almost impossible to track down recordings, but you can dl their demo here. (Myspace - lots of good video.)



8) DAMAD
Pre-Kylesa crust-grind topped off by the eclectic and severe vocal stylings of one Victoria Scalisi. Look for more Damad on IC soon... (Myspace / Last.FM)

9) NOOTHGRUSH
Last band to be featured here that I discovered on F.I.E.M. Downtuned, Star Wars-obsessed doom from the South Bay, featuring the insane percussive assault of a little lady named Chiyo. Get their (sort-of) greatest hits collection Erode The Person here. (Myspace / Last.FM)

10) ORB OF CONFUSION
Speaking of the Bay Area, did everyone already get that Orb of Confusion demo I put up here last November? I hope so.
Orb featured Brooklyn native (and my good Bro) Laurie on bass and vocals, although she left shortly after the demo was released. What did she do after, you ask? Well...

11) SERPENT CROWN
Laurie hooked up with singer/guitarist Dara from Santhai to form Serpent Crown. Will Carroll from every SF metal band ever joined on drums. Sadly, since the formation of Serpent Crown, Laurie up and moved to L.A., where I'm sure she'll be starting up something new very soon. Serpent Crown is still rocking, with a different bass player. (Myspace)
On with the SF bands...

12) MANSLAUGHTER (DALTON)
What can I say about Manslaughter? She's one of my bestest Bros, and the metal-est chick I know. Not only does she handle bass duties in Dalton, but she also plays in a new freak-rock ensemble known as Dutch Windmill as well as occasionally dressing up as Xena Warrior Princess to front Warriors of the Snake Pit. She even took on the Eric Adams persona when Dalton became WOMANOWAR for one show (right). And look, she just started a Blogger account! Not long before she's writing for IC...

13) SAROS
Encyclopaedia Metallum says "Blackened Progressive Death/Thrash Metal", which I guess sort of covers it. Guitarist/vocalist Leila Abdul-Rauf totally reminded me of a female Chuck Schuldiner the first time I had the Saros experience. Their drummer's name is Blood Eagle. I see him in Trader Joe's sometimes. (Myspace / Last.FM)

14) HAMMERS OF MISFORTUNE/UNHOLY CADAVER
Previous IllCon posts have this covered: Hammers of Misfortune / Unholy Cadaver.

15) TARRAKIAN
Another mega-stony SF-based doom metal thing, Tarrakian (left) features a mega-stony chick named Kelsey on bass and vocals. Did I mention that they're pretty stony? (one look at their Myspace page will confirm it.)

16) LUDICRA
Being based in San Francisco, it is sometimes difficult to ascertain exactly HOW BIG a local band has gotten. But I'm pretty sure everyone already knows about Ludicra. (Myspace / Last.FM)

Elsewhere in the world...

17) DANA DUFFEY (MYTHIC/DEMONIC CHRIST)
Dana Duffey (right) has been keeping it real, death/black metal style, since 1991. First with all-girl three-piece Mythic (Myspace / Last.FM) and then with Satanic warriors Demonic Christ (Myspace / Last.FM). Check her out. Dana is NOT fucking around.

18) ATAKKE
Kick-ass thrash/grind/HC out of Brooklyn, fronted by Peter's homegirl Chloe Puke. Absolutely fucking FACE-MELTING. (Myspace / Last.FM)

19) SARGATANAS
I only know about Sargatanas because of Aesop's writeup about their demo tape on Cosmic Hearse. But c'mon, all-girl teenage death metal from Russia? What's not to like?

20) DEMONOMANCY
Similarly, all I know about all-girl Florida death-metallers Demonomancy I learned from this post on Metal Inquisition. It's pretty much all I need.

21) HELL HATH NO FURY
Female-fronted thrash/mosh from L.A., recently shared a bill with them in SF.
Their cover of "Caught In A Mosh" rocked my fucking balls off. (Myspace)

22) SKARP
Another killer crust/grind band hailing from Seattle. See previous IC post here. (Myspace / Last.FM)

23) ALAS
Another side project of Morbid Angel/Hate Eternal guitarist Erik Rutan, except this time it's metal... Fronted by a female opera singer. See previous IC post here. (Myspace)

24) OXIPLEGATZ
Space-themed sci-fi black metal that occasionally bursts out into full-on Disney-style musical numbers. Again, what's not to like? See previous IC post here. (Myspace / Last.FM)

25) BLACKHOLICUS
Hot new Trappy Award (left)-winning, female-fronted, NWOBHM-esque four-piece out of Austin, Texas. First introduced to IC readers by Seanford back in January. This band kills.
In addition, I hear they read this blog now. Hi, guys. (Myspace / Last.FM)


Moving on...

Not interested.

Sweet metal bands that used to have chicks in them but don't anymore:

OPERA IX. SINISTER. GEHENNA (Norway). DEATHWITCH.

Not necessarily "metal" but still fucking awesome:

Submission Hold/Saké (see last post), Contropotere, Initial State, Tom Eyos Ki (thanks to abdul alhazred once again).

The Gorgeous Ladies of Japanese Avant Popgrind:

MELT-BANANA
BLEACH 03

Semi-related IC post: 'COVER GRRLS'.

Interested.

Ladies' Metal Resources Online:

Reign In Blonde
Stay Female Fronted, Because In Female Fronted We Trust!

For poseur chicks: How To Dress Metal (Girls) on WikiHow.

That can't possibly cover it. Who did I forget? Let me know in the 'Comments' section.


PS: It was my distinct honor to receive an honorary Bachelor's Degree of Letters from Miskatonic University last evening (see below). The degree was delivered by our own very female (and VERY METAL) Camellia sinensis. I am humbled.



* About The Great Kat: Does anyone remember when her publicity team was attempting to contact me almost a year ago? I never got a chance to relate the end of that story. It goes something like this...
Kat's sister (also her publicist) gets ahold of me, totally unsolicited, asking if I want to interview The Great Kat ("The Great"? "Ms. Kat"?). Of course I do. I tell her that. She says they will send me free stuff. Long story short, I spend hours constructing thoughtful, humorous questions which I then send off to Her Highness. SHE NEVER WROTE BACK and I never got any free stuff. What the fuck, The Great Kat?!?!

33 comments:

Will Towles said...

really good stuff, as always.tr

Manslaughter said...

Thanks for this most true and awesome post Lermo. I certainly do not deserve to be in the realms of these bad ass babes, many of whom have inspired me to keep shredding.
Metal was my first love and the reason I took up music in the first place, and it is always a pleasure to rock with the ladies in a mainly male-dominated scene.
I was super stoned when I started that blogger account, hahaha, will have some awesome baked good recipes including bacon. (Banacon bread anyone?).
Oh, and yes, as soon as I have more than five minutes and my freakin' itunes library back, I got a 'lil somethin' somethin' for ya'll to shake your brain to.

Manslaughter said...

Also of note, some of my favorite ladies of metal include: all the extremely hot and talented ladies of AC/DSHE, the super stony riffage of Grey (Seattle), Jackie Perez Gratz of Grayceon and Giant Squid- who also has a new guitarist and future bandmate of mine Cory Tozer, and Cast the Circle, a supergroup based in Oakland comprised of some of the above said babes.

Aylmer said...

Tam from Sacrilege

Helm said...

Yes! Good post, none of that poser shit, real women playing real metal not for the eyes for some boyfriend or their myspace friends but for MOLTEN STEEL TO DESTROY.

Camellia sinensis said...

You Rule ....Thank you for the post. i have alot of suss through when i get a better connection to the interweb.

if you get a chance check out these bands.....

grey:
http://www.myspace.com/greydoom
Diamanda galas:
http://www.myspace.com/songsofexile
Agrimonia:
http://www.myspace.com/agrimonia
Death Mold:
http://www.myspace.com/deathmold

Erik said...

I was totally gonna nominate Melanie, but you beat me to it. Good job.

Also, I would unspeakable things under a gibbous moon for one of those Miskatonic Degrees. Do want.

Chris said...

"that chick from Mayhem" and "Otep shamalamadingdong" made my night, thank you.

Mister Booze said...

Whoa, that Miskatonic University degree is "fuckwin". I wants one! I love how it is dated for June 5th 2010. The future!

If I got one I can foresee that being as large a struggle with my girlfriend as hanging my Chairman Mao poster in the living room...

Anonymous said...

Mythic! man oh man!!!! Didnt know that gehenna had a woman? must find out more......Early gehenna was so great....

Shelby Cobras said...

"Servant of the Most High":

Wow, you work for Snoop Dogg?

cdg said...

Though it hasn't been updated since 2005, there was a project to collect info on women in metal, hardcore & grind called Blood Sisters

crg said...

this is awesome! i'm an admin on fuckyeahfemalefronted.tumblr.com and am definitely going to put up some of the bands on here. thanks for posting this!

SEANFORD said...

i demand you remove huntress right away for being both false and ungrim.


and because jill made the revolver list too.

shit, does this get me fired?

Camellia sinensis said...

Just to qualify my inclusion of Diamanda Galas as an omitted female musician i have this to say:

For anyone who doesn't think Diamanda Galas qualifies as a brutal metal siren....I strongly encourage you to always keep your helmet on. there and many walls for you repeatedly walk into and after a while, that will start to hurt.

OK that said, one of my ultimate musical fantasies in life (disclosure time), is a duet album between Diamanda Galas and King Diamond...The potential of epicness is almost too much to comprehend..Its fucking 4th dimensional, quantum metal man!

Diamanda+Diamond..Am I alone here?

Hail! X3
hammer of the metallic gods that be,
make this fantasy a reality...

One can hope for ultimate musical gratification in this lifetime me thinks..oh yes.

endnote: A distinct nod to Manslaughter with her terrific shiny pants..... Portland, Oregon unanimously approves..Grr.

Aylmer said...

Missionary girl (Servant of the Most High) up there is actually Metal, quote at the top of her blog:

"Rise and Thrash, O Daughter of Zion, for I will give you horns of iron;
I will give you hoofs of bronze and you will break to pieces many nations."

Shelby Cobras said...

''JOEL 3:13 SWING THE SICKLE FOR THE HARVEST IS RIPE.''

Who know? I'm glad someone checked it out. Thanks, Aylmer.

Anonymous said...

F.I.D. from japan!!!!
http://www.myspace.com/fidgrind
used to be all girls now its 3/4

Crazy Horny & Super Strong said...

Dude.

NUCLEAR DEATH.

DUDE!

Camellia sinensis said...

Rotting Christ ‘s new album AEALO has a track with Diamanda Galas….this will have to fucking do until diamanda + king diamond can become a reality.



http://www.mediafire.com/file/ri0yhrntyzl/11 Orders From The Dead (Diamanda Galas Cover).mp3.zip

Islander said...

This is a fascinating list -- thanks for introducing me to so many new bands (now need lots of time to check em out). There's another interesting list here, which includes Opera IX, Cadaveria, Thorr's Hammer, Severed Heaven, Enter Chaos, Adorior, and Merlin:
http://www.nocleansinging.com/2010/03/10/no-clean-chicks-singing/
And I'm really partial to Bloodshoteye from Canada.

Anonymous said...

i hear you on diamanda + diamond! maybe a barbershop with screaming jay hawkins + diamanda + yamatsuka eye?

abdul alhazred said...

I was debating what to post today when I saw this list, so I decided on Resurrectum:
http://fromthisswamp.blogspot.com/2010/03/resurrectum-demo.html

This is an excellent post, Tarrakian is blowing my mind right now as I type. Thanks.

Anonymous said...

COBRAS! Check out BLOOD CEREMONY!!!!! and CRYSTAL VIPER

Lord Kabballash III said...

Diamanda Galas did a great rock album with John Paul Jones, which beats at least the last half of Led Zeppelin albums for full on rock value. Who needs Plant and Page when Galas can take both parts IN ONE GO? However, I doubt she'd make an actual metal album; that Rotting Christ track just uses a sample of her vocals, and she's not too keen on that kind of music, from what she's said in interviews...

HOWEVER, you guys need to check out Rockbitch. Sadly, they are no more, and their music was definitely not metal - but OH BOY their stage act was:
http://www.rockbitch.com
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rockbitch
http://www.rockbitch.tv
[you can also Google for Rockbitch videos, but most are hosted on porn sites and are definitely not safe for work, children or the easily offended]

I was lucky enough to see them live, and it was a truly magical gig, in every sense of the word. They would come on stage naked, half naked, or scantily clad, carrying a skull with a candle on it. They would then go into a series of sex magic rituals WHILE PLAYING - oral sex, dildos, masturbation and fondling were all carried out, usually to the point of orgasm, during songs; Babe, the guitarist even continued to play while achieving orgasm. They threw out their famous golden condom, and some guy caught it; after the gig he was taken backstage to do (and have done to him) pretty much anything he wanted. Same would go if it was a caught by a woman. They did this kind of thing at every gig that wasn't banned.

It may sound crass, but the whole thing was very well done - much more a magic ritual, with humourous and even pantomime elements thrown in perhaps, but there was an undeniable energy to the whole performance. I thought it should have been the future of rock music, but alas, others weren't so far sighted.

Although British, they lived in France, where they were all part of a 'sex magic commune' (they were hounded by religious idiots too much in Britain, and were left more or less alone in France, which was one reason why the eventually stopped). Check them out NOW.

Shelby Cobras said...

"The stage show was, beside the ordinary setting of
a rock group, filled with half naked ladies (and a
male guitarist, dressed). Blow-up dolls, dildo's
and skulls were used to perform witchcraft rituals.
One of the members, Lucy, was used as a sex- slave. The message of the band was clear: they
liked it rough, not vanilla, with tips on how to
fist-fuck (with gloves, and lubricant).
"

Rockbitch sounds like a good time. too bad they broke up.

Shredmistress said...

Great post about female metal musicians. This is The Shredmistress. I came across your blog because you mention somewhere else 'Shredmistress Ana'. I do hold a trademark to the name Shredmistress and am required by law to police it.

That said, nice meeting you all and check out my stuff if you like: Female Guitarist Shredmistress Rynata

I also teach guitar in Los Angeles, if anyone is interested in Guitar Lessons.

Totep said...

Great list, glad to see Thorr's Hammer get some credit where credit is due!
I'd also add Stef from Catharsis (the US, crusty holy-terror band) and Blacken the Skies; she kicked the shit out of that guitar.
Plus, Amy from Nausea was, hands down, one of the best vocalists of all time.
And I second Sacrilege and Agrimonia.

Totep said...

Oh shit, I totally forgot about Dark Castle, who are one of the best bands I've seen in ages. They're on tour with Zoroaster and Black Tusk. For two only two people they sound like an 8 person band. The guitarist/vocalist brings the metal like it's nobody's business. Check it.

Anonymous said...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jsr0pwihGto

Darkened Nocturn Slaughtercult

German, brootal, female fronted

Unknown said...

Good article !!!

Angela said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Angela said...

I feel like I've learned something... This is awesome, cuz I love chick fronted bands, especially metal bands, and I was listening to my iPod and Arch Enemy came on and I was like, I'm gonna google more chick metal bands, and I did, and I found this... :D I'm so glad I google shit. :D