Thursday, June 18, 2009

COVER GRRLS



In case you've been living in a cave somewhere, there's a pretty healthy musical trend going on right now, which is the burgeoning "all-girl cover band" movement. Groups like Girls Girls Girls (pictured above), Zepparella, Lez Zeppelin, AC/DShe, ThundHerstruck, Hell's Belles, Whole Lotta Rosie, The Ramonas, The WOMentors, Turbonegra (catch 'em June 26th at Annie's Social Club in SF with Tres Hombres XXX and DALTON!), Cheap Chick (below), The Iron Maidens, The Ms. Fits, Deva, Blonde Jersey (formerly Blonde Jovi, but they got sued), Misstallica, and Priss have been making the rounds on the tour circuit, blowing the male-dominated rock scene wide open with both their chops and commanding stage presence. As opposed to most current trends in popular music, I can totally get behind these ladies (no pun intended) and what they're doing. Shredder chicks deserve your support. For reals.



As a service to both the Female Rocker community and to the "rock scene" in general, I've decided to share some of my own ideas for all-girl tribute bands, which break down into four basic categories. All sarcasm aside, I think that each of these would make GREAT bands. Then again, I think alot of things.


1) METAL:

-In the past, I've mentioned that I'd like to see an all-female Manowar tribute band called WOMANOWAR. Manslaughter (left), I'm looking at you.
-That chick Angela Gossow from Arch Enemy has a pretty decent dude-voice. Let's put her in a Morbid Angel cover band and call it MORBID ANGELA (she's even wearing an M.A. shirt in this picture).
-Maybe this is a bit too similar to Womanowar, but WOMANTHRAX would be sweet, too.
-Testament? BREASTAUGMENT.
-I doubt there are very many female Devin Townsend fans out there, but I bet there are at least four. They should get together and form STRAPPING YOUNG LADY.

Here's a hint: Elvira = Mick Mars with boobs. Discuss.



2) PROG ROCK:

Traditionally, prog is the one genre that is absolute POISON to the ladies. But hey, anything can happen.

-King Crimson = QUEEN CRIMSON. (Too easy.)
-Genesis = ESTROGENESIS. (I proposed an all-female death metal band called Estrogenocide awhile back, too.)
-E.L.O. = SHE.L.O. (Suddenly, I feel like I just got a little dumber.)
-Styx = CHYX.

3) CLASSIC ROCK:

-All-girl Queen cover band? KING. Duh.
-Is "grunge" considered classic rock? If so, Nirvana = HERVANA.
-Anyone ever seen a female Elvis impersonator? If so, I hope her name was ELVESS PRESS-ON. (Cue sad trombone.)
-Anyone remember Russell Crowe's band, Thirty Odd Foot of Grunts? I sure do. Well, the ladies do love some Russell Crowe, so I find it only fitting that I recommend an all-female TOFOG cover band. Just can't seem to come up with a witty name involving the female anatomy, though. Oh well.

4) RAP:

-FEMINEM. 'Nuff said.



Get on it, ladies! Rock needs YOU!

3 comments:

Erik Del Tigre said...

Styx? More like CHYX.

Shelby Cobras said...

Yes, I already "covered" that. And by "covered" that, I mean I stole it from you.

Anonymous said...

Watch for ZZ TOPLESS...eeehhhoooohhh.
-Melanie "Manslaughter"