Wednesday, March 25, 2009


Above: Ruthless kung fu murderer Cynthia Rothrock.

In addition to starring in tons of sweet martial arts-themed action movies in the 80's and 90's, Cynthia Rothrock was also the first Caucasian movie star to blow up in China. Her roles in films like China O'Brien 1 & 2, The Inspector Wears Skirts, Magic Crystal, No Retreat, No Surrender 2 and Blonde Fury made her an international star, and her vicious brand of brutal ass-kicking cemented her spot as an international BADASS. Cynthia holds black belts in Tang Soon Do, Tae Kwon Do, Eagle Claw, Wu Shu, and Northern Shaolin disciplines, making her pretty much the martial arts equivalent of Yoda.

Let's put this in perspective: Right-wing douchebag Chuck Norris (right), focus of heaping portions of internet idolatry, has a brown belt in Brazilian jiu-jitsu, in addition to founding his own discipline, Chun Kuk Do, which is based on Tang Soon Do (which Rothrock has mastered). Compared to Cynthia's accomplishments, that's pretty weak. It is generally considered a well-known fact among martial artists that Cynthia Rothrock could beat the ever-loving shit out of Chuck Norris. If she felt like it.

Did I mention that she was also the five-time undefeated World Karate Champion in forms and weapons, 1981-1985? These competitions were not split into men's and women's categories. They were open to everyone.
Jesus Fucking Christ! What a gnarly chick!
Cynthia Rothrock is an all-around Bro and should be treated with the utmost fear, awe, and respect. By which I mean you should drop by her Myspace page and leave a nice comment. I'm just sayin'.

Below: Cynthia prepares to poke you with a large stick.

Sweet Rothrock tribute vid (turn the sound down):

Cynthia takes on ALL the guys from Black Oak Arkansas:

And, in the general Martial Arts spirit, a quick video from Charlie, the Karate Monkey:

Next week: FRED DRYER!


Anonymous said...

I went to her myspace and I gotta be honest, I got a boner looking at her pics she had up. She doesn't still look like that, does she? I don't know. Maybe all that martial arts kept her ass in tip-top shape.

cory said...

Dude i totally jerk it to Rothrock's myspace like 10 times a day. I love older women. Like, OVER 60 older women. Yum.

Anonymous said...

Totally agree with the post above me. What's up with 23 year olds thinking they're MILFs just because they've got kids? A MILF is about more than just being a mom.