TEEN CTHULHU - SIMPLE ELEGANCE (1999)

Remember Teen Cthulhu from that split with Iron Lung I posted last month? You should go get that if you haven't yet. Then you should go get their follow-up full-length Ride The Blade off of Cosmic Hearse. Then you should go somewhere very dark and very isolated, preferably a densely wooded place under a full moon. Bring a knife.

Washington's own Teen Cthulhu went way more "black metal" in the latter half of their much-too-short career, but this, their debut album, finds them in a much more messy, spazzy, powerviolent place, a place closer to In/Humanity or His Hero Is Gone than Gorgoroth or Immortal. Punk as fuck, sure, but titles like "Daygon-Hydra", "The Great Race of Yith", and "Bastard Swords" let you know that the slippery tentacles of Yog-Soggoth were groping these lads since day one.
In accordance with the standard of half-assed, credited plagiarism I've established as of late, I'll end with a quote from the band itself, a quote that adorns both their Last.FM and (fan) Myspace pages:

"Armed with blast-beats eternal and distorted everything, Teen Cthulhu brings a fucking tornado of rusty blades and hammers down upon those who who dare approach the vaulted hallways of White Center, WA. Much like a dusted Orc force feeding a Werewolf it’s own fur, the sons of Cthulhu will degregate and masticate all puff-metallers and jocks. These men are on a mission to cut a wide swath of blood through the hallways of hardcore and will bring the battle back to the homes of their oppressors, utilizing everything from lightning fast blasts to plodding doom in their palm muted death-march across this Earth... These Clerics of the metal way have been given maxed out attribute bonuses and enchanted amplification in unholy aid to their Chaotic Evil quest, so be forewarned: Teen Cthulhu will roll a natural 20 and decapitate you in a single blow, no saving throw."

Download HERE

Don't go in the ice cream truck.