Thursday, July 15, 2010


The second in a series of five posts based on topics suggested by our beloved readership...

Today's topic is aptly summed up in the previous video, namely, the fact that short songs are good (and good for you). An anonymous Bro back here requested a "history of the one-second grindcore song" post, but I'd like to open it up a little and focus instead on short songs in general. Now, The Dead Kennedys had the right idea, but even the 28-second-long "Short Songs" is practically a Rick Wakeman epic compared to some of the other songs we'll be looking at today.

Right around the same time the DKs released "Short Songs" ('86/'87), the "Stairway To Heaven" of one-second grind songs was released, Napalm Death's "You Suffer" from Scum. "You Suffer" was a complete game-changer, marking the birth of the grindcore Cold War, a virtual arms race of bands trying to write the shortest, fastest songs possible. The song even got its own official video (shown below), and has inspired legions of tributes -- audio, video, and otherwise -- over the years.

"You Suffer" official video:

Fan video:

Another one:

Guitar cover:

... aaand back to the blokes in Napalm Death for a live version:

But wait, a challenger! NYC Mayhem's "Not", released a FULL YEAR EARLIER than "You Suffer"!:

Are NYC Mayhem the true godathers of one-second grind? It certainly appears that way, as "Not?" was a track on their second demo, released all the way back in 1985!


Here are a couple other one-second-or-less metal tracks, from bands that I know little else about:

"Blunt Force Trauma" by Graveskeeper:

"Last of The Light" by Candy Cane Traitor Molestor (???):

Then there's these adorable little rockers (sorry, but the stick-clicks disqualify you):


The short-for-short's-sake genre was turned on its ear yet again in 2003, with the release of Agoraphobic Nosebleed's Altered States of America. Altered States featured 100 tracks in just over 20 minutes, many of them clocking in at 4 seconds but none of them actually ONE SECOND LONG. But here's the catch: The album featured one song only accessible by reversing two minutes from the beginning of the first song. Was this the first grindcore song to ever exist in NEGATIVE SPACE? Have the very confines of the space-time continuum collapsed ALTOGETHER?!?! THE HORROR!!!

The track in question - Agoraphobic Nosebleed, "Wonder Drug Wonderland":

Agoraphobic Nosebleed, for some reason, always makes me think of Anal Cunt. And speaking of Anal Cunt, let's take a listen to their 88-song 7", released in 1988 and probably the only other EP able to compete with Altered States in terms of song density and quantity...

Anal Cunt, 88 Song EP, side A:

Side B:

Is it cheating to layer songs OVER other songs? If not, Anal Cunt definitely holds the title with their 5,643 song EP released a year later in 1989. Want it?

5643 Song EP side A:

Side B:

Anyways, I could go on and on about one-second-or-less grind songs, but the truth is my computer is about to take a big shit on me. So let's open it up to the peanut gallery: what are some of YOUR favorite super-short jams? Any genre, any year.

Comments section, GO!


Aylmer said...

Not too into the ultra shorties cuz they can be a little harsh:

but some 20-40 second classics:

"No Fkuicgn" by NOMEANSNO

"Aareton Joulu" EP by TERVEET KADET, most of songs are in the 30-45 sec range. But THEY ALL FUCKING SHRED YOUR BALLS TO MEATY RIBBONS. I'm uploading it to Megaupload now, so that should take about as long as it takes to type this... aaaaand here it is:

LORDS tend to hover around the 1:00 minute mark, but fuck do they shred it UP. "Fuck All Y'all Motherfuckers" is a sick LP.

Can someone please tell me the html so I don't have to paste in full links? It's soooooo unsightly.

The Thing That Should Not Be said...

You pretty much ran the gamut there, with the whole 'Short-ass ongs' shtick -I dunno if I can think of any more. I think Naked City have a couple, notably on 'Heretic', but I could be wrong. Oh, you know why you think of AC when you see ANb? Scott Hull.

The Thing That Should Not Be said...

Ongs. D'OH. BTW, they ain't grindcore, but theres an entire live set that exists in the negative space before 'Somewhere Between The Train Station & The Dumping Ground' by Cavity. Put it on and rewind it. Its the full gig that was part documented on the split 2x7" with Bongzilla. It rips. Also, if you rewind from the beginning of the first 2ManyDJ's CD, theres a bonus mix of Kylie Minogue's 'Can't Get You Out Of My Head'. Just sayin' is all.....DON'T JUDGE ME.

Aylmer said...

Also, the ANAL CUNT 88 song EP mostly sounds like a semi-playful scuffle on a drum kit between a terrier and a mastiff puppy - which is awesome. But I'm writing like OzzyApu which is not awesome.

VICTIM'S FAMILY have a ripping shorty on Things I Hate To Admit: "Stupid" (12secs)

ABSOLUTELY CRUCIALLY On White Bread Blues V.F. have the coolest bit of 3 second backmasking EVER, at the end of "Anti Satan Song for Mom". If you don't have it on Vinyl, I went to the trouble of converting the mp3 to reversed WAV format using Audacity. WHY?? BECAUSE I FUCKING LOVE YOU ALL!

DL SONG BELOW to hear the radness:

Oh and let's not forget "Stupid, Stupid War" (25secs); and "Slit My Wrist" (29secs) on DRI's DEALING WITH IT.

RUDI PENI'S DEATH CHURCH: "Psycho Squat" 29secs; "Poppy Cock" 35secs; "Cosmic Hearse" 38secs. CACOPHONY: "Momento Mori" (34secs);
"Black on Gold" (29secs).

Sorry, I guess these are all sprawling epics compared to the 1-3 sec Grindlettes mandated in this post, but like I say, the really short ones can just be too much for me to DEAL WITH:

Heartfelt apologies for rambling on so long!!!

Helm said...

I'd just like to say that the grandpa Simpson getting the ball in the nads to 'You Suffer But Why' is a perfect synaesthetic existentialist statement.

Aylmer said...

And just have to second that Helm (because you're smarter than me!)

By the way - for some of our younger readers - the Victim's Family backmask is a reference to Al Gore's wife Tipper. While benevolent Al has been on a crusade against global warming, 20yrs ago his charming wife was on more of a crusade for "cultural cleansing" with her organisation the PMRC (Parents Music Resource Center). NO BAD WORDS OR IMAGERY IN MUSIC KIDS. To put it simply, Tipper is an ANAL CUNT.

Shelby Cobras said...

Jesus Christ Aylmer get a hobby.

But seriously, "No Fkuingn" (or however it's spelled) is a great call, always loved that song. Ever heard Nomeansno's acapella cover of the DK's "Forward To Death" on the Virus 100 comp? I should really post that... PS html code for comment hyperlinks is carrot-a href="(link)"-end-carrot-hyperlink here-carrot-/a-end carrot.

That probably seems more complicated than it is, couldn't figure out how to write it without making it invisible...

Helm - good call.

Good work everyone. Your checks are in the mail.

PS Aylmer: extra points for Victim's Family references.

Aylmer said...

Hobby? THIS IS MY LIFE. And job. PAY ME.

Shelby Cobras said...

You're going to need to talk to the folks in Accounting about that. Also, I'm going to need you to just... move your desk... as far back into that corner... as possible. Yeeaaaahhhh... That would be great.

Manslaughter said...

Dang Aylmer!!! I have to say, one of my favorite albums from one of my favorite bands is The Residents Commercial album. Not brutal, and totally false, but 50 songs in 50 minutes is pretty fuckin' impressive.
Get it HERE. Oh, and Aylmer, if Shelby's description of how to hyperlink doesn't make sense just google "how to hyperlink in html".

BrundleflyKT said...

Anal Blast - Honey/Bloody Hole/Suck Your Shit OFf my Dick

they made like eighty versions of this song, but the official is my favorite short song. the reason being is that it actually resembles a song.

I will use this shitty Meatshits cd Sniper at the Fag Parade as an example. THere was a period in my life where i would just buy any cd with a stupid offensive theme and cover and so forth, so i picked this piece of garbage up and a majority of the songs are a sample and then someone yelling after that.

I think this is one of the biggest jokes every played on metalheads.
what is the value of a song with no content? that its short and thats cool? what else is there to offer besides telling your friend about it?

thats why ive never been able to understand altered states, I enjoy AN's actual songs, but come on, are you guys fucking kidding me? theyre ripping you off pal and you love it.

RyGar said...

All/Descendents - "All"
All - "No All!"
Charles Bronson uses samples longer than the songs they accompany.

Aylmer said...

Manslaughter: thanks for reminding me that I should have just googled that to start off with, because Shelby's instructions make no sense at all and may prevent me from ever being able to do it ever.

To the CEO: that could be a problem, because I've actually moved my desk into the big corner office with the Bay view and the couches and shit. Accounting said no money, apparently it's all about the "prestige".