Tuesday, December 7, 2010

FUCK YOU, YOGI BEAR


The Yogi Bear Information Pamphlet is a series of Tweets sent back and forth by comedians Tim Heidecker (Tim And Eric Awesome Show, Great Job) and Neil Hamburger, America's Funnyman, on December 2, 2010. They were written as a warning to keep viewers from the new 3D Yogi Bear abomination (starring Dan Aykroyd and Justin Timberlake as Yogi and Boo Boo, respectively) on a long drive between Washington DC and Nashville, TN, and were collected, transcribed, and arranged into pamphlet form by one Katie Hendricks. Here is a quick sampling of a dozen of my favorites:

- Neil_Hamburger
Glenn Danzig to reunite with Misfits to
urinate on cast and crew of new "Yogi Bear"
movie in Hollywood December 16.

- Neil_Hamburger
BEHIND THE SCENES OF HIT MOVIE:
Aykroyd and Timberlake laugh over
"accidental" fecal-sex during recording of
Yogi Bear voices.

- timheidecker
#yogibearfacts: 9hours long. Not in English.
Dan Akroyd came on intern's face during vo
recording.

- Neil_Hamburger
Justin Timberlake drew on his experience as
a human urinal for his portrayal of beloved
Boo Boo. #fuckyouyogibear

- timheidecker
AP reporting #yogibear Movie contains
subliminal messages encouraging children
to commit suicide!

- Neil_Hamburger
Timberlake and Aykroyd reportedly "double
penetrated circus bear" on night off. (CNN)
#behindthescenesofyogibear

- timheidecker
Why is @burgerking offering free
temporary swastika tattoos with purchase
of #yogibear kids value meal?

- Neil_Hamburger
Patch Adams and Yogi Bear to team up to
teach children the value of drinking
ammonia-based cleansers. #thanksgiving

- timheidecker
AMC theaters now say: we may refuse to
screen #yogibear movie. Understaffed for
mass disposal of dead bodies and human
waste.

- Neil_Hamburger
So sad to see Dan Aykroyd sink so low...I
have admired him since seeing his
groundbreaking work in Britney Spears'
"Crossroads" movie.

- Neil_Hamburger
(CNN): "Aykroyd Channeled Spirits Of
Charles Manson, Benito Mussolini During
Yogi Bear Voiceover Sessions And
Subsequent Serial Rapes"

- Neil_Hamburger
"Yogi Bear" becomes first film to be banned
in Poland since "Hitler's Giant Cock And
Great Ideas Also" was banned from theaters
in 1967

Lucky for you, the pamphlet itself was uploaded (in two different handy .pdf formats) HERE, so that you too can download it, print some up, and hand 'em out in front of your local AMC! DO YOUR SHARE TO STOP THE BEAR!

4 comments:

The Thing That Should Not Be said...

Like, not only did this NOT need to be made, THEY COULDN'T EVEN BE BOTHERED TO DO A GOOD JOB OF IT. Seriously, I think movie studio execs should all just drink a TON of Kool Aid, sit us all down with 3D glasses on and then just PISS IN OUR FACES. IT WOULD SAVE FUCKING TIME LOST SITTING THROUGH THEIR SHITTY FUCKING MOVIES.

Oh, and that poster? 8 year olds dude. Crrrrrrrrreeepy.

Erik Del Tigre said...

Check out the original poster and tagline for the movie.

Brilliant, really.

Erik Del Tigre said...

Oops. What the fuck? Here it is.
http://imgsrv.x96.com/image/
kxrk/UserFiles/Image/Kerry/yogi%20big.jpg

The Thing That Should Not Be said...

Yeeeeeeeeeeeeah, I know a few Bears who tend to think the same way....