Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Don't be scerd

So I’m reading everyone’s top tens (and bottom 20’s) and it blows my mind how many people are suckling the teet of Kvekrtak. Seriously? I understand that listening to real black metal all the time can bum you out and your little ears might get tired from all the frosty grimness but come the fuck on. I know what you’re looking for, you want a band that makes BM fun. You want BM for good times, upbeat, wake up early, pot of coffee, I’m going to clean my apartment BM. Sure man, that’s fine. But don’t be such a fucking tween about it. You’re an adult, listening to bubblegum black metal is ball shrinking behavior. But still, I sympathize. And although the new Inquisition record is the only thing I listen to anymore (best record of 2010), I have been known in the past to reach for some more melodic or upbeat metal for parties and social occasions. So, if you’re looking to get amped and get some shit done, or if you’re djing a party with mixed company, go ahead, put on some At the Gates, or some Arch Enemy, or Goatwhore, or Black Breath, or Satyricon, or even later Dissection. Or better yet, just put on some Witchery. Just don't be a pussy about it.



JGD said...

...or some Artery Eruption.

SEANFORD said...

hahah. i said upbeat metal, not barnyard sodomy metal. although i guess it depends on how much apartment cleaning you're trying to get done.

stoked to check out some Blaspherian.

JGD said...

Seriously though, I feel so vindicated about hating Kvelertak.

You guys are the only people I can trust now.

Camellia sinensis said...

"a band that makes BM fun"..

Am I the only person who reads ill con that instantly thinks "bowel movement" every time I see the BM abbreviation? Am I?
I happen to be a fan of BM..The olde Norwegian kind and some French stuff my friend turned me onto.. New BM doesn't do it for me ..ha ha...

That being stated, is Kvekrtak the new deconstipator? <---that is not a real medical term, although it could be a name for a BM band and now i have completed the circle.

"You want BM for good times" fucking rad...hail natas!

btw: Where do i order those BM greeting cards?

SEANFORD said...

right here.


i took a fun BM then found the link. also, Dark and Somber Greetings will be on my radio show tonight. moheak.com - 7pm(pst)(butt plug)

The Thing That Should Not Be said...

Generally, I don't like Black Metal. I only tend to like it when it's artsy as fuck, made by serious lunatics, or both, but what i DON'T understand is why the fuck anyone would want 'feelgood' 'funtime' Black Metal. It just seems intrinsically against what BM stands/stood for - 'No Mosh, No Core, No Fun' right?

Kvelertak don't even sound BM to me, they sound like people who vaguely think they know what it is and just took their idea of a shot at it...and missed by a country mile. Hardcore kids who want a new gimmick or somesuch....I dunno. Who fuckin' cares?
just go listen to Aura Noir.

SEANFORD said...


Shelby Cobras said...

Only Inquisition is real.