Because everyone loves some hard Anal from 1997 on a Saturday morning...
ANAL CUNT - I LIKE IT WHEN YOU DIE (1997)
Wow, where do I start with Anal Cunt aka A.C. aka AxCx?
First off, I guess I should state that these guys actually aren't named after the G.G. Allin song of the same name. Anal Cunt formed in 1988 in Boston, and G.G.'s song wasn't released until 1993 (on Brutality And Bloodshed For All). So there's that.
Anal Cunt started out playing completely "non-musical" music, just quick blasts of 100% improvised noise with blastbeats and screaming. Although they, uh, "matured" over the years and actually began writing real music and doing cover songs, the element of complete and utter chaos has always remained. This particular album, their fourth official full-length (their back catalog of EP's, demos, splits, and unofficial releases is pretty massive), finds them at that crucial crossroads, playing songs with actual "notes" and "choruses" about half the time while grinding away with drunken abandon for the other half. It kicks ass.
Anal Cunt has always made it a point to be as stupid, offensive, and ridiculous as possible (as evidenced by song titles like "You've Got Cancer", "Pottery's Gay", "You Are an Interior Decorator", "Your Cousin is George Lynch", "You Drive an IROC", "No, We Don't Want to Do a Split Seven Inch With Your Stupid Fucking Band", "Your Favorite Band is Supertramp", and "I'm In A.C." -- just to name a few of the 52 tracks on this disc). They also have an affinity for heavy metal inside jokes, such as the track "Kyle From Incantation Has A Moustache" (Kyle from Incantation actually makes a cameo on this song, playing drums) or "Locking Dropdead in McDonald's". Anal Cunt is just plain stupid, mean, awesome metal fun.
A side note: This disc also contains a track titled "You're In A Coma". In a tragic twist of fate, vocalist Seth Putnam went into a coma in 2004, as a result of an overdose on crack, heroin, Ambien, and alcohol. Though his prognosis wasn't good initially, he eventually recovered, and has performed the song live several times since.
Above: This is Anal Cunt. Below: This is not Anal Cunt.
ANAL BLAST - VAGINAL VEMPIRES (1997)
First off: I don't know why they mis-spelled "vampires" in the title. Second: They aren't actually called Anal OF Blast. That's another metal inside joke, poking fun at Cradle of Filth's logo. Third: I could not post the cover art of the album on this blog in good conscience. Fourth: These guys have a really unhealthy fascination with menstrual blood, tampons, and vaginas. Fifth: They play some truly ass-kicking deathgrind. Fuck this. I'm starting to feel REALLY weird trying to explain the neuroses of these "Anal" metal bands. I'm outta here.
Have a nice day.
(For uncensored cover art, click here. Perv.)
Above: This is Anal Blast. Below: This is not Anal Blast.