KAPTAIN KOBRAS' KRAZY KONCERT KALENDAR! (Summer 2009 Edition)

I realize that this post will only apply to about 5% of our readers (those who reside in or around the Bay Area). But that's kind of the whole idea that Illogical Contraption was built upon. 20 posts that please 5% of the readership each? That's a 100% success rate! Awesome!


Looking for some hot Summer fun? Look no further than Kaptain Kobras' Krazy Koncert Kalendar, your one-stop shop for rock 'n' roll awesomeness in the San Francisco Bay Area! Trying to plan a vacation, but need a sweet event to plan it around? We've got you covered. Need to get your fix of fart- or dinosaur-themed heavy metal? No problem. Just plain BORED? Not anymore.
This Summer promises to be by far the BEST in recent memory, with a whole shitload of bands (that I'm in) playing a whole shitload of shows, right in your backyard! Check out the schedule below, then strap on your boogie shoes and sweetest pair of Oakleys. This Summer's gonna sizzle, and now's the time to reserve a front row seat for all the hot action!

-Monday, June 15th at the Elbo Room (647 Valencia in SF): Live Evil, Freeball & Lightning (members of Drunk Horse), and Dalton. Epic Bro Rock. Monday nights RULE!!!

-Friday, June 19th at SUB-Mission (formerly Balazo Gallery), 2183 Mission at 18th: Skitzo, Farticus, Cretaceous, Savage Machine, and Fluff Grrl (click here for band links and stuff). A night of diversity, metal, and glorified bodily functions.

-HOLY SHIT THIS SHOW IS GONNA RULE - Friday, June 26th at Annie's Social Club (917 Folsom): Tres Hombres XXX (ZZ Top cover band featuring Brian Fucking Kehoe, insane shredmaster from both Kehoe Nation and M.I.R.V.), Turbonegra (all-girl Turbonegro cover band), and Dalton. It's door guy/booker Michael's birthday. Buy him a beer.

(July will be a slow month for shows, as Dalton enters the studio to record their highly anticipated full-length debut album and shoots a video. But Pentagram (YAY!) and Nachmystium (BOO!) are playing at the DNA Lounge July 2nd. Be forewarned, though: Yes and Asia are playing that SAME NIGHT at the Regency Ballroom. Decisions, decisions.)

-Sunday, Aug 8th at the Evil Dead Shed in Concord, CA: Cretaceous with more bands TBA, once again put on by our pals the Diablo Valley Pyrate Punx. The last show we played at this place was amazing. Dirty, backyard mosh pits RULE. Did I mention that Cretaceous is in the process of mixing a brand spankin' new 5-song EP? Way better than the last one, I assure you. Putting someone besides me behind the mixing board is always a good idea.

-Tuesday, August 4th at The Knockout (3223 Mission Street in SF): Dalton, Farticus, and my bros Thirtythreeandathird (from Arcata -- download their demo here). Tuesdays are the NEW Monday!



So there you have it. A WHOLE GODDAMN SUMMER of awesome music, brought to you through the courtesy of Illogical Contraption and Kaptain Kobras himself. I urge you ALL to attend, and also to rock out with your cock out. Or jam out with your clam out, depending on your gender.