TAINTED WINDOWS: THE FACTS

Above: Tainted Windows, Left to right -- Billy Corgan, Robin Zander, Beck Hansen, Wayne Fountain.

Sorry, guys, but I blew it.
In yesterday's post about "supergroups" and the Apocalypse, I mistakenly reported that "Tainted Windows", an all-star pop group featuring members of Smashing Pumpkins, Hansen, Cheap Trick, and Mountains of Wayne, had not in fact released an album yet. But thanks to the astute observations of an anonymous reader, I now stand humbly corrected. Painted Windows released an album, entitled Jackin' The Weenis, OVER A MONTH AGO, which somehow managed to elude my detection. In no less than three comments on said post, this anonymous reader gently nudged me in the direction of factual accuracy, as a service to both myself and the readers of this blog. Samples from his comments are reprinted below:

"If you don't care about them, why would you take the time to write about them, and even post pictures of them? Or if you're going to write about them, wouldn't it make sense to find out a bit about them first so that you don't make really stupid gaffes and come off as being unintentionally humorous?
Is there a link between this being a metal blog, and the pride you display in your ignorance?" And also...
"...flaming here is too much like shooting fish in a barrel. So just go on congratulating yourselves on your successful display of ignorance. Yes, it DOES make you look JUST as cool as you think it does. The rest of us rilly rilly rilly respect you for how much you don't know, for the pride you take in how little you know, and for not letting that ignorance get in your way of having a lot to say anyway."


Right: Tainted Windows bassist Billy Corgan, pictured with his girlfriend Mickey Rourke.

Wow. I've obviously been called out, and I apologize for my negligence.
I will admit that the only information I gathered about Tainted Windows was from two articles that popped up from Googling "shitty supergroup", both of which were published AFTER their appearance at SXSW but BEFORE the release of Jackin' The Weenis. I did not research the storied career of this band nearly as well as I should have, which I regret deeply. Fact-based and completely non-humorous posts, such as the one I wrote yesterday, have no room for such a flagrant disregard of factual accuracy.
As penance for my ignorance, I've spent several hours researching this amazing band, and now present you with a list of fascinating facts about Tainted Windows, concerning both its members and the band itself.

-Tainted Windows was actually first formed in 1997, when drummer Billy Corgan met vocalist Jeff Beck Hansen at a Scientology retreat in the Swiss Alps. They recorded a 3-song EP, Tits Up, the following year, before enlisting Wayne Coyne from Mountains of Wayne to play guitar and Rick Zander from Cheap Trick to play bass.
-Drummer Wayne Campbell dated Billy Corgan's sister, D'Arcy Corgan, for a brief period in the early 80's.
-Tainted Windows was nominated for Best Metal Performance at the Grammys in 1986, but lost to Jethro Tull.
-In 2003, temporary bassist Cliff Halliburton was killed in a tour bus accident in Sweden. Painted Windows responded by recording a tribute album, entitled Pastor of Muppets, the next year.
-Guitarist James Aha (from 80's synth-pop band A-Ha) caused a stir by being the first MAN to appear nude in Playboy (March, 2004). In his pictorial debut, he was clad in only a feather boa and a pair of Uggs.
-Tainted Windows was brought before the Supreme Court last month, on charges that their new record contained backward-masked messages attempting to convert their fans to Scientology. All charges were dropped when it was revealed that these hidden messages were just samples from the film Battlefield Earth (starring John Travolta), and contained no Scientologist messages whatsoever.
-Bassist Michael Anthony quit Tainted Windows just last week, and was replaced by a shape-shifting lizard named Xaxxnar from the planet Nebulon-6.

I hope that this post has served to mend any bonds I may have unintentionally broken with my readership, and I will do my best to protect their fragile emotions in the future. Again, I'm REALLY, REALLY sorry.

Enjoy a clip of Tainted Windows IN ACTION: