Friday, October 15, 2010

A selection of qoutes from avid IllCon reader "Generic Viagra"

Bro of The Highest Order "GENERIC VIAGRA" (artist's interpretation)

Perusing some old posts here on IC recently, I noticed several comments added recently by a prolific reader going by the name "Generic Viagra", a verbose and well-spoken proponent of the titular weiner drug, and, by all accounts, a big fan of horror films, death metal, and prog rock.
Long story short, GENERIC VIAGRA's true identity has become an enthralling mystery to me, and I urge him to contact ICHQ forthwith regarding a full-time writing job. Viagra Man's method of operation consists of usually leaving comments only on really old posts, so his words can sometimes be hard to find. But I have located many of them, and I offer them to you now, a tribute to the unseen man, the genius, the friend of all boners...

- On Kataklysm's The Mystical Gate of Reincarnation:

"I never heard the band due to bad publicity, but i have to say that is this is what this guys did in their early years then am going after whatever they released back then.

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- On Harry Manfredini's Friday The 13th Soundtrack Collection:

"This movies are just great, and I had forgotten there was one released in 3D, the old age 3D, they should re-release it with a digital enhancements to fit the 3D movie theaters of today.

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Fucking Viagra Haiku, man! This guy is brilliant!

Who are you, Viagra Man?

- On Koenjihyakkei's Angherr Shisspa:

"Despite I like Prog in some ways, perhaps the most traditional ways of Prog I still have a hard time listening the the whole bunch of things out there. And I believe am not ready for a Japanese band just yet.

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(latent racism?)

- On a post re-upping old Rapidshare links to MediaFire:

"Now I can get a hold of some records I missed a while back, by the way the last picture of the smiling baby, if you just take a quick look, really freaks out.

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"


- On David Yow and The Jesus Lizard:

"Yow is a great front man, and I have heard stuff about the Jesus Lizard but never had a chance to listen to any record of them, it's time to see what this was all about.

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"


Your words haunt me.

- On Helm's post about Greek black metal:

"I can't believe I learned so much in sol little time it is amazing, the Greek Metal scene is pretty wide, and you were covering just the 90's, that's huge, and a great deal of work as well. Thanks for enlightening my road Helm.

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"


(do I smell bromance?)

- On bad CGI in Stephen King movies:

"There are so many crappy CGI movies out there it's ridiculous. Not only movies but TV shows as well, and it's just depressing. Sometimes I do enjoy this movies, they bring me back to a time when everything was easier, but still I laugh at it.

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Well said.

Are YOU the Viagra Man?

- On the art and psychology of the 1980's "paranoid-comedy":

"American Werewolf is a true classic, one of my favorite horror flicks of all time, a true masterpiece. There are no movies like this one anymore, a shame.

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"


- On JuggaloFaith.com:

"Check this out taken from the juggalofaith.com "There will be times I can do Sunday Services Live on MJS Radio on Sunday and there will be times when I will not be able to do Sunday Services on Sunday." If it is Sunday Services, and it's LIVE, of course you will do them on SUNDAY, stupid.

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"


OH SNAP!

Boner-pill salesman or misunderstood poet?

I think the key to Viagra Man's identity lies in a comment left following a post about Demolition Hammer's Epidemic of Violence back on August 24th. The comment itself is NOT, in fact, a quote from "Generic Viagra" himself, but rather an IllCon reader who goes by the odd moniker "Kris". The comment, while straying from "Generic Viagra"'s usual cadence and syntax with its use of abstract poetry and experimental composition, still shares plenty of common ground with Viagra Man's themes and subject matter, and I suspect that "Generic Viagra" and "Kris" might actually be the same person!
I present this comment now, in its entirety, as a conclusion to this mindbending and mysterious saga:

"There are more and more people that are in the need of Buy Viagra, many for serious and real erectile dysfunctions, others just for the placer of using Viagra, Generic Viagra. Now with the internet almost in every home it is more easy to get Viagra Online or Cheap Viagra or if you want you can purchase Viagra Online Without Prescription or Viagra Without Prescription, you just have to take the easiest way to obtain the product."

So true. So very, very true.

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13 comments:

Charles T Heckler said...

This is totally biting my Academy of Art column from the Loins Mouth. HIpster.

Shelby Cobras said...

WOULDN'T KNOW, NEVER READ IT

Aylmer said...

Oh please may this continue. I love a mystery!

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Helm said...

Haha things just recursed, didn't they?

Shelby Cobras said...

Tough to say. I sort of doubt that "Jason Smith from California" is actually shilling for generic pharmeceuticals. Boner pill POSER is my guess.

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The Loin's Mouth said...

http://www.theloinsmouth.com/issue3/Greatest-Graffiti-Artist.php

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