FULHAM'S 13: PREPARE FOR ANNIHILATION

Photo courtesy of NY POST

By now most of you have probably heard about the UFO hubbub in NYC, after all, it's been a top story on Yahoo! News all morning and even CNN has gotten in on the hype. But for the uninitiated, the story sums up thusly: as many as 13 strange orbs spotted over Manhattan on 10/13/10, chaos in the streets, goverment cover-up, reptilian conspiracy, etc. etc.
Here's some amateur footage:



(LOL @ "They're coming from Jersey!")

And a street-level perspective on the total chaos that ensued:



Pretty crazy, right?
Well, not really. Nobody seemed interested in the fact that shitloads of balloons were being released in Times Square that same day, and as something of a half-assed ufologist, I can tell you with a fair amount of certainty--I've seen better. OK? OK.

But wait a fucking cotton-picking minute...

Remember when Xiaoshan Airport in China was shut down back in July because of... Well, because of WHATEVER THE FUCK THIS IS?




Well. Shit has been heating up, UFO-wise, in the last couple months, and a sighting in fucking MANHATTAN--witnessed by thousands of people, no less--IS a bit of a rarity. Should we be taking this most recent sighting a bit more seriously? Hmmm...

Enter former NORAD member and Air Force officer Stanley A. Fulham (left), UFO truth-seeker and author of the New Age alien tome Challenges of Change (below right).
Fulham, who converses with transdimensional beings he calls as The Transcendors via a "high-profile channeler", described the benevolent beings as such: "43,000 very old souls who combine their vast experience and knowledge through eons of incarnations, providing advice and information to humans in search of basic realities of mankind’s existence."

(More on Mr. Fulham over at Extraordinary Intelligence)

So some crackpot says aliens are trying to help us out, so what? How could that possibly be connected to the Manhattan sightings? You're rambling again, Cobras.

WRONG.

One of the main tenets of Mr. Fulham's research is his assertion that The Transcendors would visit mankind via non-invasive UFO contact in major metropolitan areas on, wait for it...

OCTOBER 13, 2010!

According to his completely-accurate and 100%-infallibe prediction, The Transcendors would avoid direct contact because "...They are aware from eons of experience with other planets in similar conditions their sudden intervention would cause fear and panic." Duh.
If you're mind isn't completely blown right now, consider the following video. This thing only has about 315 or so views, but it appears to be the key to MUCH bigger things. Recorded via live webcam, I present you, the readers of Illogical Contraption, with yet another nugget of dome-spinning proof that A) Aliens are among us, B) The Illuminati-controlled government is completely aware and actively surpressing information, and C) Stanley A. Fulham knows what the fuck is up.



(thanks to Charles The Heckler for the link)

That's right motherfuckers, a UFO over the Golden Gate Bridge. On OCTOBER. 13th. 2010. Notice how the webcam was mysteriously "disconnected" right after the "object" appeared? Fuck.
Stanley Fulham has made a believer out of me, although I disagree with one main principle: benevolent aliens? HELLLLLL NO. The Transcendors are here to fuck us up, bro. Straight up. Contact is coming, but we will not be delivered into "enlightenment" or "happiness". More like "lazer beams" and "enslavement". Our time is near.

Check out more craziness at the official Stanley A Fulham Challenges of Change website (recommended).

WE'RE DOOMED