Tuesday, May 4, 2010


If you've been reading IllCon for a bit, you are probably somewhat accustomed to my (Cobras') taste in stuff -- I have my likes and dislikes, and I attack them both with equal vehemence. And as I'm sure you're aware, one of my favorite subjects to discuss is heavy fucking METAL. I am extremely picky about my metal, but I do like a varied cross-section of it. I think the metal genre is a breeding ground for some of the most creative and articulate musicians in the world, but it can also be a hotbed of pretension, falseness, and mediocrity.
I'm not that old (*cough*31 this Saturday*cough*), but I am elderly enough to remember a time when the metal kingdom was a more honest and wholesome (?) place, before jocks and fratbrats had taken over the mosh pits and any self-respecting Hessian worth a stack of his own cassette demos wouldn't be caught dead wearing eyeliner or emo bangs. And up until the present, I prefer metal from this era -- I guess I like my metal like I like my women: dirty, mean as fuck, and at least 18 years old.

Right: It's OK to be old and love metal.

But I don't want to pigeon-hole myself. Lately I've become a little worried -- am I missing out on significant amounts of awesome metal as I contentedly kick back and rock the same old Obituary and Deicide albums once again? I don't know a Gojira from a Pelican from a Lamb of God from a Job For A Cowboy, and I've always just assumed that I'm not missing anything. I'm pretty sure I'm not.
But lately I've been making a very real and focused effort to catch up on "modern" metal a little bit, in all its different forms. I'd hate for a game-changing album to slip under my radar as I pore over another batch of Carcass bootlegs here at the retirement home, and as a result, I've been stocking up on immense amounts of metal from '09 and beyond, separating the wheat from the chaff in some kind of an attempt to reconnect with the present.

Left: Shelby Cobras, circa late April, 2010.

For the most part, it's been a pretty fruitless endeavor. More and more often, I am reminded that my taste in music is usually the polar opposite of "critic's" taste in music, and I will almost always be the most disappointed by a band or album that has received large amounts of praise in the media. Examples: Remember when all the blogs and magazines had a huge boner for Nachmystium? Assassins: Black Meddle, Part 1 (great fucking title, guys) was on everyone's year-end best-of list, but I guess I just never "got it" (I wrote about it here). In fact, I think Nachtmystium is terrible. Now word comes down the pipe that Assassins 2: Black Metal Boogaloo (or whatever) is on the way, which I'm sure all the "critics" have already decided is awesome. I don't get it. My impression: hipster ninnies playing watered down, thoroughly mediocre hipster "experi-metal" for hipster beardos to jerk each other off to. Or what about Cobalt? This is another band that everyone couldn't get enough of last year, and seeing their album Gin on all the Top 10 of 2009 lists last year, I was fooled into buying it. I guess I'll never learn. I found their music to be a formulaic loud-quiet-loud snoozefest -- you know you're in trouble when the CLEAN singing is the best part.
In a way, too much positive press will turn me against a band. And most bands that people love talking about are the same ones that completely fail to arouse my interest: Amon Amarth, Isis, the Red Chord, Converge, just about any band with three or more words in their name (besides 3 Inches of Blood and Wolves In The Throne Room, I guess) Mastodon, Baroness (that one song was kind of cool), any type of "shoegaze/drone" black metal (I blame Burzum and Darkthrone, PS), about 90% of bands discussed on MetalSucks, 95% of bands discussed on Blabbermouth, and 100% of whatever Sergeant D is listening to these days. The whole Folk/Viking/Pirate metal thing was cute for a minute, now I'm sick of hearing about it. But I digress. I didn't come here to bitch about what's WRONG with metal all day. I actually have some positive stuff to say here too. I swear we'll get to it soon.
I think I've figured out what frustrates me so much about the state of modern "extreme music", and I can sum it up in one sentence. I'll use bold type AND italics to help it sink in:


Everyone remember what happened when Skynet became self-aware? It was bad news. The same thing is happening to metal. It's a tough concept to grasp -- I'm not sure I understand it 100% myself -- but I've found an example that illustrates my point rather succinctly:

We are all familiar with the band Arsis, correct? Well, I've always dug 'em (I'm a sucker for tech-metal), but I've never really had a mental picture of them in my head. Their lyrics have always seemed kind of emo (lots about "guilt" and "sorrow" and "candles" and whatnot), but I've forgiven it due to the insane guitar acrobatics and unconventional song structures. Resultingly, I procured a copy of their 2010 album Starve For The Devil upon its release. Let's take a look at the video for the first track, "Forced To Rock" (why would anyone be "forced" to rock in the first place? Doesn't that imply that one doesn't want to rock?):


I'll tell you what it is: METAL BECOMING SELF-AWARE. This is metal declaring war on its creators. Do you get it yet?

It's not all bad in the world of tech-death metal, though. In the last year I've discovered a couple great bands, among them GOROD from France and OBSCURA from Germany (a country quickly establishing itself as the world tech-death capital). Both of these bands put out excellent albums in 2009 (Process of A New Decline and Cosmogenesis, respectively), and have stayed in pretty heavy rotation around ICHQ lately. If you're into self-indulgent wankery, I recommend checking both of these groups out (I'm not going to upload this stuff because it's still new and you should go buy it). Obscura totally reminds me of an updated version of their fellow countrymen PAVOR -- which is a really good thing. But here's the kicker: Both bands use the Cynic Focus robot/vocoder voice from time to time. What's up with that shit? I always just kind of figured that the Robot Voice was kind of like Cynic's "thing", you know?


Gorod, "The Path". Robot vocals at 2:35.

Obscura, "Choir of Spirits". Robot vocals at 2:50.

Speaking of Obscura, check this shit out (I am especially fond of the Calculus and Chemistry textbooks displayed prominently in the background. Adorable.):

And while we're still (kind of) on the subject of Cynic, am I alone in thinking that their 2008 "comeback" album Traced In Air was, I don't know... Kind of "meh"? I mean, Paul Masvidal seems like a nice guy and everything, but early reports have it that Cynic's next new album is going to be a "re-imagining" of Traced In Air called Re-Traced. Metal nerds are already creaming their jeans on this one, but I've got to call Consumer Fraud here. Anyone remember the Load/Reload debacle? I'm just sayin'...

One more item while we're on the whole tech-death thing: My boys BRAIN DRILL -- the band everyone loves to hate -- have a new album, promisingly titled Quantum Catastrophe (left), due to hit the shelves in exactly one week. It was hard to judge if their new lineup is up to snuff from the one video that I saw, but I've been addicted to their first two albums (2008's Apocalyptic Feasting and 2006's The Parasites) for a solid two years now. Should be interesting...
And when are we going to see a new Deeds of Flesh record? That last one was epic... Or Necrophagist? Their new one was supposed to come out LAST YEAR... Hmmm...

Right: Another ruthlessly fucking br00tal 2009 DM release, Fleshgod Apocalypse's Oracles. Brother Peter uploaded it HERE. I suggest you check it out.

But enough of the super-techy stuff. Let's talk straight up death metal. In fact, I have a prediction I'd like to share with you all: You guys remember that "retro-thrash" thing? Guess what? By mid-summer all those denim vests and white sneakers will be replaced by Asphyx and Demilich T-shirts over sweatpants. That's right --


How do I know? Because Japan is all over it. Ever heard of fucking COFFINS, bro? These guys have proved that there ain't a goddamn thing wrong with sounding like Autopsy in the present day, and if you don't believe me you should head over to The Unflinching Eye and let Brother Aylmer school you some. Once again, by mimicking our past, Japan has predicted our future. And if you have any doubts about that country's SUPERIOR TASTE IN EVERYTHING, I invite you to inspect their obsession with (and mastery of) SLAM METAL. Old school DM is the wave of the past/future, just wait and see...

Left: Sometimes it's OK to judge an album by it's cover.

For my old school death metal dollar, it doesn't get any better than the two-piece VASAELETH, who perform crushing, apocalyptic sludge via INCANTATION. Their 2010 release Crypt Born And Tethered To Ruin (left) has been melting my face repeatedly as of late, and I need to share the sickness. You should really go buy it from Profound Lore HERE and bask in the triumphant misery of your own gory demise. This album is BEYOND awesome.


But the Death Metal Album of the Year (so far) is DEFEATED SANITY's Chapters of Repugnance. By a fucking long shot.
We last checked in with these Bavarian grindfreaks back here, but that album came out in '07 and things have changed significantly since then. Chapters is indeed the "game-changing" album I referred to at the beginning of this post, a horrific bloodbath of a release that sounds like Gorguts and Cannibal Corpse wallowing in a trough of severed limbs. Just when I was starting to wonder where metal could possibly go after all of its wonderful, gory mutations, my question has been answered. There are no words. This album is weird and mystifying in the same way that Lovecraft's protagonists could never describe the unimaginable horrors that confronted them at the end of their stories. Buy it. Crank it. Worship it. Repeat.

(Technically, this album was officially "released" TODAY. But whatever. You have been warned.)

DEFEATED SANITY, "Salacious Affinity". PS The bassist plays a Modulus Quantum 5. Duh.

Death metal chapter = CLOSED.
Doom metal chapter = OPEN.

As you guys might already know, doom just ain't my bag. There's some good stuff out there, but for the most part, it's just dudes playing slow for the sake of playing slow. My attention span just isn't that long. There are, however, two doom albums that have blown my mind in recent months. They are FUNGOID STREAM's Oceanus (I think it's pronounced "Oh, see anus.") and AHAB's The Divinity of Oceans (BUY). We last heard from Fungoid Stream in 2004, the year they released the monumental Celaenus Fragments album (which you can, and SHOULD, get over at FROM THIS SWAMP). I was immediately enchanted both by Fungoid's Lovecraftian leanings and their funeral-doom-meets-John-Carpenter-synth-film-score meanderings, and the mere prospect of a new trickle from The Stream left me giddy with glee. Oceanus delivers. You can download two tracks for free on the official Fungoid Stream website.

Onward to AHAB!
Everyone seemed to lose interest in this German band after the release of their Moby Dick-themed concept album The Call of The Wretched Sea back in 2006 (download that sucker here). And with good reason. The album came out right around the same time as Mastodon's Moby Dick album, and Ahab is only interesting in relation to Mastodon, right?
As I might have mentioned the last time I wrote about Ahab, Wretched Sea is the ONLY White Whale-centric metal album that EVER mattered. Leviathan was a drag. Too bad everyone forgot about this band once the Mastodon controversy passed, because 2009's The Divinity of Oceans (above right) is amazing. Chumps.

So is "Seafaring doom metal" the new "it" genre? Has the market become so specific, so fractured, that I can afford to say "I only like OCEANIC funeral doom metal" and get away with it? Apparently so. Fuck yeah.

... Let's see, what else? I like what Ihsahn has been up to since Emperor bit it (except when he sings all pussy). The Brutal Truth comeback album was totally brutal (it's the truth), although it wasn't the best release of '09. But speaking of killer albums from last year: I've already told you how I feel about Dethklok (Dethalbum II won a Trappy). And Suffocation. But Skeletonwitch's Breathing The Fire was an epic triumph as well. Immortal's All Shall Fall was All-right, but I'm digging the grassroots shredding of bands like PROFESSOR and BLACKHOLICUS more than any type of faux-evil corpsepaintery these days.

Also: I've never been a huge fan of High on Fire, but when did Matt Pike turn into a creepy, botoxed drag queen?

... And speaking of drag queens, you're probably wondering what these lovely ladies are doing in a post about the state of modern metal. Well, I have a surprise for you. Rhapsody of Fire has a new album out (in Europe - it won't be released stateside until June 29th). It's called (ridiculously enough) The Frozen Tears of Angels. It contains lots of narration and over-the-top shredding. And in a career built upon bombast and pomposity, it might be their most bombastic and pompous release to date. I know I'm probably alone in my love for Rhapsody, but mark my words: FROZEN TEARS IS FUCKING AWESOME.
File this one under 'Most Pleasant Surprise of 2010 (so far)'. This album is both a return to form (their last couple albums haven't been great) and a brave adventure into unexplored territory. Yes, our buddy Christopher Lee is back, as are all the elements (in enormous portions) that have made Rhapsody the unstoppable epic-symphonic-shred-power-unicorn-Narration Metal juggernaut that they are. Yeah, I know: you're too "cool" for Rhapsody. But dude, you're seriously missing out. I'm telling you as a friend.

Just as Slough Feg's "White Cousin" was the best song of 2009, I'm starting to think that Rhapsody's "Reign of Terror" might be the track of '010 (probably not, though):

One last thing I want to get off my chest before I bail:

There are very few extreme metal bands that can stay both relevant and brutal for a several decades. Napalm Death is still holding it down, Testament is still keeping it real... Exodus? Well... No. Not you, Exodus. I was hoping against hope that Slayer's new (well, '09) album World Painted Blood would be some sort of return to relevance for them after hearing the "Psychopathy Red" single, but alas, my dreams were quickly crushed. Although "Red" was a pretty rippin' song, rumors about World Painted Blood being the "new Reign In Blood" were quickly proven false. No surprises there -- Slayer hasn't put out a decent record since Seasons In The Abyss. But bear with me here...

You have just borne witness to the (yawn) first (yaaaawn) track off of said album (yaaaaawn). It's all here: Boring, three note "main riff", sucky solo, uncomfortable spoken-word part... Jesus, what a mess. But it gets worse. Check out track 10, "Playing With Dolls" (I will LITERALLY GIVE YOU A MILLION DOLLARS IF YOU MAKE IT THROUGH THE ENTIRE SONG):

My point is this: it has become time for Slayer to throw in the towel. Artistically speaking, these guys sound like exactly what they ARE - 50-year-old dudes chasing after a music genre that is quickly leaving them behind. Slayer sounds like Kerry King looks - Outdated, irrelevant, overwrought, and sloppy. It's embarassing.
Since the rest of the metal world is too polite to say it, allow me: STOP IT, SLAYER. YOU'RE CREEPING US OUT. For fuck's sake, listening to "modern" Slayer is like watching your parents get drunk and dance at a wedding. Yeesh.

Maybe it's blasphemy to call Slayer out like this. But isn't blasphemy what Slayer's all about?

I'd like to thank anyone who made it through this entire post. I meant for it to be a lot shorter, but I get carried away sometimes. Oops. Let me know about your take on the world of modern metal down there in the 'Comments'.


Anonymous said...

I agree, World Painted Blood sucked. Exodus still gets it on though. The only thing I can figure is that Gary Holt hurt you in the past. I'd pay good money to see Cobras actually rock the Kevin DuBrow pants.

Helm said...

Well your instincts are good. Nachtmystium, The Red Chord, most Isis records, Pelican etc etc etc all are pretty bad as metal music (though they work at variable degrees as something else outside the scope of HM). However talking about Obituary/Deicide/Carcass as if they were they good times, well I don't know... I like some records from the Earache era sure, there's real meat there but you should definitely eventually go back and check 1980-1985 it'll reaffirm your HM sensibilities for sure.

Yes, metal is now self-aware and people looking at themselves making art tend to have all their insecurities brought out and they're afraid to go the distance. Being afraid == not metal. Creates boring, 'safe' metal albums your dad would see the point of. Nice, loud production, nice psychedelic cover, safe safe safe.

But just as well, you know? I wouldn't want HM to become less self-aware. What has been learned cannot be unlearned. I'm just interested in the few of the self-aware artists who are unafraid to keep making weird Heavy Metal that serves real desires. It's very few records every year but then... that's how it always is with great art. It's a very small subgroup of the whole of a year's releases.

Roger Camden said...

the trick to many of these modern metal bands isn't in their sound, it's in their focus/approach

it's almost as if new metal is made by an entirely different class of people than in the past

on another note:
Nachtmystium's Instinct: Decay was okay
however, it's not an essential listen
if I'd never heard it, I wouldn't have been denied any USBM innovations/what-have-you

Robert said...

You are not alone in your love of Rhapsody.

New album = awesome!

Manslaughter said...

In order to know about the good bands you have to go see a show. Like, more than one a year. And not one that you are playing. I'm not sayin', I'm just sayin'.

Shelby Cobras said...

I went to two shows in the last year, maybe three. I've gone above and beyond these "requirements" you speak of. Pentagram at the DNA Lounge and Slough Feg at Thee Parkside. I'm caught up on 2010, man. I hear Dream Theater will be here in 2011! Doesn't get any more "modern" than that!

RyGar said...

I worked with a really great kid, who listened to and played in, really shit metal bands. We got along fine, but constantly struggled when trying to hip each other to "great " bands. I would play Deicide, Death, Acheron, Cannibal Corpse, etc. for him, and he would just shrug, and put on Job For A Cowboy. He did introduce me to Bal Saggoth, but not much else. He was a shredding guitar player, and it bummed me out that he was playing in a screamo band. It made me feel like an 'old'. I guess it takes a special kind of person to look back, and appreciate the past. To respect the roots of the music they cherish. Most of the shit I listen to came out when I was in diapers, if not before. Maybe we just appreciate the tried and true. The bands that we know have longevity.

New bands? Mastodon/Job for.../Isis - the stuff I've listened to just doesn't hold my interest. I can't wholly explain why, though. Super clean, Pro Tools production, seems partly to blame. Metal shouldn't sound hygenic. It should sound like it just crawled out of the ground beneath a mass grave. The analogy I always use: Old Death/Heavy Metal is like Kraft Mac and Cheese, in that it is perfect in it's simplicity. But you can give someone the same ingredients, and they'll add a bunch of extra shit, and just ruin it. Sometimes they fuck it up, w/o even adding anything to the mix. And then, it's like, "Dude, how did you fuck up Mac n' Cheese?" You can take the same guitar/bass/drums/vocals/gore/death/blasphemy ingredients and just use them all wrong. I'm not against progress, but I like to give the dust time to settle before I proclaim the new as better.

BradethQ said...

I think that 3IoB and Wolves in the blah blah are borderline "meh modern metal", but whatevs. Totally agree about Nachmystium.
High five for that Vasaeleth disc though! I've been listening to it at work most days since I got it.

Steven said...

Much of yer bellyachin' sounds like my mom talking about how much better rock 'n roll was when she was in high school...

Yer right on the money about Ahab. Outstanding doom. But I really like doom metal, often my favorite branch of the tree...

Slayer, [sigh]. Weak, rubbery guitar tone; dull songs; tired themes... They really haven't made anything exciting since 'Seasons,' and even that pales before the Cyclopean 'South of Heaven.' Time to hit the links, Kerry.

That said, I believe I'm a bit older than most of you. I have no idea what the hipsters are listening to. I initially thought you had fabricated Lady Gaga until I saw something about how Time magazine listed her in their 100 most influential people of the year list. (She must be outside of my demographic.) But I'm constantly curious about new bands. I'm picky as well, but I try not to be a pretentious turd about things. Too many dudes my age never went much past 'Master of Puppets.'

And no offense to Helm, who is obviously one of the sharper axes in the shed, I don't like to intellectualize over my heavy metal. Most bands (Fates Warning and Watchtower aside) from the '85-'90 period he (and I) loves so much, weren't too intellectual. They were honest. And that's all I really care about when you get down to it.

Erik Del Tigre said...

That new Rhapsody song just fucking KILLS. It's got everything.

Helm said...

Steven, I'm not loving the 80-85 period HM because it was intellectual but because it was honest just as you say. For humanist, intellectual metal I go to the 90's. So we're in agreement.

Peter said...

I'm young (23 y.o.) compared to most of you senior citizens but I still agree that a lot of the first generation bands are much better listening than a lot of whats being put out today.
That having been said there are definitely bands today making excellent tunes, and a lot of them are mentioned above (nice work!). Black metal is one genre that I feel still has some interesting and innovative things to share. Probably because of its relatively young age (compared to say thrash) and also because of the willingness within the scene to cross pollinate with other, unlikely genres.
I think artistic promiscuity is exactly what will continue to keep metal alive and fresh for future generations. When genres become to inbred they have retarded babies and eventually die off. It's important to respect your roots and understand them but its also important to move forward.
I know most of you old guys are not into this, but when noise (/power electronics, or whatever else you want to call it) and metal finally have a baby it is going to be fucking awesome.
Those of you in the bay can check out a noise/metal collab on Thursday at a place called The Lab (16th st and Capp). Aesop of Cosmic Hearse/Ludicra, Sean McGrath of Impaled, Ghoul, and Engorged are playing together with a noise duo called Rubber (O) Cement. My nads are really pumped for this. Its happening!

BTW, excellent post Shelby.

Aylmer said...

"hipster ninnies playing watered down, thoroughly mediocre hipster "experi-metal" for hipster beardos to jerk each other off to" - yup!

Manslaughter said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Crankenstien said...

Slayer have been embarrassing for at least 8 years

Anonymous said...

i agree with your comments about slayer. their current material is boring and uninspired and they really need to stop. i don't think they've released a quality record since 1991.

i don't listen to much current metal. i think a lot of it sucks, and i'd rather just listen to the older stuff than something that is influenced by the older stuff. that being said, i will admit to taking a like to the funebrarum album "sleep of morbid dreams". that album ripped. i could get behind the vasaelath album if i could hear the drums more clearly, but then again, that was a main component of early incantation, as well.

i guess i've discovered that i'm really not into 1,000 mph drum beats unless it's napalm death or carcass playing them. other than that, i don't go much faster than celtic frost. bone awl is probably my favorite current metal band, but they're more punk-influenced black metal. their music is catchy as hell and memorable, though, and their live show is incredible.

Christopher said...

Honestly I think metal peaked and then plateaued in the early 90's. At this point there is nothing new under the sun that hasn't already been done better previously. All the retro-thrash, retro-death, hipster stoner, etc, revival bands are the sure sign of the genre's demise. Once musicians start navel-gazing and looking backward instead of forward, the music dies. Look at jazz. It maxed out in the late 60's with free jazz and has stagnated since. Metal has been stuck in the same rut. And it makes sense seeing as how the first metal record is already over 40 years old.

There are still lots of good bands out there playing good stuff but the heyday has passed, nothing will ever be as exciting as those early innovative records.

Shelby Cobras said...

What the hell, Manslaughter? You made some good points, why the deletion?

Actually, everyone here has made good points (well, at least those of you who agree with me 100%), and I thank you for the input.

A couple points:

First off, to Helm - I never meant my offhand comments about preferring Carcass and Obituary over modern stuff to mean that that's the only metal I listen to. If I were to break it down by percentage, my daily metal intake is probably 30% 70's, 30% 80's, 30% 90's, and 10% 00's. I was just making a point, I think by now you probably know that I hold no aversion to the innovation of early 80's metal bands.

Peter: Excellent points, but I've got to call you out: "Black metal is one genre that I feel still has some interesting and innovative things to share. Probably because of its relatively young age (compared to say thrash) and also because of the willingness within the scene to cross pollinate with other, unlikely genres."

... It depends on who you ask, Brother, but last I checked Venom's Black Metal came out in '82! BM's history goes back just as far as thrash, I think the tendency for experimentation comes more from its lack of commercial viability. There are lots of "artists" in the black metal scene, as opposed to the hipsters and sweatpants-bros running the show everywhere else. Then again, you have radio-friendly BM nowadays too. It all goes back to your well-spoken point about genres cross-pollinating until their offspring are retarded.

I don't know. If anything, I'm glad that IC has found a readership with tastes OUTSIDE the usual, watered-down, MetalSucks-sponsored canon of commercial-minded Media Metal bands. It's great that there are still people in the world discerning enough to like stuff that appeals to them, rather than liking what they are told to like. And for that, I applaud you all.

Now if you'll excuse me, I've got to go upload some death metal from 1992 that i will be instructing you all to LIKE later today...

SEANFORD said...

i agree with manslaughter. you really do have to go to shows to find new bands. for instant, amazing bands like Dark Black and Buried Blood (totally unheard of bands) shred intense balls are totally worth everyone’s time, but you have to hang out in small NW bars to find out about these guys. if only someone would take up the cause to expose blog readers to bands like these.

Erik Del Tigre said...

Let's not forget Bay Area Italian Disco Metal. "I was with these guys in the hot tub when they wrote these songs, maaaan!"

Manslaughter said...

Ok, I deleted the last comment I made cuz I don't really get involved in the literal circle jerk that happens when dudes talk metal. All I have to say though, is that it really really depends on the band. I am a purist, and therefore nod towards the originals, but there are genres that don't really inspire me. But they might have one band or even one song from a band that ALMOST changes my mind about the genre OR the band.
What am I trying to say? WHATEVS DUDES. That's what I'm trying to say.

That, and I almost got killed by Rubber(O)Cement once, true story.
Metal Noise is getting bigger, and there are some good projects coming around. Such as Manslaughter. No, not me. My friend Ryan (used to be in Crash Worship) has a santanic metal noise project. Bay area or beyond, check it out. It's the future.

Shelby Cobras said...

If only I'd known before I began writing this cursed article! Those guys should totally book a show with Live Evil (remember them, the Giant Vagina band?). If memory serves, their singer/guitarist was a transplanted Euro too.

Shelby Cobras said...

^^^ Last comment directed at Del Tigre, re: Il Malocchio.

Thanks for re-commenting, Mel. If only to tell us that our petty bickering is below you.

Manslaughter said...

You know what? Fuck it. I'm gonna release the Kraken. "Original". What the fuck does that mean? Why did I say original and not "The Old School"? Because it's all contrived. Bow Chugging. Based on the enthusiastic reactions to bow chugging posts it seems that you dudes agree that classical in some terms is the "original" metal. I fully agree. At the tender age of 12 I asked my guitar teacher how to become the most shredding female guitarist known to man. What did he do? He made me learn classical and jazz guitar, that's what he did. (Also a ten hour a day Steve Vai guitar "workout"-needless to say I didn't have a lot of friends in junior high/high school)
This was further drilled into my head when I studied under Jason Kocol of Impaled. (The most wizardly guitarist I have ever come across-it was an honor, truly). Why? Why classical, why jazz? Metal (depending on the genre) is largely based off of other more primitive forms of music. The reason why bands are sucking these days is because they are taking a contrived sound from an original thought and usually manipulating it in an inappropriate way. Until a new originality is created, it's all going to sound like the same regurgitated shit.
That is about as serious as I get. Thanks for listening. Enjoy your Bukake.

Shelby Cobras said...

Thanks Mel. Without a lady involved, bukkake is just a circle jerk (then again, you've got Brokkake, but that's a different story altogether). Thanks for validating us. I totally get where you're coming from with modern music being too far separated from its roots. Well said. Next up: Dalton's concept album, an electric/orchestral re-interpretation of Grieg's Peer Gynt!

Peter said...

Im a couple days behind here so you may never see this but, you fucking nailed it there Mel.
Taking inspiration from watered down rock bands rather then the source is never going to have good results.
And since I'm already bothering to post here again, Shelby you got my on a technicality but you know what I meant. The Norwegian scene started in the early 90's.

Anonymous said...

High On Fire for LIFE