Sunday, December 20, 2009


(An updated version of The Lord's Prayer for those of us made up from a slightly less wholesome moral fiber.)

Our Slayer, in league with Satan
Hallowed be thy Point.
Thy King be dumb,
Thy Bros Bloodcum,
On Earth, which is South of Heaven.

Give us this day our wailing shred
And kicketh we our friends' asses,
As we destroy those who mosheth against us.
And teach us the riff from "Temptation",
No boundaries have Evil.

For thine is the Kingdom,
Of the Goat, and the Unholy, forever.
Fuckin' Slayer.


Anonymous said...

I just went to a vegan raw food event that was a thinly veiled attempt to celebrate/indoctrinate christianity. I know that the heathenry was blazing in my eyes as I plundered into the feast that was offered. Once they sat down by the fire after dinner to give thanks for a bountiful gastronomic spread, I was near a turret's like loss of verbal impulse control when the discussion turned to an oversimplified dribbling of good and evil, sheep and goats, left and right hand paths. Mark 25:33? seriously? Instead, I just farted quietly (as evil vegans often do) and refrained from making a audible mockery of the event. Oh and just to clarify, dehydrated raw sesame bread is not the embodiment of christ on earth. Its just fucking sesame seeds. I'll be sure to say my slayer prayers tonight. Hail satan!

RyGar said...


Carve it in my fucking skin! Oh, what, somebody already did that?!? FUCK!!!!!!


Viagra said...

Nice adaptation. Kind of vile and gory, but i like the "Teach us the riff from Temptation" tough.. that brought a smile to my face.