Tuesday, December 22, 2009

8-BIT NINTENDO'S GREATEST HITS, PART 2


Back in September, I published a groundbreaking post documenting what I found to be some of the finest moments in the history of the original 8-bit Nintendo Entertainment System. We laughed. We cried. We hurled our controllers at the screen in frustration. It was a magical time indeed. A time when pixels were as big as your fingernail and all of life's problems could be solved by blowing in the bottom of a game cartridge.
Today, we return to those magical times again, with a dozen or so further excursions into the sordid history of the NES. The NES was a jealous lover. She was a cruel mistress. But she was beautiful, dammit. And we ALL loved her.

Let's begin with a disturbing Australian Nintendo television advertisement:



OK great. Moving on...


I have ONE QUESTION for you: How was the Star Wars NES game NOT the most popular game ever?



Or the Empire Strikes Back game, for that matter?

(Check out this guy's comments at the beginning - priceless.)



Anyone else remember the Contra sequel, Super C?



Fuck I used to love this game (the "3D" wasn't as cool as advertised, though):



Similarly...

"IN THE YEAR 2112 THE EARTH HAS BEEN INVADED BY EVIL FORCES...

YOU ARE 'MACH RIDER'!!!"



Speaking of post-apocalyptic road games, the fact that Mad Max ever went 8-bit had completely slipped my memory until today (thanks, YouTube).



Another forgotten treasure, Zen - Intergalactic Ninja (is it just me, or is Lord Contaminous throwing up devil horns in the intro part?):



Why was it that EVERY GAME based on a Schwarzenegger film turned out COMPLETELY FUCKING LAME? I never understood it...

Total Recall:



Predator:



Terminator:



Goonies was pretty cool, though...



...IF YOU WERE A GIRL!!!


Talk about a SHITTY ending to a SHITTY game:

(I like how you had "children" instead of "men", though.)



As a kid, I figured out the Spy Hunter "trick" (below), but I could never figure out how to advance through the game. I could get to the "boat" stage, but heard strange rumors of everything from helicopter stages to jet stages to tank stages. I'm still half convinced that Spy Hunter was an unbeatable game.
Fuck you, Spy Hunter.



You want to talk quality NES games? Let's talk T&C Surf Design, starring The Guy In The Tiki Mask on A Skateboard and The Cat In The Tuxedo on A Surfboard. Oh, the hours I wasted playing this game...



EPIC.

3 comments:

TMM said...

Spyhunter definitely was a bitch....

The hands down best Nintendo games were Castlevania 2 and 3.

Go to youtube and look up Castlevania 2 Simons Quest,,,,just to hear the music.....unforgettably awesome and epic

amoni said...

I live in Hawaii. I thought my brother and I were the only ones that played the T&C surf/skate game. I had the Thrilla Gorilla shirt.

Anonymous said...

T&C FUCK YES