Saturday, December 12, 2009
We've all Google searched the word "dinosauroid", correct?
Of course we have. But just to recap, your first results will appear as something like what is shown above -- a bunch of conceptual human/dinosaur hybrid art and museum pieces that bear a striking resemblance to the Sleestaks from Land of the Lost and a Wikipedia page for a "list of reptilian humanoids" that links to UFOlogy, cryptozoology, conspiracy theories, and kitten-eating. Not a bad start.
But this is just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to dinosauroids and their close cousins, the "reptoids".
Technically, the term "dinosauroid" was coined by paleontologist Dale Russell (left) in the early/mid 80's, in a "thought experiment" asking what would have happened if dinosaurs had never gone extinct and continued evolving up until the present. And while the visuals that accompany Russell's theory are pretty fucking cool and also led to the aforementioned museum displays, they are also scientifically dubious at best. The whole dinosauroid theory is pretty much based on the idea that humans are the apex of evolutionary perfection, hence the evolved raptor's (Russell's dinosaurid was based on a troodon) humanoid appearance. Indeed, dinosauroids are not tremendously popular in the scientific/paleontologist community. But of course, the fact that 99% of scientists have thoroughly debunked this whole evolved humanoid/reptilian raptor theory hasn't stopped me from believing in it 100%.
This creeps me out:
So now, to go off on a complete tangent, I'd like to direct your attention to a post on dinosauroids from my new FAVORITE BLOG EVER, Tetrapod Zoology (see link in the 'Good Stuff' section). Tet Zoo is written by a brilliant British science nerd named Darren Naish, and I've been spending WAY too much time over there lately. In Mr. Naish's dinosauroid post, he points out two other dinosauroid-esque ideas in addition to those of Mr. Russell, which are as follows:
First, he calls attention to another "hypothetical, big-brained, sentient theropod" proposed by author/illustrator John McLoughlin, creator of the speculative dinosaur tomes Archosauria: A New Look at the Old Dinosaur in 1979 and Synapsida: A New Look into the Origin of Mammals in 1980. McLoughlin's proposed future-saur is shown above (its name is Naish's creation), and while its appearance is quite a bit more feasible than Russell's overly-humanoid creature, its greater accomplishment is that it has mastered nuclear technology, and carries a nuke-fueled staff/weapon to hunt and defend itself. Nice work, Bioparaptor macloughlini.
Secondly, Naish calls attention to another, far more obscure book and writer -- Mike Magee and his paranoid 1993 psuedoscience rant Who Lies Sleeping?
In it, Magee suggests that perhaps dinosaurs DID, in fact, evolve to near-human levels of intelligence, and wiped themselves out in an as-yet-undiscovered instance of nuclear war. Magee's brainy dinosaurs ("anthroposaurs") have all kinds of crazy shit going on, with the theropods farming the herbivores (triceratops and the like) for meat, and producing epic amounts of industrial waste. In addition, he hints that the anthroposaurs had some sort of telepathic connection with H.P. Lovecraft which resulted in his creation of the Old Ones, Ancient Ones, Ry'leh, Necronomicon, etc. Also, there are some aquatic apes involved.
Long story short, this book sounds amazing but is impossible to find. Shiny nickels for anyone with any sort of information on where I can get a copy.
Onward to the reptoids:
No quest for research on dinosauroids isn't going to bump into the Reptoid Conspiracy at some point. Let's put it this way: Certain folks are pretty goddamn sure that shapeshifting reptilian space aliens are among us, disguised as humans and controlling our thoughts through both media and government manipulation. I'm sure you'd like to see some proof at this point. Here you go. Here you go. Here you go. Here you go. Barack Obama is a reptoid too? Okay.
You're going to be hearing quite a bit more about reptoids here on I.C. in the near future. In fact, I've added it as a "tag" as well. Speaking of reptoids and dinosauroids, has anyone else seen that terrible Sci-Fi Channel movie Anonymous Rex, or is it just me? It was based on the book Casual Rex, and serves as sort of a crossover between reptoid and dinosauroid mythology. Still wouldn't recommend it, though.
The truth about Reptilians and the New World Order (turn off the volume unless you like System of A Down):
A similar take on the situation, courtesy of vlogger "4DaBigTime":
And yes, Cretaceous is currently writing a song about dinosauroids. Thanks for asking.
Posted by Shelby Cobras at 8:36 PM