Thursday, September 30, 2010

Speaking of Manowar....

There has been a lot of talk about Manowar around these here parts for quite some
time, but I have to come forth and admit that I refuse to toe the party line where they're concerned.

I just DON'T get it. I never have, and I'm guessing I never will.

I know that makes me a Metal heretic, and probably marks me out as a wimp and a poseur who should probably leave the hall, but, well, fuck it. I just find them ridiculous.

I mean, for a START, they look STUPID. They claim to be the loudest, fastest and heaviest metal band on the planet but, well, I guess they never heard of Motorhead, Vader or Burning Witch, to name THREE bands that outclass them in all of those categories. As for their lyrics......well....'nuf sed.

Finding out that they weren't actually SUPPOSED to be a parody was like the day I found out from my teacher that people actually BELIEVED all of the stories in the Bible were, like, REAL.
I was confused, then amazed, then actually felt a little sorry for all of the schmucks out there who bought into it - in the case of Manowar, most of mainland Europe, and in the case of the Bible, well, you guys in the U.S of A.

So, when i came across a band called NanowaR (Of Steel), well, I felt COMPELLED to tell you good people about 'em.

I hope you're sitting down...

...yes. NanowaR (Of Steel). An Italian parody of Manowar with a gay agenda and a tenuous grasp of the english language.

I genuinely cannot tell the difference between the parody and the original source material, other than that the parodic lyrics are INTENTIONALLY lousy. Sorry kids.

Why not download a copy of their new record 'Into Gay Pride Ride' here?

If you feel compelled to dig further, their website is here and their MySpace is here...heck, you can even find 'em on Facebook!

For all I know, the gay agenda may ALSO be a double-bluff, I mean, you never can tell with these Europeans.

Anyhow, I guess I'd better leave the hall, I hear the sound of angry Euro-metallers with pitchforks at the castle gates...


Shelby Cobras said...

I had heard of Nanowar (of Steel) before, but never really pursued information about them. Manowar parody is like ICP parody, even if you do it reeeeaaaally good the original source material is still funnier. Just sayin'.


The Thing That Should Not Be said...

I just had a bunch of friends bangin' on at me about Manowar and I DON'T get it. I really think they mean it maaaaaaan, and THAT just pisses me off.

Why waste time and money on something that you think is a joke? Unless you think it ISN'T, in which case you're a fuckin' RETARD. Hahahaha.

No sir, t'aint for me.

I think, at the end of the day, I just don't really have a sense of humour about MUSIC.
Other than Weird Al, Flight Of The Conchords and some Tenacious D, I'm stretching to think of a musical 'comedy' band that I find purposefully FUNNY.

Shelby Cobras said...

Lonely Island FTW.

I hear what you're saying, but for me the ridiculous bombast and musclebound barbarian pose-striking is just icing on the cake. I mean, I dig Manowar's music (up to Triumph of Steel, at least) but the silliness of it all really appeals to me. Speaking on a larger scale, the unspeakable silliness of it all figures into my love for ALL heavy metal. Ever heard of Cannibal Corpse? The bottom line is that I don't think the phrase "this rocks" and the phrase "this is funny" NEED to be mutually exclusive. Sure, "ironic" appreciation of any musical genre borders on chin-stroking hipsterism, but my love for this genre of music is deep and abiding, ridiculous barbarian imagery and all. Manowar has exposed your pose, sir, but I forgive you on the genetic basis of your wretched British ancestry.

The Thing That Should Not Be said...

Hey buddy, we INVENTED Heavy Metal - The Nuge be DAMNED. Hehehehe.

What it is, for me, is that Manowar manage to successfully encapsulate and embody EVERY DAMN THING I always disliked about metal.

Never liked Maiden, never liked Venom, can't listen to anything by Sabbath after Dio left...hell, even DIO is a stretch for me to dig!
I never had a 'Hair Metal' phase, I started with ZZ Top and a little Dio (chuckle), heard Death and then went from THERE. Oh, and Cannibal Corpse - not my favourite DM band. I can't abide 'Gore Metal' either.

I just really dig on the WEIRDOS in metal - fuckin' John Cyriis wailing about Atlantis, Snake telling me 'Go Shit, I'm not a FIIISH!', fuckin' Jason McMaster shriekin' 'Unite With The Asylum'. Even King Diamond is too much of a fucking CHEESE-LORD to get me going.

I suppose I'm a weirdo looking for weirdo music.
To paraphrase Chuck D - 'Conan was a hero to most, but he never meant shit to me'

stonerphonic said...

not kiiding... I'm still waitng for an update on the Manowar-meets-Barry Manilow project Barry Manowar...

Shelby Cobras said...


(ps Barry Manowar was fucking awesome at the Man-O-Fest last year, although the only Manilow element present was in the name alone. Barry Manowar is actually The Fleshies. Double ruleage.)