Wednesday, September 15, 2010



I'M BACK. AND I'M BLACK! Comin' straight from the underground, cuz that's where I roll fool. I'm like you're pesky pest showing up in dark corners with beady Patrick Swayze eyes feasting on pure mess. It's round two of M.S. on B.A. There's too much good shit to fit into one post, we're gonna have to spread this love around like Nutella on french toast-bitch!

Did you like my freestyle?
So check it, I forgot some bands (dude, yeah yeah-"you smoke too much weed" GET OFF MY BACK DUDE DANG!) and finally got my hands on some killer tunes to present ya'll with a first-hand look at some fine ass metal.

How the fuck did I pass these guys up the first time anyways? Shane from Night After Night, Jake from Hightower, and some other stony dudes. Here's there Demo from 2009, it kicks dick. At some points it reminds me of PDX post punkers THE WIPERS, although heavier. Nice catchy repetitive riffage. Shane sings and plays bass in this band, and he rules at it. My favorite song is "Empire", the second song on the demo. I feel like I'm conquering the world every time I hear it. It's like riding your bike down Golden Gate St (shelbs you know what I'm talking about) early in the morning as the sun rises over SF, making it glimmer like a golden landscape of potholes and crackheads; flipping off yuppies on their way to their stupid office job in their Prius. That's what it's like.



So with all the talk about Hazzard's Cure we should really mention Clint and Leo's old band HOTBLACK DESIATO. Who were they? Oh, just one of the best stoner metal bands in the Bay Area EVER! (Did anyone else go to Sleep last night? FUUUUCCKKK) My good bro and awesome artist Bryce was also in that band, and has now moved on to forming this outfit of brutality. Interesting name, huh? I wonder what language it is. If you guess the meaning of the name or it's origin I'll give you some candy. Or not.

(Hotblack Sushiato)

In fact, they are recording at Earhammer Studios as we speak, which really stokes me out because those dudes produce some of the most heavy, bass driven, bowel cleansing metal. Ever. Period. But BADR VOGU recorded a couple demo songs, which Bryce was awesome enough to upload and send me for this post. Do you hear that people? You are hearing shit here that NO ONE has ever heard before EVER. I think you owe me dinner after this one. Seriously.

(The Brothers Wizzard)

Speaking of Clint (dude, we're all up on your jock these days, you like that?) Cobras mentioned a band that Clint and his brothers are in together called OWL. The first time I saw Owl was at a bbq in Oakland. The air in the living room smelled like 8 year old boy sweat and brick weed. I thought: oh shit. This is awesome. Of course, there was Clint, where he usually should be, behind his drums. But there were these two other dudes. "His brothers!!", Shane screamed in my ear as a guitar started wailing some crazy ass heavy metal leads and I turned my head to see a little guy with long hair and the biggest smile on his face. Of course, by now I was shrouded and clouded; standing amazed at what was going on before me.

(This is typical stance on top his Marshall-let's call it..."Pensive Wizzard")

Ok, hopefully I have this straight. One lil bro is 26, the other is 16. And they are both SHREDDERS. Axell- 16 years old, is obsessed with DIO and dragons, and that's not all. He was shredding so hard he climbed up on top of his Marshall stack and rocked like a fucking pro. He has a record label called Magick Hermit, where you can buy these tapes (and I totally think you should) that he has been so kind as to upload and share with us. Axell was also in this other guitar duo project called Sonic Tower (formerly known as Darck Sabbath) which is a gem of a most-likely bedroom recording he has with his friend Darien (son of Ron Emory of T.S.O.L., no shit). Um, he is also in Molloko Vellocet, Stone Elk, Blind Pig, Yawi and Myth Machine... "fuck, he's busier than me!" - Clint (nice 5 minute drum solo btw-not many bands can get away with that)

Here is where you can converse with this awesome dude and get their tapes. This band gives me hope for our future.




Alex, 26- is seriously the young, whiter Tommy Chong. Big glasses and a bandana, like all the time. He may be a little more subdued, but he will surprise you. His licks are clean, his chugs are a'plenty, and his technique is up the wing wang-OFF THE HOOK! He is currently recording an instrumental album. Dude-send it in!

Um, so yeah, you guys need a bassist right? I'm in your band, buddy! They too, are recording and here are 5 twin-lead heavy fucking wizard songs for you.

As soon as I downloaded and starting headbanging along to these tapes today I dropped everything to finish this. I just want you to know. It's important.

I just want to give a special thanks to Bryce, Clint and Axell for providing most righteous tunage to pump your nads to. THANKS.


Shelby Cobras said...

Don't blog drunk, kids.

Manslaughter said...

I know you find it hard to believe, but I wrote this stone cold sober.

Clint B said...

Aw thank YOU Mel! That's awesome.

Shelby Cobras said...


PS I'm gonna start a band called ORC, and then I'm gonna book a show with OWL, OAK, and ELK.

Anonymous said...

hotblack desiato was a character in one of the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy books, right?

abdul alhazred said...

Cobras, don't forget OAF!

Pleased to check out these tapes and rescue my beer from the freezer, oh yes.

Palantir said...

Thanks Mellanie! this is ferociously,delectably badass... and you can NEVER smoke too much weed...