First off, apologies for my own inexcusable absence lo these past few days, Real Life has once again reared its ugly head and managed to keep me from the digital world for the most part, a fact which may or may not be construed as a "good thing". Hm.
Second: HOLY FUCK, SLAUTER XSTROYES RULES! Do people know about this Chicago-based prog-metal juggernaut already? Because I didn't until recently, and I'm not really sure how they stayed under my radar for so long. Is it just me?
This band is kind of like a chaotic clusterfuck involving Mercyful Fate, Slough Feg, Brocas Helm, and maybe even a touch of primordial Confessor--an over-the-top, histrionic, and pleasingly angular adventure in the outer fringes of Wizard Metal. The band themselves pressed 500 copies of Winter Kill, their debut masterpiece, all the way back in 1985, keeping largely silent until the release of their next full length in 1998. The black metal forest trolls can talk "kvlt kred" 'til they're blue in their little corpsepainted faces, but the truth is that Xstroyes has outculted everyone, ever, for all time.
This record has it all: Weird changes, backwards-masked spoken interludes, corny vocal effects, flappy, too-loud bass riffs, a synth intro that sounds exactly like the "THX thing" (pre-THX, mind you), lyrics about mountains and winter and chicks and magic and shit, and a song titled "Mother, Mother Fucker".
I dunno, maybe everyone else has this already. But if you don't, FUCK. GET ON IT.
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Speaking of awesome rock, WOMANOWAR (featuring myself, Manslaughter, and Cory) make their triumphant, long-awaited return at Winter's Tavern in Pacifica (???) this Saturday. So, you know. Go to that.
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One of the best Heavy Metal records of all time for sure. But the second album is just as good!
I HAVEN'T TRACKED IT DOWN JUST YET. AFRAID IT WILL TARNISH THE PRISTINE IMAGE IN MY HEAD OF THIS MAGICAL BAND. SORRY BOUT THE ALL CAPS, I JUST KNOW I NEED TO SHOUT FOR YOU TO HEAR ME.
HEY! QUIT STEALING MY SCHTICK COBRAS!!
I FOUND SOME RANDOM DEMO/7" ETC TRACKS BY 'EM HERE ALSO.
AND 'FREE THE BEAST'HERE
capital letter lols abound.
when you go to pacifica, make sure to grab an ice cream cone at the rite aid where i lost my virginity.
whatever you do, do not accept a baloon of nitrous if a burly biker in the back of winter's tavern offers. trust me.
I'm still waitng for an update on the Manowar-meets-Barry Manilow project Barry Manowar...
Slauter Xstroyes are pretty much what would happen if Heavy Metal formed a band. From the love songs about guitars to the vocalist's seeming determination not to stick to one form of singing for any extended period of time in 'Metal's No Sin', which somehow works perfectly (Power! Murder! Molten Metal!), these guys are probably far more 'metal' as such than most other bands that write straightforward songs about killing posers and heavy metal pride or whatever. Likewise, Manilla Road's 'Metal' is probably a far stronger 'metal anthem' than anything Manowar, for example, wrote, despite not even being very metallic for most of its duration.
When it comes to Winter Kill, I also love how they throw the fairly conventional ballad 'No Idea' in the middle, and just more or less play it straight. 'Weird? Us? What are you on about?'
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