Friday, January 7, 2011

Declan Mulholland=Jabba the Hutt

So I was watching Time Bandits a few weeks ago and I saw something pretty strange that for "real Star Wars nerds" I'm sure was common knowledge. The totally shit on and dicked over actor Declan Mulholland, who played the original Jabba got scrubbed out by some CGI garbage and encased in the most hated image (or at least poked fun at) in film history.The cartoonish mass of uselessness now as the re-tooled Star Wars episode IV. He played the Third robber in Time Bandits and it seems that half of the cast of TB were employed by Lucas later on. Star Wars is like money in the bank for anyone related to it, any bit actor that was in it for two seconds can make a buck selling autographs, which is rad for some. But shitty when Lucas decides to pull the plug on your cashflow, which happened to Peter Mayhew. Just go to the recent Chiller Conventions in New Jersey and you'll see washed up people who starred in Fulci films(Thanks internet for helping us gore nerds out). So I'm wondering what was so special about Declan Mulholland that he was picked to play such a crucial and heavy role? Lucas is fond of bitching about how he never had enough money to finish what he envisioned and had to rely on Popsicle sticks and elmers glue and some crepe hair before he had an Avid. I mean what's his fucking problem? he raped all our childhoods, what else does he want? I think if he used the guy from Time Bandits with the furry coat and the fat irish head it would've been a totally different Jedi. Maybe there would have been a scene with him drinking a secret formula that turned him into an even fatter and gelatinous lizard like creature, the one we know and love. The one parodied as the mighty Pizza The Hutt! I can't say that episode IV would have been a better film if he had left the original scene intact, but to have such whiny regrets about everything you ever commited to film is just bullshit! What might have worked better is if he took the actor who played Jek Porkins and made him the new Jabba (Watch Hardware and tell me he would've been the worse villian in any movie).

(Porkins a better Jabba?)

For more info on the subject.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

this is probably the dumbest post I've ever read on the internet