Thursday, January 15, 2009

BREAKING NEWS: NEGLIGENT PILOT LEAVES AT LEAST 2 GEESE DEAD IN NYC AIR MASSACRE



New York, NY - A possibly inebriated US Airways pilot careened into a flock of innocent geese earlier today, killing at least 2, injuring several others, and doing tens of thousands of dollars worth of damage to his aircraft. The geese, who were out for brisk morning's flight above The Big Apple, were reportedly astonished to find the aircraft bearing down on them, on a collision course with their peaceful excursion. Two of their party were sucked into the jet's turbine engines, immediately killed by the spinning blades. The geeses' identities have not yet been released.
Officials have not yet revealed if charges will be filed against the pilot, who safely landed the craft in the Hudson River after the massacre. Goose spokesmen have not yet released a statement.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

this would be mildly amusing if the story you are satirizing weren't totally awesome.

This is almost as offensive as that time you offered my $500 to bone your girlfriend, I was like "sheeeeiiiit, I need at least 1k to hit that" and you were like "I don't have that much money right now" and I was like "so go get some" and you were like "i can get any" and I was like "that's what SHE said"

Shelby Cobras said...

hi charles

Cory said...

lol

jerilouise said...

how do I use this thing?

jerilouise said...

I just wanted to agree with Cory.