THE COUNTRY EQUIVALENT OF SCREAMO CRUNK

In a semi-recent post about the history of Rap/Metal, I mentioned a hideous new offshoot of the genre, a mutant bastard child called Screamo Crunk (for an excellent Metal Inquisition article on the Screamo Crunk phenomena, click here). This strange hybrid combines the absolute worst of both genres (namely Southern booty rap and metalcore), to form a sound so revolting and contrived it boggles the mind.

All of which, I'm sure, caused many readers to wonder aloud: "OK, great. But what's the COUNTRY version of Screamo Crunk?"
Well, I'm glad you asked, because the answer came to me in the form of "Cali-country" band Coldwater Canyon (above), a Los-Angeles based hip-hop/redneck fusion group promoting their new dance hit "Country Girls". If you are at all confused by the last sentence, consult the video below for clarification:



The bummer part of the story is that Steve Dog and Manslaughter (singer and bassist for Dalton, respectively) are friends with a guy named Hot Dog who plays banjo on this recording, meaning that we're probably doomed to tour with these guys at some point. And I've already had "Country Girls" stuck in my head for, like, 12 hours. So there's that.
If you're baffled by the improbable concept of a country/dance music mashup band, I must at this point remind you of the manufactured Swedish group Rednex, who reached #25 on the Billboard charts in 1995 with their party anthem "Cotton Eye Joe". Though they never followed up with another hit in the U.S., they still enjoy modest popularity in Europe (especially Germany) to this day. I couldn't find the original video for "Cotton Eye Joe", but here's a 2002 "remake" video they did, just as a refresher:



So yeah. Country-rap. Wow.