Thursday, August 20, 2009


Jesus Hell the last two weeks have been hairy. Between malfunctioning electronics, a long and involved house-hunt in the mean streets of San Francisco, and the bane of my existence, a hoity-toity car show and logistical nightmare known as the Concours d'Elegance, both myself and this blog are shells of their former selves. Don't believe me? Check out the two pictures below. The first photo (at left) shows me about a month ago -- Young, healthy, and full of vigor. Now check out the photo of me on the right, which was taken earlier today. DAMN. Life has really taken its toll.

But fear not. The car show is over, the laptop has gone in for repairs (more delicious uploads coming soon...), and best of all, Sweet Baby Jay and myself have procured an awesome new dwelling which is both centrally located and affordably priced. Life is once again re-assuming a modicum of normalcy.

Luckily, the Illogical Team is always hard at work, and even though I haven't had the time to research esoteric subjects or publish prolonged rants about the folly of today's youth, the Bros have been slaving away, scouring the internet for stray chunks of entertaining/disturbing detritus. Two such chunks are shown below.

The first arrives courtesy of Mr. Erik Del Tigre, my esteemed colleague and designated Illogical Contraption Weapons Specialist. Our devotion to all things Swayze is no secret around these parts, and Erik has gone to the trouble of sifting out this sad tribute(?) to the man himself. Remember when Swayze did that song "She's Like The Wind" back in 1987? Well, it appears that the female rapper "Lumidee" does too, and has decided to "re-imagine" it as an R&B/hip-hop joint. Apparently, this song is pretty popular right now.
I'm not surprised.

Thanks Erik.

Secondly, The Heckler (Illogical Contraption Media Assassin and explainer of all things unfathomable and computer-related) forwarded this amazing clip to me, depicting an old G.I. Joe episode focusing on punk-metal crossover dudes the Dreadnoks. In it, the Dreadnoks have formed a band, and are controlling the population through mind-control messages programmed into their music. The song - and the episode itself - are called "Cold Slither".

Pretty rad, but I always imagined that if the Dreadnoks had formed a band it would've sounded more like Crass and less like Oingo Boingo. But whatever.


1. Dalton is performing this Saturday at Stagewerx in SF, at a benefit/cast party for the new Zombie! musical. This stage production promises to be EPIC, with lots of blood, gore, Ozzy, and a supporting role for Dalton vocalist Steve Dog. If you're in the Bay Area, be sure to go check it out. It's playing for the next two months, but tickets are selling out quickly. For showtimes and ticket availability, do this.

2. I received an email from an Illogical reader in Iran today, who read my write-up on the black metal documentary Until The Light Takes Us and is desperate to procure his own copy. While I'm pretty sure that it hasn't been released on DVD yet, Iran has nonetheless banned DVD and CD imports altogether. So I'd like to just put out the request to the entire Contrap-Nation: There is an Iranian Illogical Bro in need. If anyone can find a torrent and/or Rapidshare/Megaupload/Mediafire/whatever link to download this movie when it does come out, please let me know via 'Comments' section or email message to Even though the movie was lame, let's try to help a brother out.

3. I just purchased tickets for a midnight showing of the timeless 1988 masterpiece Elvira, Mistress of the Dark at the Bridge Theater tomorrow night. Awesome enough, but get a load of this: ELVIRA WILL BE THERE LIVE, IN THE FLESH. Elvira has been a personal idol (and a childhood crush) of Sweet Baby Jay's FOREVER, and the chance to meet her in person is sort of a culmination of all of our combined hopes and dreams. Tomorrow night is gonna RULE.

I think I'm gonna ask her to sign my tits. I'll let you guys know how it turns out.

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