Thursday, August 6, 2009

HOLLYWOOD BLOWS IT AGAIN


Some of you may have been around long enough to remember a post I wrote a few months back, pitching the idea of a movie based on this blog ("Illogical Contraption: The Movie", Feb 6th, 2009). If not, go check it out. It's brilliant, and WAS a totally revolutionary idea. Chock full of sci-fi action, intrigue, lazers, and swashbuckling thrills, the treatment was an open invitation to Hollywood, inviting them to partake in the spoils of a sure-fire blockbuster destined to win the hearts and imaginations of millions.

Well, Hollywood balked at the idea, and now romantic-comedy megaproducer Nora Ephron (left), who is responsible for such films as When Harry Met Sally, You've Got Mail, and Sleepless In Seattle, has debuted HER vision of a film based on a blog, the upcoming snooze-fest Julie & Julia.
Based on "The Julie/Julia Project", a boring blog about some lame chick's boring life, Julie & Julia tells the story of this chick Julie, who "finds herself" by cooking food from Julia Childs' cookbook, making one dish a day for a year and then blogging about it. Sounds AWESOME, right?
I'm fully convinced that Ephron caught wind of my idea, adapted it for an audience of middle-aged soccer moms, and took full credit for it. The "movie-based-on-a-blog" idea was MINE, you smug bitch, but I'm not going to make a fuss about it. You can have this one, Nora. We'll meet again. Oh yes, we WILL meet again.
So long story short, Hollywood fucking blew it again. Julie & Julia is bursting at the seams with FAIL, and I fully expect it to put the final nail in the coffin of Ephron's moribund career. In fact, if this movie beats the box office gross of Paul Blart: Mall Cop, I'll eat my own shoes. That's a promise.

Fuck you, Hollywood. And fuck you, Nora Ephron.
Someday, someone's gonna take you BOTH down a peg. And on that day, Illogical Contraption will be there. Laughing.






>$$$

3 comments:

Erik Del Tigre said...

Paul Blart: Mall Cop earned a domestic box office gross of $146,336,178 (source: Box Office Mojo). This makes it the 12th highest grossing movie of 2009 to date. You better believe I'll be paying attention to Julie & Julia.

Shelby Cobras said...

You'll probably go see it in the theater, if I know you. And I DO know you.

RyGar said...

Oh, dag. I hope you wear small shoes, or have a big appetite.