Illogical Contraption: GUITARS ARE STUPID.

Monday, May 30, 2011

GUITARS ARE STUPID.

SO stupid.

17 comments:

Ambassador MAGMA said...: Fuck, it NEVER ENDS! Jesus, Cobras, it's like some end-of-Clockwork Orange-can't-close-your-eyes evil, this post. Totally seen that tool on the subway sittin' around... and that full size girl one creeps me the fuck out times a thousand.

On a positive note - FUN FACT: Over half of these were at one time owned by GWAR.; May 30, 2011 at 6:17 PM
Anonymous said...: Amazing post. Amazing.; May 30, 2011 at 6:52 PM
Anonymous said...: Shit, there goes 10 minutes of my life I'll never get back... Where in hell's tarnation did you find all these pictures? It would be interesting to see if half of these guitars actually functional or not.; May 30, 2011 at 9:57 PM
Shelby Cobras said...: This was literally less than a half hour's work. So many stupid guitars on the internet... So, so many....; May 30, 2011 at 10:31 PM
Jason said...: Wow. What a waste of a sweet Milennium Falcon.; May 30, 2011 at 10:50 PM
stargraves said...: The falcon one was stunning in so many ways. I haev BC Rich's - Ironbird and Warlock - they are as extreme as anyone I think should go - I see them as the antidote to the dullness of the look of telecasters and SGs - but FFS - these are just imbecilic examples of what happens when brains go wrong.; May 31, 2011 at 1:06 AM
Helm said...: Thank you for the post. I appreciated it a lot and so did several guitar nerd friends.

I specially liked bender.; May 31, 2011 at 4:04 AM
The Thing That Should Not Be said...: ESP did a guitar shaped like a facehugger from Alien, back in the early nineties, I think. I've been unable to find a picture of it, but i remember seeing a photo of it in Kerrang or Raw magazine way back when. The body was covered in latex and when you played it, the 'legs' wriggled around. The neck was the proboscis/trunk thing. It was fucking hideous but amusing. Weird that I can't find ANY pics of it online though.; May 31, 2011 at 4:57 AM
5h33p said...: Speaking of Alien, Giger designed a guitar series for Ibanez, which actuallly look pretty badass.
http://www.hrgiger.com/ibanez.htm; May 31, 2011 at 5:20 AM
Fisted sister said...: id so play the dr. Weird guitar. The rest are pretty gawdy and terrible; May 31, 2011 at 8:56 AM
ReallyGood@Wounding said...: Now for sale on HSN, the Rick Nielsen collection!
>rimshot<; May 31, 2011 at 1:27 PM
Andrei Gorchakov said...: Best post ever.; May 31, 2011 at 3:05 PM
cdg said...: good god, it just goes on and on and on...; May 31, 2011 at 7:36 PM
Camellia sinensis said...: Weapons of mass stupidity. I couldn't stop looking though.Guess that makes me a purveyor of mass stupidity.; June 1, 2011 at 1:30 PM
Eledhrel said...: please tell me why you have ATLAS on the top of the page :); June 1, 2011 at 3:27 PM
Shelby Cobras said...: ATLAS IS THE DOOMBRINGER; June 1, 2011 at 4:32 PM
Isaac said...: Having a really, really flashy guitar and playing the blues is just wrong on so many levels.

However, I don't even give a fuck; I would totally play that really intricately carved double-neck one.

The Betty Boop one nearly made me vomit. As did the pedophilotar.

I must say, though, that if someone like, say, John Gelso was to use the Justin Bieber guitar, I would think that to be pretty funny.; June 6, 2011 at 10:20 PM

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