Friday, September 25, 2009

ROB CRANNY IS OFFICIALLY MY NEW HERO

It's fairly obvious that making fun of black metal is too easy, too played out, too rampant, and too stupid to be funny anymore. In fact, I think it's safe to say that "making fun of people making fun of black metal" is the new "making fun of black metal", much like "making fun of black metal" replaced "shooting fish in a barrel" as the new "easy". But there is a group of kids way out in the frozen wastes of Canada who are still doing a pretty good job at it, blurring the line between parody and reality, real and fake, kvlt and Juggalo in a pretty convincing manner.

I direct your attention to the photo shown below:


This one has been around for awhile, and has been made fun of here on I.C. as well as over at MetalSucks and about a billion other places. But up until now, this image has been nothing but an unexplained snapshot, a piece of trivial silliness widely poked fun at on the interweb but never fully explained. Until now.



The video above was featured in this post on MetalSucks the other day, and it's pretty self-evident that this is the same band from the photo, finally making their appearance in the video realm. There was some confusion as to whether this video was a joke or not, which is always the sign of good parody. It turns out the "band" is called Detsorgsekalf, they are indeed a joke band, and you can check out their Myspace page here.
Yes, the "black metal" thing is played out. But no one has told Detsorgsekalf, and hopefully no one will. I think they're fucking great, and judging by the relatively small amount of hits on their page (just over 20,000), they are still pretty obscure (par for the course, if you're kvlt).
The best thing about the video (of course) is the "pleasantly plump" fellow rocking out and being evil, a guy whose name (I gleaned through a little research) is Rob Cranny aka "Rab". Despite being visually striking, Rob also seems like a really cool dude who knows how to have a good time, laugh at himself (and others), and has a genuine love for all things METAL. As you might have figured from the title of this post, I have a bit of a Bro-crush on him (no homo).
But it doesn't end there. Rob is also a self-proclaimed "metal photojournalist" who covers the local scene in Ontario, Canada, and, judging from his Myspace pictures, has a damn good time doing it. He is even rocking a Rhapsody shirt in one picture, a guilty pleasure that we both share. Kudos, Rob.

Here are some shots from Rob's Myspace page, showing him doing what he does best. Which is BEING AWESOME.






Long story short, Rob Cranny is AWESOME, and I've offered him a 'Contributing Writer' spot on Illogical Contraption. So any of you losers out there who haven't cancelled your Myspace accounts yet (get with the times, tweet tweet) should write to him as well and tell him to join the team.

ALL HAIL ROB CRANNY! ALL HAIL DETSORGEKALF! ALL HAIL METAL!

10 comments:

ReallyGood@Wounding said...

Vaguely Vrangsinn of Nattefrost/Carpathian Forest fame. Work it!

Steven said...

Tirelessly uncovering the truth. Nice.

D.Matt said...

computer moniter playing drums... awesome.

Shelby Cobras said...

That's "Necrotron".

Anonymous said...

Sweet i am loved to the max

This has totally made my day thank you so much man

Feel free to keep in touch here is my labels email address its the one i check the most

Rab@northernstormrecords.com

Anonymous said...

I've gotten to know Rab over a fair length of time. Let me tell you, it's pretty hard not to want to get to know him. It starts off by seeing him at a few concerts, always laughing, always with a pile of people. Then you wonder "Shit this guy must be awesome." Then you get the chance encounter with him at a local show.

Then you meet him and it puts your wonders to rest. Shit, that guy is awesome. The word "party" can often be used to describe the man, as he's as much of a fun loving die hard metal fan as you can get.

Dr. Rab, you're awesome-o-tron...dizzles.

Darcy said...

One of the best dudes in the history of dudes, I was happy to read this. This quote sums him up perfectly:

"Here are some shots from Rob's Myspace page, showing him doing what he does best. Which is BEING AWESOME."

Rabaflab is the man.

Kevin said...

Rab is indeed awsome. I've had the privildge of hanging with him at a few shows. Totally cool dude to hang with

Knelltator333 said...

Rest in Peace Rob. I'll miss you.

Shelby Cobras said...

Indeed saddened to hear that Rob has passed away. He was a fucking hero, and he'll be missed by everyone here at IllCon. To Valhalla!