Monday, May 9, 2011

Weeeeeezy... The Jeffersons/Gong connection


This is the greatest thing I have ever read. I had to share. (via Magnet Magazine)

Ten years ago, writer Mitch Myers profiled prog-rock legend Daevid Allen (Soft Machine, Gong), who told us of his strange encounter with actor Sherman Hemsley (a.k.a. George Jefferson). Here is the story of Hemsley’s obsession with flying teapots and his alleged den of iniquity that housed an LSD lab, a harem of naked girls and crack/freebase depots on every floor.

In 1999, I interviewed musician Daevid Allen for MAGNET at a small recording studio in San Francisco. Allen was an odd sort, with plenty of old stories to tell. Back in the 1960s, he was a founding member of wonderfully creative British band Soft Machine. But Aleen didn’t stay with the Soft Machine for long and ended up forming another psychedelic rock group called Gong.

“Movin’ On Up” (The Jeffersons theme):

In his life, Allen has hung out with everybody from William Burroughs, Jimi Hendrix, Bud Powell and Paul McCartney to Syd Barrett, Keith Richards, Richard Branson and a whole bunch of other famous people that he can’t remember. One famous person Allen does recall spending time with is Sherman Hemsley, a.k.a. George Jefferson of ’70s sitcom The Jeffersons. Hemsley had been a jazz keyboardist before portraying Jefferson on television, and his progressive sensibilities led him to appreciate the offbeat sounds of Allen and Gong. Apparently, cosmic Gong compositions such as “Flying Teapot” and “Pot Head Pixies” resonated with the TV star’s psyche. Years after Allen’s encounter with Hemsley, the actor would go on to collaborate with Jon Anderson, lead singer of hugely successful prog-rock group Yes. The Hemsley/Anderson production was called Festival Of Dreams and supposedly described the spiritual qualities of the number seven.

Here is Allen’s verbatim account of his sole meeting with certified Gong fanatic Hemsley:

“It was 1978 or 1979, and Sherman Hemsley kept ringing me up. I didn’t know him from a bar of soap because we didn’t have television in Spain (where I was living). He called me from Hollywood saying, ‘I’m one of your biggest fans and I’m going to fly you here and put flying teapots all up and down the Sunset Strip.’ I thought, ‘This guy is a lunatic.’ He kept it up so I said, ‘Listen, can you get us tickets to L.A. via Jamaica? I want to go there to make a reggae track and have a honeymoon with my new girlfriend.’ He said, ‘Sure! I’ll get you two tickets.’

I thought, ‘Well, even if he’s a nut case at least he’s coming up with the goodies.’ The tickets arrived and we had this great honeymoon in Jamaica. Then we caught the plane across to L.A. We had heard Sherman was a big star, but we didn’t know the details. Coming down the corridor from the plane, I see this black guy with a whole bunch of people running after him trying to get autographs. Anyway, we get into this stretch limousine with Sherman and immediately there’s a big joint being passed around. I say, ‘Sorry man, I don’t smoke.’ Sherman says, ‘You don’t smoke and you’re from Gong?’

Inside the front door of Sherman’s house was a sign saying, ‘Don’t answer the door because it might be the man.’ There were two Puerto Ricans that had a LSD laboratory in his basement, so they were really paranoid. They also had little crack/freebase depots on every floor. Then Sherman says, ‘Come on upstairs and I’ll show you the Flying Teapot room.’ Sherman was very sweet but was surrounded by these really crazy people.

We went up to the top floor and there was this big room with darkened windows and “Flying Teapot” is playing on a tape loop over and over again. There were also three really dumb-looking, very voluptuous Southern gals stoned and wobbling around naked. They were obviously there for the guys to play around with.

[My girlfriend] Maggie and I were really tired and went to our room to go to bed. The room had one mattress with an electric blanket and that was it. No bed covering, no pillow, nothing. The next day we came down and Sherman showed us a couple of [The Jeffersons] episodes.

One of our fans came and rescued us, but not before Sherman took us to see these Hollywood PR people. They said, ‘Well, Mr. Hemsley wants us to get the information we need in order to do these Flying Teapot billboards on Sunset Strip.’ I looked at them and thought they were the cheesiest, most nasty people that I had ever seen in my life and I gave them the runaround. I just wanted out of there. I liked Sherman a lot. He was a very personable, charming guy. I just had a lot of trouble with the people around him.”


Wow! Who knew Daevid Allen doesn't smoke w33d!?

Also of note:

(via Wikipedia) Sherman Hemsley is a self-proclaimed fan of 70's progressive rock including bands Gentle Giant and Nektar. On his appearance on The Dinah Shore Show, Hemsley performed a dance to the Gentle Giant song "Proclamation" from The Power and the Glory. After his dance, the host was laughing and asked what kind of music that was. Sherman then proceeded to give a 5 minute speech on Gentle Giant. Sherman can also been seen wearing a Nektar T-shirt during his interview with Norman Lear when Lear hosted Saturday Night Live from Season 2 Episode 26.



Saturday, May 7, 2011

FAUN FABLES - FAMILY ALBUM (2004)


Consider this the closest I'll ever come to condoning rampant Burnerism.

The Faun Fables story goes something like this: At some point in the late 90's, the Burner-esque NYC-based freak-folk singer/songwriter Dawn McCarthy moves west, relocating to the San Francisco Bay Area to seek her fate amongst the burnouts and weirdos who reside therein. There she meets up with the bizarre and hugely-talented (if not somewhat Burner-esque) Nils Frykdahl, acrobatic vocalist and driving force behind such groundbreaking performance art/musical acts as Idiot Flesh and Sleepytime Gorilla Museum. The combination of their talents proves to be a unique and multi-faceted journey into the medieval and the disturbing--Faun Fables is born with the release of their first album Early Song in 1999.

Yes, yes. I hear the voices rising in protest already.
Guilty Pleasures Week is over! Isn't "folk" music the antithesis of what IllCon stands for? Isn't this in fact the type of stuff we usually aim to destroy?
Indeed it is, and Family Album's only downfall is its occasional propensity for plodding along in folky gloom for a bit too long at points (see the first track, "Eyes of A Bird"). But stick with it for a bit, and if you aren't hooked by the album's finest track, "Lucy Belle" (a Frykdahl-centric ode to his dog which quickly spirals out of control, cascading into lyrics about "riding the animal down to the kingdom of stone" and vague references to the "final battle" between man and beast), you will be by the distinctly Eastern-European tilt of the whole thing, or the haunting quality of the lyrics, or, failing all that, the all-encompassing CREEPINESS of atmosphere contained herein.
Not standard IllCon fare by any stretch, but there are amazing songs to be found everywhere on this 15-track epic, not only the aforementioned "Lucy Belle", but other schizophrenic gems as well, such as "Fear March", "Still Here", and the deceptively bouncy "Carousel With Madonnas", which Sonic Asymmetry describes thusly: "This is Zygmunt Konieczny’s astounding masterpiece from the early 1960s. Originally Ewa Demarczyk’s most famous anthem, the knock-out staccato is reproduced here perfectly by Brian Schachter on piano. But what is truly stunning is the fact that Miron Bialoszewski’s poem is so ardently expressed by McCarthy’s uncanny, polysyllabic diction. She makes it appear easy, but it is not. Who would have thought that this song would be translated, much less sung so distinctly in another language? The rectilineal form is only slightly softened by Osanna-like flutes and decorative percussion. Nonetheless, it will remain a demonic stop-go waltz, fully dependent on emphatic piano attacks. " Got it?

Download HERE
Purchase HERE

Thursday, May 5, 2011

HAPPY CINCO DeMAIO

This inconceivably witty piece of semantic effluvium provided by the always dependable Matt Shapiro.

VARIOUS ARTISTS - DOOMSDAY NEWS I & II: The New Generation of Heavy Metal (1988/89)

Just got the first of these two compilations on vinyl the other day, and have been blaring it relentlessly. Thanks again to del Tigre for the new record player.

Let's see: Coroner, Deathrow, Celtic Frost, Sabbat, Watchtower, Kreator, and Voivod all in the same place? Go look up "no brainer" in the dictionary.

Fuckers.


1. Scanner – Galactos
2. Rage – Before the Storm
3. Deathrow – Scattered by the Wind
4. Coroner – Arrogance in Uniform
5. Tankard – Total Addiction
6. Sabbat – Hosanna in Excelsis
7. Helloween – Starlight
8. Vendetta – And the Brave Man Fails
9. Celtic Frost – Mesmerized
10. Kreator – After the Attack
11. Voivod – Cockroaches

Download HERE




1. Coroner – Hate, Fire, Blood
2. Watchtower – Dangerous Toy
3. Midas Touch – Aceldama – Terminal Breath
4. Deathrow – Machinery
5. Mordred – The Artist
6. Rage – Mirror
7. Vendetta – War
8. Mania – Break Out

Download HERE

PS: There was aslo a 'Part 3' (Thrashing East Live!), but it was basically just a bunch of live tracks from Kreator, Sabbat, Tankard, and Coroner. Meh.

Bulgaria's own VENDETTA, in a band photo that really warrants no further commentary.

Tuesday, May 3, 2011

ILLOGICAL CONTRAPTION vs. AL QAEDA


So, as anyone who has corresponded with me via the blog already knows, illogicalcontraption(at)yahoo(dot)com was hacked in the wee hours of Tuesday, May 3rd, by forces unknown. Just to clear things up, I am NOT in fact in London, and I have NOT in fact been robbed. I don't need any money. Please stop sending it, as you are only funding terrorism.
Oh yeah, did I mention that the vast government conspiracy culminating in the security penetration of the IllCon email account has been directly linked to the assassination of Osama bin Laden (more like Osama bin Trippin', amirite!?) and the overarching takeover plot of his shapeshifting reptilian overlords? Because it has.
Anyway, counter-hack measures have been taken already, but the EXTRA shitty part is that the turd who hacked my account deleted every saved email in the 2 and a half year history of the blog (about 700 total), along with all of my contacts. So if you guys want to keep in touch, please send a fresh message so I have your info. Sorry for the bullshit.

On a semi-related note, why the fuck did all the link text on IllCon turn blue? It used to be red text that turned green when you hovered and grey when visited. Now it's just blue with no hover and purple when visited. I checked all the HTML in my template and nothing has changed, could this be a retaliatory al Qaeda plot as well? I dunno. If anyone with better tech skills than me (which is probably most of you) has an idea how to fix this shit let me know.

Sorry again, guys, and thanks for your patience.

Click for full size. This is old, but I still think it's kinda funny.
Fuck you, Yahoo.

Monday, May 2, 2011

I must atone...




















I feel pretty bad about subjecting you all to one of my many guilty pleasures in my last post, and seeing as how I'll be away from internet-land for a couple of weeks, I didn't want to leave you with a bad taste in your mouth, so I figured I'd hip you good people to a band I just recently heard of, courtesy of the very awesome Hammer Smashed Sound.

Brooklyn-based skronky Death-Metallers Pyrrhon. I figured these guys would fit right in over here, being as they are some kind of Gorguts, Ulcerate, Human Remains and Deathspell Omega-like smorgasbord of tricksy riffage, atonal skronk and balls-out brutality. Here, check 'em out for yourselves...



Pretty darned tasty, right?

These guys strike me as being right up Cobras alley, so here's hoping they catch on around here. The track above is from their new album 'An Excellent Servant But a Terrible Master',which is available at their Bandcamp page as a 'name your own price' download. I URGE you to get over there and purchase it for however much you can afford. It really is a great album.





















Now, this being the twenty-first century - for most of us, anyway - you can tell the guys in Pyrrhon how much you love 'em via either the old-school way, if you still use MySpace, or, for those down wit' the kids aight, over at Facebook. The choice, as ever, is YOURS.

As I said earlier, I'll be mostly off-line for a few weeks now, but i didn't want to leave you empty-handed, so here is a track from Pyrrhon's debut EP 'Fever Kingdoms'...



...and HERE is a link to that EP for you to download, which I totally stole from Death Metal Invasion.




















Now g'wan, SCRAM you kids, before I get all verklemmt....

The Hanson Brothers - Gross Misconduct


No, this is not another post of shame about these douches:



The Hanson Brothers (taking their name from the 1977 Paul Newman flick Slap Shot, right) are basically Vancouver's mighty NoMeansNo (with one or two members of D.O.A. on this album) in their jock, hockey-punk alter ego role. They differ from NMN in about every possible way, replacing their poetic, opaquely obscure lyrics and complex, jazzy hardcore/rock with lyrics that are 100% ice hockey and music that is 110% Ramones worship.

Did I just hear you yawn? Oh no, another band emulating the Ramones, you say?
WRONG! Granted, waaaay to many bands have aped the seminal NY punkers sound, but nobody, NOBODY, has done it as well as Rob and John et al. They've taken the Ramones' basic punk rock and infused it with a steroid dose of tight precision and technicality that elevates the style to another level. The real skill in what they do though, is that they've managed to do so without it being obvious or distracting.


If you're familiar with NoMeansNo's pulverising music you'll know they've been doing this covertly for years. Just listen to choice cuts like "Dad" (Sex Mad), "Oh no! Bruno!" (Wrong), "Bad" (The Sky Is Falling And I Want My Mommy) and "Tuck It Away" (The Worldhood Of The World (As Such)).

The music on this, the Hanson's first album
Gross Misconduct, is so infectiously catchy that you'll find yourself humming it for days. This CD includes the three song 7" that came with the 1992 LP.

Sunday, May 1, 2011

GILTY PLEASHURES


'Sup, dudes! WHAT DID I MISS? I heard we were smack in the middle of guilty pleasures week up in this biiiiizzzzchhhh lol. I don't read this blog enough to know what that even means. Is it a celebration of my favorite Anita Blake: Vampire Hunter novel? Did Cobras want us to talk about the newest Barry Gibb/Babs Streisand collab? Was there any good shiz?? I've kind of been "off the grid" doing some work on "the playa" awaiting the next big burn sesh and making some extra dough. Lol I'm so fucking hi rite now.

ANNNNYYYWAYZ I wanted to talk about a little band I just
discovered and have been listening to for about 9 days str8. These guys seem to have come out of nowhere! My bro ROOTZ just popped them on while we were settin' up some tentz and I instantly fell into the wickedest H-HOLE (hash hole) ever. I mean these dudes were on some other shit. Check out this panther they had on stage:

That is like the evilest stage ever, rite???? The JGB or "Jerry Garcia Band" apparently hail from rite here in San Francisco, Cali. They released their first album in 1975. The pretty much perfect "Cats Under The Stars" and that, my friends, is my gift to you on this beautiful day. I basically became the biggest JGB supafan ever in the last couple days and I am now the proud owner of the complete set of JGB band's lead singer Jerry Garcia's whole collection of RARE COLLECTABLE NECKTIES. Eat that, Cobras.

Wickedly wild and weird, rite? For reals though, mysterious lead singer/guitar player Jerry Garcia's voice is heartbreakingly beautiful and his playing is fantastic on this album. Smoke an L get transported to 1975. A groovier, funkier time.

GUILTY PLEASURES WEEK: Final Word From Shelby Cobras


























BEST.

ALBUM.

EVER.



(Still gives me chills.)