Saturday, January 23, 2010

Gore Drenched Legacy

Excerpt from Grotesque Disjunction:

Gut ripping sensations of hell
Hands digging in, ripping innards
Shards of tissue as shelled
Disfigured, rancid bones do rot
Mortal remains rip you apart
Correlation, your essence is lost

Summoning old school death metal the way it should be invoked. Formed in 1986 in Portland Oregon, Dead Conspiracy was a touchstone for future metal militants who followed in their wake. While once only available to avid, dedicated tape traders until recently, A reissue of their work is available through Hells Headbangers. GDL represents an anthology of their metallic existence illustrating the evolution of one bands approach to total sonic devastation. Dead Conspiracy formed in 1986 and split in 1990.


Buy this here:

Get this here:

Myspace here:

New Dead Conspiracy font for Hells Headbangers release by Christophe Szpajdel, Lord of Logos, here:




Editor's Note: First post from my old school she-bro Camellia sinensis from Portland. She's got her own thing going on right over here, as well as an undying thirst for all things cryptic and metal. All in all, a BADASS chick. Let's welcome her accordingly, shall we?

Friday, January 22, 2010

PINK NOISE: The Truth About Scientology And The "Mellow Gold Prophecies"

What is Scientology?

That's a good question. I've always been a little bit fascinated by Scientology, Dianetics, and L.Ron Hubbard, but I also make it a point to never write about religion on this blog. Religion is (to quote a very wise man) a "never-ending wheel". So are politics. I will talk about both today.
I'm not interested in the controversies surrounding Scientology. Nor am I interested in those fancy 4chan/Anonymous protests. My interest is in what Scientologists actually believe.
As we know, Scientology is a religion that was created by science fiction author L. Ron Hubbard (below). It is a self-help-esque belief system set up to destroy the self-imposed restrictions human beings subconsciously place upon themselves. But let's take a minute to recount the Scientologist "origin story".



Left: Hubbard inspects some sort of robotic spider.

After hours and hours of research, I finally found an account that sums it up pretty well. It was written by Scientologist Bob Minton in January 2001, and I will repeat the most important sections below. It is biased, but whatever. You can read the entire thing here: "Scientology's Core Beliefs".

"This story is the core belief in the religion known as Scientology. If the people Scientology tries to recruit knew about this story, I don't think they would ever get involved. This story is told to Scientologists when they reach a higher leveI.
75 million years ago, there was an alien galactic ruler named Xenu who was in charge of 76 planets in our part of the galaxy, including our own planet Earth, whose name at that time was Teegeeack. All of the planets Xenu controlled were over-populated by, on average, 178 billion people. Social problems dictated that Xenu rid his sector of the galaxy of this overpopulation problem, so he developed a plan.
Xenu sent out Tax Audit demands to all these billions of people. As each one entered the audit centers for the income tax inspections, the people were seized, held down and injected with a mixture of alcohol and glycol, and frozen. Then, all 1.4 trillion of these frozen people were put into spaceships that looked exactly like DC8 airplanes, except that the spaceships had rocket engines instead of propellers.
Xenu's entire fleet of DC8-like spaceships then flew to planet Earth, where the frozen people were dumped in and around volcanoes in the Canary Islands and the Hawaiian Islands. When Xenu's Air Force had finished dumping the bodies into the volcanoes, hydrogen bombs were dropped into the volcanoes and the frozen space aliens were destroyed.
However, Xenu's plan involved setting up electronic traps in Teegeack's atmosphere which were designed to trap the souls or spirits of the dead space aliens. When the 1.4 trillion spirits were being blown around on the nuclear winds, the electronic traps worked like a charm and captured all the souls in the electronic, sticky fly-paper like traps.
The spirits of the aliens were then taken to huge multi-plex cinemas that Xenu had previously instructed his forces to build on Teegeack. In these movie theatres the spirits had to spend many days watching special 3D movies, the purpose of which was twofold: 1) to implant into these spirits a false reality, i.e. the reality that WOGS know on Earth today; and, 2) to control these spirits for all eternity so that they could never cause trouble for Xenu in this sector of the Galaxy.


When the films ended and the souls left the cinema, they started to stick together in clusters of a few thousand and remained that way until mankind began to inhabit the earth. Today on earth all the spirits of these aliens have attached themselves to our bodies and are the root cause of the false reality that all but Scientology's OT 8's on earth experience. It is the job of all Scientologists to remove this false reality from the world by auditing each and every space alien spirit and human on earth to CLEAR not only this planet but the universe. For those who oppose Scientology and stand in their way like the LMT and all Scientology critics, Scientology promises to do away with them "quitely and without sorrow".
As for Xenu, the Loyal Officers of the Marcab Confederation finally discovered how evil he was and overthrew him. He is now locked away in a mountain on one of the planets and kept in by a force-field powered by an eternal battery. Several of Xenu's relatives can often be found on ARS.
In fact I know people who have sat in a room at the Sancastle building in Clearwater, Florida for 5-7 hours per day, holding two asparagus cans together, attached to a lie detector, talking all day to these dead space aliens. And guess what? You'll never ever finish talking to dead space aliens until you leave Scientology.
I am repeating this story to you as a warning. If you become involved with Scientology then I want you to do so with your eyes open and fully aware of the sort of material it contains.

Bob Minton

Keeping Scientology Working, OVERTIME



This video actually sums it up pretty well too (via Hubbard himself as well as South Park):



Wow.
I have to admit, Scientology has a FUCKING AWESOME origin story. Way better than those other religions. No wonder all those celebrities are hooked on it. Tom Cruise (right), Isaac Hayes... Hell, John Travolta even went so far as to star in Battlefield Earth (below) in obeisance to L. Ron Hubbard, who wrote the original book. And rocked a fucking awesome codpiece.
I don't see what the big deal is. If you're going to believe in one religion, you might as well make it interesting, right?



I think Scientology has gotten sort of a bad rap.

And speaking of rap, let's talk about another famous Scientologist, a Scientologist whose prophecies have shaken the very foundaries of my own belief system.
You see, I myself have stumbled upon something both profound and startling, a series of incidents too strange to be coincidence and too accurate to be chance.


I call them "The MELLOW GOLD PROPHECIES"...

(All photos used in this section are original, unaltered, and totally authentic.)

Superstar musician Beck Hansen is without a doubt one of Scientology's highest-profile adherents. But if we take a long, hard look at Beck's music, certain undeniable patterns start to emerge. Beck seems to have made several prophecies through his lyrics, prophecies that have been coming true through the course of he last couple years. Does this mean tha Scientology might actually be THE ONE TRUE RELIGION? Without jumping to any foolish conclusions, I'd have to answer with a completely qualified "YES". Take a look...

Let's start with the song "Diamond Bollocks" (an outtake from 1998's Mutations):

"So ungrateful to the who's and what's-his-face
Terrorist confections
look so out of place
Looking back at some dead world...
That looks so new...
"

NEW WORLD ORDER/NOVUS ORDO SECLORUM
BUSH/CHENEY

BECK ALWAYS KNEW WHAT TIME IT WAS

And consider "Bottle of Blues", also from Mutations:

"Like a tired soldier
With nothin' to shoot
And nowhere to lose
This bottle of blues
Egos drone
And pose alone
Like black balloons
All banged and blown
On a backwoods river
The infidels shiver
In the stench of belief"


HOLY WAR, ANYONE?

Beck knew 9/11 was coming, and sang about it on "Corvette Bummer" ("Loser" B-side, 1994):

"All my days I had moldy bread
Robot brains and the flying airplanes
Hollowed out, and filled with dust
Rocking like a hurricane under the rug...

Tinfoil witch burning under the bridge
Flap your wings and leap out the window
Put a glass eye in the eyes of god
Nuke the kids, Polaroid cupcake
Take it to the limit, new wave biscuit
Camouflage gimmick...

...Gonna jump like a flag
Gonna burn like a pig
"

FLYING AIRPLANES/LEAP OUT THE WINDOW
NUKE THE KIDS/CAMOUFLAGE GIMMICK
WAR ON TERROR?

WE REFUSED TO HEED HIS WARNINGS

He seemed to stumble upon his own prophetic visions first on the psychobabble track "11.6.45" from Stereopathetic Soul Manure (also 1994):

"It's uhh November 6th, 1945 and we ... went up to ...
and uhh, back to the house and watched MTV ... and playin' Pac-Man ...
it's all really gross and all the kids were diseased ...
giant airplanes, uh, crashing underneath ... electro-magnetic fuse ...
guys with flamethrowers ... melting ... taco trucks were crashed...
there was sausage meat all over the ... Sasquatch was eating a burrito
"

No one paid any mind (could this be due to the inclusion of the song "Pay No Mind" on Mellow Gold?). The Scientologists kept their ace in the hole while society stumbled further toward its own ruin. A GLOBAL CONSPIRACY. A MISUNDERSTOOD PROPHET...

Speaking of conspiracy, Beck even knew about the bleeding heart environmentalists and their phony "Global Warning" scheme all the way back in 1994. Remember "Atmospheric Conditions" from One Foot In The Grave?

"You can't get here to there
There hasn't been a change in the atmosphere
There hasn't been a change for over a year
There hasn't been a change in the atmosphere
Pull the tap
Just a tad
(Gypsy Haircut)
There's no Atmosphere
(A bear skin rug, The tambourines)
Dig a tunnel through the mountain
(Black Piano on the Mountain)
How many Atmospheres are out there?
(There's a broken bottle...in the tunnel)
"

EXACTLY.

And let's not forget "Hotwax" off of 1996's Odelay, in which Beck predicted the rise of Swine Flu in 2009. Look at these two parts of the same song:

"It takes a backwash man
To sing a backwash song
Like a frying pan when the fire's gone
Driving my pig while the band's taking pictures in the grass
In my radio smashed
"

followed by:

"Shocked my finger, spots on my hand
I been spreading disease all across the land
Beautiful air-conditioned,
Sitting in the kitchen
Wishing I was living like a hit man
"

In a quick dialogue at the end of the song, Beck seals the deal with this mystic nugget:

[Girl:] "Who are you?"
[Beck:] "I'm the enchanting wizard of rhythm."
[Girl:] "Why did you come here?"
[Beck:] "I came here to tell you about the rhythms of the universe...."

HE KNEW

Also concerning his own prophetic abilities:

(from "Static", the last song on Mutations):

"It's so easy to laugh at yourself
And all those jokes
Have already been written

Seems like another vain attempt
To let yourself fall out of the oven
Holy mountains
They look so tired
And it's a perfect day
To lock yourself inside
Who you foolin' when the fools are right
It's the same thing
But it's almost as different
"

Beck predicted Barack Obama's rise to the presidency all the way back in 1993. Check out the lyrics to "Supergolden Black Sunchild" from his very first album Golden Feelings:

"Bless this scepter
The genius too
Shit the eagle
Don't be cruel
My little sunchild
My blinding sun
Stab my power
Reap the reward

Supergolden black sunchild
"

Is your mind blown yet? If not, consider this photo, obtained and published solely by Illogical Contraption, Inc.:


I must stress that this photo has not been altered in any way. Beck was present amongst the First Family at the Obama Inauguration a year ago! Seems a little suspicious to me...

Shit, Beck even predicted Avatar. Consider this line from Guero's "Earthquake Weather":

"Space ships can't tame the jungle "

BAM!!!


There are many, many more uncanny coincidences to be found in Becks's lyrical output. Go see for yourself.

So what does the future hold for mankind, if we are to believe what Beck has taught us through The Mellow Gold Prophecies?

Consider the lyrics from "I've Seen The Land Beyond" off of One Foot In The Grave:

"From these shores where we belong
I have seen the the land beyond
Where the Lord is strange and strong
I have seen the the land beyond
There's no telling who'll be dead
When the pale horse is turning red
And the tongues will burn in vain
And everything will feel the same
There's no patience there's no peace
I have seen the land beyond
Where the gravestones never cease
I have seen the the land beyond
Through the troubles of years
The heavenly apparition appears
And we're haunted by our own minds
And the spirit comes in the disguise
[Background voice:] (With no eyes)
From these shores where we belong
I have seen the the land beyond
I'll be there and I'll be gone
I have seen the the land beyond
"


INDEED.

Thursday, January 21, 2010

THOMAS DOLBY - GOTHIC SOUNDTRACK (1986)



I'm not a big fan of Ken Russell's 1986 dramatic-horror romp Gothic. It had its head pretty far up its own ass, focusing way too heavily on the over-dramatic "ACTING!!!" of the quote unquote "THESPIANS!!!" in its cast than it did on things like story, special effects, gore, etc.
In addition (and I might be wrong here), that little goblin dude on the poster /videocassette box up there wasn't even in the movie. (Confirm/deny, anyone?). It was nowhere near Russell's earlier stuff (ahem, Altered States, ahem), and was a rare swing-and-a-miss for both him and the almost always reliable Vestron Video.

Nor am I much of a fan of British synth-rocker Thomas Dolby (above right and below left). Sure, he wrote "She Blinded Me With Science" and played keyboards on "Urgent" by Foreigner and all of Def Leppard's Pyromania, but besides that, his music has left me - for the most part - nonplussed.

But I'll be dipped in dogshit if Dolby's all-over-the-place soundtrack for this film isn't one of the best goddamn horror scores I've ever heard. Cool samples from the film weave in and out of equal layers of New Wave-y digital weirdness and formal Victorian classical pieces, while out-of-tune sitars, reverbed-out harpsichords, and creepy organ all battle for stage time on brilliant track after concise, brilliant track. There's even the gratuitous pop-rock "crossover" number: The almost unbearably corny "The Devil Is An Englishman". Cheesy, yes, but packed with enough camp value that it is nigh unto passable. This song might even be a worthy addition to your "Halloween Party Mix" CD, depending on how lame you are.




Download HERE
Purchase HERE
thomasdolby.com







"She Blinded Me With Science"



Gothic trailer:



What's that? You'd like another amazing Thomas Dolby-related video from the Illogical Archives? OK.

ED COX - CLOWNCORE (2007)

By Del Tigre



That's right, fuckers--CLOWNCORE. Get out your glowsticks and get on your greasepaint. I found this album through a messageboard link that said "Download this now, shit is FUCKWIN." That pretty much sums it up. Mr. Bungle / Gogol Bordello rave remix? Spooky accordion over sick fucking breakcore? Sure. But most of all--FUCKWIN. Check it out:





I can't find a link to purchase the album anywhere, but here's the dude's Myspace. I think we all need to support such quality clown music and help reclaim the name of clowns from ICP, so buy his shit if you ever see it for sale. I certainly will. Until then: Download

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

THE GUY WHO DROPPED ACID AND TALKED WITH DOLPHINS



In mankind's long and mostly fruitless search for intelligent non-human life, few scientists have been as successful as John Cunningham Lilly. With The SETI Institute entering their 25th year attempting to locate sentient life in space and the European Space Agency recently joining the fray, it is an oft-ignored fact that John Lilly was highly successful at communicating with non-human beings decades ago. Perhaps it was Lilly's slightly-less-than conventional approach that is to blame for his obscurity.
You see, Mr. Lilly's technique went something like this: 1) Eat a bunch of Lysergic acid diethylamide (LSD), Ketamine, or other psychoactive drug. 2) Immerse self in isolation tank (below). 3) Trip balls. 4) Understand dolphin language. 5) Repeat.

To the chagrin of much of the scientific community, it actually worked pretty well.



Lilly is credited with the creation of the isolation tank in 1954, a tool that he found indespensable in understanding the deepest workings of the human mind (and, as a result, the workings of non-human, cetacean minds). An isolation tank is basically a pod filled with salt water that assists in studies of the mind by cutting of ALL senses: Sight, sound, touch, and smell. Floating weightlessly within the tank is sort of a shortcut to meditation/Nirvana, so of course hallucinogenic drugs needed to be added to the equation.
Lilly was a pioneer psychonaut whose passion was to communicate with dolphins. By travelling within his own mind, he began to understand the barriers of speech and thought between humans and cetaceans, and eventually how to break those barriers down.

It might sound strange, but the brain of a dolphin is remarkably similar to our own. Bottlenose dolphins have been observed partaking in complex play patterns, shown the ability to understand sign language, and have even shown signs of meta-cognitive reasoning. A dolphin's brain mass-to-body weight ratio (which is a pretty accurate way of judging overall intelligence) is almost the same as a human's, with its actual average brain mass being slightly higher than a human's. A chimpanzee's brain mass is about one quarter of a human's.
I'm sure we're all familiar with Flipper or maybe even Howard The Talking Dolphin from The Illuminatus! Trilogy. These characters would have probably never existed without John Lilly's research, and no one else has come close (or even attempted to) match the breakthroughs he made before his death in September 2001.

Through extensive amounts of research at the University of Pennsylvania, the U.S. Public Health Service Commissioned Officers Corps, and then his own Communication Research Institute in the Virgin Islands, Lilly formed a set of very distinct ideas about conciousness and the nature of the brain, and was, in his later years, seen by his colleagues as a mix between a scientist and a mystic. He wrote 19 books and several papers on his concepts about human-cetacean communication, the most well-known being Programming and Metaprogramming in the Human Biocomputer: Theory and Experiments and The Centre of the Cyclone. In the 1980's, he spearheaded a project at the Communication Research Institute in which scientists attempted to teach dolphins a computer-synthesised language.
It would be impossible for me to sum up Lilly's findings and theories all in one place, but if you wish to explore them further, this is a good place to start. So is this. Or this. This one is good too. You get the idea.


Some of the most compelling evidence of Lilly's success is probably this: Real audio of John's cetacean friend Peter saying "Hello, Margaret"

Later in his life, Lilly experienced visions while under the influence of Ketamine, and described a malevolent entity (which he called SSI - "solid state systems") that was encroaching upon humanity via electronics and prophesied a great struggle for the survival of mankind. Lilly called the collective benevolent human consciousness E.C.C.O. ("Earth Coincidence Control Office" - Anyone remember Ecco The Dolphin?) and even wrote a book about the impending struggle. Bear in mind, he was still a respected scientist, psychoanalyst, and physician when he was spouting this stuff.

Lilly worked as an advisor to George Lucas in the 70's, and eventually became a well-known figure in the west coast "counterculture" of the 1970's and 80's. He had two major Hollywood films based on his ideas: Mike Nichols' The Day of The Dolphin in 1973 and the fabulously psychedelic isolation tank adventure Altered States in 1981 (perhaps you'd like the the soundtrack?).
John Cunningham Lilly, M.D. was an absolutely tripped-out dude, pursuing ideas that no one had the courage or intelligence to pursue either before him or since. He fought for the humane treatment of all cetacean life, seeing them as our equals and - in some cases - our superiors. After familiarizing myself with his work, I have to concur.

Below: John Lilly photographed with Allen Ginsberg and Timothy Leary, 1991.


Get some of John Lilly's books here:

- Programming the Human Biocomputer
- Center of the Cyclone: Looking into Inner Space
- The Deep Self: Consciousness Exploration in the Isolation Tank
- Lilly on Dolphins
- Communication Between Man and Dolphin

MORE

John C. Lilly's (outdated) website

FLESH PARADE - KILL WHITEY 7" (1997)


A full 60-minute album's worth of rage, volume, blastbeats, and angst boiled down into five songs performed in just over 7 minutes. Flesh Parade are from New Orleans, and display the same penchant for sick grind and ill breakdowns that the area is well known for. I mean, check out the change-up on "Monsieur LeBeaux". Fuck.
This record is absolute face-shredding insanity, with some of the most inhuman vocals you've ever heard. Relapse re-released it under the same title in 1998, packaged with some FP demo material. But this is the original one. The band broke up around 2000, leaving very little behind.
Realizing that they had the potential to make some money, Flesh Parade re-formed in the mid 00's, and are even releasing an album (titled Dirty Sweet (???)) later this year. Their Myspace page worries me.

And hey, check out Chief Dickbong up there.

Download HERE
Purchase the 1998 Relapse version (+ 6 tracks!) HERE

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Contropotere



Contropotere were and Italian anarcho crust band formed in 1986 who brought something different and amazing to the international crust scene. By incorporating non-traditional instrumentation and a discordance not usually found in the genre, Contropotere created music that was both ghostly and primitive. Translated to mean Counterpower, this strange style of tribal hardcore was made by a bunch of squatters who all lived together in Naples Italy for a time between 1986 and 1994. They had a lineup made of some core members, and a revolving cast of friends who would contribute to their records. This particular 7 inch was "realized" by 15 people total. The lyrics (English translations included in the liner notes) touch on common anarchist themes, but tend to stay on the esoteric side of things, and the dual female vocals really make the entire musical package more angry. This baby just drips with passion and energy.

Information about the band is problematic if you don't speak or read Italian, but if you can translate then there is a wealth of information here. I do know that they were extremely active in their politics and were part of several labor and anarchist movements in Italy during the 90s including the Nepoli automomist movement. Plainly put, I don't know anyone who does not immediately fall in love with this little slab of wax upon first listening and people who are not fans of the aforementioned genres can usually hang with this.

The Solo Selvaggi (Only Wild) E.P. is the bands fourth recorded output, and was released in '92 by the almighty Skuld records. Their other records are great, especially Nessuna Speranza, Nessuna Paura (No Hope, No Fear), but i constantly come back to this E.P. and consider it their pinnacle. Eventually the band's sound meandered more toward noise and industrial music, and its live shows became very performance art based. This along with their later recorded output probably alienated many of their fans. The record is very out of print but you can still find a copy on ebay once and a while. The band recently reunited to play a few reunion shows in Naples in the summer and fall of 2008.

Here is a video of the band in Berlin in 1991 before they got all weird on us.



Their official myspace page is here, although once again all in Italian.



Download here.


















P.S. --------->Please if you can, donate to Haitian relief!! These people need our help! You can donate $10 on behalf of the American Red Cross by simply texting the word "haiti" to 90999. It's safe and secure and will show up on your next phone bill.

METAL ON METAL


Above: This is pretty metal.

Remember when we used to write about METAL here on IC? I sure do.
Let's do that again today. Specifically, I'd like to talk about heavy metal cover songs.
I'm not talking about shitty non-metal artists covering good metal bands or even shitty metal bands covering classic rock or pop songs. Shit, even good metal bands covering shitty songs can be pretty depressing. I'm talking about GOOD METAL bands covering GOOD METAL songs. It's not as common as you might think.

Here are a half dozen of my favorites.


Vondur covering Judas Priest's "Rocka Rolla":



While we're on the subject, how 'bout Death covering Judas Priest's "Painkiller"?:



Covering Slayer is a slippery slope for metal bands, akin to when frat-rockers cover Beatles songs. Some bands do it rather well, though:



Pig Destroyer covering The Melvins' "Oven". The album version is better but we'll give 'em a pass since they're playing at Gilman in this video:



Deicide covering Deep Purple's "Black Night" (yes, DP counts as "metal"):



And finally, Emperor covering Bathory's "A Fine Day To Die":




Can anyone else think of one?
My guess is "yes".

Monday, January 18, 2010

KOENJIHYAKKEI - ANGHERR SHISSPA (2005)


It's been awhile since I killed off 'Prog Blog Wednesdays', which I know disappointed some of you, so I figured now would be a good time to post some fucking killer Japanese semi-orchestral Zeuhl/prog.
Hopefully we are all aware of the existence of Ruins, the seminal two-piece prog freakout masterminded by drummer/composer Tatsuya Yoshida. If not, please go here to check out their album Refusal Fossil and here to check out their album Burning Stone. Even in a country notorious for obtuse weirdness, Ruins stand head and shoulders above their diminutive countrymen when it comes to compositional insanity. These guys make drums, bass, and vocals sound like an orchestra of escaped mental patients.
So imagine, if you will, what Yoshida could do with a full band. That is the basic idea behind Koenjihyakkei (a word that - if I understand correctly - has no real English translation). Incorporating the best elements of Zeuhl heroes like Magma and Shub Niggurath (operatic female vocals, nonsensical lyrics, throbbing bass, and jittery wind instruments) but adding in something of a rapid-fire cartoonish whimsy a la Carl Stalling, Koenjihyakkei is widely regarded as one of the best and most talented progrock bands currently roaming the face of the planet. And Angherr Shisspa is widely regarded as their swan song.
Prepare to have your mind utterly and completely blown.

Download HERE
Purchase HERE



Website (via Skin Graft Records)
Koenjihyakkei on Myspace

FOR MLK DAY



In related news, an actual correction made by the actual Washington Post to an actual statement that they published: