LISTEN UP YOU CHADS, CHUDS, AND CHOADS, HERE'S A NEW BLOG POST I MADE BECAUSE YOU PEOPLE KEEP POINTING OUT THAT THIS BLOG HASN'T HAD ANY NEW BLOG POSTS IN YEARS.
It's now had one new blog post in years.
There is minimal online information on this dude, but from what I can tell, Rev. Bruce was a Seattle public access host in the early 90s. His show went through several incarnations, including one he co-hosted with a French bulldog named Buster Love (look it up, good stuff).
But it's this earlier form that I'm obsessed with. Dude is ON FIRE. Doesn't even need a shirt. Leather jacket? Check. Chubby cult followers? Check. Bullwhips? Check. Attack dog? Fuckin' check. All excellent elements on their own, but when you add them up? OH YEEEAH! Best Internet Thing I've seen this year.
Drop what you're doing and check out this video. If you have any taste, you'll watch the entire thing, but pay special attention from 4:20 on. At 5:00, Gibby pulls one of the most awesome moves I've ever seen. Shit is real, son.
What's up gang? Tired of listening to metal? No? TOO FUCKING BAD. Ever wanted to hear the Butthole Surfers' unreleased techno album? No? TOO FUCKING BAD. Most of these songs were re-recorded for the shitstorm that was "Weird Revolution," but these early versions are way more awesome. Let's face it, if you don't download this based on the cover alone, you're a epic poser. Get into it, poser.
(Pro tip: You don't deserve a song this awesome.)
Track Listing: 1. Weird Revolution 2. Intelligent Guy 3. Jet Fighter 4. Imbuya 5. Mexico 6. Venus 7. The Last Astronaut 8. Yentel 9. Junky Jenny in Gaytown 10. They Came In 11. I Don't Have a Problem 12. Turkey & Dressing Download
No introduction is necessary, as there is nothing before you but thang.
1. Red Hot Mama 2. Come In Out Of The Rain 3. Fantasy Is Reality 4. Breakdown 5. Loose Booty 6. Unfinished Instrumental 7. I Call My Baby Pussycat 8. Put Love in Your Life 9. Little Old Country Boy 10. Moonshine Heather 11. Oh Lord, Why Lord/Prayer 12. My Automobile 13. There Is Nothing Before Me But Thang 14. Funky Woman 15. Livin' The Life 16. Silent Boatmen Download
On the heels of Shelby's memorial post, and in honor of the man himself, here is a collection of Dio's early work. Hopefully some of this is new to you. I've capped it at 1975, because let's face it, if you don't already own every album he recorded between 1975 and 1987 (at least), you're probably wondering what you're doing here. Hello there! Welcome to Illogical Contraption. My name's Erik, and I'll be your tour escort today. Allow me to show you around the campus. You're going to meet the most life-changing people of your life here, I just know it. Care for a diet cola? A moist towelette? A low-tar cigarette? Fantastic. Now have a seat right there while I cue up this explanatory video. Just relax...clear your mind...everything will be explained.
Sorry. Where was I? Oh right. "Magic."
Rock it:
Ronnie & The Red Caps (1958-59) 1. Lover 2. Conquest 3. An Angel Is Missing 4. What I'd Say Download
Ronnie Dio & The Prophets (1962) 1. The Ooh Poo Pah Doo 2. Love Pains
(1963) 1. Gonna Make It Alone 2. Swingin Street
(1963) - Dio At Domino's 1. Follow Me 2. Blue Days 3. I Left My Heart In San Francisco 4. Red Top 5. An Angel Is Missing 6. Irresistible You 7. I Told You So 8. Everybody's Got A Dance 9. Don't Take Your Love From Me 10. Johnny Blue 11. Great Balls Of Fire 12. Love Pains
(1964) 1. Mr. Misery 2. Love Potion #9 3. Will You Still Love Me 4. Our Year 5. Smiling By Day 6. Dear Darlin 7. Walking Alone 8. The Way Of Love 9. Walking In Circles 10. Days With Brenda
(1965) 1. Where You Gonna Run 2. Say You're Mine Again Download All
The Elves - Live At The Beacon (1971) 1. The Scrambles 2. Driftin 3. Aqualung 4. 36 Year Old Lady 5. Mountain Venus 6. Simple Sister 7. The Rape of Andre Lucia Download
Elf - Elf (1972) 1. Hoochie Koochie Lady 2. First Avenue 3. Never More 4. I'm Coming Back For You 5. Sit Down Honey 6. Dixie Lee Junction 7. Love Me Like A Woman 8. Gambler, Gambler Download
Elf - War Pigs '72 (1972) Disc 1 1. Wake Up Sunshine (Studio Demo) 2. Smile For Me Lady (Studio Demo) 3. Rosemarie (Studio Demo) 4. You Felt The Same Way (Studio Demo) 5. Driftin' (Studio Demo) 6. Saturday Night 7. Cross-Eyed Mary (Jethro Tull) 8. Stay With Me (The Faces) 9. Little Queenie / Johnny B Good/ Whole Lotta Shakin' (Medley) 10. An Old Raincoat Will Never Let You Down (Rod Stewart) 11. Cold Ramona 12. Black Dog (Led Zeppelin) 13. Lura Lura 14. Four Day Creep (Humble Pie) Disc 2 1. Give Me A Chance 2. Rumble (Link Wray) 3. Aqualung (Jethro Tull) 4. Drown Me In The River 5. Simple Man (Graham Nash) 6. Won't Get Fooled Again/ Baba O' Riley (The Who) 7. Pisces Apple Lady (Leon Russell) 8. Dirty Dollar Bill 9. Buckingham Blues 10. So Long 11. You Shook Me / Rock's Boogie 12. War Pigs (Black Sabbath) Disc 1, Disc 2
Elf - Return Nevermore Live (1973) 1. Love Me Like a Woman 2. Stone Cold Fever 3. Behind Blue Eyes 4. Sit Down Honey 5. Rockin' Chair Blues 6. Hoochie Koochie Lady Download
Elf - Carolina County Ball (1974) 1. Carolina County Ball 2. L.A.59 3. Ain't It All Amusing 4. Happy 5. Annie New Orleans 6. Rocking Chair Rock 'N' Roll Blues 7. Rainbow 8. Do The Same Thing 9. Blanche Download
Elf - Trying To Burn The Sun (1975) 1. Black Swampy Water 2. Prentice Wood 3. When She Smiles 4. Good Time Music 5. Liberty Road 6. Shotgun Boogie 7. Wonderworld 8. Streetwalker Download
NOTE: There are a few stragglers from the Prophets / Elf years that I didn't upload. Why? Because they can be found HERE. Check out the Elves and Electric Elves singles.
On a final note, I'm going to end with my personal favorite Dio song. I've loved this one for years. Not only are the vocals and guitar work top notch, but, as pointed out in a recent comment, the lyrics are strikingly appropriate. Rock on Dio.
You know when you're banging your hot 70s girlfriend on the hood of your Ferrari and throwing the devil horns at passing traffic? These are the tunes on the FM.
Let's review:
Questions?
Track Listing: 1. Tomorrow Child 2. Drive Like Hell 3. I Touched a Rock 4. Angelique 5. Yakima Red 6. There She Goes 7. Shut Up (Ain't Got Time) 8. Circle Of Stone 9. Babble On (Always) 10. World War Blues Download
Pop quiz, Hotshot: You're locked in the Museum of Modern Art with a half ounce of pure cocaine. You realize your only option is to inhale a monster line and crank up your thinking to the point where that light bulb over your head explodes from the sheer brilliance of the escape plan you just devised. But you're surrounded by sleek modern sculpture. You can't rail off that shit, dawg! You'll have to choose a picture from the wall and lay it flat. It's risky, but it just might work. But hold on -- there are thousands of pictures. Which do you choose? WHICH DO YOU CHOOSE?
Answer = this one:
That's right motherfucker, you chose a Nagel. Good job! Now you can enjoy your blow in style and then MacGyver your way to freedom and beyond. Vaya con Dios, brah.
Bio and Criticism: Patrick Nagel died in 1984 at age 38. He suffered a heart attack in his car after running a marathon for the American Heart Association. You might call that hilarious irony. I call it a tragic loss for the art world, you asshole.
Nagel had the artistic sensibility of a coked-out Lichtenstein drooling over the escort listings in a sushi bar. Although his career was defined by portraits of women who were probably named Claire or Roxy or Corvette, his style reflected a broader aesthetic unique to the 80s -- a sort of permanent detachment brought on by too much. This aesthetic resonates in the decade's pop culture, in movies like Scarface and Wall Street, books like White Noise and Less Than Zero, and major metropolitan areas like Miami. But Nagel didn't just jump on the bandwagon: he helped define the style. He created much of his work in the 70s, galvanizing this glamourous nihilism in the minds of the public, and on the fronts of beauty parlors everywhere.
But enough talk. Let's get down to art. First, some music to set the mood (I will not disgrace this blog by posting the most appropriate song -- Duran Duran's Rio, cover art by Nagel -- but I will disgrace it by posting Phil Collins):
Now let the smooth sounds wash over you as you enjoy a brief sampling of Nagel at his finest:
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