Friday, April 27, 2012


OK, maybe not.
I'm way too busy for such shenanigans, what with all my sweet guest appearances on heavy-metal-and-conspiracy-themed podcasts (OH HEY, did I mention that the "Illogical Conspiracy" episode of Metal Injection's Hand Ov Doom--featuring Yours Truly--is up now?), tours, forays in the IllCon clothing line, and the impending move from SF to Oakland... Shit, I've hardly got time to brush my teeth, much less accompany Extraterrestrial Nic Cage on his next adventure through the catacombs of subterranean Washington, D.C., searching for hidden messages in the text of ancient documents.
But long story short: The Apocryphon show in Arcata (Vallejo got cancelled--long story) was a fucking blast (see photos below for evidence), and thanks to all the die-hards who showed up. Dates are solid on our next Northwest tour, more on that in a second.

Now is the part where I devolve into an extended period of shameless self-promotion. Apologies in advance:


and motherfucking AUTHOR AND PUNISHER! Get a load of what this guy is all about:

What a freak.
Then, the following Friday, @ The First Church of The Buzzard in Oakland:

CRUCIFIXION (impossible to Google)

Be there.
Then Apocryphon plays with Cerebrate (from Eureka) and Bone Sickness (ex-Funerot, Olympia, WA) at The Elbo Room Saturday, May 19th.
Then the mighty DALTON has a show at an art opening for our pal Ben Venom (remember him?) at Guerrero Gallery in SF with our bros Hazzard's Cure on June 9th.
Then Dalton is playing an epic "Rock and Roll Bro-B-Q/Fucking In Tents Fest" camp-out type thing in Half Moon Bay with Total BS (they're a Bob Seger cover band), Beer Drinkers and Hell Raisers (they're a Zed Zed Topp cover band), Chablis, Bar Fight, and Girl Problems on June 16th. We might even get a mechanical bull for this one. Seriously.
Then Apocryphon is playing in Eureka Thursday, June 28th (local bands and venue TBA).
Then Apocryphon is playing at Slabtown in Portland Friday, June 29th (local bands TBA).
Then Apocryphon is playing The Kraken (formerly Galway Arms) in Seattle Saturday, June 30th (local bands TBA).
And then...

That's right, motherfuckers. Apocryphon with Anhedonist, Grave Miasma, Vastum, and fucking DEAD CONGREGATION at the Oakland Metro Friday, July 6th.

More summer shows to be announced in the near future. Meanwhile...

Check out IllCon Radio tonight for an interview with the porn-soaked YouTube enigma known as The Spelunker, whose Smut Cave videos were previously featured on the blog RIGHT HERE. Tune in to at 10 pm PST, and J.O. into the vortex with us!

"unfortunately terms like 'tin foil hats' may be amusing but serve the purpose to discredit conspiracies before fact 1 has even been looked at. Well done for being patronising (sacracsm)"

- some guy commenting on my episode of Hand Ov Doom


Aegipan said...

Whew! I'm glad I wasn't caught up in any of those photos taken at the Alibi show. That would have been embarrassing! Shit.

Seriously though, hands down bro, that was one of the better shows I've seen in some time up here in these hills... You even managed to scare off some of the die-hard hippies I think (there's been less dog-poo on the sidewalks since then at least).

Shelby Cobras said...

I've we scare off just ONE hippie, we've done our job. Thanks, man.

Jason said...

Why was your Vallejo show cancelled? Were you busted as part of the Thizz Nation drug ring? No need to be shamed man. Whatever it takes to keep IllCon and Apocryphon floating.

Cory said...

Smut Cave bailed on tonight's show.

Shelby Cobras said...

He certainly did. And Vallejo is a funny story, tune in tonight to hear it!

Nekromantis said...

"The horror! The horror!" -Kurtz

Anonymous said...

Mighty salute to Crucifixion for using the old (not the oldest, though) Sepultura logo look.

Blogger said...

Hey Everyone,

Below are the most recommended bitcoin exchange services (BUY/SELL):
Coinbase: $1 minimum exchange

Get free BITCOINS with the best BITCOIN faucet rotator:
BTC Faucet Rotator