Saturday, April 21, 2012

When drawing goes wrong pt1

You may have seen those worst album cover lists going round on all the other, slightly less cool websites? Well I have been collecting my own bad album artwork for some time now and would like to present my findings in the first of not so often series. Despite a lot of these being anatomically incorrect I believe there is a certain charm present.


Its pretty easy to poke fun at metal art like this. Lets move on.


Bitches Sin showing a complete lack of respect for art history.


What makes this one so bad is the look of puzzlement on the barbarian's face. Or maybe its the sudden realisation of the situation he's in. Or the terrible font choice.


I spent 5 years at art college. The first lesson they ever taught us was that smudging is no substitute for shading. Druid's artist buddy obviously never attended art college.


I always feel bad about ragging on Pantera ( which I often do) but then I think of this cover and the feeling passes.


More recently we have this monstrosity. You would think with the obvious money this band have available for artwork and design they would try and avoid the "Amiga 500 game artwork" vibe the artist seemed to be going for.


I love Vision Of Disorder. But this cover still blows to this day. I have tried to work out what the theme was or how it links with the music. Always drawn a blank.


I sort of like this one. I don't know if its the homeless, crackhead criminal with his tattered shirt or the young lady enjoying the sunset unawares that does it for me.


This album actually contains some pretty sweet, pump up, montage-esque, Miami Vice jams. Sadly I don't know anyone that would want Russ Ballard leaping at them in 3D or even in real life. You didn't even get 3D glasses with it.


I can just imagine the brief for this one "The devil emerging from his cave/lava pit and trying to grab a flying horse." Pretty specific and I am pretty sure that's what they got by the look of this. This is actually my desktop background now.


Obviously there is nothing slightly wimpy about this cover other than the ink started running out as they where finishing the nude dude's torso shading.


All that is missing are the obvious lines on the A4 paper it was drawn on.


I had this written of as some terrible 7th generation nu-metal band going of this cover. Sadly, during this research I found out its a German Avenged Sevenfold covers band. I would like to think they have some concept of why a Werewolf is dressed like one of The Blues Brothers and running along the highway in the rain. But I really doubt that.


What makes this bad is the fact its got the Waking The Cadaver font at the top. Otherwise this would be a pretty sweet image. But the sudden association with terrible gore/slam/death malarky means it is relegated to bad artwork corner


Every one's favourite industrial elf surely knew this was a stinker from the get go. I don't know if this has any relation the the film/TV series of the same name or why he has chosen to show himself floating with a glowing aura. Completely unrelated, I remember hearing a story about Mortiis trying to hail a cab outside his record companies office when this album was out. They wouldn't stop so he was forced to walk the streets in full costume.

TO BE CONTINUED......

14 comments:

Anonymous said...

implying gore/slam/death is ever terrible

Nothing Left Inside said...

Death metal is sweet. Waking The Cadaver is terrible.

Spookywolffe said...

Night.
On.
Brocken.

Jason said...

Fuck that Predator album cover is so awesome! I like how those guys are scuzzy enough to make clear that by Predator, they mean sexual predator.

Sid Sings (1979) said...

Man, if you want scuzzy nothing says scuzzy like the cover of Child Of the Storm by Black Tears which has a bit of a Scorpions thing going on.

I was fully expecting to see Final Genocide by Dissection in here but I guess that it was too awesome. Dissection from Canada, not Sweden BTW.

Jason said...

@Sid: That Black Tears album cover is beyond scuzzy. Think that's pretty much pedophile business there.

Nekromantis said...

I liked/found charming every cover besides Waking the Cadaver, Russ Ballard, Downspirit, and Bitch's Sin (shame on you lads!) covers. That Druid cover is one of my all time favourites!

XopheX said...

http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-lvNo-lLvaNw/T2NMjG2ByzI/AAAAAAAAB7s/8vzNwWf4r9c/s1600/Dokken+-+Long+Way+Home.jpg

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/e/e7/Dokken_-_Hell_to_Pay.jpg

Steven said...

@ Spookywolffe - That's exactly what I was thinkinh, fine '80's metal record that it is...

Shelby Cobras said...

That Mortiis album cover is one of my unironic all time favorites (the music ain't half bad either). It's the human-skull codpiece that is truly the star here.

Sid Sings (1979) said...

With a pose like that it's hard to believe that they didn't attach a cable to his back to fly him over the crowd at shows.

Anonymous said...

projects in the jungle!!

Nekromantis said...

Behold..

http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_66P8ussx5-s/R-Vt22uZ24I/AAAAAAAAClg/sdVujfDCNp0/s400/akila.jpg

Jason said...

That Pantera cover looks like it got its inspiration from the side or tailgate of a van. Or free airbrushing from some carny in Bumfuck, Texas.