Thursday, April 12, 2012

Doritos FUCK GOD 2K12

Isopods mackin on nacho flave is an internet CLASSIQUE!!!!

Why are Doritos so good? I don't know.

Most fat internet metal nerds like to eat Doritos and drink Mountain Dew but not us. Nope. At IllCon HQ "Mountain Don't" (lol) is a strict forbidden no no cuz it makes us fat and ruins our teeth. But Doritos are different because they are special.

Our favorites here at the HQ were Doritos Late Night: Tacos @ Midnight. These have been discontinued and we are really sad :(

They have a new kind of Doritos called DORITOS JACKED. Like pumped up crazy strong Doritos, bro.

Let's talk about what The Doritos Company is doing to make their chips appeal to younger eaters.

South By South West is a special musical festival created by Texas Instruments (inventors of the Speak and Spell) where brogrammers and fans of buzz bands alike get together to make killer apps while watching indie music bands. Doritos made a stage there for their new JACKED line of chips. It looks like a vending machine. Much like the one found in the Illcon HQ office.

This funnie little guy played on the stage with a hip brogrammer band called "White Denim" and he says they are "energy chips."

Taco Bell is also dipping their wick into the Dorito game with their Locos Tacos.
Please tell us your Locos Tacos story in the comments section of this blog post.

This is us eating Locos Tacos looking hella fucking hard before our podcast.

Do you remember the Dorito mystery flavor conspiracy?

Here is my favorite weird ass Dorito bag:

Lol Wut? I'll have foot in balls flavor please.

Can someone tell me what these Latino metal Dorito bros are talking about? I don't understand Mexican lol.


Shelby Cobras said...

I think you just revolutionized IllCon bro. This is some masterful literature.

PS I speak Mexican pretty good, I think they were talking about that episode of Friendship Is Magic where Twilight Sparkle and her friends have to get a sleeping dragon to stop blowing smoke over Ponyville.

Shelby Cobras said...

haha lol jk haha

Jason said...

Spicy Nacho flavor is superior to all others, even Tapatio flavor. Salsa y Limon isn't to far behind though.

Doritos taco shells=cool

Doritos Taco Flavor=not cool

Fuck Cool Ranch. Not cool at all.

Cory said...

ugh how did i forget to touch on tapatio flavor :(

Jason said...

You can always do a follow-up post on Doritos. As one can never have enough delicious Doritos, one can never have enough Doritos blog posts.

It's important to continue these contributions to the Doritos community.

Shelby Cobras said...

Cool Ranch is fucking delicious, the Tapatio experiment was fully botched. I am also a huge fan of anything from the 'Late Night' Doritos line, especially 'Tacos At Midnight'. Anyone remember the Monterey Jack flavor that popped up a couple years ago? I'm pretty sure I enjoyed it, although it was reeeaaaally weird.

.chester said...

Finally, some true Doritos connaisseurs who are able to appreciate the finer points of the humble, yet delicious Dorito. Doritos only come in Nacho Cheese and Hot Corn flavors in my butthole of a country, sadly.

Know that I envy you.

Shelby Cobras said...

"Hot Corn" is the name of Cory's new solo project.

Anonymous said...

they came out with sour cream and onion doritos for like a week, now i cant find them anywhere! they are so fuckin good.

BILLONEY! said...

I can't eat them because of the MSG, and I'm not talking about The Michael Schenker Group.

Radish said...

That X-13 flavor tasted like McDonald's hamburgers, which is to say they tasted strongly of pickles. Sounds gross but I thought it was great.

In So-Cal there is (was?) a flavor called Ranchero that tasted like carne asada. So killer.

Cory said...

I love Billoney so much

Cheryl Lynn said...

The first time I heard of the Dorito taco shells, was right after the Metal Alliance tour that happened to be on Easter sunday. I was eating dinner with a vegan and the commercial came on.

David Bauwens said...

Those dudes on the Japanese Dorito bag are Pierre and Jonathan, two taitsu-kun ("boys in tights") characters created by some Japanese phone company. This particular bag has a black pepper & salt flavor, and if I'm reading it correctly there's also some bamboo-charcoal (?) mixed in. The big type reads 電気アンマ復活 (denki-anma fukkatsu): Electromassage Revival. Nothing out of the ordinary here..