Friday, June 1, 2012

When drawing goes wrong pt2.

I am going to put it out there and say that it was pretty sweet seeing the level of response to the previous bad artwork post. Then the remedial prison, rehabilitation art ball rolled into the MS Paint album covers post, which we all agree was beyond awesome. To quote the head honcho, " we have the best goddamn motherfucking readers on the entire Internet, you guys rule."
On that slushy note, here is another selection of some of my favourite "bad art" album covers. Once again. Despite a complete lack of art skill and in some cases complete lack of human anatomy, I do hold a certain level of respect for these awesome images.

Pretty obvious what these guys think about all the time isn't it? I can wager it isn't being in a band.

God bless the Scorpions for consistently proving themselves to be guitar wielding numb skulls of the highest order. I have a slight bit of respect for the German chumps over the fact that when it comes to making some sort of statement, The Scorpions are always going to express it at a unbelievably low level of both class and awareness. With Animal Magnetism they surpassed themselves and wouldn't manage to beat it until 1996 when they hit us with this guy.....

See what I mean, deep stuff.

Future barbarian, biker, outlaw judge? Who knows but Battle Axe. They charged into the art the same way they approach they're sweet metal jams. With more enthusiasm than skill.

I really dig this one. Its just an awesome image. Plain and simple. Of course maybe the artist wasn't exactly up to the job but I am letting it slide.

It was mentioned last time so here it is. I never thought I would say this but Metal Magic really was a step up for these guys after Projects In The Jungle.

Karisma with a "K". Pretty sure that's a rabid walrus either escaping from some kind of imprisonment or just hanging out. Awesome.

Yes, that is a skull faced nudist raising a severed penis above its head atop a volcano. Thanks for noticing.

Everyones favourite NWOBHM never was's prove that you shouldn't fear evil. Fear death and badly drawn skulls instead.

Some evil, Christ baiting black metal? No? Oh sorry my mistake. You look like your having far to much fun at camp to be actual black metallers. She most certainly is having far to much fun streaking for Satan.

You shouldn't really expect too much when diving into the putrid trough of goregrind/pornogrind nonsense, its meant to be offensive. But this certainly plumbs some stinky depths.

Another one mentioned last time and its a cracker. Really what can you say about this? 
Once again, Any of you guys want to throw some more into the ring? We are open to suggestions for any you can think of to top these.


Anonymous said...

awsome! but Iron Maiden Dance of death is missing, why?

Nothing Left Inside said...

Its far too easy slating bad Photoshop stuff. That's a whole other post.

Anonymous said...

The Scorpions have a long and storied history of truly awful album covers. Remember the one with the woman with bubble gum stuck to her tit? Plus they really, really suck balls.

purplerainingblood said...

I recently read that the bass player for the Scorpions claimed to have attended a snuff party that cost $100,000 to get into. That said, it's not surprising their album covers look like they do.

Sid Sings (1979) said...

"Another one mentioned last time and its a cracker. Really what can you say about this?"

The less the better.

Nekromantis said...

Holy shit! Borborygmus - Diarrhea of Anne Frank might just take the cake of the most tasteless art work for album cover ever! It's kind of good in a way that it's manages to be so offending without doing the typical mutilation/sex thing that you see in goregrind/pornogrind so often but jesus!

ido said...

Have really enjoyed this series! Personally, the Pantera ones tend to take the cake for me. Just so much going on with the artwork that just doesn't work.

I have a few I've noticed over the years.

1) Blood and Roses: "Enough is Never Enough"
- not a bad record. but not the best choice for cover.

2) Blood and Roses: "Some Like It Hot"
- again. the whole composition and execution of the drawing is just... confusing.

3) Devil Must Be Driven Out With Devil
- this is a kick ass thrash punk comp. definitely recommend seeking it out. but why are some parts of the artwork so... bendy? I love this picture, though. Has that 12 year old, "dude, that's so rad!" charm.

4) Poison: "Open up and say ah!"
- surprised no one has mentioned this. Way too weird for its own good.

5) W.A.S.P.: "Animal:
- yep.

6) W.A.S.P.: "Blind in Texas"
- when drawing really goes wrong. entirely too busy. its like the artist tried to jam-pack it with as much stupid stuff as physically possible. can you spot everything dumb?

7) Whitesnake: "Love Hunter:
- again, surprised no one has mentioned this. lithesome young woman grinds her bare crotch into giant snake. the snakey font is icing on the misogyny cake.

8) The Beatles: "Magical Mystery Tour"
- i don't care is its historic, or sacrosanct or whatever. its fucking dumb and pointless, like a lot of their lyrics.

SoulReaper said...

Wolf's self-titled debut makes me laugh every time I think about it. I think it's supposed to look like an old-timey woodcut, but the werewolf looks startled, like you came around the corner and caught him sneaking cookies.

A bad Photoshop covers post would be hilarious. If y'all ever consider doing one, may I suggest Dimsal Euphony's Soria Moria Slott?

Nothing Left Inside said...

Wow Soul Reaper. That Dismal Euphony one is mega crap. Earache did a terrible techno/gabba/extreme metal album years ago. Can't remember the name but the cover had terrible photoshop skeletons dancing around a huge skull and some flames. Dreadful.


this is SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO awesome. the diarreah of anne frank. tastelessy brilliant

Anonymous said...

@Nothing Left Inside

Please put down words on some choice Photoshop abominations. Knowing the quality of this site I'll probably need a peebucket ready or pissing my pants. That post should be hilarious.

Anonymous said...

Great stuff.
That Buffalo album is a solid 70's rager, despite the daft cover.