By Peter Drum machine grind legends Agoraphobic Nosebleed are at it again. They recently released their fourth full length. Ever since I got my greasy mits on it its been playing non stop. This CD is a bit of a departure from previous CDs. The drums are toned down and closer to almost playable tempos. Its reminiscent of Fuck! Im Dead it in some ways. They also added a foxy new vocalist Katherine Katz. Check it out here.
Tumor Circus was a 1991 collaboration between Jello Biafra and members of Steel Pole Bathtub and Grong Grong. What I want to know is: How did they know?
The hip-hop genre has been largely neglected here on Illogical Contraption, except for the occasional shit-talking on Screamo Crunk or video featuring a Nickelodeon/Lil' Jon mashup. This just ain't right. As partial penance for this transgression, I offer the 1991 Son of Bazerk album Bazerk Bazerk Bazerk. This shit kills. The first time I heard it, I thought it was some obscure Public Enemy song that had slipped past my radar. But a couple minutes in, I realized it wasn't in fact Chuck D on vocals (although the similarity is striking). Son of Bazerk was produced by The Bomb Squad, the same team that engineered P.E.'s apocalyptic wall-of-sound, which explains the connection. S.O.B.'s audio dynamics are just as dense as intense, although Bazerk are a little more concerned with gettin' some booties shakin' than fuckin' up the government. Try bumping this record at your next house party. Then, try to keep the asses from movin'. Really. I DARE YOU.
Above: The Great Kat aka Katherine Thomas - Mistress of the Shred
In case you're unfamiliar with the inferno of violin, piano and guitar shreddery known as The Great Kat, please take a moment to educate yourself:
Now that we're all on the same page, let's get to the matter at hand. Recently, I've been recieving emails from "Karen Thomas", head of Thomas PR, media machine for The Great Kat. I'm not sure how Thomas PR got my email address, but I've written briefly about Kat here, here, here, and here, and apparently someone was paying attention. Ms. Kat has emailed at least three times to let me know about breaking Kat News, which is notable for 2 reasons: A) This is the first time anyone's PR department has treated Illogical Contraption like a feasible media outlet, and B) She is offering promotional DVDs and posters to hype her new video (SWEET!). So I've written back, requesting said promotional items. Hopefully, you all will be reading a review of the NEW Great Kat "Beethoven's Shred" DVD really soon. And Ms. Kat, if you're reading, thanks for taking the time to add Illogical Contraption to your mailing list. You rule!
Dysrhythmia plays that tripped-out, complex, weird tempo, post-whatever instrumental music school-nerd type stuff that is guaranteed to scare chicks away by the dozens. Worse yet, they've recruited this guy to play bass-itar for them since the release of Barriers And Passages. I don't know what these guys are thinking, but they're definitely tuned into some NEXT LEVEL SHIT. Check 'em out.
Guess what Illogical Contraption readers, it's spring time, and you know what that means: SPORTS, motherfuckers! That's right. Turn off the obscure metal, change that Carcass t-shirt, and crawl up out of your mom's basement. We're gonna grill some meat, pound some frosty suds, and play ALL THE AWESOME SPORTS WE CAN. It'll be the most epic thing ever.
Now, to get you in the competitive spirit, here are some choice photos from last year's Illogical Contraption Sports Extravaganza. Enjoy!
Found inside a safe-cooking manual in the kitchen of the Hotel Carter in Eureka, CA in the mid-90's. In case you were wondering, this principle is known as "Pong's Axiom #1". Definitely made a bit creepier by the unexplained brown stains on it as well.
Bonus Item A:
A panel I clipped from Dilbert somewhere in the early 90's. To me, it looks like he's jacking a ho for her purse and calling her a "snatch". Cuz that's how Dilbert rolls.
Bonus Item B:
Another panel clipped from the funny papers in the early 00's. I don't know what this looks like to YOU GUYS, but to ME it looks like a couple people surprised to find a depressed badger jerking off in their refrigerator.
I know, Cryptopsy, I know. I talked shit behind your back, which wasn't cool. But you've changed, Cryptopsy. You really have. I don't understand you anymore. And worse, I don't trust you. I mean, those first couple years were wonderful. Magical, even. Those first two albums touched me in ways no one else could. But it's different now. I don't think we should see each other anymore, Cryptopsy. I'm sorry.
I know it hurts. I really do. Let's just try to remember the GOOD times, OK?
PS: For all the non-Hessians out there, the title of this post refers to the Cryptopsy song "Depths You've Fallen", off of their third album, Whisper Supremacy. It was meant to turn Cryptopsy's own words around on them, exposing them as the sad sellouts they have become. Illogical Contraption apologizes for the bad pun. We'll try harder in the future.
The hip-hop genre has been largely neglected here on Illogical Contraption, except for the occasional shit-talking on Screamo Crunk or video featuring a Nickelodeon/Lil' Jon mashup. This just ain't right.
Now that we're all on the same page, let's get to the matter at hand. Recently, I've been recieving emails from "Karen Thomas", head of Thomas PR, media machine for The Great Kat. I'm not sure how Thomas PR got my email address, but I've written briefly about Kat here, here, here, and here, and apparently someone was paying attention. Ms. Kat has emailed at least three times to let me know about breaking Kat News, which is notable for 2 reasons: A) This is the first time anyone's PR department has treated Illogical Contraption like a feasible media outlet, and B) She is offering promotional DVDs and posters to hype her new video (SWEET!). 
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