THE HITCH - MOTORCYCLE NURSERY RHYMES (2002)

Conjuring images of chainsaws, flannel shirts, motorcycles, and long hours at the sawmill, massively-bearded Humboldt County natives The Hitch played a distinctive brand of Bro-friendly hard rock that they dubbed "Mountain Metal". Although they broke up 2 or 3 years ago, these guys enjoyed a long and fruitful reign over the Arcata metal scene, which resulted in a whole lot of spilt beer and a long-standing rivalry with my old band. You see, we were both "large fish" in a "small pond", and while The Hitch's blues-based stoner jams were more popular among chicks and frat boys, MY band was obviously superior, both musically and conceptually.
But we ALWAYS remained Bros through thick and thin, and I stay in contact with these dudes on a semi-regular basis. I'm man enough to admit now that this CD ROCKS, and I commend The Hitch on the magical, burly sounds that they created.
Cover art sucks ass, though.

A couple of Hitch Beard Facts:

1) Laid end to end, the collective Hitch beard hair would reach to the Moon and back. THREE TIMES.
2) Steve's beard has its own weather system.
3) If one were adventuresome enough to explore the INSIDE of a Hitch Beard, they would not, in fact, find a chin. They would find only ANOTHER BEARD.

Download BEARD

Below: Drunk Hitch strikes a pose with Mr. Captain Blackdawg, the ORIGINAL Pyrate Punk (he's the one with the LEAST IMPRESSIVE beard).