Wednesday, July 6, 2011

My Netflix 'Suggestions' System Is A Lazy Twat

Question: Who writes the algorithms for the Netflix "suggestion" system? I'll admit, I got bored one day and rated the shit out of a bunch of movies on Netflix (see below), hoping that it would cause the inner workings of the 'Flix to spew forth a cavalcade of obscure, awesome films for my perusal, but sadly, it has had quite the opposite effect.

Observe this recent interaction between myself and the Netflix "system":

INCOMING SUGGESTIONS:



Okay, cool. These all look like good movies. But one question, Netflix: why are they ALL based on my enjoyment of the same three films? I mean, yeah, 2001, Brazil, and Blue Velvet are all awesome, but I'm not gonna base my ENTIRE movie diet around JUST those three movies, right? What else ya got?





OK, OK. Maybe I haven't made myself entirely clear: Again, all of these movie suggestions are based on my 'enjoyment' of Blue Velvet and Clockwork Orange, but c'mon now, I've 'rated' over 2200 movies here, what else have you got?


Fucking Hell, Netflix. Again, we're back to Square One here. Blue Velvet, 2001, and Brazil are NOT the only movies in the world. I've given you so much, can't you just give me a little bit back?





Jesus fucking Christ. We've been through this already...
2200 movies. MIX IT UP a little, eh?!?!


NO.

WRONG.

Game over, Netflix. Put in another quarter.



OK, Netflix, you've made a little progress, but please note: EVERY MOVIE you've EVER recommended to me has been based, in part, on my 'enjoyment' of Blue Velvet. Yes, I DO like Blue Velvet. But that doesn't mean that EVERY movie I EVER see from now on needs to be similar to that film. Are we clear?


Apparently, we are not.

HOLY SHIT! A recommendation NOT based on my enjoyment of Blue Velvet! I've made contact! NETFLIX, IT'S ME, COBRAS! Can we move forward now?!?!?




Never mind, Netflix.

I think maybe we should see other people.


Editor's note: All screencaps were taken directly from only the FIRST page of my Netflix "suggestions" section. If any 'Flix algorithm-writers are reading this: WTF BRO?


'My Netflix Suggestions System Is A Lazy Twat' is the first in a series of posts documenting the "FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS" endured by the creators of the Illogical Contraption blog. Stay tuned for more whine and cheese in the near future!

19 comments:

Crankenstien said...

I love this shit! You are right Netflix is such a fucking headache and they base all their suggestions on Blue Velvet, nice work! I obsessively check what's new all day everyday and I find that alot I have missed are instant and like everything on the internet now,I can't find a trustworthy source that has suggestions other than myself. This blog is pretty helpful too though. http://rupertpupkinspeaks.blogspot.com/
but after rating and rating you get maybe 2 different suggestions, thats bullshit! By the way Scum is a must watch!

Pete said...

I'm in a similar boat. Most of the "suggestions" Netflix recommends or has been recommending to me as of late are based on a handful of movies, namely Capitalism: A Love Story, Fargo, and Syriana... Now, I do watch a shit-ton of documentaries but those I rate highly seem to get lost in the shuffle and thus Netflix still chooses to offer (or "suggest") ones that either I already have seen or that I couldn't give two shits about.

Netflix, you fail (for the most part).

JGD said...

slow day at casa de Cobras.

Anonymous said...

For the longest time no matter what the movies I was rating Netflix always suggested "the waterhorse".

cdg said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
cdg said...

They offered a million dollar prize a few years back to help them improve their suggestions.

You can read the whitepaper by the dudes who won the prize.

cdg said...

So, to answer your question, Yehuda Koren is to blame. He's an egghead who works for Yahoo Research. His e-mail is yehuda@yahoo-inc.com.

Anonymous said...

Hah, suburban white kids crying about not having enough Bergman on their instant queue. I watch all my shit on 35mm. U mad?

Shelby Cobras said...

cdg wins. surprisingly concise.

and you last anonymous guy: YOU OBVZ DONT UNDERSTAND THE PLIGHT OF THE SUBURBAN WHITE KID

Anonymous said...

Scum is a good movie.

Mister Booze said...

In my limited Netflix experience the suggestions are based solely on the last movie you watched. Did you watch Blue Velvet recently? I watched on anime and now every recommendation is goddamn anime.

Megan Bardens said...

You get better ideas from your friends or by just browsing around.

Jaybird said...

dude..Nerd Alert! This is Netflix talkin'..based on your love of the movie Hot Shots-Part Deux, Roadhouse, and Macgruber...spending more time slaying your woman might be a little more metal way to spend thy time..oh and nice usage of the word twat, always a classic

gooniestorm said...

hmmm.. mine seems to base everything on "pee-wee's big adventure", "the big lebowski" and "the devil's backbone"... also it constantly suggests really terrible music videos because i gave that ramones documentary 5 stars...

Reginald said...

I really aughta sign up for a netfilx thingo, the only good video rental store in my state is around 10 kilometres away, which is like 6 miles and a bunch of yards. My yard is like 30 metres or something, man. Who has a twelve inch foot? Yeah, i=I should sign up to netflix.

Reginald said...

Man, I think I fucked that shit up, man.

Anonymous said...

that's why I rate movies I like 1 star. Then it'll tell you to watch gay Bollywoood flicks..which works for me.

The Thing That Should Not Be said...

hehehehehe.....an American said 'twat'....hehehehehe.

Anonymous said...

Your pony being stolen is the opposite of a first world problem.