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MEDIEVAL DEMON - DEMONOLATRIA (1995)

Amy Winehouse?

Y'all remember Helm's epic fucking post on Greek black metal from the 90's, right? Well, Medieval Demon would fit in rather well with the assortment of bands on said compilation, although I'm sure Helm would have something to say about the quality of their shred. Long story short: Medieval Demon is some simple, straightforward, Ancient Queen-era Emperor worship, punctuated every other track by extended atmospheric keyboard passages. Like IC favorites Mystic Circle, Medieval Demon can't seem to play two actual songs in a row, instead choosing to fuck with the cohesive flow of an otherwise solid (if overly "raw") BM album with a bunch of candle-lit psuedo-classical vampire bullshit. Which isn't necessarily a BAD thing -- I dig the corny extended Moog-isms just as much (if not quite a bit more) than the next guy -- but it's off-putting enough to qualify Demonolatria as more of a "curiosity" than a "must-have". Whatever, at least it appears that they got the Cradle of Filth guy to draw their logo (see album cover). Groovy.

Download HERE or perhaps HERE

Get a load of these choads:

Myspace / Last.FM

th' INBRED: A Family Affair

At the risk of pissing off the headbanging status quo of the IllCon team/readership, I'm gonna post a few of my favourite old hardcore LPs here. They're all distinctive (for me) in that, for one reason or another, I feel they haven't received the general recognition that they deserve. Not to say that any of these records are obscure or rare, just that they are amazing albums that changed my life, and haven't gotten the love that so many L.A, S.F, NYC, D.C. etc bands have gotten.

Like I said, these aren't bands from Tamanrasset, Algeria that you've never heard of, but they do RULE - each and every one of them. So, hopefully there's one or two readers out there that haven't heard these yet, and will be turned on to their absolute shreddingness.


First up is West Virginia's th' INBRED with their incredible A Family Affair. These guys always struck me for their similar attitude to the punk/hardcore scene as the UK band Rudimentary Peni. Like RP, they were pretty vocal about the stupidity of a movement that preached non-conformism and revolution, while simultaneously wallowing in it's own set of rigid mores, fashions and idiotic rules.

Musically, A Family Affair is built on a solid foundation of ripping hc thrash, held together by Bill Atwell's fucking incredible drumming. However, it's on the slower "But Not For Me" and the instrumentals "Exercise One" and "Exercise Three" that they really show their chops. Although the two "Exercise" tracks were allegedly inspired by Greg Ginn's instrumental experimentations in Flag and Gone, I hear some later UK Subhumans (Worlds Apart in particular) in both songs.

The only thing wrong with this LP is the production. It's not great, but with a little level fiddling it can sound really good. All their stuff (one 7'', two LPs) has been reissued by Alternative Tentacles. Buy it HERE. An awesome interview with their bassist Duff can be found here, and is well worth the read. Thanks to KFTH for the pics and interview...

DL HERE

WINO WORSHIP

AND THE SUMMER OF METAL CONTINUES:

I'm fully stoked on seeing Vitus for the second time this year, and once again they are playing with total bros, so hopefully this time I'll get to meet the great god Wino (Zack and Shane I'm looking at you buddies-hook me up).

Scott "Wino" Weinrich is a bad ass. Not to mention a stone cold fox. He's been in the Doom metal scene for 30 some odd years cranking out stellar tunes that would shape lives, minds and biceps. I've heard he's a total sweetheart too.

I know that most of you already have all of this, I'm not posting anything new here. But if there's new readers, well...all of the below records are great "doom humping" music. In fact-go to the show, meet a hot piece of ass, smoke them out, buy them a drink, invite them back to your pad to listen to other "doom bone" delights and do it. You know what I mean by "it". It'll work, I swear to god. Just forget that you have to work the next morning.

Here's the 3 Wino studio full lengths:

Born Too Late (1987)
Download HERE





Mournful Cries (1988):
HERE




V (1989)
HERE







Shrinebuilder-S/T (2009) HERE. Wait, did you see Shrinebuilder earlier this year? It was epic. Let's see...Dale, Al, Scott and Wino-uh...so a collaborative between band members of the Melvins, Sleep, Om, Neurosis, Saint Vitus, etc?!?! This is great post-doom-coital music. It's spiritual. When you've finally reached your point of exhaustion, laying there wrapped up in eachother and still sweating...throw on this album, smoke a fat one and drift off into outer space.




Wino- Punctuated Equilibrium (2009)-HERE: Solo album by Wino. Maybe I smoke too much weed, but I'm into it. Here's a line from "Release Me"...“I dreamed last night of making love in the sky / On a gray stone cloud, in a hurricane’s eye — so high!” Dude, I had that dream too Wino!! We were meant to be.




Hey you ever seen that sweet ass documentary "Such Hawks Such Hounds" ??? Dude, it has all kinds of bands from Black Sabbath, Pentagram, Saint Vitus, Earthless, The Obsessed, Sir Lord Baltimore ETC ETC ETC the list goes on and your boner keeps getting bigger and harder. (Woops...I knew that was gonna come out at some point) Well, you can download it HERE on this little blog or BUY it even, why the hell not its totally worth the money. Just call your doctor if your boner doesn't go away within 6 hours. Here's Wino talking about life, love and music from his garden:




Cool, yeah...hope you all are having a rad summer.

SINISTER - CROSS THE STYX (1992)

As brutal and vicious as just about anything else on the market in 1992. Cross The Styx reminds me alot of Dreaming With The Dead as far as drum work and guitar tone, but the vocals are definitely more "Europe" than "Florida/Jersey". This South Holland quartet has been pumping out rock solid demos and full-length albums (this was "officially" their first) since 1990, interrupted only by a brief breakup from 2003-'05. Why doesn't Sinister get more props? Fuckers.

Check out an old Sinister double feature HERE.

Download Styx HERE
Purchase HERE

Myspace / Last.FM

Nothing Says "Subtlety" Like Surra de Bunda

OK, we've all seen "Surra De Bunda" (which translates, by contrasting accounts, as "butt beat", "ass-licking", or "butt-pounding") videos by now, butt let's take another minute or two to admire this new Brazilian dance craze's nuances, subtlety, and subdued hints of sexuality.









Such elegance, such mysterious femininity...

A true art form.

Hey look I got you a new Blogger avatar!

THE THIRD EYE-AWAKENING

(good tunes, awful cover)

So a while back I posted some of my favorite bands from my country and here we have another. This one falls somewhere in between a lot of genres (psych, rock and roll, folk, etc) you know I just call it LASAGNA. Anyways, I've been rocking this for days...it's another gem.

Ever find yourself cooking Moroccan stew, listening to Sam Gopal and smoking the reef non stop? Obviously you've officially become a complete hippy. If your a dirty hippy you'd probably enjoy these crunchy chooglin' ass ditties. If you're not a hippy you probably hate me right now.

This band consisted of a brother and sister; and I don't know about you but I NEVER would have let my little brother be in my super cool band. Ron Selby didn't mind so much considering his fourteen year old sister was a total bad ass at the keys. She ripped it up hardcore and could have competed with the likes of John Lord at the time. Anyways, the album starts off pretty slow and acoustic hippy like but the 2nd instrumental track "Selby's Hospital" totally rules.

(Fucking hippies. Where are your birkenstocks?!?!)

Download HERE:

IRON LUNG / TEEN CTHULHU - TENTACLED BREATHING (Split 7", 2001)

A completely fucking solid split EP from the beginning of the last decade, featuring two bands I've had the pleasure of sharing the stage with on a couple of different occasions. Seven and a half minutes of crippling shred, packing more intensity into this tiny package than most bands could in an hour.


First off: Iron Lung. This band is fucking FUCKREAL. Two-piece, just ripping drums and a maelstrom of herky-jerky guitar antics. Donald Duck vocals, Cookie Monster vocals, a wall of noise, a chaotic monument to absolute annihilation. Their contribution to this 7" is the larger one, four songs clocking in at just over four minutes.

More Iron Lung: 2004's Life. Iron Lung. Death. on IC. ESSENTIAL.

Wikipedia / Last.FM


Side B, Teen Cthulhu: A spazzy, grindy, punk-infused black metal onslaught which crept undetected from the deepest forests of western Washington, rearing its head only briefly before disappearing altogether into the darkest chasms of heavy metal obscurity. Keyboard hooks, shrieked choruses about smoking weed and killing yourself, and wait, what's this? .... humor? On a black metal record? The briefer of the two entries, Teen Cthulhu deposits four songs herein as well, although their half adds up to just over three minutes of frantic violence. I miss this band.

More Teen Cthulhu: 2002's Ride The Blade on Cosmic Hearse. YOU NEED.

Myspace / Last.FM


The split: Get it? Tentacled Breathing? Download HERE.

"EXPERIENCER"

This is Pamela Stonebrooke, "The Intergalactic Diva".
In the early-to-mid 90's, Pamela "went public" with the fact that she had been boning it to reptilian space aliens. She recorded an album (above) dedicated to said encounters, and appeared as a guest on Coast To Coast AM to discuss her adventures in space-humping.
You can listen to her album Experiencer, streaming in its entirety, on Napster. I'm not going to upload it, because it sucks. But you should check out her website. Really you should. Even disinformation.com is down with Pam! Check out a detailed account of her hot lizard-on-jazz singer bone sesh right here: "Alien Lizard Jazz Goddess". Damn.
Pamela Stonebrooke's message is clear: dICKEheads like this guy and this guy are giving shapeshifting reptilian extraterrestrials a bad name. All they want to do is make some sweet love to us, baby. Preferably while listening to some totally rad smooth jazz jams. Lounge lizards indeed.

Below: PINDAR gets his fuck on. BAM BAM BAM!


Pamela Stonebrooke, "Alien":



Did I mention that Ms. Stonebrooke also enjoyed a brief film career? Take, for instance, her supporting role as "Charlene" in 1981's Saturday The 14th:



Now, I've never actually seen this movie, but needless to say, it's the type of film that instantly gives me a huge nonsexual boner. See also: 1988's Saturday The 14th Strikes Back (with Pam reprising her role as Charlene just a couple years before she started hooking up with RILFs). Epic:



You know what else gives me a huge nonsexual boner? FUCKING POWER QUEST!



What were we talking about again?

IRON MAIDEN - MAIDEN VOYAGE (1969)

In honor of Eddie & Co.'s triumphant slaying of Concord, CA's awesomely-named Sleep Train Pavilion last evening (I didn't go), I present today the only known recording from the other Iron Maiden, who also hailed from Merry Olde England and played a much stonier, mellowed-out brand of semi-hard psych. Also going by the names "Bum" (as in "British ass") and "Growth", this Maiden is informally known as "Bolton Iron Maiden", although the issue is further complicated by the existence of YET ANOTHER "Iron Maiden" who appeared in the late 60's and go by "THE Bolton Iron Maiden". Whatever. Not really worth all the confusion.
What we have here is a pretty standard recording for 1969. Not overly heavy or mind-blowing in any way, sometimes sloppy and even a little out of tune, Maiden Voyage went unreleased until 1998, and while it is a mildly interesting listen, psych nerds like this and this will most likely be popping boners over it for the rest of eternity. Posthumous attempts at categorizing Maiden Voyage-Maiden as some sort of pioneering "doom rock" act are common but misguided. Don't kid yourself. This is some straight-up, herb-smoking, hippie groove -- NOT METAL AT ALL. Anyone claiming otherwise is attempting to connect this band, falsely, with their better-known namesake. The similarities run no deeper than the name.

THIS "Iron Maiden"
The OTHER "Bolton Maiden"
Some company that makes shoes that is also apparently called "Iron Maiden"

Download HERE

IRON MAIDEN Iron Maiden (artist's approximation)

LOGICAL NONSENSE - SOUL POLLUTION (1998)

Six dudes from New Mexico who formed a band together in their teens and proceeded to create some of the most rippin' hardcore the 90's had to offer. IllCon shared their 1993 debut album Deadtime almost a year ago, followed by their second release Expand The Hive (in a double feature with the almighty WORD SALAD) back in January. Might as well bring it full circle, right? Here's their third and final album, a ferocious, grinding mindfuck of epic proportions known as Soul Pollution. Fans of stuff like El Dopa, early Neurosis, and Artimus Pyle, please take note.

Download HERE

Purchase HERE

Myspace / Last.FM

PARLIAMENT - FIRST THANGS (1970)

By Del Tigre



No introduction is necessary, as there is nothing before you but thang.

1. Red Hot Mama
2. Come In Out Of The Rain
3. Fantasy Is Reality
4. Breakdown
5. Loose Booty
6. Unfinished Instrumental
7. I Call My Baby Pussycat
8. Put Love in Your Life
9. Little Old Country Boy
10. Moonshine Heather
11. Oh Lord, Why Lord/Prayer
12. My Automobile
13. There Is Nothing Before Me But Thang
14. Funky Woman
15. Livin' The Life
16. Silent Boatmen
Download

See also:
Best of The Parliaments, which I've been rocking for days, and what is, by far, my finest hour on Illogical Contraption

DON'T CALL IT A "MIXTAPE": SUMMER 2010

(No Limit Records artwork from the 90's as interpreted by Illogical Contraption)

As some of you may remember, Manslaughter posted a psych-rock "Summer Mix" back here. But technically, TODAY is the first day of summer -- which is ironic, considering the thick layer of shitty fog currently blanketing the Bay Area. I posted a "Spring Non-Mixtape" right here and a "Winter Non-Mixtape" right here, let's welcome the season with a double-dose of ill jams this time around, culled in its entirety from the oft-neglected hip-hop genre. That's correct, my friends: there's no better soundtrack to summer fun cruising with the top down than the phat beats and dope rhymes you will find herein. 42 songs clocking in at two and a half hours, each volume carefully formatted to fit comfortably into the confines of the archaic "compact disc" medium. Not a "complete study" on rap music by any stretch of the imagination, but a pretty accurate cross-section of what Professor Cobras has been bumpin' lately. Enjoy Shit Witch or Die Frying, IllCon's guide to guns, money, and ho's.


VOLUME ONE (Shit Witch) (1:19:21, 117.9 MB)

1. KOOL KEITH - Intro
2. GZA - 4th Chamber
3. IMMORTAL TECHNIQUE and a bunch of other dudes - Peruvian Cocaine
4. BUSDRIVER - Neva Bite The Hand That Serves
5. AESOP ROCK - No Regrets
6. COMPANY FLOW - Collude/Interlude
7. MYSTIKAL - Unpredictable
8. GRAVEDIGGAZ - Constant Elevation
9. DR. OCTAGON - Blue Flowers
10. MR. LIF - Earthcrusher
11. PUBLIC ENEMY - You're Gonna Get Yours
12. CAPPADONNA - Splish Splash
13. LORD HAVE MERCY feat. D.V. alias KHRIST - Holy Water
14. ILLOGIC feat. AESOP ROCK - Time Capsule
15. ICE CUBE - How To Survive In South Central
16. DAS EFX - Straight Out The Sewer
17. GHOSTFACE KILLA feat. JADAKISS - Run
18. CANIBUS - The Goetia (thanks abdul)
19. BUSTA RHYMES - Everything Remains Raw
20. KING TEE & E-SWIFT - Do Ya Like St. Ides?
21. GETO BOYS - Fuck 'Em
22. BLACK SHEEP - U Mean I'm Not

DOWNLOAD



VOLUME TWO (Die Frying) (1:19:27, 104.3 MB)

1. THE NOTORIOUS B.I.G. - Ten Crack Commandments (thanks RyGar)
2. MR. LIF - Live From The Plantation
3. DEAD PREZ - They Schools
4. AESOP ROCK - Big Bang
5. SON OF BAZERK - The Band Gets Swivey On The Wheels
6. ILLOGIC - Sand
7. KUTMASTA KURT feat. KOOL KEITH & MOTION MAN - We All Over
8. GRAVEDIGGAZ - Nowhere To Run, Nowhere To Hide
9. PUBLIC ENEMY - By The Time I Get To Arizona
10. THE WEATHERMEN - 10 Times
11. OL' DIRTY BASTARD - Protect Ya Neck II The Zoo
12. NWA - Straight Outta Compton
13. WORD A MOUTH - Famous Last Words
14. BUSDRIVER - Imaginary Places
15. KOOL KEITH - Make Up Your Mind
16. CANNIBAL OX - Raspberry Fields
17. THA ALKAHOLIKS - Only When I'm Drunk
18. ICE T - Lethal Weapon
19. GETO BOYS w/ ICE CUBE - 5th Ward/South Central Malt
20. CRISPIN HELLION GLOVER - Auto-Manipulator

DOWNLOAD

PARROTHEADHUNTER

Not even funny anymore.

I decided to stop making fun of Juggalos a long time ago. Like I said before, it's just TOO FUCKING EASY. In a way, I almost feel sorry for our hatchet-wielding brethren. It can't really be 100% their fault, right? Poor education, Fetal Alcohol Syndrome, regional isolation, poor life choices, and peer pressure must all be contributing factors to some extent, and, while ICP's semi-coherent, subliterate attempts at "rapping" are FAR from the best music in the world (REALLY FUCKING FAR), I can think of worse things. Far worse.
But the music-snob blogoshpere needs a boogieman, right? We need a completely bass-ackwards music subculture to bag on to reinforce our own sterling tastes and convictions, don't we? Of course we do.
Well, lucky for you, there's an oft-overlooked subculture out there absolutely deserving of every ounce of scorn and derision we can dump on them, a sect of tasteless, comfortable, upper-middle class douchewands so devoid of dignity, so devoid of class, that one need not feel the slightest bit of shame when shitting all over them. Move over, Mr. Juggalo.

I give you "The Parrothead".

Urbandictionary.com describes the Parrothead thusly: "A Parrothead is a fan of Jimmy Buffett (there is no other meaning). The typical parrothead is pictured to wear a Hawaiian shirt, flip-flops, and other tropical attire, and to enjoy drinking margaritas on the beach. Parrotheads often decorate their homes in tropical motifs. In general the life of a parrothead is one of relaxation and being on a permanent mental vacation even while at work."

Parrotheads, like Juggalos, divide themselves into regional groups and/or clubs, believing that "strength in numbers" justifies their dedication to a cult-like figure devoid of any trace of talent or personality. In fact, according to the "official" Parrothead website Parrotheads In Paradise, there are over 200 Parrothead Club Chapters, including 9 in Canada and one in Australia. The Juggalo parallels are obvious. Parrotheads dress up in garish costumes when attending concerts and flock to Key West for their annual "gathering". Juggalos go to "Shangri-La" when they die. Parrotheads go to "Parrotdise".

Give me your keys, Terry.

A Jimmy Buffet concert is a wretched hive of scum and villainy every bit as horrifying as an ICP concert. I can tell you firsthand, as I have witnessed the aftermath of just such a gathering on more than one occasion. Drunken housewives stumbling about in a haze of stoned obsolescence, leaning on their fat, comfortable, obnoxious Republican husbands -- Weekend Warriors in the foulest sense of the term, doomed to a life of boredom and mindless consumerism punctuated by only the cheapest of "thrills". Foul, foul creatures.
Parrotheads are every bit as despicable as the dread Juggalo -- more so, in fact. Parrotheads are Deadheads with corporate jobs, older and dumber than Juggalos, richer and more obese with an endless thirst for margaritas and Corona. And don't even get me started on that hilarious "Cheeseburger In Paradise" chain. HAW HAW! They took a metaphor and made it literal! HAW HAW!
You might argue that Juggalos have Parrotheads beat on the tattoo front. But wait a second:


------------------------------------




-------------------------------------







That's right. Parrotheads are the new Juggalos. And by "new Juggalos", I mean "old Juggalos". Sure, Jimmy Buffet might not have the pathetic cadre of coattail-riding "opening bands" that ICP does ((Hed)P.E., Coolio, Kittie, etc...), but I'll tell you what he DOES have: COVER BANDS. That's right, The Coral Reefer Band (GET IT! HAW HAW!) has inspired a legion of pretenders, among them Garratt Wilkin & The Parrotheads and Davey & The Waverunners ("fronted by Davey Werkhiser fron the popular 80's band Magnum!"). It's a dark, sick, depressing world that these Parrotheads live in.

God, how I hate them.

Are Carrot Top fans called Carrotheads? Does Carrot Top HAVE fans?

Jimmy Buffett concert or Tea Party rally?

Personal vendetta? Possibly.
But I urge you all to join me in the mass mockery and rejection of Parrothead culture, if only as a symbolic gesture of disgust toward the flaccid "art" of Jimmy Buffett and his represenation of all things, lazy, stupid, and gaudy in American culture.
I might be done with Juggalos, but I'm just getting started on the fucking Parrotheads. These sick fucks have dwelt in comfort and boozy, suburban satisfaction long enough. Let's kick their sorry asses all the way back to Margaritaville.
ICP: dismissed.
Buffett: Let's fucking do this.

In conclusion, A MESSAGE FOR JIMMY BUFFETT himself:


(Thanks, Jon)

RODNEY DANGERFIELD - NO RESPECT (1980)

Shameful admission: sometimes I need a little break from metal. It's true, and I apologize in advance for the enormous public outcry that is sure to ensue. But hey, I write about (and listen to) metal during the day, I play metal in the evenings, and (lately, at least) I've been writing metal (music) in the late evenings and on weekends. Every once in a while, I need to step back, take a deep breath, and put some Ice Cube on my iPod to decompress. That's life. False and umgrim, I know, but this is REAL TALK, my friends.

Recently, in one of these non-metal phases, I've rediscovered the joys of stand-up comedy. Bill Hicks, David Cross, and pre-preachy George Carlin have all found their way into my daily listening routine, along with that one Steven Wright album and TONS of Richard Pryor. It's fucking funny, OK? In a world where one must endure stuff like THIS and THIS on a day-to-day basis, a good laugh can really help keep that shotgun barrel out of your mouth. Don't judge me.
In fact, rather than judging me, maybe you should enjoy some stand-up brilliance yourself, to see where I'm coming from.
Might as well start at the top.

I get no respect, I tell ya.

Download HERE