TO ALL MY FRIENDSHIP BUDDIES:

Wow. Sure has been awhile, eh guys?
My bad. Anyhow, Ol' Uncle Cobras is back, with lots of updates and exciting news for the IllCon Universe. I hope you guys can forgive me for my long absence, I've been super busy Gangnam-styling, watching Iggy Azalea videos, jerking off to presidential debates, rocking out to Slayer with my cat, and taking part in all sorts of illicit, undisclosed activities which are best not discussed here. Add a shitty update to the Blogger template system and multiple suspensions of my vast and untraceable Mediafire accounts, and you've got quite a recipe for overall inactivity and frustration from your favorite blogger (me) on your favorite site (this one). Pathetic. Just pathetic.

But hey, I ain't here to sweat the petty shit. I'm here to pet the sweaty shit. Illogical Contraption--while relatively slow in the Blogspot World--has been going nuts in other realms, which is what we're really here to talk about today. First and foremost, IllCon Radio has been going bananas as of late, which you would never know if you happen to download episodes off the "show archive" column over there on the right. Out of a general sense of spite toward the file-sharing world (what is it, illegal all of the sudden?), I haven't updated this page for a FULL EIGHT EPISODES, which I admit is both bogus and sad. I know lots of you dudes out there get the show that way (at least a couple hundred per episode, if Mediafire is telling the truth), so rejoice in the fact that I finally got off (on?) my ass and uploaded episodes 43-50. That's almost 16 hours of drunken fun! Have at it.

(Seriously though, you're better off just subscribing via iTunes.)

But I have not only been a chode in my weekly maintenance of new podcasts here on the old Blogspot. Mediafire, being the dick that it is, has also offed several CLASSIC episodes for whatever reason, and I've only just recently had the time and momentum to find and re-up those fuckers, too. These are actually some of our best. Please use them wisely:

#21: GENESIS P-ORRIDGE and AESOP DEKKER
#33: SAM McPHEETERS and CAPTAIN AHAB
#34: TOMMY BLACHA (CO-CREATOR OF METALOCALYPSE!)
#35: PEACHES CHRIST
#36: NO ONE IN PARTICULAR
#37: EUGENE ROBINSON and AESOP DEKKER (Can't get rid of this guy!)
#38: TIM SWARTZ and MC CRUMBSNATCHER
#39: THE GHOST GIRLS, and lastly:
#40: A DOUCHEY MARINA BRO

So I guess that means the show archive is (at present, at least) "up to date". Thanks a lot to all the readers who have gone out of their way to support the show, too. You guys are awesome!

ALSO: Two weeks ago, while I was in New York City, I had the opportunity to guest host one of my favorite podcasts, Kissing Contest. It was super fun, and Mike, Sawyer, and Doan are some down-ass bros. Subscribe to that shit NOW. They even made this sweet custom image to celebrate my appearance:

You can find the Cobras Episode (#106, wherein we discuss East Coast vs. West Coast gang movies, metal, Channing Tatum, and Greyhound bus rides) HERE. It was an epic time.

Let's see, what else...?

Oh yeah! Here's a picture of the IllCon Radio Team partying with our favorite punk vocalist/ladies' man/puppeteer David Liebe Hart:

L to R: Erik, Cobras, some black guy, Cory, Peter

Crazy times, man.
Oh, we're also gonna have some shirts and stickers and shit, too. And Apocryphon is putting out a split and doing a West Coast tour soon. And I might even find the time to write some shit about aliens or conspiracies or technical death metal or clown porn at some point as well.
Maybe.